Photos
Not really sure why this is even a news story, and certainly unclear as to why it’s being posted on the Internet. Headline: “Normal Fight Occurs.” I’m not saying it’s pretty, but you get a couple of men in a room and/or barn, and eventually one of them is going to force the other to eat his own beard in a dispute over a lawnmower and/or milk extractor. It’s just human nature. And it’s going to keep being human nature until we can evolve into spectral beings of pure energy carried on the wind of thought. At which point we will get in fights over cloudmowers, and force each other to eat our own auras. What? (Thanks for the tip, Joel and Nick.)
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Southern Style, indeed, Harvey.
“Southern style” just means “deeply fried.”
Cajun style?
Damnit, Mans. I was actually a little excited for my raisin bran before you posted that.
Damn my vegetarianism.
My favorite breakfast. Rarely procured though. #californiamenugum
This is the real creole seasoning:
I eat this on everything. Including cake…
Damn it Nightmare, I was going to post the Tony’s. Oh well. Your pittance is fixing a yummy meal for me. Maybe some etouffee. IDK, we’ll iron out the details later.
Here you go, JD! I made you crawfish etouffee:
enjoy!
It is pretty good. If cakes weren’t supposed to be spiced, there wouldn’t be a spice cake.
Oh Gee! Lawrenceburg is two towns over where here I was born and grew up. Since my hometown was in a dry county, Lawrenceburg was where we would have to go to get beer (that is, it was the big city to us).
Good job! Keep me proud!
And if you are wondering, that is what I sound like when I talk.
I knowed it! I knowed that was how you talked!
I always read your comments with George Plimpton’s voice.
I seen you on that there vidya chat and ya talked all smart like…
I was waiting for Mans to come in and murder this thread.
Literally.
Did I ever tell you all about the time I worked at Piggly Wiggly?
Did I ever tell you all about when I used to sell frozen hamburgers to golfers under a dead maple tree?
Did I ever tell you all about the time the family therapist gave me $20 to dig in the crawlspace of is office and I found bones?
Did Mans ever tell you about his pet chicken named Herbert?
You kid, but those three stories are true.
Yes. Never Forget.
Top ten best headlines of all time
Man Forced to Eat His Own Beard Because He Was Hungry During Lawnmower Fight
That’s what I get for trying to use html at 9:30am
This story totally grosses me out, so I was going to make a light hearted joke about how some gay actors have “beards” as wives, because I’m so hilarious no duh. The joke was going to be something about eating them? I don’t know. I didn’t think it all the way through. Anyway, I googled for a picture to really punctuate the still unformed joke, and found this. Ugh. We all deserve to eat our beards.
So yes, called Mrs Hugh Jackman a beard is OK, but calling her fat and ugly is not OK. I went to the Steve Winwood School of Moral Jokes.
She doesn’t really seem fat or ugly to me.
Who exactly is making this google search? I mean “hugh jackman wife ugly”? I don’t have a joke, it’s just a very weird life choice to put those words into a search engine. People are bizarre, y’all.
Agreed.
Also, she looks a little like Anna Paquin to me. Sookeh!!
2012: It’s not the apocalypse we deserve, but it’s the apocalypse we need.
My only question is, why was my dad in Kentucky?
Looks like he didn’t get very far. Do we get to have a neckbeard conversation again?!
He was just pissed they didn’t douse his beard in gravy before they force fed it to him.
It’s a delicacy in Canada.
pork gravy…its a southern thing.
Oh dear god.
Sadly, help was late in arriving.
Speaking of how fat he was….those glasses would have looked abnormally huge on any hipster or Terry Richardson, but they looked so tiny on his morbidly obese face.
I really miss running my fingers through my boyfriend’s long luxurious beard, but I’m just glad that he’s okay.
Does anyone else feel like they have a hair in their throat now? Gross. Gross, gross, gross.
Also,
Teacherman, I love you, and this particular strip is relevant, but please be VERY CAREFUL in your decisions on whether or not to include Garfield in these discussions.
Love you too, IHABFAT, but
LOL i definitely agree that the best way to describe a situation in which you are held at knife point and forced to eat your own beard is most assuredly “haywire”. that is fantastic.
as a beard owner I do not endorse this behaviour
Someone get this man a cupcake!
ALSO this guy really let himself go.
hahahah i see what you did there. LIMP BIZKIT IN THE HOUSSSEE.
Big Dumb Head’s album “Duke Lion Fights the Terror!!” is quite a gem.
Anything Wikipedia calls “Speed Country” sounds interesting to me.
Lol It’s a pretty fun album. Duke Lion is the hero and the songs are about him fighting monsters or songs about the monsters themselves. “Burning Blood Red Head On Fire” is one of my favs, as is the track describing Duke Lion.
He’s the son of man and God and lion/ He’s the one who keeps the good from dyin’/ We’ve seen the rest, he is the best, /He’s the best and his name is Duke Lion!
His golden sword can shoot out balls of fire,/ His special armor makes him never tire/ His magical arrows fly like sparrows/ He fights for good for free, he’s not for hire…
One of my housemates back at art school brought it to my attention, and he actually did sketches of how he imagined the characters. Later I colored some of the sketches he did and now it’s my iTunes album art for the album. http://kajusx.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d1cd2lv
P.S. I am not, nor ever was a Limp Bizkit fan. I skoffed when my friend presented the Duke Lion album to me, but gave it a shot and was happy I did, as it is NOTHING like the music Limp Bizkit plays.
logged in just to express my excitement over limp bizkit reference……
AHH
too early, spooked myself
Is this the Antoine Dobson of backwoods Kentucky?
The thing is, this isn’t backwoods Kentucky. This is just outside of Lexington. THIS IS THE REGULAR PART.
In backwoods Kentucky, they could have cut his beard and eaten it themselves.
The South is DEFINITELY rising again.
They’re forcing oil seed rape on errbody out here!
Hide your beards hide your mowers? Not quuuuite the same ring. Getting there!
Run and tell FAT, homeboy!
They force feedin’ errybody out here?
I hope this incorporated into a future episode of Justified in some way.
FACT: Eating beards* is what makes Gwyneth Paltrow so Country Strong (TM).
*-Organic, free-range, grass-fed beards, of course. I mean come ON.
I don’t understand why you’re all being so harsh towards this gentleman, after he went through the trouble of wearing his best clean hat AND tucking in his shirt.
I like how the guy offered him $250 for the tractor, then got mad because he felt he was being ripped off. By his own offer.
So basically, there were just some classy people, acting classy, and then they fought over who was most classy.
This makes me very, very concerned and so far is my biggest motivation for trimming my beard. I mean, I don’t know how much hair I can eat in one sitting, but it’s probably not a lot, so as much as I wouldn’t want to eat my beard at all, I really wouldn’t want to continue eating it well past the point of fullness.
Please, please, please, please don’t let this be from Kentucky!
I get the impression that this guy’s poops are horrific enough already without pieces of beard in them.
He seems like a nice guy. I’m glad he wasn’t killed.
We probably don’t have too much in common, though.