Photos
[Stephen K has a lifestyle blog and co-authors a fashion advice twitter that never gets updated. In this column, he will tell you how to get the hottest looks of today.]
One of the hottest shows on tv right now is Glee. And, why not? Who wouldn’t want to watch a tv show about young, nubile 20 year olds pretending like they’re high school students, sincerely singing show tunes that are normally relegated to the campiest of piano bars and contemporary dance hits that one usually only hears while trying to cruise a muscled latino power bottom at Barracuda? I know at least 660 people who would! However, not content to infect popular culture with its Autotuned Infectious Dance Scenes, Glee has spread to the lymph nodes of high fashion as well! The cast of Glee (well, the most conventionally attractive and whitest portion of the cast of Glee) has recently shot an editorial with world renowned fashion photographer and celebrated pervert Terry Richardson for Gentleman’s Quarterly magazine. And we’re here to help you achieve your life’s goal of looking like someone who would spend their time singing in a glee club, which apparently is the same as looking like a school girl by day, prostitute by night (and also by day)!
Nothing says high school student interested in musical theater like performing fellatio on a lollipop.
Terry Richardson really brought out the joy and innocence that is high school life from the Jewish one in this photo. That lollipop is the equivalent of Proust’s madeleine, bringing back all of the bittersweet memories of walking down the hallway to your locker wearing nothing but panties and thigh-high socks. To get this totally age appropriate look, we say go big or go home, ladies! And going big in this case means showing some underboob. Over the top cleavage is so last season! Fall 2010 is all about under the top cleavage. Playing off the sportiness of the baseball T on Lea Michele, we found this great Detroit Tigers’ half-tee that will perfectly show off your perky bounty. If you’ve got it, flaunt it! Also, if you don’t have it, please try to get it or otherwise don’t flaunt it. Dress for your body type, that’s what we always say!
For the thigh-high socks, you could go to American Apparel and get the exact same socks, but what fun is that? We love mixing high and low, vintage with designer, Forever 21 with Zara. We’re just eclectic that way! That’s why we think an even chicer option would be these used gym socks on eBay. For the non-disgusting price of just $69.69, you could get a great pair of heavily used gym socks that some woman wore and sweated in! They would make a great conversation piece at any dinner party. People will barely be able to pick up another canape while listening to you describe the fascinating provenance of the gym socks you are for some reason wearing to an adult dinner party.
Now, so as not to leave all my blond ladies out (Ladies!), here’s how to get Dianna Agron’s wholesome cheerleader look! If any lady (by lady, I mean girl) knows how to Bring It On, it’s Dianna Agron. With this fun and flirty look, you’ll have the varsity football player begging your father to let him pin you in no time.
First, you’ll need a demure plaid skirt like the one Dianna is wearing. We think this sexy one from Penney’s is perfect! Worn with grey woolen tights and sensible orthopedic shoes, this maxi skirt will send ALL the right signals to your crush while being able to camouflage any potential menses you may have to help you avoid being a YM ‘Why me?!” The plaid says playful, but the maxi length says, “Hold it right there, buster. My Church youth group comes first.”
Dianna’s chaste ivory sweater transmits that she’s willing to wait to find the perfect guy she wants to spend her life with before giving up her most precious gift and that bstinence-only education really works! This ultra chic ivory cardigan from Talbot’s gives the same message that will keep the boys at bay, while the delicate flower details will constantly remind them what they’re missing (your vagina). Top it off with a dripping pearl necklace, oozing with beads of glimmering opulence, and the only balls your football player beau will care about are his blue ones!
I hope these tips have been helpful. We know what it’s like to be desperate to re-live an idealized recreation of what high school was like via fictional tv characters dressed up for a magazine editorial. We do it every day! But with any luck, time machine and plastic surgery technology will soon allow you to go back in time with a better face and body than the disgusting one you grew up with originally so that you can have the life that you never had that for some reason you are desperately clinging to. Until then, this false-memory-tini is on us!
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Someone needs to drive through the local law office and pick us up a bunch of go to jails. These pictures weird me out.
More so than the actual content of the show GLEE?
I gotta admit, I’m more bothered by Glee.
Major upvote love for the avatar.
I just wish that Bob Guccione could have lived to see this :’(
Wow. Now I know the answer to the question, “Where were you when you found out Bob Guccione died?”
You’re welcome.
It’s 2010. The odds that the parents complaining that their 8-year olds are being exposed to this “Glee filth” have effective porn filters on their home computers that block their kids from stumbling onto bukkake while they google “my favorite milkshake” is about 99%. In other words, the horse has already left the barn. And then a lady fellated the horse, and your kid has already seen it. Panties + lollipop don’t sound so bad all of a sudden.
I’m very confused, but I’m afraid to google what all them words are meaning.
grandpa paladino sent my kids the horse porn. education begins at home…
I upvoted this on the off-chance that it was a reference to The Cider House Rules by John Irving (c.1985)
I still find this show insufferable.
As do I, yet I keep watching. It’s like Gossip Girl all over again.
You know you love Glee. X O X O. – Gossip Girl.
Guess Who Took This Photo:
Jeebus!
It may be the worst show ever but something something tongues… Jeebus!
Holy shit, I’ve never seen scantily-clad adults before!
As a Supreme Court Justice, don’t you live by the creedo “Pornography is hard to define, but I know it when I see it.”
Pornography is hard to define, but I know it when I click on my browser history.
“Pornography is hard to define, but I know it when HR calls me in for a chat.”
And Terry Richardson remains unpopular amongst non-garbagemonsters
Garbage Face will be so sad when he reads this!
In the interest of reading comprehension: Turn that “99%” into a 1%, or add a “don’t” before “have effective porn filters”. Commenter functionality request: How about a 10-minute edit window to fix typos in comments before they’re permanently sealed into the time capsule for future generations to enjoy?
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
The sad thing is I’ve recently started reading men’s style blogs (SAD THING #1) and the sort of exaggerated perkiness seen here is actually considered a completely normal house style throughout that world (SAD THING #2).
Also I am honest to god going to buy one of these bow ties later today:
http://www.brooksbrothers.com/IWCatSectionView.process?IWAction=Load&Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=1078&sortby=§ion_color=§ion_size=
(SAD THING #3) (YAHTZEE)
The only style blog you need to read is the Sartorialist, mostly because its more pictures than words.
Yahtzee is not sad; it is good times for good people and you get to yell YAHTZEE!
Lea Michele looks like she stepped out of a Rob Liefeld comic.
purrrfect
MY EYES! FUCK! MY EYEEEEEEEEEES!!!
cause it isn’t Catwoman, get it?
you don’t get it.
Where are all of her organs?
This just goes to prove that Rob Liefeld has never actually seen a woman in real life.
I’m gonna file this under the JUST SAYIN category.
Maybe the reason why high school is so miserable for most girls because society is telling them this is what sexy high school girls look like, when in all actuality these are ADULTS. You’re still young, you awkward developing teens, YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE THAT.
again. JUST SAYIN
What no that makes no sense, they are on the tee vee
No No, it makes sense. Take it from someone who has been a girl in HS. When they see that as what people consider beautiful, then look at themselves and they don’t look like that, it gives you a complex. It doesn’t matter if its just a tv show or not!
Oh! No, I was agreeing with you, and sort of bemoaning the fact that we, as a society, consider this totally normal.
oh i thought you were disagreeing and i was like WHAA! hah! Sorry bout that! i will now upvote both your comments and some to make up for this misunderstanding!
It gets better
I’m pretty sure the youngest person on the Glee cast is Chris Colfer, and I think he just turned 20.
In general, I’m not a fan of people dressing like hyper-sexualized teenagers because it’s capital C Creepy^n, where “n” is the difference between actual age and a rough definition of “teenager.”
These pictures are almost as bad as watching Glee. Maybe Terry Richardson can take some pictures of Ryan Murphy and then everyone else can get left alone forever. 2gether @last?
I thought this was fun, but that link reminded me of those personality cult ebay sellers, that buy old clothes for nothing, photograph themselves in it and sell it to people with low self esteem for a lot of money. it appearantly only works if you’re a young woman, because nobody wanted my used swim trunks. so what I’m getting at is REVERSE SEXISM.
#whitemanburdengum
I am really hungover.
not true: http://cgi.ebay.com/Mens-BIKE-COMPRESSION-athletic-sport-shorts-S-Small-GYM-/250714530139?pt=US_Men_s_Athletic_Apparel&hash=item3a5fc0215b
that hunk can call me when he gets some bids. j/k he can call me whenever.
As a student of photography and an amateur photographer I’ve been studying different photographers to kick start a creative response from their work that would help me achieve my own personal style or vision and Terry Richardson is one who photographer that came up during my studies and most of the time I can find something to enjoy from even the worst pictures but I did not enjoy any of Mr. Richardson’s pictures. These represent all of his work seeing as he recycles the same motif throughout his photographic oeuvre but its not the repetition of style that puts me off, it’s his degradation of the portrait itself. These pictures work to seal my opinion of him, he has no respect for his subject and his pictures only serve his own purposes. Portraits should work to capture the person, the subject in a real way. In one way it works to show that these people are not seen as people at all but only as actor or puppets but thats the only thing I got from it.
Okay that ends Opiniongum.com… sorry
What do you think of his style in comparison to David LaChapelle’s? I feel like TR takes the shiny veneer, lurid colors, and subjects in exaggerated poses from DLC, but does nothing else with them. It’s just plain old titillation, nothing interesting or artistic at all.
I agree with you on the points you made; It is the same way I feel although There’s no way to compare the two, I may be biased against TR in this comparison. They both capture celebrity personalities but for me DLC has or shows a greater respect for the person in his images or abstract the situation so that the person becomes something completely different. Out the things you listed that TR might have taken from DLC the only one I can see immediately is the shiny veneer, and even then he doesn’t comment on the prepackaged/plastic nature of celebrity culture/art like DLC does with his pictures.
Oops logged in with the wrong one. ^ That’s me.
This is a no win situation.
too soon?
I was eating an apple while laughing at this comment.
Please tell me you somehow figured out to edit your comment, too.
It is never too soon, nor too late, for Kobayashi Maru gifs. It is always the perfect time for them.
My body is betraying me.
i’m a fan of links (and Zeldas) but this article had too many links! Maybe a little less links next time Mister K.
I’m in the opposite camp, for the record.
I would hate it if ALL of VGum was written with a massive amount of links, but I like the use of links in these fashion articles. Clicking a link and reading is NOT HARD AT ALL when compared to other things IRL, and I understand that clicking a link is comparable to walking up a flight of stairs in the internet (you’re with me), but you’re still just clicking a link to get a quick gist or to see a quick image and then you continue with your day.
Also everybody, if you don’t know the hot keys on your browser for opening links in new windows or tabs as well as hot keys for closing windows, I can understand that following links could be like walking up 3 flights of internet stairs, and yes, that is a lot of stairs, so you should probably learn those hot keys, huh?
So when did it become sexy for women (girls) to have waxy, pore-less skin like they’re in decompensated septic shock?
1992. I’ll get you a copy of the memo.
Actually, I just noticed how in a recent Rolling Stone issue (OfficeBathroomReadingGum), Katy Perry has, like, extremely shiny clevage? It actually looks like she’s wearing some sort of breastplate.
It’s this neat tool called Photoshop. Or perhaps it’s Photoshoppe? It might be a silent ‘pe’ at the end…
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.celebritybeautybuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/the-hills-rolling-stone-magazine.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.celebritybeautybuzz.com/index.php/category/heidi-montag/&usg=__tAtzZUh_QQclJGV5QHCJ4KkdNZo=&h=389&w=324&sz=80&hl=en&start=0&sig2=A869ONN5U1MOzOLbC0hzeQ&zoom=1&tbnid=5EQbsD5_ebC5OM:&tbnh=133&tbnw=111&ei=dJLATIOeKYaKlwfTh-DhCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Drolling%2Bstone%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D775%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=249&vpy=89&dur=308&hovh=246&hovw=205&tx=102&ty=162&oei=dJLATIOeKYaKlwfTh-DhCQ&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=37&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0
That’s what she said.
I reallllly love this feature. It’s a little different than most of Videogum’s content yet it feels right at home. And it makes me laugh a whole lot. Please stick around for a considerable length of time, Stephen K.!
As a person who respects his mom and was raised to see all women as daughter, mothers and sisters who deserve to be treated as gender equals with an important role to play in all aspects of our society I’m appalled. Women have contributed to the world many important things including great feats of science and engineering; masterpieces of literature and poetry; an instinct for nurturing and kindness that keeps us from all just blowing everything to shit; and women count amongst some of history’s greatest leaders. Any attempt to reduce their value as human beings to nothing more than objects for man’s sexual desires demeans all of us and shouldn’t be tolerated by an enlightened, progressive society.
But as a straight guy in his 20′s I can’t help the drooling. It’s just automatic. Sorry Mom.
“Terry Richardson really brought out the joy and innocence that is high school life from the Jewish one in this photo. ”
How much more of this? I mean really?
Fact: Lea Michele’s father is Jewish, and her mother is not. She is Italian and Catholic.
Fact: Dianna Agron’s father is Jewish and her mother converted to Judaism. Dianna was raised Jewish, unlike Lea.
So, the “Jewish one” in this photo is Dianna Agron, not Lea Michele. Can’t people do a sliver of research? It takes seconds.
Have you read Tom and Lorenzo’s post on the Glee GQ shoot? It’s spot-on. Seriously, I don’t get how that scumbag Richardson still gets jobs.
Should I feel bad for not being able to take my eyes off Lea next to the locker with the lollipop. I dislike they’re objectifying the actresses this way, yet she looks so sexy, the contradiction is giving me a brain cramp!