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Relationships come and go. It’s often impossible to pinpoint exactly where things went wrong. But ultimately it comes down to a lack of desire to make things work. No one is perfect, every couple has to work through their differences, and up until now, you just haven’t really felt like it. Not that you’d ever say that to one of your exes, but if you’re going to be absolutely honest with yourself it all boils down to a simple lack of interest. Excuse me, BOILED. Past tense. Because the day you met Colleen Thomas was the day that everything changed. You can still remember the first time she started talking about the pleiadians manipulations of Nibiru. The two of you were sitting across from each other at a California Pizza Kitchen in the shopping mall’s northwest corridor. “Have you ever wondered why we don’t have a winter anymore and the days are just getting warmer and warmer?” she asked. You tilted your head a little to the side. I mean, sure, you knew that the weather had gotten less predictable, and that the winters did seem milder than you remembered them being as a child, and certainly the summers had been breaking heat records, but it wasn’t exactly right to say that we didn’t have winters anymore and that the days kept getting hotter? Like, it’s not hotter in the winter than it is in the summer and then hotter still in the spring. She did not notice the puzzled look on your face, because she was too busy explaining the EMP the pleiadians were going to detonate if Obama traveled overseas, and reminding you that everyone who died in the 2004 tsunami were actually taken prisoner by aliens, which is why no bodies were ever found, and that is when you knew that you would do whatever it took to keep her by your side forever. You felt, for the very first time in your life, like an adult.
“I think we can all agree that in addition to her ideas and the things that she says, her hairline is ALSO very normal.” – You
(Thanks for the tip, Ben.)
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It’s bad enough that she stole my grandmother’s couch, did she have to make a shirt out of it, too?
Of course she has a Thomas Kinkade.
That’s your home decor.
Painter of Light, Painter of Truth. Haven’t you seen the secret messages about the Pleiadians and the Draconians and the Reptilians in those “cheery” “Christmas” scenes? That’s the REAL reason behind the FBI investigation in the mid-’00s.
It’s her taste in art that made me fall in love with her.
I love her, but this is for the best:
I really want to know the context of this gif, because its quite possibly the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
Has anybody called her yet, pretending to be a member of the press? Record the conversation please?
K thx!
YES! Let’s nominate Monsters we think would be best for the job.
My official nomination is Facetaco.
I nominate Just Desserts, this would earn him that VG internship. IMO
I AM a member of the press, in the absolute loosest since of the word. I’ll do it!
“Member of the press” like your face was pressed in a quesadilla maker before the toppings were added?
Do I look like a Quesadillaface to you? That would just be ridiculous. Come on!
I believe the proper term is: “faceadilla.” Just sayin’
This looks like a job for Winwood.
where’s joe mande? this is is job. T14TT.
It was @facetaco at first sight for me and my girlfriend. Once we gazed into each other’s eyes, consequences were never the same. #TwitterVGCrossover
Will Gabe be at your wedding? Surely he will make a toast.
Oh man, that was the BEST part of this weekend. probablyshouldgetalifegum
Fart joke and/or pee joke #TwitterVGCrossover
You guys, what if she’s right?
Well, for our sake, I hope she’s not left.
That was gauche.
Well it makes for a pretty effective dating profile video (worked on me)
“She gets it.” – Dennis and Evi Quaid
Wait. RANDY Quaid.
“Sorry, Dennis.” – Superglue
“Give me back my copy of Innerspace, Superglue.” — Dennis Quaid
How can I thumbs up this infinity?
As a Draconian , I’m highly offended by this.
How do you think the Syrians feel?
As a Hermionian, I support her policies.
As a Reptilian, I will make sure her delicious human meant goes for sixty lizardbucks per pound on the black market.
By the way, “human meant” is the most delicious cut of human meat. The rest of her will go for thirty lizardbucks per pound.
Don’t forget, the palm meat is a delicacy and can go for much more…i mean…so i’m told…
The Sumatrans, victims of a vicious HAARP tsunami, currently housed in Bilderberg-financed FEMA camps, called to voice their concern.
As a human being I will barf in her face.
As a Wookie, hrraaaaaggggghrrrr.
Does she have a workout video, too?
no, but this video is even better than the original post…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hvtOEHKJsI
YAY!!! More crazy!
Listen, I’m sitting here on the East Coast and it’s the 8th of November and, as far as I can see, nothing has happe….. [> ATDT1,443,#######]… [> NO CARRIER]
Strange when I recall the time when I first saw it, bright and clean-cut, hard, and silent, under the dawn of that last great day.
i’m sorry, am i hearing her right? the evil reptilians were just observers, but now that she’s said something they’re going to attack? so this is her fault? thanks girlfriend! 2012 came early!
November 6, the day I finally had an excuse to pull out my metal blanket of some kind.
Wait the Pleiadians have perfected HARP Technology!?!?! Just as the prophecy foretold….dear god…
Is it just a coincidence that noted harpist shrieker Joanna Newsom sings about “the Pleiades loosed in December”!? Is it a coincidence that Joanna Newsom almost anagrams to NO JEW MASONS!?
I don’t think so….you may be on to something here.
My girlfriend is very confused, as she’s a lady in the sheets but a freak absolutely everywhere else.
She’s pretty crazy…
“I’d still hit it.” — Your Boyfriend
Dont know what you guys saying, but I want to live in this woman’s world.
UFOs, teleportation and Reptilians!
Maybe there are lightsabers and hoverboards!
and Kuato!
WAKE UP SHEEPLE! Why did YOU think the pope wore red shoes??
He has to do something with all that blood of the innocent lying around.
BOOM!!!, The Pope.
This is basically the plot behind V, right? Man I miss LOST.
This is so interesting. It’s like religion for schizophrenics.
It just explains why bad things happen. It’s boring to say all the wars and natural disasters and diseases happen because of myriad interactions and blind luck; there’s no way you can fight with that, it’s totally overpowering. But if all these bad things happen because they are planned by an evil race of aliens, then it isn’t insuperable, because as long as you’re ‘spreading the word’ and ‘fighting against’ the aliens, you aren’t helpless.
Whatever gets you through the day, lady.
We should all be so lucky as to create a conspracy theory/religion that makes us happy?
You know, when is this two party, Draconian/Reptilian galactic power struggle going to end? It’s all the same, you know?
And you thought it was just a coincidence that “Barack” is an anagram of “Ackbar”!
#nerdgum
So wait, I’m sorry, which Senate seat did she win last week?
“I’m not a Reptillian. I’m you.”
“Ooooooooooh. THAT’S why the pope wears red shoes!”
– me
Are you sure your girlfriend isn’t just watching too much X-Files?
Well then she would be my x-girlfriend!
I think you all should leave my girlfriend alone. Even though she;s completely misguided.
And I mean, we can ignore the fact that she separates the dracons from the reptilians, because, yes, they are phsyically different, but psychically and spiritually they are dark entities stuck in lower dimensional overtones. Their inability to rise forces them to instigate the negativity and ugliness through their field manipulation weapons (HAARP) and then they feed off of the negative energy created in reaction to the waves bombarding the populace.
My girlfriend’s smart, but she’s not smart enough to know that the plaeadians are good but they aren’t going to be what saves us. It’s going to be the ascended masters that are needed to take down the meat markets.
Look, my girlfriend is dumb, but she puts out, so shut up.
(I just felt like posting that again, it seems to sum up my thoughts of her very well)
I just busted a gut.
This has easily become my favorite gif ever. It’s impossible not to laugh at it!
I ate at the California Pizza Kitchen yesterday. It was yummy.
What…. This goes on for almost 8 minutes? No. Nope. Sorry. I have some Rock Band I could be playing. Or I could just stare off into space. Either way, more productive use of my time.
Ok, so, I know this is our girlfriend, but is there any chance we could take a collective Gentleman’s Intermission?
(Fun Fact: Literally the moment I heard that term on 30 Rock, my first thought was “I am so looking forward to the next time Videogum talks about our girlfriend so that I can use this term.” I’m sort of surprised no one beat me to it.)
Also, wtf Ben, you get 1 out of every 3 tips now it seems like
Hey guys back-off… who DOESN’T talk like this when they’re drunk?
I highly recommend reading the youtube comments…mm, sane and rational as ever. Perhaps even MORE so. A sample:
“look .. no offense ..but you claim to be the mother of every living thing ..and another guy on facebook claims to be amon ra and his wife .. coming back..saying completely the opposite things of what you say ..william cock is saying that he is also amon ra 100 other people claiming to be the ” reincarnation ” of archangel michael ..you know what this is really .. bad
you people are talking a legit cause and turning it into a joke ..”
Team Uriel! Spirit of Beauty, Godess of Love.
Lauren Graham should play her in the movie version of whatever this is
Ben, I left chat last night because of this. I don’t want to see it again in my feed.
“I am the spirit of the mother of everything in this galaxy.”
Just thought that it should be put down in writing that an adult was video-recorded saying that completely seriously so that it could be posted on the Internet for the world to see.
As someone who regularly listens to Coast to Coast AM, I can attest that lizardmen believers are at the bottom of the ladder. And that’s below Hollow Earth specialists.
Colleen Thomas’ protest sign reads “Tea Partiers = Marxists!”
Seriously, I never thought I’d wish for someone to just be a regular old anti-Obama crazyface.
I love the shit out of your wall art. Let’s fuck like grownups
-me (aka your boyfriend)
In support of her claim of being the mother of every living thing, she did point at her vagina like a gazillion times
Good God, it must look like a war zone down there.
The Banality of YIKES!
“This is why the Pope wears red shoes and sits on a throne with an upside down cross…”
At this point, I really needed to take a moment to remember who I was and where I was at in this great big world of ours because HOLY SHIT I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, Colleen Thomas?!?!?!
also this:
Don’t you see? If you take the first letters from the middle names of the president, and European prime ministers what does it spell? R.e.p.t.i.l.e J.e.w.s. Case cracked.
Wow, her tits are divan. I mean, divine.
Did anyone else notice that she called them “errorplanes”? I think she should fly her errorplane directly into the Purification Volcano on Failure Island.
I kinda want to tempt her just to see what happens.
Is there an Earth shake, rattle and roll that I have seen before?
The viral marketing campaign for Skyline has gotten really strange…
Okay, which one of you rented the swimsuit video for $10.99?
It’s a good job she’s using sign language, because I would have NO IDEA what she was talking about.
That is the best dressed crazy hobo I’ve ever seen.
Vidiogum.com
Can someone please explain to me why nobody has commented on her wig? I think it’s one that Kim Zolciak was throwing away.
OK, Gabe said something about her hairline. Read much Foxy J? It’s not even real hair though!
There’s a post-invasion party at your girlfriend’s house:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74lVrwA8K5g
Monster meet up time?
i know it’s only Monday, but if she isn’t the topic of this week’s You Can Make It Up i will be so disappointed. or are our digital communication grids going to be out by that time? I started drifting a little bit halfway through the video.
This story has been covered up until now because the Draconians and the Reptilians run the media!
From watching this shit….I’m I the only one that is reminded of Space Ghost?
More like Brak’s Mom from The Brak Show.
Isn’t she a Fox News correspondent?
Interesting platform, Tea Party.
After listening to all 7minutes, 46 seconds of this, I have come to the conclusion that this person may or may not be somewhat delusional.
Whew, sorry I’m late to the blog party, gang! That EMP knocked out my Macbook a couple of days ago; SOMEbody forgot to place it on the ground and wrap it in a metal blanket. I’m looking at YOU, reptilian invaders…
$20 says she’s from California.
I personally think it is rude that she drank an entire box of wine and didn’t even call me to let me know that she’d be late for dinner. What a shitty girlfriend.
I like when me and my girlfriend go for long vacations cross-state in the car and I get to listen to this shit for hours.