Photos
Nerve.com asked the Double Rainbow Guy to provide its readers with some sex advice as part of their on-going series of celebrity guest sex advisers, and as you can see, he’s very very good at giving you advice about sex:
Q: What do you think about having sex outdoors? What would sex under a double rainbow be like?
A: I think it would be amazing! I’ve never done it, but I think it would be incredible. I probably could do it, because I find them a lot. I go to places with waterfalls and stuff — but I usually go alone. I hadn’t thought of it, but now that you bring it up, I think I’m going to try it. I could probably make that happen.Q: Yes, you need to have sex under a double rainbow and tell us what it’s like.
A: Yeah, that’s a good idea. I think now that you put it into my head I’m actually going to do that.
Haha. Wait a second! Double Rainbow Guy, you’re supposed to be GIVING sex advice, not RECEIVING sex advice. Oh brother. It’s so weird how the Double Rainbow Guy is not ENTIRELY CLEAR on how to give sex advice. So weird. Almost too weird, really.
To be fair, its not entirely his fault. Like, another question he is asked is “I read that you use cage fighting as a way to exercise. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Do you still do that?” I’m not a professional sex adviceologist, but I am pretty sure that is not a question about a sex or dating-related problem. (Or is it? Perhaps I am doing sex wrong!)
Double Rainbow Guy gives it his all, though, as Double Rainbow Guy does with everything. My favorite response (question NOT important) is probably: “Well, you know, I tie my beard up into braids, so, you know, maybe that’s one thing he can do.” Haha. Gross yikes yuck yikes. BE SAFE OUT THERE, YOU GUYS. PUT ON TWO CONDOMS SOMETIMES, JUST IN CASE. (Via BuzzFeed.)
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When I first saw that picture, I thought this was some new LOST thread. Or, ya know, some shit to do with Weezer.
To be fair, he does get excited about things that go “all the way”.
Nice.
But afterwards you’re just going to have to have the “what does it mean?” conversation. Ugh.
Followed by 20 minutes of hysterical sobbing. No thank you.
But come on, it’s so intense!
You say put on two condoms, but does this mean one for each rainbow, or two on each? Do I need four condoms?
One step at a time. First, you need a girlfriend. (Kidding!)
“I’m seein’ double! Eight condoms!“
Obligatory:
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!
It means, we may be going to Broadway.
How does a guy who can pose like that not know how to give sex advice?
best-case scenario, his advice is “always have a video camera handy.” worst-case scenario: this.
“So, I found this place called ‘Under the Rainbow’ and I went in and asked the bartender if they had two that went all the way. It wasn’t what I expected, but I had a very nice time.”
I’m waiting for the Double Rainbow/Eyes Wide Shut mashup, personally.
I really, really cannot wait for the Colleen Thomas edition of this column.
Lady in the streets but a lizard person in the sheets?
I call shenanigans on that “lady” part.
I call Pleadian on her “lady part.”
If you don’t cagefight exercise to get ready for sex, I’m not sure you understood the moral of The History of Violence.
I like how his sex advice is basically the scene in Ghostbusters with Rick Moranis possessed by that dog creature:
Interviewer: “Would you like some sex?”
Double Rainbow Guy: “Would I?”
Interviewer: “Yes. Have some.”
Double Rainbow Guy: “Yes. Have some.”
I’m pretty sure that cage fighting part counts as a sex question.
There is NOTHING sexual about a little ground and pound or a rear naked choke!
Ripped from the TWSS Archives
Yeah. I mean all you’re trying to do is taking a guy down, preferably with a slam, get into full mount, and if he tries to hip escape, take his back and rear naked him into submission.
Cage fighting: When imagining men touching just isn’t enough
jumbo tv screens playing cage fighting is the only reason why i sometimes agree to go to sports bars. i suspect that i’m getting something very, very different out of it than most viewers, though.
Probably not.
I can’t wait for the porno version! Overweight Cage Sex To The Death: Double Penetration All The Way
yikes sorry
I think I speak for all of us when I say, “Finally!”
I actually took initiative and emailed Double Rainbow Guy a bunch of sex questions a few months ago. He never got back to me.
Have you ever had sex while jumping a shark?
I just saw “Double Rainbow” and only signed in to share THIS:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/60616590/double-rainbow-birthday-or
Be cause if nothing else, we Monsters love when the internet leaks. (TWSS)
Were all the actual celebrities busy?
They tried asking Kanye, but he just went into a diatribe about how he’s everyone’s Kama Sutra and everyone’s chastity belt and that he’s leading the the new sexual revolution and what have you. They just needed a cut-straight-to-the-point interviewee, hence Double Rainbow Guy.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?*
*seriously, what does it mean?
I thought I had an idea that might explain it, but nope
he promised to be an advice dom top and turns out to be a bottom. did you find him on craigslist?
Double Rainbow guy would probably cry during sex, and nobody wants that.
“Whoa. Double penetration all the way”
Horatio Sans is looking good!
He’s actually looking so much better than this these days. He’s lost a significant amount of weight.
I, for one, know that the question IS important. And that is excellent advice. Braids make everything exponentially more sexy.
Okay. Let’s stop using inception to convince fat guys to have sex in the woods. It was funny at first, but this is out of control. This is people’s lives we are ruining here. And lunches. My lunches to be exact.
I think the key thing to take away from this is:
He sees double rainbows ON A REGULAR BASIS?
It… it seemed so special.
OH MY GOD A VAGINA