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OK, Hollywood is just fucking with us at this point. Either that, or someone has spiked the cocaine with Brawndo. From What’sPlaying:
Hearing this week that CAA has snapped up ‘Rubik’s Cube’ – yes, Rubik’s Cube – as a client. Nice pay day for the Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture, Ernő Rubik, who invented it. Why the interest in managing a multi-colored block of plastic? Well, it’s the next big movie star…. or so President Richard Lovett believes.
The agency packagers are talking with various studios and producers about structuring a film around the brain-teasing contraption. one suggestion is a film revolving around some sort of Rubik’s Cube competition, but personally, I’d much rather see a film where a desperate Hollywood exec is sucked inside one and has to, from the inside out, match the correct colors to one another.
In a world, indeed. Maybe we owe Entourage an apology. Maybe it’s really like that out there. It’s starting to seem like it might actually be like that. Just kidding. No apologies for Entourage. GO TO BED, ENTOURAGE! (Thanks for the tip, Stephen.)
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Starring CUBEa Gooding Jr.
You’ll have to square it with his agent first.
Something something hexahedron.
“It’s a TRAPAZOID!” –Adm. Akbar.
Co starring former white house chief of staff RAHMbus Emmanuel
Not to kill a joke, but Cuba Gooding, Jr. has an agent??
Yeah, it’s Tom Cruise, silly
Show me the upvotes!
If they can get SQUARE Danes in the lead female role, this this will be a BLOCKbuster.
Euclid, but she might be good in the role.
What about Ice Cube?
Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in Quadrilateral Damage.
This might be a good movie if the can figure out all the right angles.
#Geometrygum
Exclusive screencap
Did you know that Will Smith solving a Rubik’s Cube is one of my favorite things?
Didn’t they already make this movie?
Three of them, even!
rhomBUSTED!
I think it would be cool (READ: NOT COOL) if each side of the cube was a different actor, and the main character is on a mission to connect with each side in order to solve the puzzle. Hugh Jackman would be perfect for the yellow side, because pee.
To stay true to the source, most of us won’t finish this movie.
In a few years, to show off, people will watch this movie with their eyes closed and as quickly as possible.
I plan on seeing this movie through to the point that one of its sides is complete but the other five are all still jumbled. Next I will pretend that I have BASICALLY seen the whole movie and congratulate myself with a cookie or some candy.
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i said GOOD DAY SIR!
Don’t knock Rubik’s Cube’s movie-star abilities. Look at his past work: Dude, Where’s My Car?, Pursuit of Happyness, Wall-E…
Let the Right One In… Rubik Cube finally caught a break and got itself a manager!
I’m Still Here – Successful husband and father chances upon discarded and unsolved Rubik’s cube amongst old paperwork in the attic and confronted by tormenting flashbacks.
William Morris Endeavor immediately retaliated by signing Simon, Connect Four, and Silly Putty.
Will no one pick up Old Maid??
The Rubik’s Cube movie supports segregation.
The porno version of this will feature an Asian cast and will only last 24 seconds.
Goddamnit, this is clearly favoritism towards geometrical shapes with corners! When do the spheres get their day?! Oh, wait.
Cool story, Bro.
Now I’m gonna go make a sandwich.
P.s. Yes, I’m in charge of craft services during production of this movie.
No fair: that sandwich is unsolvable!
My colon concurs.
New Party Game- Board Game Movies?
In Wes Anderson’s Pictionary a struggling artist played by Jason Schwartzman has to become a caricature artist
In Steven Spielberg’s Sorry, an ex-Nazi released from prison goes door-to-door to Holocaust survivors.
Hungry Hungry Hippos, Documentary, narrated by Morgon Freeman, tells the story of the fight for survival for Africa’s majestic river-dwellers.
This Ain’t Battleship XXX: Five hot sailors on shore-leave have to guess where the right place to shoot their rockets might be.
In Tim Burton’s Candy Land, the…
You know, that’s probably good enough.
Tim Burton’s Candyland will probably be a real movie in a few years.
In Danny Boyle’s Operation, one man must surgically remove his own organs in 127 hours without any numbing agents or anesthetics.
In a desperate race against time, a brilliant ex-spy (Russel Crowe) must find out who’s telling the truth and who’s lying about a crucial word definition in Michael Mann’s “Balderdash!”
Lars Von Trier’s Taboo: A young woman is unable to communicate with those most dear to her. She is followed by a strange man with a buzzer.
oops…. mine’s kinda different tho.
Connect Four: a secret agent, played by Matt Damon, is given his first clue about a mysterious cabal of religious leaders and politicians plotting to destroy the world. Will he connect all four clues in time? Or will it all come crashing down around him?
The big question about the Connect Four movie – will Matt Damon’s sneaky sister ruin everything?
Two cousins carry on a dangerous love affair, communicating only in oblique code words to hide their love from those around them in Taboo.
In Wes Anderson’s delightful Monopoly, two brothers are at odds when they try to buy up all the property their father once owned, in the hopes of restoring his legacy. But things fall to chance when they meet a young gamine named Go who just won’t let them pass her by.
In Jonathan Lynn’s Clue, six strangers are gathered together in a house to… Oh, wait.
Operation: A peek into the life of The Hills star Heidi something.
Ouija Board: A young boy raised in a conservative home (Huckabeast) is grounded for playing a game with his friends.
In Christopher Nolan’s Scrabble, each player must decipher their past by putting clues in the right order. Also, they are probably widows.
Yaughtzee: Disney-PIXAR. A young passenger ship dreams of growing up and bringing rich people to their vacation homes in th eGreek Islands. Haley Joel Osmont. Hank Azaria.
In Eli Roth’s Candyland, three young coeds find a seemingly idyllic land of sugar and sweets, only to fall victim to a flesh eating virus.
RISK: In what was Michael Douglass’ final performance, his Gordon Gecko character returns to really think through the pros and cons of each trade before investing.
Adam Sandler’s Cooties: A family friendly comedy adaptation of Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis”
In Guess Who, Mark Wahlberg must be the eyes of a murder witness who was blinded by a murderer on the loose in Grand Central station.
Ingmar Bergman directs Liv Ullmann as she is pursued across the stark Swedish landscape, haunted by an ex-love. Trivial Pursuit is a brooding meditation on the nature of loss and death. In theatres January, 2012.
Girl Talk – A group of high-schoolers dare each other to do humiliating things amongst themselves and the boys they like, but their game spirals out of control after a “dare” reveals more “truth” than they imagined. From the mind of Diablo Cody.
Scattegories: Alex Trebek drops his index cards with the names of the categories he was about to read and they scatter all over the place.
Mousetrap: Roman Polanski directs. The setting is the director’s baseme—-
nevermind i’m not going to do it.
In Judd Apatow’s Ants in Pants, middle aged man who lives in childhood home with mother and 200 ant farms meets his rival and high school crush at big insect convention.
Werner Herzog’s Upwords. Because I think “wernerherzog” would be worth a ton of points in upwords.
Who’s pumped for the sequel?
Who thinks that the reboot loss everything that was great about the original?
I don’t know, for me the appeal of the original came from its heft. Perfect for throwing at sisters. This one looks like it would serve the same purpose nicely.
You were a cube-thrower, eh? I always thought a Go-bot to the eye did more damage, but i like where you’re coming from.
I liked the flat surfaces of the cube. You want to minimize any marks that can be used later for tattling.
There’s always these Hollywood trends where similar movies start coming out around the same time, so I’m still going to hold out for Kid With Bumble Ball in his Pants: The Movie.
“I’m next!” – this guy
If he says so, I guess.
Looking forward to the Samuel L Jackson cameo when this little number shows up:
“I have HAD it with these nope nope done sorry
Cameo in Transformers 3?
go to bed, CAA
drama beats john stamos in a rubik’s cube competition to get him to co-star in his new pilot. later the guys drink on a rooftop. (cue that jane’s addiction song)
movie can be about a family riding out a hurricane in their basement and solving a rubik’s cube together to pass the time. wait a minute…
Topwise
my main finger?
I’m guessing this will be another heavy, emotionally manipulative and contrived ensemble drama along the lines of Crash or Babel, except that there will be a superimposition of a Rubik’s Cube being solved over the course of the entire movie.
i was hoping for more of an action comedy cop buddy flick where a rubik’s cube and a bop-it partner up to take down a dangerous criminal.
That would be wacky! Everyone knows Bop-Its solve crimes like this, while Rubik`s Cubes solve crimes like this.
they come from different worlds, but now they’ll have to find a way to work together!
Just snarfed my coffee on that one, thanks jerk.
Hopefully we’ll see it being solved in those really fast cuts like what’s his name used in Requiem for a Dream.
You hear about this? So, uh, people are asking why CAA is interested in managing a multi-colored block of plastic. I say, hey, leave Nicole Kidman alone! -Leno’s monologue tonight
Shouldn’t Jay’s out of touch monologues be just getting to the actual Rubik Cube at this point?
I am not convinced that Nicole Kidman meets the criteria to be considered “multi-colored.”
Michael Bay will make a robot out of it and it will change the life of a bullied teenager on the verge of suicide. A rap scene will be included.