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This looks terrible! (As if there is some other kind of reaction to a Mean Suvari vehicle, no offense to Mena Suvari, but come on, Mena Suvari.) It’s like Rochelle, Rochelle minus the Minsk. My favorite part, though, is taking how much they reference that this is based on a masterpiece by Ernest Hemingway, and then trying to AltaVista Babelfish what I’m seeing back into literature.
The woman applies Manic Panic to her hair and insists that the man do the same. He agrees. Out on the veranda, they sip espressos and admire the Italian tourists. Oh wait, a martini. The woman walks into the ocean wearing a bathing suit that revealed her butt cheeks. Check out her butt cheeks! She’s walking into the water now. Now her butt cheeks are in the water. The brunch is too sexy. Dramatic music swells. You guys want to have a fucking threesome or whut?
Just classic Hemingway come to life. This movie should put a shotgun in its mouth! (In other news: the statute of limitations on “too soon” is 41 years.)
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“Hemingway once wrote ‘The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for’. I used to agree with the second part, but then I saw the trailer for this. Ugh. Hurry up 2012 (± 100).”
~ Frogen Meeman
Proclaimation! Frogen Meeman will now be the name I use to make dinner reservations.
While Oscar Wilde appreciated the importance of being Ernest, Capu Flapu of the spaz pentagrams recognizes the importance of being FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being White is Boring.
I think I prefer Death in the Afternoon.
Or A Farewell to Barf
The Old Man and the Stupid Ass Movie
A Farewell to All That’s Right and Good in the World
Hills Like White People
For Whom the Hip Sters
The Bile Also Rises
The international title was “Fie-Yikes-ta!”
A Forgettable Feast
To Have and Have Yuck
White People of North America
To Have and To Hold (Your Vomit)
Oops, meant To Have and To Hold Your Vomit or To Have and To Have Not Any Dignity
Throw This Movie In A Big Two-Hearted River
The Sun Also Yikeses
The Short, Happy Life of Me (assuming I die before this movie comes out)
In related news Hemingway’s corpse just reanimated itself so he could shoot himself again
A Farewell to Ughs.
Are people really still using the word ‘exotic?’
Are people really still using the word ‘exotic?’
Well, you used it twice topknot, so yes, yes they are.
Oh no! Double post! Sorry everyone! (but thanks principal for making it funny)
The Sun Also Ughs
You gotta admit though, this movie would probably give Hemingway a boner, at the very least. It’s like the version of Garden of Eden that his dick would write.
old man and the see you later.
I think I spot Mena Suvari’s fetish, guys.
“Dear Diary —–F this noize.”
He’s sitting down to write? WHAT A BITCH!
Wait, I thought Hemingway wrote in the nude?
Somewhere out there, in the great endless universe, Gertrude Stein is worried.
What the Faulkner is going on in this movie?
I’d complain, but this kind of crap happens all too Austen
I think its just as Welty we stay in the dark about this.
This whole thing makes me want to hop the next Twain and leave town.
I would have never watched this stupid trailer, but Gabe gave me no Joyce.
He Shaw didn’t.
i don’t know, but i’m about to go to the nearest german beer hall and ask for my stein back.
am i doing this right?
WOOLF, you guys, right?
It’s Orwell and good that they made this movie but I still won’t C. S. Lewis it
DAMN IT I WAS GOING TO MAKE A CS LEWIS REFERENCE JOKE!!!!!!!
Seems you weren’t Swift enough.
Sorry, this is such a Poe pun that I might Mailer in.
This movie can go to Heller.
It must have taken some Bowles to greenlight this picture.
Atwood be an understatement.
Albee sure to give you an upvote for that.
i must be dreaming. someone pynchon me.
Alright, this is getting a little long in the tooth. We should Nabokov.
You’re Wright, but there’s no need to Bellow about it.
For real, guys. It seems Kesey to make jokes like this, but it’s giving me a Dickens of a headache.
Sorry, got to go–my Maughm’s calling me.
We can stop this thread if you want, I don’t give a Kerouac.
Ibsen fun though.
We Didion a good job.
I Hardy got to participate!
Don’t worry, thisismynightmare. You know we’ll do this aGinsberg.
Looks like I’m Hardy to the party
Oops. Sorry, TIMN. I’m so embarrassedwardcullen (OOF!)
Teacherman, I will Meyer your reputation!
I’m going Plath on continuing this.
Hughes better.
Let’s Keats this going.
This has been a good list of authors, but where’s Wallace at?
You guys should be a James of yourselves
Waugh Waugh Waugh, quit yer crying and Lethem do what they will.
You people drive me Wilde
Geez guys, my thumbs-up is killing me! To borrow a phrase; Barkeep, a round of pats-on-the-back for my friends here!
Exec 1: “We’ve signed the rights to Garden of Eden. Get me Gwyneth Paltrow.”
Exec 2: “Unavailable.”
Exec 1: “Then get me the poor man’s Gwyneth Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst!”
Exec 2: “Also unavailable.”
Exec 1: “What about the poor man’s Kirsten Dunst, January Jones!”
Exec 2: “Unavailable as well.”
Exec 1: “Kristen Bell?”
Exec 2: “Nope”
Exec 1: “Kristen Stewart?”
Exec 2: “Uh uh”
Exec 1: “Shannon from ‘LOST’?”
Exec 2: “Booked.”
Exec 1: “Flo the Progressive Insurance Lady?”
Exec 1: “Not interested.”
Exec 1:”Judy Jetson”
Exec 2: “Fictional and also not available.”
Exec 1: “The Mannequin from Mannequin?”
Exec 2: “Kim Cattrall?”
Exec 1: “No, the actual Mannequin.”
Exec 2: “Gig at Macy’s.”
Exec 1: “Who’s left?”
Exec 2: “Mena Suvari and an old mod that we drew a face on.”
Exec 1: “Book the mop!”
Exec 2: “Misspoke. Janitor took it.”
Exec 1: “Then Suvari it is.”
Judy Jetson! Amazing work. Where do you get your ideas?!?!
You guys don’t even want to know why I typed up this little number a few months back, but I do, and it is appropriate to share with you all now.
Wow, calm down, intense trailer music! I’m expecting hundreds of animals and children to come pouring down a hill to defend Narnia in between those shots of idle rich white people looking bored.
An Ugh’s Life
That intense trailer music seems oddly familiar…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azVqekQBK8g (Starting at 1:10. Am I wrong?)
“Everything’s right…until it’s WRONG.”
We’re going to need a bigger Oscar to give the screenwriter.
Too much underbutt for my taste.
*cringe* Good word choice…
I contend that there is no such thing as too much underbutt!
At what point does underbutt just turn into butt?
laggy computer made the underbutt FREEZE on my screen. a joyous NSFW 4pm moment.
Damn it, just when I had forgotten that Mena Suvari existed. THANKS A LOT, GABE.
On reading our reactions to this trailer, Nicholas Sparks pulls the same book from the shelf, “That’s what I write. See, I told you. “
So when did it become okay to make movies where it’s impossible to give two shits about anyone in them?
The Sun Also, with any luck, explodes destroying the human race before this movie is released.
I don’t get how we’re supposed to be fine with that dude’s hair for the rest of the movie.
My favorite thing about Hemmingway was how he always wore identical matching outfits with his girlfriends
*his characters…with their girlfriends…doh
I liked the way you had it the first time.
Once in high school, during my “I should know about Hemingway” phase, I was reading A Farewell to Arms before class started, and the girl who sat in front of me came in and asked what I was reading. I told her, you know, soldier, nurse, Italy, war, and she said, “Oh, so the girl’s name is Arms?”
I didn’t laugh. Not one giggle. Because she had flabbergasted me.
Her and all the other kids would just pay some day laborers to write their essays when there was a Hemingway assignment.
Hemingway as interpreted by Anime illustrators.
I think they really missed the boat by not getting Fabio for the lead. I mean, he was on the original book cover anyway, right?
I think they really missed the boat by not getting Fabio for the lead. I mean, he was on the original book cover, right?
I know it’s a faux pas, but I really love me some sad beautiful rich young white people.
Yikes. I have that hair color and I was thinking about getting Mena Suvari’s character’s haircut. Good thing nobody is going to see this movie; I’d hate to have people think I was inspired by it.
(Yay, first comment on Videogum! And I posted it so late no one will ever read it!)