Photos
If there is any problem with this crime it is that it is TOO perfect:
BOTTLES (of bath tub caulk) AND MODELS, Y’ALL!
Yikes. Needless to say, that is your girlfriend, performing your surgical procedure on your body. Here’s some details from the accompanying article:
According to court documents, Cruz-Dilworth told the women that she was a trained professional and that she would inject them with a substance the 28-year-old called “hydro-gel,” which is supposed to enhance the buttock. Instead, the New Brunswick resident injected her clients with a silicone sealant, the very same material used to caulk bathtubs. The injection sites were also sealed with Krazy Glue. [Ed. note: emphasis mine because GOOD GOD.]
What is the emoticon for a face that is crying and barfing and laughing at the same time?
I like this part, though:
According to investigators, Cruz-Dilworth would charge her clients a discounted rate of $ 650 to $ 1,200 for a procedure that would normally range from $ 10,000 to $ 15,000. The plus-sized model would usually travel to a client’s home, but sometimes they would come to her apartment, located in a gated community, to receive the services.
Haha. “The plus-sized model.” GOT HER. (I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with plus-sized models. I AM saying that they take a long enough time to include this fact in the article that it seems pretty readable as a zing. Also: she is a horrible criminal so fuck her. They should call her a yuck-sized model. They should call her FAT.)
Anyway:
Dear ladies,
Please be even just a little bit more careful out there.
Thanks,
Dr. Duh.
(Via ATLnightspots.com. Thanks for the tip, @malgs.)
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My ass hurts from just reading this article.
Ouch AND yick.
YOUCH.
TWSS
So I’m a little behind ( ha ) and had to google TWSS and this came up:
Urban Dictionary:
Short for that’s what she said. Only to be used in situations where saying that’s what she said would be deemed inappropriate.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/
But (ha?) your comment was totally appropriate!
TWSS!
I am really hoping we can go without making the obvious puns here.
Butt I want to.
This is something I can really get behind.
I don’t see what kind of pun there is to make about caulk in someone’s butt.
I guess we should be sensitive. Some people are so tushy.
I’m usually really anal when I check over my plastic surgeon’s qualifications.
I always check Angie’s List before any bathroom remodeling myself.
I bet her neighbors will say she was an ASSet to the community.
Ring a DING DONG
After PIX News’ crack reporting, I suspect she will be dumped from her gated community and living on the street like a bum.
How derriere you guys make fun of such a horrible crime.
No offence to that lady, but what she doesn’t know could tile a bathroom.
That’s what she gets for making assumptions.
Models. Bunch of tight asses.
I thought plastic surgery was going too far, but this really Polyseamseal’s the deal.
Oh wait, I thought the obvious puns were going to be “brands of caulk.” Guess my call to the Lowes’ help line was for naught.
“I don’t get it.”
-Kanye West
You’re such a party pooper.
This guy is next.
A DISGUSTING ACT!
I always get my medical treatments done by random people I meet at salons
The above is double-great when read in Zoidberg’s voice.
My first Videogum article of the morning reminds me that the best part of waking up is bathtub caulking in your butt.
I didn’t realize that they’d already begun filming Bridalplasty.
Ah, mans, you quick-on-the-draw so-and-so. You beat me to it, didn’t you.
i actually watched bridalplasty last night.
one of their “challenges” was to put together a puzzle faster than the other girls in a race to get to the injectables party… yes, an injectables party.
oh, and once they finished their puzzle, they grabbed a syringe off the table as their ticket to the injectables party.
Gabe’s writing up a post on this, right? Right?!?!?!??!
I was hoping you’d say they stabbed themselves with them.
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The average person wouldn’t watch this, but a Steve Win would.
Obligatory.
Your move, E! Network.
Also: Bravo
Are you citing the network or giving teacherman kudos? Please clarify ASAP as a upvote hangs in the balance.
Can’t… can’t it be both?
(It was the network…)
))((
(those are caulking guns, obviously)
aw man, foiled by html tags.
You think her clients would have been a little suspicious after she loaded her bathtub caulk in her caulk gun that she took out of her boyfriend’s tool box.
Boyfriend?
You know…us.
Whoops, that’s my [next-to-] hometown!
Haha, you’re from there
Don’t judge me. I’m not to blame for my parents’ terrible decisions.
Be careful when you go to the salon, Napoleon. Be careful.
But how else will my butt be beautiful??*
*aliliteration
you guys think they’ll work this little number in to human centipede 2?
It’s not medically accurate enough.
I was with you up until the extra 5 or 6 slow pan butt shots thrown in at the end. Have some class, youtube uploader!
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Wait, did I miss a good NJ joke?
What do you call a women in New Jersey that illegally operates on stupid people?
Call her whatever you want, but don’t call her late for dinner because she was busy performing illegal operations on stupid people.
you heard that one?
Anivia Cruz-Dilworth?
Seriously guy I don’t understand what’s made you so upset. Can you explain? Unless you’re a troll. If you’re a troll, do not pass Go, do not collect $200, go directly to jail.
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Dress like an Indian – What? Sounds a little racist without context…
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So…. wait…. who dresses like an Indian?
Also, which kind of Indian are we talking about? Feathers or dot?
Dress like an Indian, walk like an Egyptian” – Muhammed Bangleeee
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downvotes are important because we all crave the validation of our communities
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wait, are “cokeparty” and “alexander66″ the same person or not? they got the same avatar so I’m confused (But not SEXUALLY confused so dont assume that)
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???? No I dont do downvoting and upvoting, thought I already explained that, guy. frankly can’t ever picture myself giving a care about any of that noise
So her endorsement with Great Stuff is over now, right?
This reminds me of this:
(sorry)
Rad snack
Tight asses.
Little in the middle but she got (illegal) back.
So injecting bathtub caulk into someone’s butt is “practicing medicine without a license?” Really? Like if you actually had a license, injecting bathtub caulk into someone’s butt would just be practicing medicine?
“Jesus GOD that hurts! You told me this procedure would be quick and painless! What the fuck are you doing back there?”
“Just trust me; I’m practicing medicine.”
Never trust a big butt and a smile (and a caulk gun)- Bell, Biv, DeVoe
actually it was BDP: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12mbmoEJ2dg
Other Cruz-Dilworth procedures: Asbestos breast implants.
I bet those ladies wish they had a Caulk Tub Time Machine.
New Buttswick needed a new nickname.
This is Krazy.
Glue.