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[Stephen K has a lifestyle blog and co-authors a fashion advice twitter that never gets updated. In this column, he will tell you how to get the hottest looks of today.]
With the penultimate Harry Potter movie set to arrive in theaters this week, anticipation for everything wizardly has grown to a fever pitch! But while the rest of the world has been waiting with bated breath counting down the minutes until this release, we’ve already finished our countdown for this week’s Look Like This star’s style release! That’s right, ladies! This week we tell you how to get that magical high fashion look of the ultimate not-a-girl, not-yet-a-witch: Emma Watson!
This tender, budding, just-ripe, so-so-tight stylista has certainly grown since she hit the scene starring as Hermoine Granger in the Harry Potter movies, as evidenced by this totally not creepy video tribute. Whether it’s bewitching us in Burberry or rocking the red carpet in Rodarte, this girl-woman has sure cast a style spell on us! Shazaam!
And we’re not the only ones to take notice. Major fashion designers such as Christopher Bailey of Burberry Prorsum and Karl Lagerfeld of Selling Rich White Women Variations on the Same Boucle Jacket Season after Season, LLC have taken her up as their muse de jour, creating custom confections for her spooktacular stylist to pick out for her to wear to photographed events inspiring more designers to give her more creations for her to wear to other events in a never-ending circle-jerk-of-the-phoenix of publicity. C’est magique!
Emma’s stylist’s look is a beguiling brew of classic sophistication, youthful exuberance, and young toad foreskin. This prettily powerful potion is exemplified by her recent red carpet showing in a drapy one-shouldered velvet and satin dress by Rodolfo Paglialunga for Vionnet. We don’t know about you, but we’re getting major witch vibes (down there, in our chamber of secrets)!
Now we know you WalMartistas might not be able to afford to hop over to Dover Street Market in London or Colette in Paris to snatch up this dress like we can, but we have a great alternative for you penny-pinchinistas! One affordably chic way to replicate a look like Emma’s at home is to shop for separate “inspired-by” pieces and put them together instead of searching for an exact copy of the dress. And don’t worry, no one will tell you to your face that it looks ridiculous and in no way comes even close to the exquisitely classic draping of the Vionnet dress. (Shhhh! Fashionista pro-tip: most people are afraid to tell even the most plainly obvious truths about their friends’ misguided sartorial choices!) This velvet bodysuit from Forever 21 is a reasonable non-rouched, non-assymetrical facsimile on the one-shouldered top-half of Emma’s dress and puts velvet right where you want it: right next to your outer labia. Pair it with this silky paper-bag waisted pleated skirt from the Gap and a great pair of heels and a great purse and some great jewelry and a great smokey eye and some great painted lips and a better top and maybe just go buy the Vionnet dress and you have an ultra chic look that will make Snape’s Snake Slither right In (but for the velvet protection spell)!
Another key aspect to Emma’s look is her new pixie cut.
When Emma cut her hair, we thought to ourselves, “Oh, Hermione! How could you? Your one beauty!” But after a little time and some intense one-on-one primal scream and role playing sessions with our hairapist, we eventually grew to accept it. Like other close-cropped-hair-ista ingenues Jean Seberg, Mia Farrow, Winona Ryder, and Janet Reno before her, Emma is blazing her own feminista trail. Her haircut dares us to re-examine our traditional cis-heteronormative gender signals in a way we’ve never done before since the last time a star with an excessively beautiful face cut her hair short as has been happening every 10 years or so since the beginning of time. And we love her for it! To get this look, you will need (1) some garden shears, (2) a ridiculously symmetrical face. But if you’re afraid to take the full plunge because you’re afraid men will no longer find you attractive and think that you look like a pre-pubescent boy (And, trust us, ladies! That is a totally justified fear!), we have the perfect solution! This affordable hairpiece will give you that Hermione Granger soigne style without having to sacrifice your sexually appealing hair. Top it off with this jaunty hat and you’re ready to take on any anti-muggle hate crime the world throws at you!
As always, we hope these tips will help you deceive other people into thinking you’re more interesting and stylish than you actually are. And relax, it’s just a glamor!
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Sigh… wonder how long I have to wait for her to start liking me. Then I will be validated at last
by the way I was talking about Emma Watson in case that wasnt clear
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Emma had her own opinions of those dates.
Wait, does this mean she was like twelve when they dated?
A velvet bodysuit from Forever 21?? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLOSET EMMA WATSON!
Meanwhile, Rupert Grint
Talk about Harry Pooter
Funny that you post this because I was just thinking about how much I’m in love with her. And not like “Damn she’s hot” (although she is) kind of love…I’m talking i’m in love with her like I want to take her home to meet my family and get old together.
And after she dies, you can wear her skin as a coat, and make a toothbrush from her hair, and (?!?!?)
i know her hair dresser. i already have the toothbrush.
get out of my head
I will just as soon as you took my back scratcher made from her toenail clippings.
Should read “admit you took”. Stupid comedy gold, always making me rush things.
No.
Sadmalandar should want to cook her a simple meal, but he shouldn’t want to cut into her, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where her flesh becomes her key.
Gross, the Gap. You are seriously trying to sell us a 100 percent polyester skirt for $50? People can buy the same skirt in actual silk at J. Crew for the same price, sewn in the same sweatshop no doubt. Concentrate your efforts on your Old Navy nightmare loose, elasticized “fabrics to clothe your hideous body” line.
or you could wait about 15 minutes for them to mark it down to 9 dollars. has anyone ever paid full price for something at the gap? if so, who? and why?
gapgum.com, apparently
so there was this SUPER neat-o green argyle sweater vest at the gap SEVEN YEARS AGO and I was like *WANT* and then I was like *FOURTY-FIVE DOLLARS! BOO!* and the snooty jerks who work there were all like “quit yelling at our clothes, eye-roll, somber face.”
ANYWAY, I went back like once a week for a month because what else did I have to do on the weekend?…and then one day it was just not there. not there at all. there was the grey one and the ugh-white and black one in the clearance section but no colors….not even that blue one i would have settled for…
Over the next few weeks I visited a few other gaps (the one near my parents, the one on the way to my parents…gap.com) and even a GAP OUTLET *gross* and no luck. I had to accept that I would just have to let that dream go.
…which I obviously did and am not holding onto at all.
I would have loved you sweater vest; I would have loved you good.
um this is a PRETTY excellent comment.
I work at the Gap, and I want to take this time to apologize for our pricing, because it is awful. As for the solemn look we customers give you when there is not a sale, it is most likely because our souls have been beaten to the point where we no longer feel feelings. “I WANT TO RETURN THIS FOR FULL PRICE WITHOUT A RECEIPT.” The people say as they shove a worn and washed sweatshirt from 2008 in my direction. “I BOUGHT IT LAST WEEK I SWEAR.” Much like the prostitute of commerce, I usually find myself staring at the ceiling and thinking of England every time a costumer tries to screw me.
I am not whining, once again I don’t feel feelings, I just got back from an 8 hour shift where a costumer made me call every store in the tri-state area to find a pair of “anklepants.”
Does she ever make a different face?
#seriousgum
Problem?
http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb419/adanmagana0210/emmatroll.jpg?t=1290107539
Professor Topshop over here.
“Look Like This”?
While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? #princessbride
I am nothing if not committed.
Whoa, mama. I like that .gif. Paul Rudd better watch his back!
BFF, speaking of HOT GUYS, I have two words for you: MARK. RUFFALO.
Sometimes this is what it takes to sober me up, too.
can we please keep going with these Princess Bride gifs for ever and ever?
Ta.
so many upvotes -in my head, as I could only vote once, damn you democracy.
can someone make a gif of Wesley rolling down the hill? I tried, but gifsoup failed me by crashing. *sob*. And I thought that scene was the most romantic thing ever when I was 13.
You are my hero, cakeordeath, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Look at those lips. Ay ay ay. Someone get me a cold drink of water.
True story: I actually saw a six fingered man on the train the other day. He had two thumbs that were fused together.
It’s actually not that uncommon. This guy has it as well:
I don’t like The Princess Bride. I saw it a few years ago, and spent the entire time playing with Ferrerro Rocher wrappers instead. I probably ate like a hundred just to have more to fold up, etc.
Then, this summer, my boyfriend’s best friend’s girlfriend was saying how much she loved it, how much she loved this very movie that always causes me to not understand while people love it so much, and when she asked if I liked it, I just said “uh huh…”.
It was one of the biggest lies I have ever told.
#confessiongum
Go back to your alternate universe.
She is totally adorable. I want to carry her around in my purse, in the least creepy way possible.
Funny you say that! I always say that I want to carry Tim Gunn around in my pocket. Also in the least creepy way possible.
i want a lock of hair from each of you to carry in my wallet. in the creepy way.
TIMN, we really were separated at birth. I say all the time that I want to put Sweets from Bones aka Sam Weir from Freaks and Geeks into my pocket.
‘Rodolfo Paglialunga’? Sounds like a spell of some sort.
Harry: “Expecto PATRONUM!”
Lord Voldermort: “Rodolfo PAGLIALUNGAAAAAA-A-A-A-A!!!!”
Harry: “Nooooooooooooooo!”
Actually, I am not a WalMartista. I am a Targetista. Get it right or pay the price! (The low, low price…)
At least you’re not an H&Mista, that place sucks.
Funny, I always had you pegged for a home-made-fursuitista.
I told you not to tell anyone about our personal life, Taco!
I’m a DressBarnista. Just kidding, I’m a 5-7-9-ista.
Not a WetSealista or a ContempoCasualista???
All of those. Also a Merry-Go-Round-ista.
One of the things that I’ve always wondered:
What would have happened Emma Watson had not grown up to be as attractive as she so obviously is? Would they have replaced her? I mean, Hollywood is such an asshole sometimes.
Did they know, even when she was 11 that she was going to be attractive? Because I find that kind of foresight a little disturbing. Well, Hollywood is an asshole sometimes so I guess if anyone was scoping the little girls for their future attractiveness it would be them.
Better yet! Do asking these questions make me an asshole? IDK! I hate issues like these. Why can’t we all just be amazingly attractive people inside and out?
Because if we were all amazingly attractive, I wouldn’t get to brag about how lucky I am to have married out of my league.
well they didn’t replace ron, and he turned into a gross whimpering dud. also malfoy!
he looks like a 600% enlarged scale model of a fetus.
missed opportunity for a hot villian. instead he’s like that weirdo you knew with an asian girlfriend, actually from asia, and sometimes you wonder if the language barrier is so strong that she doesn’t actually know shes dating him.
On the other hand, damn, Neville turned out pretty ok (np pervo)
Is he a soulful indie rocker? He looks like he should be. Which is a good thing.
wowowowowow I shoulda looked him up earlier
Why the long bottom?
HA!
DAYYYYYYYUM.
Wow Neville is totally me. (once a chubby kid, now tall and handsome) Way to go man!
It’s different for guys in Hollywood, I think. Seth Rogen is (unironically?) playing a superhero. idk.
Also – I totally knew that guy in highschool. I’m not going to think of him everytime Draco comes on the screen thursday night… thanks. jk
I don’t know! Did you see that video where they’re all talking about mozzarella sticks and “boo-yah”? (What? But true.) Malfoy was hot. (Yes, I’m a 25-year-old woman preparing to stand in line tonight to drool over teenagers.)
I scheduled my job orientation so I could go stand in line tonight. (I’m 26.) And that video was great!
Obligatory Zombie Joke: HHHHEEERRRMMMIIIOOONNNEEE
If I could look like her by Avada Kedavra-ing someone, I think I would probably do it. (I’d definitely get sorted into Slytherin)
I already bear a striking resemblence to Ron Weasley, so I do indeed already look like this. I can’t go to the movies without some jokester shouting, “It’s Ron Weasley!”
This may have been funnier in my head, but I figure I have to post it after going through the trouble of making it.
Agreed.
shout out to amy march! “your one beauty!”
poor jo!
full disclosure: i’ve never read pretty women, but i used to watch the vhs winona ryder version every single day when i lived alone. so shout out to kirsten dunst! poor winona!
fuller disclosure: i’ve never seen/read harry potter anything but i’m digging these fashion tips. cheerio going to the shoppe.
little women. i’ve read pretty women MANY MANY MANY times. OH JESUS! GOODBYE, VIDEOGUM! I’M NEVER COMING BACK THIS IS TOO HUMILIATING.
As someone who is secretly into fashion (clothes, really), I am loving Look Like This! !!
As someone who is not even very into fashion, I am loving Look Like This! !!
I am loving Look Like This as someone who recognizes awesome blogging when he sees it.
I just found out recently that I’m related to Emma Watson
#FeelingGuiltyOverAdolescentSexualFantasiesGum
But I wanna Look Like This
It’s okay though, cause it’s Thursday night, so I am currently Look(ing) Like This:
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I just signed in for the first time in 100 million billion years just to comment on how wrong you are.
Very wrong. This was hilarious.
This is the closest I’ll ever get to reading a fashion blog, and some of the jokes are very funny! But as a heterosexual male, some of them go right over my head. Dresses! Skirts! Tunics! (Am I doing this right?)
But also, I don’t want to get rid of it either, because I actually enjoy being exposed to the world of fashion (read: I like looking at all the pretty girls in their high designer fashions [although they can be dressed in paper bags for all I care]).
There was definitely a Little Women reference in there! It all leads back to Wyno Forever.
Wyno may (not) be dead, but she’s still (not) pretty.
#buffyjokeicameupwithcauseiloveyourbuffyavatar
Wow, does this mean that the actor portraying longbottom is gonna get fired or something? For not looking like a complete asshole anymore?
Also, are Harry and Ron having a beef up competition? Pretty soon they ll be the Stalone and Swartzeneger of our era.
FAKE EDIT: I am old, this is definatelly not my era. I grew up listening to Spice Girls and Macarena. I go play some 2d sidescrolling video games cause fuck all else.
3 thumbs up for the ‘engorgio Armani’
Probably an urban legend but there’s a story about a kid at Brown getting kicked
out of a lecture hall for yelling out ‘TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!’ when
Emma Watson volunteered a correct answer.