Glee S02 E05 - Main

[Gabe Liedman is a stand-up comedian, and one half of the Gabe and Jenny comedy team with Jenny Slate. But at the top of that resume it states that he is Videogum's Official Expert on this season of Glee.]

Trick or Treat, assholes! So, on a show like Glee, when every episode has a goofy theme, a Halloween episode doesn’t exactly stand out the way it does on a normal show for people with fully formed brains. That said, Rocky Horror Picture Show was a very fitting theme to choose, and fun enough to watch. Of course, I would’ve preferred a Sweeney Todd episode where Brittany the Perfect slits everyone else’s throats, or a Phantom of the Opera episode where Naked Sam screams from behind the walls to Kurt, wearing ONLY the mask. But, amazingly, no one asked me to write a Halloween Glee, although I know you bitches read this shit and I cannot even express how much free time I have on my hands to move to LA and begin farting into your communal Vuitton script bag. So, Rocky Horror it was, totally fine, not my fav (by a long shot), but not the worst either. Also: TOPLESS FINN!

The episode starts out with Santana’s little red lips singing “Science Fiction/Double Feature” on a black background. Full disclosure: I’m not a huge Rocky Horror head. I get it, and I “appreciate” it, but it doesn’t hold for me the same cult meaning it does for many people like me (asshole people). I didn’t go to the sing-alongs, I didn’t don the outfits. The Craft was my Rocky Horror, along with Clueless and Empire Records (“what’s with today today?” I’d scream, dressed like a normal teenager, in a basement, with some fugly girl-neighbor). But, “Science Fiction/Double Feature” is kind of my jam, and it comes up a lot when I put my Zune on shuffle (I only have 2 songs). Santana did a fine job, even though I DEF thought it was Quinn (semi-compliment).

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Then we jump right into a fully staged dress rehearsal of Rocky Horror with all the Gleetards in campy ’70′s bordello drag. Rachel (as Janet) and Finn (as Brad) are rehearsing “(There’s A Light) Over At The Frankenstein Place.” It actually sounds GREAT, but the Gleetards get interrupted by Hot Uncle Jesse Carl, dressed in head-to- toe black leather (so you DID get my emails). He’s pissed as shit at Schue for breaking their Emma-no-try-to-fuck pact. Naughty Schue.

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Cut to X-amount-of-time earlier, Schue and Emma are lunching in the teachers’ lounge, when he notices she hasn’t surgically removed the crusts from her Purell and ice cubes sandwich. Then she goes on and on about how Hot Uncle Jesse Carl took her to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at a grimy downtown movie theater (there’s a downtown in Glee, OH?), and she didn’t even mind being the in same room as all the disgusting outcasts and their contagious personalities. Holy Streisand—the insane shrew is fix’ t! Schue doesn’t like one ounce of this happiness, so he pretends that the Glee Club has already chosen Rocky Horror Picture Show as their big Fall musical, what an INCREDIBLE coinciGlee! Even Emma’s not buying that shit, but her cleanliness demons are like “neato.”

Then it’s Gleehearsal time — Brittany the Perfect is going to be a peanut allergy for Halloween <3. Schue tells all the Gleetards that they’re gonna do Rocky Horror Picture Show for their Fall musical, and most people are totally into that idea. Mike volunteers to play Frankenfurter, after Kurt turns it down (YESSSSS—but where are they gonna find a totally see-through corset and just the outlines of panties?). Finn’s gonna play Brad, but he’s a little scared to wear just his undies on stage (buck up, kiddo, at least it’s not last season, am I right? (Finn got skiiiinny this season (I preferred him last season (hi Finn!!!!)))).

Sue’s back on the local news with her “Sue s Corner” plot-device segment, which is usually ground zero for hilarity and quotability. Not so much this week. She thinks that America has lost the true meaning of Halloween — fear. Meh. Then, the new heads of the network, played by Meatloaf and Barry Bostwick from the original Rocky Horror Picture Show, tell her they heard McKinley High was putting on Rocky Horror and that she should totes do an exposé on how disgusting that is.

The Gleetards are bizzy Gleehearsing “ Dammit Janet,” which is NOT my fav, but I’ll be fucked (yeah right) if Finn isn’t killing it this season with his vocals. I don’t care what software is used to correct shit, to me it sounds like he’s singing perfectly, and with a lot more gusto than before. Also, him all dressed in a khaki windbreaker and giant Gabe Liedman glasses makes me swoon like a Shakespeare character on poppers (YES, I’ M THE ONLY HUMAN WITH GIANT GLASSES, LOOK IT UP).

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Sue interrupts the number to say she wants to be a part of the production, she’ ll play the Criminologist, but she’ s gonna have to make some rewrites (snore).

Finally, it’s time for a workout-based <3 to <3 between Sam, Finn, and Artie. Over iron-pumps, the boys discuss how internet pornography has leveled the playing field for girls to objectify boys, and now they’re all concerned about their bodies the way only girls should be? GROSS, shut up, that’ s a nuts thing to say to your mostly-teen, mostly-female audience.

Schue asks Emma to make the costumes for the show, and she is thrilled. Then Mike has to step down from playing Frankenfurter because his parents won’ t let him do a disgusting drag number. FUCKINGASSHOLES.

Sue’s plan to ruin everyone’s happiness apparently doesn’t end with her secret exposé for the local news. When she learns that Emma and Hot Uncle Jesse Carl are super into Rocky Horror, she convinces Hot Uncle Jesse Carl to audition for the cast. You know, because sexy local dentists ALWAYS join school clubs for kids (at schools they probably didn’t even go to).

For his audition, Hot Uncle Jesse Carl screams “Whatever Happened to Saturday Night,” the Meatloaf number (I thought it was called “Hot Patootie/Bless My Soul” ?). I couldn’t give the turtle head of a shit about this song, though I love me some Meatloaf NODOY, so let’s just say John Stamos is hot when he screams it:

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Hot Uncle Jesse Carl gets cast as Eddie, even though Schue does NOT like it. Then Mercedes volunteers to play Frankenfurter — anything to get a starring role, for fuck’s sake. Part of me cringed right out of my skin when this shit got set up, but then we get to see Mercedes’s performance of “ Sweet Transvestite” right away and DOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOY it’s so fucking good. She’s so far ahead of anyone else in a 10 million mile radius of Glee in terms of talent and charisma, it makey no-sense. I’m positive that I write this every time Mercedes screams on screen, but the fact that she does not scream every note of every song on this entire show is an appalling weirdness that I supposed we’ll all just have to accept. Kinda like how it’s October 27th, and it’s 75 degrees out right now in New York City. Fuck. YES:

Then Hot Uncle Jesse Carl drives his motorcycle through the wall of the set waaay too early and Schue is PISSED. For revenge, he decides to join the children-only production of Rocky Horror himself, and show Hot Uncle Jesse Carl how it’s fucking DONE. Schue talks Naked Sam out of playing Rocky, which is surprisingly easy (Naked Sam learned how to say “ yes, sir” loooong ago). Schue tells Emma the retarded great news, and the two of them have a private Gleehearsal of their own to the tune of “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me,” with Emma all-too-willingly playing the part of Horny Susan Sarandon.

The number is incredibly sexualized, Emma ripping Schue’s shirt off his LOVELY torso, and dragging him around a classroom by his tie. It was … quite nice.

Naked Sam and Finn have another workout <3 to <3 where Naked Sam shows off his body a ton. Finn is inspired to embrace his own sexiness a little bit (everyone does it except Christine O’ Donnell). Somewhat confident, and looking for a thrill, Finn decides to walk down McKinley’s (only?) hallway wearing nothing but his white boxer shorts. After so much talk of Finn’ s imperfect, shame-worthy midsection, I was a little annoyed by his display of 11 defined abs and no-hair droopless boyboobs. But, still, NO-SHIRT FINN:

Finn almost gets suspended for this outlandish display of fine-looking flesh, but then he doesn’t. Cool couple scenes! The Sue’s minion Becky comes Trick or Treating at Schue’s office for her Take Back The Night club, or something. Rape! Down’s Syndrome! Glee! She spills the beans to Schue about Sue’s secret exposé plan from a thousand hours ago. Schue’s like “how could she?!” or something, blah blah blah.

Schue confronts Sue about the exposé nonsense, and then the two weirdly come to an agreement that Schue was forcing children into public displays of sexuality for all the wrong reasons. He decides that the true meaning of Rocky Horror’s cult success isn’t that audiences need their envelopes pushed around, it’s that outcasts need weirdo bullshit to watch and scream along to in the dark with cheap makeup on. So he cancels the production altogether, and decides that the Gleetards should just do Rocky Horror by themselves, in an empty auditorium, while only he watches. SO UNBELIEVABLY WEIRD I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. They scream “Time Warp,” duh, with Artie on lead:

They did a good job with the song, whatever.

This episode was fine, surely. I’d say, even, that “Sweet Transvestite” is one of the best Gleeformances we’ve seen in the whole series so far. ONE OF. But, Schue and Emma’s crap is not my fav sub “plot” going on right now (what are they exactly, anyway? (SHUT UP, INFORMATION-QUEER)), and I don’t know how on-board I am with them just coming out and calling Naked Sam hot-n-sexy all the time. I liked it a lot better when he was just randomly naked and soapy in every scene. No-shirt Schue and No-shirt Finn on the other hand? VERY COOL.

Also: were Sue’s writers on vacation or some shit this episode? My notes (YES I TAKE NOTES ON Glee) are usually filled with paragraph-long quotes of hilarious perfection, but at the end of this episode it was all “plot” points and musical “numbers.” Bad job, but babygrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl u know all will be 4given by next Tuesday night. JUSTDON’TFUCKITUP. Oh, and should I address the whole sexual GQ spread that had all the Hasslebecks of the world applying another layer of Ecru Martha Stewart paint to their sex-entrances? Nah: those old-enough bitches looked beautiful in their underpants. Wake me up when Tina and Becky grace the cover of Muff Monthly, and even then I won’t give two moral shits.

Comments (61)
  1. Mr. Schue: Hey, Emma, can you help me rehearse this song? I really need to get my one line down by tomorrow.

  2. Come on ‘Glee’ just do an Ian Dury episode already.

    • I’ve been holding out for a Fleetwood Mac episode FOREVER.

      • “All Radiohead …. That’d be sick.” – Mark Salling, on his dream GLEE episode
        (via Perez Hilton)

        • I love listening to the radio
          -90% of Glee’s audience

          • I definitely thought it was weird when they busted out the Burt Bacharach episode last year. I guess maybe they were just throwing a token out to the mid-40s “Great mix of the ’80s, ’90s and Today” radio audience?

            I also think they could stand to do a Beach Boys episode. Maybe Rachel could have a mental breakdown in the middle and go off to live alone on an island for 25 years?

  3. Did Finn out himself as a Never-Nude? Wearing his shirt in the shower sounds like it to me.

  4. Also, I’m getting super tired of Schuester deciding it’s totally a-OK for him to steal kids’ roles. First there was Toxic, and now he’s taking Naked Sam’s role in Rocky Horror? Because it is inappropriate for high schoolers to dance around in gold spandex panties on stage? But it’s ok for their teachers to? I mean, gross. Amiright?

  5. I’m going to answer the door this year, after the kids say treak or treat, I’m just going to yell, “Trick or Treat assholes!”

  6. Bad things. Very bad things. So when did Glee just become a long string of “This is our _____ episode of Glee!” Some of them have even been really good episodes, but it’s getting old.

    “This is our Britney Spears episode of Glee!”
    “This is our clueless religion episode of that manages to be offensive to almost everyone episode of Glee!”
    “This is our bullying episode that is almost completely devoid of anything related to bullying episode of Glee!”
    “This is our ‘Rocky Horror Sucksmyballs Picture Show’ episode of Glee!”

    How about this… “Here’s our Glee episode of Glee!” where the characters deal with serious issues in a silly fashion that’s entertaining. How about that? Like most of the episodes from last season and the first episode of this season?

    Also, Mr. Schue is turning into a creepy, manipulative boy-version of Rachel, but I guess that’s okay since US Weekly told me the two of them already banged each other. Also also, “Rocky…” isn’t so bad it’s good, it’s just bad because it’s trying too hard that way. So bad it’s good comes from inept people trying and failing miserably at something and we get to laugh at their expense like in “Superman 3″ and “the Room”. Trying too hard to make something that’s so bad it’s good gives us garbage like “Rocky…” and “The House That Drips Blood on Alex”.

  7. I DID enjoy Mercedes’ rendition of Sweet Transvestite, but overall, NOT IMPRESSED. What really bugged me was the editing. We can show Sam in form-fitting gold shorts, but we have to edit out the lyric “heavy petting”? Mike can talk about wearing drag, but we can’t call it “transsexual Transylvania”? DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T NOTICE, GLEE?!

    That having been said, the biggest mistake of the night was the cameos. If you have a show about singing, and you have Meatloaf on there, he’d better be firing his Chekov’s gun right out of his mouth by the end of the episode. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVES me some Uncle Jesse, but YOU DO NOT HAVE A MUSICAL AND MEATLOAF WITHOUT HAVING A MEATLOAF MUSICAL, GLEE!

    • They also edited the line about “seat wetting” into something along the lines of “great fretting.”

      You’re absolutely right; the show is filth-flarn-filth. Every episode is panty-shots, naked man-flesh, and talking about how sweet lady-kisses are a nice break from scissoring, but a lyrical reference to vaginal moisture/the wet spot is just going too god-damn far?

    • i think they changed the transsexual line because mercedes is a lady.

  8. If we don’t get a ‘Jessie and the Rippers’ song before Stamos leaves, I’m gonna be really pissed.

  9. I was way more interested in prettypretty Sam and his insane body issues than dumb old Finn and his boring “I’m afraid of showing my body in public SURPRISE I’m hot under my clothes!” plot. We can see behind your glasses, Finn Leigh Cook.

    I much prefer to hear about all the crazy things Sam does to keep himself in that shape. Let’s talk about that instead of stupid internet porn and “only girls should be ogled.”

  10. Newsflash: This show sucks.

    And the remake of the original movie is going to suck too. Can someone please off Ryan Murphy? Thanks.

    • well of course the show sucks. that’s not the point at all. the point is mike chang.

      • A minor character who is only used as a way for two of the “real” main characters to get together. He’s basically a prop.

        This show is offensive on many levels. Just because it’s “fun” doesn’t make it a good show, in any sense of the word.

  11. I hope Santana doesn’t cheat on Brittany with John Stamos, also there was so much Brittany dancing and you can never have too much of that

  12. I love how last season they had to have a total grudge match sing-off to see who’d have the honor of not-singing “Defying Gravity” at sectionals (remember how good they were at not singing that? Good use of rehearsal time.), but last night they cast a full-on school musical by just volunteering for their parts, because realism.

    We’re all glad Shue learned a valuable lesson about how it’s wrong to use the glee kids to perform whatever the hell he’s into at the moment for no coherent reason, but when is Ryan Murphy going to learn the same thing? Ya burnt.

  13. I love how Quinn was like the Rocky Horror expert. I mean, c’mon. Let’s be real, Glee. You know if this was real-life, the head cheerleader would be like, “WTF is Rocky Horror?” Amiright?!

    Also, I wish I could be there when millions of ill-prepared children across this great nation of ours inevitably sit down to watch the movie this weekend after being inspired by Glee. Their shocked little faces will be priceless.

    • I cracked up when Mercedes said that the theme of the show comes from the lyric “don’t dream it – be it’, because that scene comes from an orgy in a swimming pool. I can’t wait for kids to watch the original “Rocky Horror” to look for that inspirational message. Yikes.

      • That’s exactly what I was thinking… those lines repeated over and over again as everyone rubs against each other underwater and their drag makeup runs everywhere… and that’s even one of the final scenes, so by that point the kiddies will have weathered Dr. Frankenfurter sexing both Brad and Janet, the brutal murder / consumption of Eddie, Rocky’s package, EVERYTHING about Riff Raff…… oh my god.

    • I was thinking that last night. Seriously what 13 year-old is going to rent Rocky Horror and be like “wow that was exactly like Glee.”

      They might make it through the first 20 minutes unscathed.

    • Inner monologue of a teenager watching Rocky for the first time:

      Well, I guess it’s like Glee, they have singing and dancing and stuff. Is that guy Franken… Frankenfu… Frankensteinenfurter from a city in Transylvania called Transsexual or are there just a lot of transsexuals there? Is he supposed to be a transsexual? He doesn’t look anything like the bitchy girl from Real World: Brooklyn if that’s what he’s supposed to be. And I thought you were supposed to say “transgendered” now? Geeze, people in the 1950s were insensitive. And boring. Whatever, I’ll just watch Pretty Little Liars on DVR.

  14. Totes thought Santana was Quinn at the beginning, too.

  15. peanut allergy was the BEST line ever.

    also loved sue’s pumpkin.

    i hate rocky horror, but this episode wasn’t so bad. or maybe glee just has lowered my standards enough (see religious one, and that other shitty one) so that rocky horror looks ok.

  16. I think having Finn cast as Brad has to be one of the best uses of the character so far. He nailed “Damnit, Janet” for me. Those glasses are a good look for him.

    I think overall I was disappointed because I was kind of expecting a lot more “Rocky Horror” out of a “Rocky Horror” episode. I thought the writers would be doing some sort of parallel with the plot, or a few more winks towards the original show or cast. Santana and Brittany spying on Schuester and Emma during “Toucha-Toucha Touch Me” was more what I had in mind – they were actually playing Magenta and Columbia in the school play as well as referencing the original movie. Instead we got a shoehorned-in homage to that scene where everyone’s yelling each other’s names. If this is what Ryan Murphy thinks of “Rocky Horror”, I’m not looking forward to his movie remake. Although it would be fun to imagine who he would cast in each role. Who is today’s Barry Bostwick?

    • Finn killed it as Brad. Even his ‘Creature of the Night’ line worked.

      I really liked this episode. Glee is on a little streak now. I’m sure they’ll ruin it by bringing back Terri’s fake pregnancy or something.

      • I think Finn would work better as a Brad-type character anyway. He’s already kind of wooden, but not really in a quirky, likable way. He was the best part of this episode, for me.

        • You nailed it by describing Finn as “wooden, but not really in a quirky, liable way”. It feels like Cory Monteith is trying to play him as this super-awkward, bewildered teenager, which is why I never fully bought the “football super-stud” aspect of his personality. Most of the jocks I knew in high school were way more loud, self-confident , and goofy than Finn seems to be.

    • Finn in the glasses and the nerd hair was TOTALLY doing it for me.

  17. As a Glee related aside, I am dressing as Sue for Halloween. I will admit that I too feel better than everyone around me when I put on that red tracksuit.

    • That is a seriously awesome idea. I’d love to do that, though I might have to be on stilts. Jane Lynch has at least a foot on me… so I guess on second thought, I wouldn’t make a very menacing Sue Sylvester.

  18. I have to admit this to everyone: I’ve never seen an episode of Glee, and I rarely read the recaps. But, I read this recap, and upon reading about the “Touch-a touch-a” scene, i went to hulu and skipped right to it. I am now a fan of glee. Have I been missing other amazing moments with emma (i’m pretty sure i have)?

  19. I thought this episode was ok. There have been better, but there have certainly been worse. And Mercedes obviously killed it. I REALLY wanted to see Hot Asian dancing around as Frank-n-Furter, but I guess I’ll always have my dreams.

    But here’s my real question: Why is the glee club putting on a musical? Remember last season when Rachel left Glee club to go audition for Cabaret? The drama club’s production of Cabaret? You all remember it because she sang “Maybe This Time” with Kristen Chenowith. So, there’s a drama club that does musicals. but now glee club is having a fall musical like it’s a thing? Have I forgotten something? I’m willing to suspend my disbelief for lots of things, Glee, and I’m really good at it, but please give me some continuity!

    • And another thing!

      Was Mr. Schue planning on having Rachel sing “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a” to him in the show? Didn’t we already cover inappropriate student/teacher relations last season? Get it together, Glee!

      P.S. That first picture makes me really uncomfortable.

  20. The Finn/body image “plot” line actually made me kinda angry. I mean, it’s great to acknowledge that boys have body image issues, too, but they act as though this is a very October 2010 problem, when it’s not exactly new (haven’t all teenagers (male and female) always been insecure about their bodies? ever since chain mail became so form-fitting).
    And it’s definitely not due to internet porn, Artie. Teen girls watching porn on the internet (also, what?) has resulted in raised standards for the male physique?? Unbelievable. If anything, straight person porn will give the girls worse complexes about THEMSELVES (not to mention confusing messages about female sexuality, etc etc womensstudiesgum). Unless it’s boy-on-boy, porn doesn’t often focus on the man enough that the (teen???) girls watching it are nodding calmly and thinking “yeah, what I’m taking away from this is that my next boyfriend should look like that orange hulking man-beast, ’cause I totally want to be the bored-looking girl on the business end of his mechanical thrusting.” That weirdo explanation was so outrageous I could hardly believe it. (Then again, if Mercedes’s takeaway from the orgy scene in RHPS was “don’t dream it, be it,” then there are clearly no rules about what the teenage girls in Glee, OH are learning from their pornographic entertainment.)

    And Finn walking down the hallway in boxers is supposed to be shocking? We’ve seen him shirtless before — wasn’t he “discovered” when PedoWill heard him singing in the shower at school? (seriously, PedoWill!!!) He was not wearing a shirt then.

    And Rachel reinforces Finn’s insecurity by saying that he has a “different body shape”… um… how so, exactly? As Gabe L mentions, he’s pretty well-built for someone who everyone says is “fat” or whatever. Ridiculous. And Rachel “doesn’t look like Santana” but Finn likes her anyway, I guess to point out that people can look “different” but still be hot? Sure, if everyone is a size 0.5 but has vaguely different facial features and hair color, I guess we’ll find them acceptable. I hated that scene so much.

    And furthermore! Finn gets away with the boxer thing because Shue points out to Principal Figgins that the cheerleaders have worn less. How is that okay? Instead of being like, “hey maybe ALL our *high school students* shouldn’t go around in just their underwear” they’re all “oh, you’re right, the girls are always so slutty and there’s a double standard for how not-slutty we expect the boys to be, so nudity and exploitation for everyone! Thongs know no gender discrimination.”
    (Then again, PedoWill bringing up an instance of scantily-clad teenage cheerleaders as a debate point seems about right for his character.)

    Yiiiiiiikes.

  21. Things that made my life awkward: This Glee episode. Things that made my life super awkward: watching this Glee episode with that cute guy who drives me to school when his mother walks in and starts singing along to every song. Including Sweet Transvestite. Things that made my life ultra, nerdy, Michael Cera awkward: Coming into class the next day to see the preppy field hockey Student Council Vice-President singing ‘Toucha-Toucha-Touch me’ under her breath. Thanks, Glee

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