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The night before her wedding she was throwing up. It wasn’t entirely clear if the queasiness she felt was from her sudden departure from childhood into the land of adults, or the fact that she didn’t care very much for her fiance. Oh, he was fine, and certainly much better than the one Martina had married, but he drank too much, and he smelled, and although he didn’t hit her, he was rude. Perhaps that was just the best the world had to offer, it certainly seemed that way, but she could still feel sick about it, and she did. In the morning, the thin gray light came in through the window along with the sound of the chickens being slaughtered for the feast–the whole village would be in attendance after all–and suddenly she felt better. It wasn’t happiness or anything, but there was a peaceful understanding. This was her life. You do not have any choice but to live it. She walked downstairs where her mother greeted her with warm bread and a pat on the hand, and did not even ask her to put on her boots to do any errands. Perhaps she would even grown fond of him, she thought as she sipped her morning tea out of a thick, chipped mug.
And later, after everything was done, there was this:
Nine months later she had a BABYYYYYYY! (Thanks for the tip, Paul.)
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Sounds like they’re dancing to a ton of farts(dubstep).
In the Balkans it is customary for the bride’s uncles to slowly cropdust all of the wedding guests immediately following the ceremony.
Woah, don’t let CopperCab hear you say that. I hear he FUCKING LOVES DUBSTEP.
at first my joke was going to be:
“the family traded 5 goats and an AK-47 to get the video camera to tape the wedding party”
and then they started FIRING GUNS!!! so I can only assume the camera is stolen.
I dig your moves Gabe
“Nine months later she had a BABYYYYYYY!”
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, that dancing almost go ME pregnant.
*got
fuck….
haha, I was having a rough day at work today and actually walked around the office like this. Sad Charlie Brown shuffle…
It looks like Salem’s live show has improved.
HA! In Soviet Russia, you do not have dancing wedding- Dancing wedding has you.
Beats having to do the fucking electric slide with a bunch of relatives you hate.
At my wedding I’m definitely going to have my dad and all his brothers all fire their guns into the air in the great room at the Ramada downtown.
I’m marrying an Arab in 6 months and I can only imagine the embarrassing things her extended family are going to do.
It’s Friday. Let’s dance.
Impressive… Now release your anger!
Crap!
this is how we look when we dance, we say to ourselves “Gwyneth is so lame, we’re way cooler than that” we are not
Also, where do those bullets land?
rad abortion gif
Okay, this is actually an appropriate context for an abortion reference.
WOO HOOOO!!!!! FREE AT LAST FREE AT LAST THANK GOD ALMIGHTY !!!!!!!!!
This scene is simultaneously the happiest and also the most melancholy scene of almost any movie. Happy because it’s amazing! Melancholy because he doesn’t get the girl.
Also, because he grows up to be John Crier.
You mean, EMMY AWARD-WINNER John Crier.
Oh! I love this scene!!! Dance, Ducky, you beautiful sonofabitch! Soon, you’ll be on a terrible sitcom and you’ll have nothing to dance for (except your Golden Globes and your millions of dollars).
Wait, how did Tina Fey dancing get downvotes? I’m baffled, people, this seems right up your alley.
And my grandma was there for the whole thing, laying down the beats.
Next thing you know these guys will be at an awards show dancing to Single Ladies
Everybody there was strapped, except for the bride. Who was probably the one who needed a gun the most.
Nevermind, just burn it down. Burn all the guns down.
…use your syntax, scrabio.
Never mind and hour later, when the bullets fell and killed two cows and a duck. Unfortunately, no humans were hurt.
I kept expecting the bullets to return from the sky and put that giant frowny wedding cake out of its misery.
YOU JUST GOT SERVED!
May I say, though, that those old men can cut a serious rug.
I know, right? The shoulder shimmying is mesmerizing!
It’s Friday and somebody just got paid a dowry!
Was I the only one who was instantly concerned the moment the man reloaded the gun and stuck it in his pants?
When you live the life, that’s how it goes…..
Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta
Truthfully: I was very concerned.
Reloaded his gun and stuck in back in his pants? The TWSS opurtunities are endless!
Classic mistake. Plaxico Burress knows.
I finally signed-up for an account so I could up-vote you, Superglue.
Well, I don’t agree with your college sports preference, but I will welcome you to the group anyway! Welcome, jayhawk!
A rare sports joke on the Videogums! Well done, Superglue.
This is the person officers. What Superglue, did you think you could just post sports references on videogum without there being any ramifications???
Assholes Uzbekistan!
This was a grand prize winner on Eastern Europe’s Most Normal Home Videos
No wonder pop culture has devolved into one giant octopus ouroboros. In the old days, this would’ve been filler in a Monty Python episode, there’s canned laughter, and Graham Chapman would come out in a military uniform and tell everyone to stop being silly.
But if you want to make zany madcap things nowadays…I mean…what’s left?
Hey, you know what doesn’t work? Typing HTML tags into comments and expecting them to (for instance) emphasize your text.
Albania is so HOT right now….
“…there are snooty eastern european peasants in the corner and on Tuesdays the perform village fertilization rituals….soo hot”
(Sorry. The execution of that joke was a terrible failure)
I liked it better when it was called the Superbowl Shuffle.
This is actually a reinterpretation of an American tradition, as that girl’s four fathers are exercising their right to bear arms.
My family has a similar tradition at gatherings. But instead of intricate coordinated dances, we drink scotch and yell a lot about everything. That’s when the guns come out…
brother?
It’s really the scotch that keeps us going back, isn’t it?
Yeah the steps are important. Stay on beat and aim carefully. But most importantly, and listen closely: NEVER stop holding hands.
People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden…
The Dubsteppes
i like the man 2nd from the left the best–he shoots his gun with such vigor and does NOT put the safety back on before shoving it deep into his pants again.
Really it was good to read the article. Excellent.
Mystic White