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LADIES! Sex and the City 2 came out on DVD and Blu Ray today. Of course, you already knew that. Because of your VAGINA. Obviously you already have your copy, which you pre-ordered on opening night after getting home from the theater at two in the morning (opening night meaning the Thursday midnight screening. Is there anything here that is unclear?) and today is the big day! The eVites went out months ago for all your best GAL PALS to come over and watch. (“The best part is that we can finally PAUSE the movie when we need to pee, which women have to do all the time!” Etc.) But just in case you have forgotten any last minute provisions, here are the MUST HAVES that you will DEFINITELY need:
- • COSMOS!!!!!!
• A bunch of shoes, or something
• Deep-seated self-loathing
• CHOCOLATE!!!!!
• This weird form of inverted homophobia where you refer to gay people as “my gays” not realizing that that’s kind of gross and weirdly offensive
• Industrial grade insecurity
• The irrational and desperate belief that a man will somehow “fix” things, which you can’t shake even though you might, as a modern woman, know it is a lie
• A blind eye towards racist jokes about Muslims
OK! You’re all set, girls. Time to cut loose. ACK! ACK!
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Sex And The City 2? That’s what that is?! I saw the picture on the cover and just assumed it was Old Dogs.
What did dogs ever do to you, Facetaco?
More like Old Bitches.
#nailedit
More like Glee, pre-Reincarnation
Srsly. #1 on Gabe’s list should be PHOTOSHOP.
I *really* can’t stand the Sex and the City phenomenon. It’s unhealthy, exploitative, and dim-witted. So I was kind of disappointed to find the first comment on this post a little sexist.
It is sexist to humorously compare the appearance of ugly, increasingly middle-aged female movie stars to ugly, increasingly middle-aged male movie stars? This is a new definition of sexist that I have not encountered before.
You’re proposing that discrediting an actresses work by calling her ugly is not sexist? You’re telling me there’s nothing sexist about dismissing an actresses performance because of her age?
I will take you at your word and believe that this is a new definition you haven’t been exposed to and I will explain that sexism is any attitude that promotes stereotypes of social roles based on gender. For example, determining a woman’s worth based on how attractive/youthful she is.
I can see how the DVD cover of Sex And the City 2 could conjure up the cover of Wild Hogs (the movie staring Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy). Instead, the comment pointedly compares the cover to OLD DOGS (staring John Travolta and Robin Williams).
Let’s assume the commenter confused the movies (they DO seem like the same movie). I’m still uncomfortable calling women Wild Hogs. It seems so….porn-ish and derogatory.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to discuss someone’s looks. I like having those discussions.There’s so much to hate about Sex and the City. Let’s not be shallow and write it off based on looks.
No, there isn’t anything sexist about dismissing an actress’s performance because of her age. Ageist, sure. But I didn’t say anything that would apply to one sex more than another. If The Expendables had come out on DVD today, I could have made the exact same comment. Would you have called that sexist?
That unnecessary defense having been made…RELAX. This is the internet in general, and a snarky pop culture blog in particular. “Shallow” comments are quite appropriate in this context.
Well, discrediting an actress’s work based on her appearance in a context where one would not make the same discrediting judgment for a male actor would indeed be sexist. But you’re projecting about 90% of that implication onto facetaco’s original comment, based on… nothing I can see.
Maybe it is based on the fact that mainstream culture is often sexist, so we sometimes become trained to look for the subtle potential of sexism in otherwise innocuous things. That is very fair and understandable. But especially on a place as awesome as videogum, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Believe it or not dismissing an actress’s performance because of her age IS sexist. As I said earlier sexism is any attitude that promotes stereotypes of social roles based on gender. One stereotype, a stereotype you are perpetuating, is that the younger a woman is, the better.
Also this: “That unnecessary defense having been made…RELAX”
I mean I get that…it’s the easiest, fastest way to debate a point on the Internet. It makes *me* look like I’m an uptight, reactionary zealot. Meanwhile, you come off like the cool, disaffected one. Very ‘chill.’ It’s an especially effective tactic to employ when you have a weak defense.
And make no mistake your defense IS weak. Your reasoning: “I wasn’t discriminating based on gender I was being discriminating based on AGE. Besides *shrug* it’s just the dumb Internet whatevs” lacks credibility. Not to mention being kind of insulting to Gabe. It’s easy justify posting shallow comments on a “snarky pop culture blog” but Gabe routinely writes about homophobia, racism, bigotry and a host of social ills.
But here’s the thing, if you REALLY didn’t care you wouldn’t have responded. Saying, (essentially), I don’t care only shows how much you do.
It’s like that ex boyfriend/girlfriend who calls you to tell you that he’s never going to call again. There is no old saying that goes, “if something is unnecessary to defend, you should DEFINITELY defend it.”
*lest you think I’m entirely humorless, telling me to ‘RELAX,’ in all caps like that, did make me LOL
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I’ve enjoyed this back-and-forth. You’re funny and bright and I appreciate you as a member of the monster community. I crafted my comments in carefully, hoping you wouldn’t feel personally attacked. It seems I have failed:
“[b]ut okay, you really insist on calling me sexist?”
I avoided calling you a sexist and opted instead to call your comment sexist. I’m embarrassed to admit but I selected passive phrases like “KIND OF disappointed” and “A LITTLE sexist” in an effort to minimize my irritation. I didn’t want to come off like an irate crusader. I’m sorry if you felt attacked and I apologize.
as for this: “I never said I don’t care.”
I know. Which is why I used the parenthetical “essentially.” You responded that your comment was appropriate because it’s just “the internet in general, and a snarky pop culture blog in particular.” Defending your words was “unnecessary” but you acquiesced and told me I needed to “RELAX.” This was flippant and it seemed you wanted to be perceived as not caring.
I do agree with one of your points. You are 100% right about not mentioning gender in the comment: “Sex And The City 2? That’s what that is?! I saw the picture on the cover and just assumed it was Old Dogs.” There is ZERO mention of gender in that comment. But you didn’t really even have to mention it did you? The picture you refer to is OF FOUR WOMEN. Gender is implied.
As for this:
In fact, there WAS a movie called Old Dogs…men…same age…consider that to be sexist?
I’m aware of this movie. I brought it up 2 days ago in this very thread. And, yes, I do consider the movie Old Dogs, sexist.
Or do you think this reasoning of yours only applies to women?
I don’t. No.
that is saying..a standard that applies to one…doesn’t…to the other…the definition of sexism.
It’s actually NOT sexist to apply one standard for men, and another for women. Weird right? I know! There are plenty of un-sexist examples of standards for men being different than for women. For instance, the army has different fitness requirements for men and women. But I think I know what you’re trying to say.
Is it sexist to call someone old, no matter what their gender is?
I don’t think so, no. Some people are old and describing them that way is simply fact. I get the feeling that you so too which means we agree. Context plays an important role in my consideration because I try really hard to be rational and fair.
At what point does reference to someone’s age begin to have anything to do with their sex?
Again it would depend on the context.
Is the movie Grumpy Old Men sexist against men?
Still, context.
Or are you just a little off target with this whole thing?
Not even a little bit. Not at all.
SEXISM IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
swoon
I already saw this when it was that TV show…Golden Girls.
I would gladly take all their lives in trade for the Golden Girls to be resurrected, with a 1UP for Betty White.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt-ovJJB7t4
There was a Robot Chicken thing about that
Lookin for that check!
I believe I quote Huckabeast when I say: I believe in God but this video does make atheism seem awfully appealing.
It also makes Chastity and the Country seem appealing. This is turning into a very emotional day.
You forgot yogurt! We LOVE yogurt!
This is actually a reaction shot from her viewing of Sex and the City 2.
Actually, if you’re a college-age girl you’ll need a few extra things:
- Dried flowers hanging upside down on a wall for some reason
- A poster that says “Dance like no ones watching”
- Plan B
Haaaa! I totally had the dried flowers in high school and then one day I was like hmm, these look like crap, smell horrible, may be responsible for a complex new insect habitat in my bedroom, and keep shedding dried brown petals all over the place. Not the pinnacle of home decor I originally thought them to be.
Also, plenty of pictures of you and your bffs smushing faces and holding solo cups.
Yogurt that makes us poop!
I love pooping!!
Oh, you just pooped, didn’t you?
alice from the L word! (no lesbo.)
Ladies, if you haven’t seen Target Women with Sarah Haskins, I highly suggest you become addicted like I did:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMRDLCR8vAE&feature=related
One thousand upvotes for Sarah Haskins! Anyone know what she’s up to now?
I think she’s having a baby! (I hope it’s not creepy that I know this, I was Googling her to find out why the Target Women series ended and it popped up on a blog or something)
Hard to say what is creepy or not in the internet age. But it wouuld explain her ten-month silence on such pressing matters as this DVD release. Looking forward to her return to performing, if indeed that is what she wants to do now.
I’ll bring some plastic surgery coupons!
No need, my surgeon is coming to give us all discount Botox!
Ooooh! Can we play games after? I have the PERFECT ONE!!
is this like dream phone mixed with girl talk? how have i never played this?!
OH NO! I just realised I used to own this game. I think this is responsible for the extra 3 years it took me to get a boyfriend.
I still own it! This is why I’m single.
Ooohhhh noooooo! I owned this as well (*shameface*). I really can’t believe we used to play this, for real. We put sticker zits ON OUR FACES. Why? WHYYYYYY???
Do you girls want to watch my Oprah 25 year anniversary DVD box set afterwards and cry?
DON’T FORGET TO DVR THE DANCING WITH THE STARS RESULTS SHOW!
UGH I’ll have to get my husband to figure out that recorder thingie, but thanks for reminding me jwormyk!
or my kids! right, my 12 year-old?! Every time I try to record Grey’s Anatomy, it’s just blinking at me 12:00, 12:00, 12:00. and my kid’s not even a teenager. and my kid totally knows how to set the recorder thingy! and i’m old!
Sex toy party!!!! Am I right, ladies?
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Although I understand why folks would downvote a comment implying that plastic surgery is necessary for ugly people (it isn’t – people are people and should just be ok with that), she does look like a horse. I don’t think she should get plastic surgery to change that, I just think we all need to accept that she looks like a horse and move on with our lives.
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But then I read this one and it made me
. Calling her a whore? Really? Yuck! What am I going to do with you Starman!?
Starman this made me LOL! You’re right. Facts are facts. And the facts are these: from certain angles, girlfriend’s face DOES have a certain equine quality. And I think everyone is as bored as you are when someone mentions it anymore. I’m like, “So? And?” I’m so happy we agree.
NNNnnnNNNNnnNNNnnnNNNN!
Gabe you forgot to mention that we will definitely need:
-A karaoke machine so we can all sing “I am Woman” which all women know the words to.
-Our Laptops or iphones so we can all blog about how perfect our lives our and how our lives relate to shopping.
- A razor blade
- A warm bath
What generation are you from? All ladies these days default karaoke to “I Will Survive.”
Who’s up for pre-show MANI PEDIS!? SQEEEE!*
*barf
Has anyone seen ALL OF THE PILLS? I need them right now.
Samantha took them. You know Samantha. She’s sooooooo baaaaaayuuuuuuuud!
My reply to that….
True story: after this movie came out, someone (and it might have been someone on VGum) called it Puns and Shoes 2.
Anyway, I told this to Mrs. Wrong, a longtime SATC fan and it was like a veil had been lifted from her eyes. She can’t watch the show or movies now. Once she realized the truth, it ruined the show for her.
Sorry, Kristen Davis. Your evil works here no more.
Gabe has managed to bash Kristen Davis movies two days in a row. Keep it up Gabe!
she’s pretty
I’d rather not think about Sex And The City 2 on Videogum. Since this is my escapist entertainment, I’ll just sit back and think of the good times.
Fuck.
Seriously, I think she’s pretty too
See her reaction to this statement above.
yeah nice mouth action
You have to give them credit, though. They DO manage to keep finding shoes that look more leathery than they do. That’s not easy to do.
Don’t forget your long list of sexual indiscretions!
That is such a Samantha thing to say.
Obviously, those babies aren’t praying enough.
Can have a slumber party afterwards?!
? Why did her jeans jeans combust like that, or do I not want to know?
Put it this way: my drunk college roommate once wasted all my Zippo’s lighter fluid trying to do what they did right there.
Pretty sure they were trying to light a fart. Every slumber party I had ended in a trip to the burn unit of the hospital.
Yikes. I thought only teenage boys did that. #sexiststereotypesrebutted
Get it guys? Re-Butt-Ed?
I have a bottle of Glen Livett left over from the Mad Men party, I believe I’ll need all of it tonight
Jeez, dad, they’re not called my “gays” their my “accessories“.
WHAT’S UP WITH MY FAMOUS BROTHER:
Since playing the role of “HANDSOMEST CELLIST” in “Sex and the City 2″, my brother has gone on to portray “HANDSOMEST CELLIST” in an HBO miniseries and, more recently, in a Taylor Swift video they were shooting in Central Park.
Favorite Quote pertaining to Sex and the City:
“Ahh, Hi Miranda!” ” Oh, I’m Samantha, I have sex with… EVERYONE.”
Thank you Jason Segel.
I seriously don’t know how I would laugh every day if it wasn’t for Videogum. What would I do? Look at webcomics? Nice try, but it’s no longer March 2008, weirdo.
my favorite “web comic” (graphic novel? LOL!) of the moment right now is the Vivian Vagicorn on blogspot. rad web comic
So is the centipede/dog thing with the beak and the curly parenthetical antenna supposed to be Vivian Vagicorn? If so, this one’s about Vivian Vagicorn getting hit in the head with a throwing star, right?
And in this one he/she/it is a hooker in Whitechapel getting stabbed by Jack the Ripper?
As Dana Carvey as Johnny Carson would say, “That, that is some weird, wild stuff.”
your interpretation of the second strip is wrong, the vivian vagicorn thing is hiding from top hat man, pretending to be one of those upright structure things next to it
Aha, I see. I thought those upright structure things (I’m guessing they’re streetlamps) were other hookers. Your version is makes more sense, and it’s definitely funnier. “Jack the Ripper just STABBED someone! LOL!”
my boyfriend Juan Williams and I are going to watch this. I’m going to be sure to hold his hand when he gets nervous.
And I hope Rick Sanchez will sit behind you and give you some reach around love action, while Lou Dobbs tries to decide if he will walk in front of you ass to face or crotch to face, sweating bullets he laments, “WHY DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE!!??”
A couple of months ago, my wife and I had this conversation:
She: Me and the girls are gonna go see Sex and the City 2 tomorrow.
Me: Really? I dunno, I don’t think you guys’ll be able to laugh at this one; it looks so bad. Are you guys at least going to drink a bunch of “margatinis” from Applebee’s again?
She: It’ll be fine, we’re just going to sneak in some champagne and whiskey.
Me: Well, good luck…
Anyway, my only point is that it’s really hard living with a spouse that has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Deep-seated self-loathing? Here I thought it was ‘deep-seeded’. You learn something new every day. Thanks Videogum!
No, I’m with you cakeordeath. Isn’t it seeded? Like it’s planted deep down. Deep seated doesn’t make as much sense to me…
I learned this one from The West Wing. It’s deep-seated as in firmly set. Thank you CJ Cregg!
I’ll never forget seeing Finding Nemo and shouting “CJ!” when the starfish started talking.
It’s ok, that’s not as bad as confusing “Throwing caution to the wind” with “throwing kosh into the wind.”
What the heck is ‘kosh’?
I also used to say “illusions of grandeur” until I learned it was “delusions of grandeur.”
It’s how cool people say kosher, ie I can’t eat that lobster roll I’m kosh
True story–my friend went through 28 years of his life wondering what kosh was and why everyone was throwing it into the wind.
For all intensive purposes, I think it’s all the same.
“Intensive” purposes?
Whoops! Talk about a joke going over my head.
Yeah, don’t feel too bad. Until I was 25 I thought the two usable phrases were “brass taxes” and “rich as creases.” I remember trying to explain to a friend that the latter made sense as one would need money to be able to pleat one’s pants.
Hope I don’t teach your children!
I had a friend who has been ordering “Roman Cokes” for years now. We finally broke the news to him that it was a rum and coke.
…or is it???
BOOM. #figuresofspeechgum
Do you know who watches this shit? My boss….thats right….. my associate’s degree toting boss making twice as much money as me watches this shit…and loves it…..do you know how depressing that is….working for someone who respects SATC for its artistic merits….ITS ARTISTIC MERITS…..do you…..no…you don’t….only i know this pain….
Do you work at the ellipses factory?
If so, you should probably stop stealing all those samples. The boss’ll find out, and it’ll just be Mr. Big not showing up for the wedding all over again.
(Kids, don’t press submit comment accidentally before finishing up. You will look like a dick!)
you sadmalandar.
It bothers me that the name order at the top of dvd doesn’t match match the order of the animated corpses*.
*(get it?! they’re OLD and DEAD!)
I was just about to comment on this! It’s like Cynthia Nixon is too unimportant to put anywhere but the end of the name order, but too unfortunate looking to place on the outside of the group of ladies and risk her being noticed.
And while on the subject of the terrible DVD cover, is it incredibly disturbing to anyone else that Nixon’s left leg is in between Sarah Jessica Parker’s legs and, despite the fact that Nixon is behind Parker, her left foot is positioned slightly AHEAD of Parker’s? Trying to figure out that cover is my nightmare-jail.
I keep expecting Joshua Gordon Levitt to push some dude in a suit off of Cynthia Nixon’s leg and yell, PARADOX!
These viewing parties are going to take a depressing turn after the alternate ending in which Samantha dies of alcohol poisoning.
wouldnt it be rad if David Cronenberg did the next sex and the city movie, and for like the first two thirds or so its just like a normal sex and the city movie and then towards the last 20 minutes all sorts of gross Cronenbergy kind of bio sex gore shit starts happening to them? I’d be all like, “rad movie, bro”
Hi, Fucking Chris Trash here. Steve, did you read Blood Meridian? If so, will you be commentating over at Bookgum? I Hear Anampat is looking for writers and I for one would like to hear Steve’s Rad Book review.
I didnt have a chance to read blood meridian but I read Arkansas by John Brandon. Rad book. Trying to read woodwards book on obama but it is more like SNOREwards book on Zzzzzzzbama
my original reply comment is awaiting moderation so let me re-phrase in a fashion that will not get stuck in moderator land: No I did not have a chance to read the blood meridian booklet. I read John Brandon’s Arkansas instead, a rad little crime fiction book.
From Cosmos to the Cosmos
Don’t forget to bring a notepad so you can jot down your very own convoluted ploy to liberate the women of the Middle East! OMG SHOES AND RICH MEN!*
*a little piece of my heart died typing that. I’m gonna go read @birdiepup now…
I somehow got so drunk in a movie theater that I ended up catching the last ten minutes of this. I almost quit drinking for good after that.
My little sister, god bless her heart, had a SATC (even writing it in acronym makes me angry) themed bridal shower in Palm Springs. From the pictures it looks like they used Homer Simpson’s makeup gun to apply their faces.
Also, unrelated – do women have shoe fetishes the way men have foot fetishes? Like just the sight of them makes them aroused?
I’m my own gay.
“No Honey, you may not use the Playstation 3 to watch this.” – Me if I had a wife, a Playstation 3, and balls.
I would bet a lot of money that Cronenberg could only produce a film far less demeaning to women than anything associated with this rediculous franchise. To my SATC 2 Party, I am bringing Cronenberg’s Crash, as well as the Crash of WMOAT fame.
Sorry this was intended as a reply to Mr. Winwood’s imagined proposal.