Today is Veterans Day. If you know someone who has served in our armed forces, give them a call, let them know that you were thinking about them today. It’s a nice thing to do. I called my grandpa. He quoted MacArthur. And so it goes. Of course, only people who have actually been in wars can understand the full extent of that horror, and only they can interpret what this “holiday” means to them. Far be it from me to suggest that perhaps after risking your VERY EXISTENCE in the defense of something as complicated and philosophically intangible as a “country,” your idea of a good time and an appropriate tribute to your fellow soldiers isn’t a glancing champagne toast made by Hudson Hawk star, Bruce Willis aboard the S.S. Intrepid. “I have definitely seen things that I will not even talk to my family about, such is the depth of my trauma and pain, but somehow this makes it all worth it,” is perhaps a thing that a veteran would say. It is not for us to decide. All we can decide is whether or not to watch a video of that toast after the jump:

Get home safe, troops. Go home, Bruce Willis.

Comments (35)
  1. Bruce Willis is all like “YIPPIE KIE YIE YAY MOTHA FUCKAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!”

  2. Let’s hope he played a few of his hits:

  3. That’s so cool that they got Andy Dick to deejay!

  4. WHAT YOU TALKIN’ ‘BOUT WILLIS!

  5. “‘And I will stand up next to you and fight’.. well not me but my neighbors kid..”

  6. “Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.” — John McClane

    Being white is hard.

  7. Actually, Gabe, my dad is a Vietnam Veteran and he fucking loves Die Hard. So I bet he would be psyched!!!!!

  8. Sobieski = Polish Vodka, no? How much do you love America really, Brucie? I say go fight the Poles!

  9. Gabe, this is very insensitive. Bruce Willis had to cancel his appointment with the contractor who was gonna look at his pool house, and that guy is just the best pool house contractor in Beverly Hills, and you have to book him like three months in advance, so I guess I’m saying everyone sacrificed alot, yknow?
    Happy Veteran’s Day everybody from the Pool House Contractor’s Union of America

  10. Very noble of him to appear at an event sponsored by a vodka company he schills for. Never forget.

  11. “show me who to fight and I’ll go fight,” I’m pretty sure there is a raging war in Afghanistan right now.

  12. You gotta admit though, it was still pretty badass when he ran through all that broken glass in his bare feet.

  13. My granddad is a WWII veteran! He lied about his age and joined the Navy at 15. He likes internet card games, racy romance novels, and emailing sliiiightly racist jokes. He does not like talking about The War. He speaks in a mostly unintelligible Southeast Texas mumble, but when you can understand him he’s pretty funny.

  14. “no harmonica solo? fuck this…”

    – john mccain, former presidential candidate, decorated veteran, mouth-harp enthusiast

  15. Several of my cousins are overseas in Iraq/Afghanistan. It helps to remember that these folks are humans over there, especially when they send e-mails boiling down to “IT’S MOTHERFUCKING SANDY OUT HERE! IT’S HOT! THIS SUCKS! OH, MISS EVERYONE AT HOME, LOTS OF LOVE!” Here’s to my cousins, my grandparents, great uncles, and to any of yours who have served/are serving. Shot of vodka?

  16. As he is a veteran of the Spanish-American War, I can see why Gabe takes such offense.

  17. Look who’s toasting

  18. Go to bed, war.

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