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Who let my dogs out? HI! HI HI HI HI!
Whattup, young men who feel that it is more important to engage in things that you care passionately about than to worry about what other people think, and young women who know that self-confidence comes from inside of yourself not from what some boy says. Today I want to rap at you about the character you can build by doing some work, and hey guess what, dudes, the spending money isn’t bad either LOLOLz. Wear a helmet!
There’s lots of jobs for young ambitious people to get: raking leaves and shoveling snow, are just two of the three possible jobs you could do! The third is babysitting. This will teach you responsibility AND put some cold hard moolah in your chain wallet. But what are you going to do? Just find some friends of your parents who have a child that needs babysitting and ask if you can babysit for them? No way, dude, don’t be a dorkus malorkus! Use your noggins, Noids! You’re going to need a video tutorial for Successful Babysitting first. Well guess what, XBOXhead, we’ve got one for you right here, no doy awesome. Meet you on the corner of Easy Street and Responsible Young Adult Avenue!
Important message to adults: do NOT hire a teenager to babysit your children until they have seen this video. Make sure to ask them if they have before you leave for the opera. (Thanks for the tip, Benjamin.)
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What I like about this ad is that it’s by teenz, for teenz! So I know they’re speaking my language, you know? I feel like I could talk to these peers about anything, even the Sugarhill Gang (parents don’t get it).
Or the Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff. Parents just don’t understand…
He’s the child, I’m the sitter.
I find that the best tool for babysitters is lots of Mike’s hard lemonade, because by the kids realize the juice tastes funny, they’re too drunk to care.
Notsewfast: Nice work with this comment. Your organization and structure is sound and you really challenge the reader to think about what it means to “babysit” and, even, how we define “juice.” I do wish you would have proofread a bit more closely, though, given the strength of your comment overall, this is a relatively minor concern. Well done on the whole!
Grade: Upvote.
Through all of my public schooling I never got such a detailed comment on my work. So for now on when I remember back on High School, I’ll substitute your comment instead. “Ya, High School was alright, I had one good teacher, I forget his name. Good guy.”
I love this.
In my defense, I went to school at Sunnydale High, so classes were almost constantly canceled due to the hellmouth. My English teacher was eaten by an enchanted hyena… Also, I’m a baby.
Man, I bet that gets you out of all kinds of situations.
Highschool Baby Vampire Slayer, coming Thursdays this spring on CW.
Yay for anything BTVS related ever!
I thought she had a speech impediment.
“They’ll put anything in their mouths.”
Okay, you guys, I’m not going to tell you what she said, I’m just going to say that she is a slut and leave it at that.
One can never babysit without mints. Also cool shoes.
So I wasn’t supposed to literally sit ON the baby, huh? I guess my legal team is going to need to come up with a new defense strategy!
Cream and Teenagers as the tags for this post? Brb, off to prison, C U L8R
Any video that advocates putting a kid in front of Mario for extended periods of time is ok in my book. Granted, my book is titled “Leaving your kids to Be Brainwashed by the Japanese” so it’s kind of bad recommendation…
No it is the best recommendation. Especially if said Mario is Mario 2 because it is the best. (No arguments here. You can be the princess, and she can float over things that are hard to kill. Cased closed: INSTANT AWESOME.)
True story: I played Mario 3 with my babysitter for hours and got upset cause she was old and wasn’t doing it right. I miss you, Winnie. Only you could put up with me.
True story: My babysitter let me watch Stephen King’s It at the age of 8 because “It has a clown in it. I think it’s for kids.” Fuck you, Liz. FUCK. YOU.
Still not as scary as certain episodes of Family Matters I could think of.
Don’t remind me. ::shudder::
True story: I don’t trust people who think Mario 2 is the best.
P.S. I’m going out to get some ice cream. Want some?
True story: You can eat it. Your ice cream I mean. I would love some, but I have a conference call. UGH.
Also, it only just occurred to me that you were referencing “I Should Have Done Something,” that horrifying episode of Family Matters that haunts me to this day, which I keep trying to push out of my head, but can’t forget due to loads of unaddressed anxiety issues. I’m going to start seeing a therapist and sending my bills to Miller-Boyett.
Call me Insulted Friday.
Insulted Friday!
I miss that old ten-dollar bill
Her reaction to only getting 10 dollars was the same reaction I had seeing the acid wash jeans she pulled them out of.
Well I’m sure she usually gets paid with a 15 dollar bill, which totally explains why she was shocked that the single bill she received did not equal the total amount she was due.
Toddlers make the best coin purses.
School Bus accident, Teach Me How 2 Study, Yo-Yo Bieber, Baby Gwyneth Cry-a-lot, and now Babysitting tips (MINTS. Why didn’t I think of that 12 years ago?!)… I’m worried about Gabe.
Gabe’s humor is just Benjamin Buttoning.
True story (not really a story):
My friend and I occasionally break out in “Benjamin Buttonisms”:
“While everyone else was busy gettin’ oldahhh, I was busy gettin’ youngaaah.” OR
“You might want to let it steep.” / “Steeeeep?”
And we laugh for many, many minutes.
I am assuming here that by “friend” you mean “Baby Friday.”
He’s trying to tell us he’s pregnant. Congrats!
Don’t forget about his twitter wanting to know how fucking kids works.
But your funbags are so big! How will I ever get such big funbags, big sis!?
I’ll be escorting myself to jail now. But seriously that was a huge “fun bag”. You’re going to a kids house! Spoiler alert: Kids have their own toys.
As a concerned parent, I always ask a potential babysitter to describe her funbags in detail before hiring her. No pedo.
Ugh, so you’re saying I bought every volume of the Babysitter’s Club for NOTHING? Though I guess the real value there are the fashion tips. Stirrup pants: true til death.
Fashion Tip: one paper mache parrot earring and one paper mache palm tree earring. Worn at the same time.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about all the things I could do with children of different ages.”
I have a feeling that if I used that line every time I got distracted, people wouldn’t react the same way.
clearly the priorities are in line:
“The first rule of babysitting is make sure you get paid. The second rule is making the parents think you’re concerned about the kids. Then, bring a big bag of fun stuff that the kids can choke on.”
Chris Hansen is the only baby sitter you will ever need, brohams
“My mom said you want to babysit me this week I can’t wait wow cool shoes!” That child grew up to be the acting coach for the kid from The Walking Dead.
CARL
No, “Carl”
how did they forget to suggest cutting the child’s hair to earn an extra tip?
Unless your boss is Don Draper
How is babby sat????
How grrl get sparkle shoes?
Tons of fucking sequins.
Answered.
I found this helped.
Um, can we talk about the baby that is constantly barfing up quarters? Where do I adopt one? I have like a ton of laundry to do.
I think thats why Mrs Jones underpaid her, stealing money from the baby
If my babysitters had worn cooler shoes, maybe I’d know how to dress myself fashionably today. Thanks a lot, Eileen, Dodi and Laura!
Did anyone else feel all kinds of awkward/embarassed for her as she’s giving these babysitting tips whilst putting on a marvelous scrunchy?
This is exactly how Carrie must have felt when Burger wrote that scrunchy into his novel.
I had a babysitter who could have used this video. When I was 8 years old, she would make ME take out the garbage because SHE didn’t feel safe going around to the side of the house by the garbage pails. Also, she used to shake the milk container because she thought it was cool how there would be bubbles in your glass of milk afterward.
So, thanks Mom and Dad. You hired a teenager who your 8 year old son thought was an immature scaredycat.
“Remember to ask what the specific rules are when learning new television and video games”
My babysitter could have learned something from this video. Amy was always SO BAD at Donkey Kong Country.
So, honestly, I’m kind of curious who thought it would be a great idea to make a video which would involve stuffing choking hazards into a baby’s mouth over and over again, for take after take, with the message that it’s really easy for kids to choke. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that we were looking at Choking Hazard Baby #3, if not #4.
Baby bangs: prerequisite for any babysitting opportunity.
I once called my babysitter fat, to see if I could get away with it. She stopped the car, made me get out, and then drove off. There was about 15 minutes where I really had to contemplate my future. And then she came back. Kids, the babysitter is always in charge.
Don’t fuck with the babysitter!
You know what else can be found at the corner of Easy Street and Responsible Young Adult Avenue?
I had a babysitter who used to eat our vitamins, because they were delicious (true) and also she was…nuts? And so my mom hid them and told me not to tell her where they were. One day, I got my tiny plastic elephant stuck under the stove, and that jerk babysitter said she wouldn’t rescue him until I told her where the vitamins were. So I told her, and she rescued him, and I felt terrible anyway.
So yes, bring your own mints, you crazy bitches.
Is it bad that I’m 30 years old and used the phrase “dorkus malorkus” the other day?
I used to love having a babysitter because it meant my parents were forking over real money to have someone care for me and not leaving me in the clutches of my older siblings who thought it was hilarious to do things like put tobasco sauce in my medicine when they gave it to me before bed at night.
I was not allowed to babysit my younger siblings as it was assumed these were the tactics I would get up to.
I believe that my parents took this into account when performing the cost-benefit analysis.
My boss’s family is now +1 baby, and I am glad I still have my NES and Super Mario 1-3 for when I offer up babysitting services (I like babies, but not in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle way). This baby is about to be pwned when I start crouching on the white blocks in SM3.
Also, work is currently overwhelming and I am so sad to have missed out on certain threads (WMOAT: American Beauty, I’m looking in your direction).
the hardest part of babysitting is when you tell the kid to go to bed, but instead he goes to bread. i hate when that happens.
Or when they order 25 foot Italian party subs and try to host AA meetings at the house.
These comments have made me realize, as nothing else has, that our world is changing and diversifying. Everybody’s childhood babysitters had names like Amy, and Eileen and Laurie. The teens who sit on my babies are going to be named things like Trystanda, Orangello, Ludacristina or Bella. And I love that, not just because I love America, but because it will make my kids feel like every day with the sitter is a bonkers fantasy adventure.
i took a babysitting class when i was a kid and was terrified that you had to learn cpr. you know, in case the baby/kid starts dying on you.
ME TOO. oh man that class was scary. Those horrible little CPR practice babies, ugh.
Last time I babysat, SNL was still good!
“Bitch I’m not giving you any tips; stealing all my gigs by underselling me. YES?! NO!”
This video looks like it was edited by Pietro Scalia.
#filmeditorgum