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Haha. “Do you have what it takes to brave the cave?” Uh, pretty sure I do. Pretty sure I have what it takes to look around a super shitty store that only sells knives in some half-empty strip mall somewhere. How hard could it be? Even this guy probably has what it takes to brave the cave. I’m just saying that he doesn’t seem that brave in general. Although, he also seems like he has a very good reason to muster his courage in this case. “Good sir, I have traveled many moons. Could you show me where you keep the katanas please? Methinks another unveiling is in order. I’m a hero.” (Thanks for the tip, Ben.)
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I’d brave HER cave! (sorry, I’ll show myself out.)
PARTY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never pass up an opportunity to save on a glaive.
Less bucks for your nunchucks
“Nunchucks aren’t knives!” -everyone
Don’t be a Jerk, come buy a Dirk
You’ll show you got swagger, withy a brand new dagger
Come for a sword you can afford
Don’t pay more for a claymore.
you can buy a claymore but you won’t have to pay more
sorry world/Frank Lloyd Wrong. That’s fate intervening right there
Be a thrifty superstar; buy a nifty scimitar!
Be a big saver and buy a sabre!
More discounts than you can shake a bayonet at!
BayoNET yourself some low prices!
I bow humbly to the superior joke.
Pshaw. Assists are just as important.
Win the goil with a brand new foil!
You know you wanna buy a katana!
Be a Mr. Fancy Pants! Get yourself a fancy lance!
This is the cheapest place to get your brand new mace.
Do not be swayed by lesser blades!
Need a macuahuitl? Well…uh…yeah, we have those.
Uh oh Gabe, you should have warned everyone that it is NSFN: Not Safe For Nerds.
“I accept this challenge.”
But you will have to fight through me, first!
What… is it?
If I’m not mistaken, I believe this gentleman is cosplaying as Xander the gay elf from Drawn Together.
I got that far… but I hesitate to look deeper.
It’s tape!
Spotted: A pretty lady in the Knife Cave.
XOXO
-R2D2, Esq.
So, it’s just a store with nothing but knives? Knives for decorating your house with or something? What an excellent use of money.
There are actually a lot of totally neat things you can buy there.
“I will take one knife and one R2D2 to go please.” Do you have to know what kind of knife you want in advance, or is it more of a browsing thing?
If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you don’t DESERVE to go to the Knife Cave.
Oh no! My shopping list just says “knives”, not any one specific kind!
Um, a Hellboy 2 replica sword is definitely a good investment, surely those things will only increase in value.
If only they also sold ponytails, you would have everything you needed to be That Guy.
hate this movie and HATE john cusack!!!!!!
So is this a knife museum or a knife store?
Well sure, that is a varied selection of knives. But do they have one of these?
For kids!
I’m not sure that I could brave the cave. I’d like to say I could, but in the end, I don’t think my wits are sharp enough for it. I’m not sure I could cut it.
I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I thought that commercial was a real slice.
Bad puns are bad. But oh so much fun.
I love bad puns (see username), let me take a stab at it!
I’m sure their prices are a steel
She is really attractive. Shame she had to talk.
I’m pretty sure you can go buy swords in Chinatown for like, ten bucks.
No Knife Cave necessary.
So there are a number of places like this? Someone please explain to me WHY anyone would purchase a sword!
For smiting your enemies, clearly
To fight demons. Durrr.
Oh my gosh Baby Friday, I live in Hollywood and it is MOSTLY stores like this. Also for sale: stripper clothes, offensive/lame t-shirts 3 for $10, floorlamp-sized bongs, and highly illegal sausages wrapped in bacon (no health codo complianceo).
True story: a few weeks ago I was in Chicago and walking back to my friend’s house from the Logan Square train and we passed a young man that was probably 20ish walking determinately down the street carrying a sword in his hand. It was 1 o’clock in the morning.
A few months ago I saw a man try to get on the Toronto subway with a loaded crossbow during afternoon rush hour. Good times.
Horrifying disclosure: I own 3 ninja swords, and a sword rack. I believe I have mentioned this before: the story of how there was a sign that said “Swords! 50% off!” and somehow this struck exactly the right nerve that day, so I bought the swords… only to realize I was then going to be walking around the rest of the day festooned with swords, and walking all the way home through my neighborhood, translucent bag overflowing with swords in hand. I got home and realized: “Well. Got some swords here. Now what?” Well, it turns out, what you do — if you both own swords and want to date girls — is that you hide them from sight.
Postscript: Years later, I took an acting class, and a classmate’s final scene called for a ninja sword. And he looked distressed because he did not want to buy a sword. So I was able to save the day with a lender. Is that a happy ending? I kissed a girl in my final scene. (No swordo.)
was she cute?
She was! Additionally, she walked with a cane, even though she was in her 20s, because she was mildly handicapable. Once, I took her to a party and she refused to bring the cane in, because she didn’t want strangers (my friends, who wouldn’t have cared) to know about it. She could walk slowly and stand briefly and fool everyone for a while but soon she was like, “There are some chairs,” and we sat. All was well. Her secret was kept. Two people pulled me aside to tell me she was cute and a drunk girl predicted we would marry. But we were just scene partners.
Meanwhile, back in class: the teacher was a lady who kept assigning her parts that demanded urgent pacing and kneeling and jumping up to run to imaginary windows across stage, and then the teacher would yell: “Okay, STOP! Do you think that was a convincing run? Acting is physical! Do you want to be here or not? Get in touch with your body and just move! No, I mean it, CAN WE PLEASE LOSE THE CANE?”
It was a night class we took for fun. It was not a real class.
wow…I hate acting teachers who have no sense of other people, especially when that is supposed to be their areas of expertise.
That’s almost exactly how I came to own a Limp Bizkit CD during the summer of 1999.
I was in Toledo, Spain a few weeks ago and I saw the place where Andúril from the movies was actually forged!
…y’know, guys, like Aragorn sword from Lord of the Rings? Like the sword of the heir of Isildur, king of Men. No? Okay, yeah, I’ll just go.
I know that place! They’re very orgulloso of that fact there.
I’ve been there, too! Guys, I bet we were all there at the same time.
As they should be! #commenting100yearslater
Using sex to sell knives really speaks to that Jack The Ripper demographic.
Finally, a store for this guy:
“Wait, the caps twist off? I’m a dummy.”
It’s pretty ironic that in a store full of knives, the most dangerous part of the store would definitely be whatever horrifying ailment you would get for touching that woman.
She’s already causing me some severe swelling…
HA-CHA-CHA-CHA!
True story: my quite mentally-troubled ex-step brother is very into knives. His mother (my ex-stepmother, for those taking notes) bought him several, which he then used to assault her one night. So no, I don’t think I have what it takes to brave the knife cave.
Sorry that sounds so dramatic. Didn’t mean to be such a bummer. Here’s a funny instead:
That’s Scott Pilgrim’s girlfriend.
I’m gathering why they’re EX relatives…
They should at least have more success than their previous venture.
I want to marry this.
things that make me happy: see above.
Spoon Lagoon: For the Spoon Tycoon
Our spoons are a boon, so get ready to swoon.
We open at noon, so come in and commune!
I’m pretty sure a floor that will spark when you drag a sword across it is a fire hazard.
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I’m glad she’s wearing her safety cleavage. Those knives look sharp!
I havent played the video yet but let me just say this: BOOBIES!!!!!
“Are you ready to brave the cave?”
So how many takes do you think they took in order to get the most suggestive possible diction on “come with me” at the beginning of this ad?
COME with me… nope. Come WITH me…. nuh-uh….. come with ME?…. no.
Acting!