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This video is very raw.
Not trying to start any trouble, but that cat is too long. Seriously. It’s too long! Whatever. Don’t get so mad when someone tells you the truth. (Via Urlesque.)
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So…. open cat thread?
I know someone who’s mad about this.
GAH! This tripped me out. I thought my mouse was wonking!
Do we have any proof that this isn’t some sort of robomegacat
This is his snack.
I can haz too?
He says iz not enuf. Sorry.
Man if that were my cat, you can bet it’d be shaved and wearing a hot dog bun dachshund costume at all times.
“Grossest looking hot dog of the year”
- 2011 VMAs
Cat nip’s a helluva drug!
Oh man… if only we still had the ability to have .gif avatars…
Oh, my B, I thought it was “song cat”.
song cat’s number 1 fan:
That cat is so long, when I pet it I have to use a bookmark. — Ghost of Johnny Carson.
Lend me some money – Ed McMahon.
“That cat is so long, the other night I tried to jerk it off, OH!” — Andrew Dice Clay c. 1987
teacherman, have you been watching a lot of Andrew Dice Clay recently? Also, I hope he secretly has a really great personality because this:
Damn, busted. I don’t know why I’ve got ADC on the brain lately! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put on my fingerless leather gloves/70 pounds.
“So this guy walks into an agents office pulls out this extra long cat. I mean HUGE. He takes out the cat. HUGE FUCKING CAT. The cat, the HUGE CAT says ‘Meow’. The HUGE FUCKING CAT just says ‘Meow’. The agent says. He says, ‘THAT HUGE FUCKING CAT’ just said MEOW! WOW! That is a HUGE CAT. What do you call it?” The guy puts the HUGE FUCKING CAT back in the cage and he says, “The Aristocrats!”….Oh, by the way, kids, Stop downloading music illegally.” – gilbert godfrey
apologies. did not intend for this to come above everyone else’s. which are hysterical.
#etiquettegum
That cat is so long, I’m surprised Judd Apatow didn’t direct it.
“That cat is so long, I’m surprised Judd Apatow didn’t direct it.” — Dane Cook
““That cat is so long, I’m surprised Judd Apatow didn’t direct it.” — Dane Cook” — Carlos Mencia
“That cat is so long, I’m surprised Add Jupatow didn’t direct it.” — Nick Madson
“That cat is so f*&%ing long, it even let Ringo sing a few tunes.” – Bill Hicks
“That cat is so f*&%ing long, it even let Ringo sing a few tunes.” – Denis Leary
That cat is so long, I’d better eat the rest of the Pop Tarts.–Paula Poundstone
“The Cat Is Too Damn Long” – Jimmy McMillan
“What is the DEAL with that cat’s length? What am I gonna DO with that much CAT??”–Seinfeld
“Could that cat BE any more long?” — Chandler Bing
“It isn’t that the cat is too long. It’s your idea of the cat that is too short.” — Don Draper
“I had this long cat once, but it got hit by a car.” Cough. Silence. “I have cancer.” –Neil Hamburger.
“I’ve come here on national television tonight to..which camera is on? Oh. I’ve come here to issue a challenge to all the long cats out there that think they are so tough. I will wrestle you and beat you.” –Andy Kaufman.
“Here I come to pet the CAAAAT.”–Kaufman
If you call that cat a “double-wide”…you might be a redneck.–Jeff Foxworthy
“That cat is so long, it might as well be black and inside my vagina. I have sex with a lot of black men.”
- Lisa Lampanelli
“Yep, I’m a long cat!”- Ellen Degeneres
“That cat is so long it is TOO LONG! Get it? You get it. I mean, OOF! DING DONG! Classic long cat.” — Gabe
That cat is longer than the amount of time I’ve been on this planet- Gabe
This cat is longer than the amount of time Obama has been covering up the fact that he is Muslim – Glenn Beck
“That cat is so long that Schrödinger had to hire Skidmore, Owings and Merril just to get tenure.” — Dennis Miller
“That cat is so long that Schrödinger had to hire Skidmore, Owings and Merril just to get tenure.”
- Nick Madson
I have never experienced such shame.
upvotes for shame!
That cat is so long Alec Baldwin could have substituted it in his monologue in Glengarry Glen Ross; “Put. That Cat Down! Cats are for Closers.”
Very long. Very Cat. -Gabe
tl;dp*
*too long;didn’t pet
What I’m sayin’ is, the cat is really long. Like, long, man. If I had a cat that long…I would give it some string to play with.–Mitch Hedburg
(Hits cat with sledgehammer) — Gallagher
“OHHHHH OHHHHH OHHHHH!” –Sam Kinison
(Holds cat up next to a picture of Will Smith’s kid) “Pussy-willow” — Carrot Top
Aw…that cat is longer than my husband. I bet he sleeps on the couch less, too.–Rosanne Barr
“That cat is longer than Chris Claremont’s stint on Uncanny X-Men.” — Patton Oswalt
HA!
(pushes up glasses)
“That cat is so long…no, I am not doing Latka. Fine:
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
He didn’t say any more, but we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought — frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon; for the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.”
– Andy Kaufman
“New Rule, Cats can’t be longer than Obama’s time in office.” — Bill Maher
“Cats are more important than length” – your sympathetic girlfriend
“Day doth daily draw my sorrows stronger, And night doth nightly make cat’s length seem longer” – William Shakespeare
“I don’t want to give you the mistaken impression that the cat was long, but I went through two wives, three therapists and particularly drawn out seder before it was done digesting breakfast.” — Woody Allen
“My cat’s got it rough too, I got a long cat I tellya, a long cat. My cat’s so long it the cat catchers had to ship it in a semi.”
“I’m not much of a man I tell ya. That cat ain’t doin nothin to help me either. The other day my wife said to me, she said, ‘at least one pussy in this house is gettin stretched.’”
–The ghost of Rodney Dangerfiled
This post can’t be upvoted enough.
That is long and important cat – Demetri Martin
That cat’s so long if it was a hot pocket the middle wouldn’t be frozen, it’d be Antarctica. Hoooooot pocket! — Jim Gaffigan
“If it wasnt for my long cat… I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.” – Lewis Black
“Oooh, oooh, it’s a long cat, longer than a black man’s ding-a-ling. It’s Nixon cat: ‘I am not a long cat!’ We have the Long Cat Nixon Tapes, hit play: ‘Meeeeoooooooowwwwww.’ It’s a long meow for a long cat. Arnold Longcatzenegger: ‘I’ll be cat. It’s not a toomah!’” — Robin Williams
This was spot on, Fozzy. It’s fun to try and say it aloud with the voices and everything, like I AM Robin Williams.
You ARE Robin Williams. We all are.
In the evening they lofted it up as a barleysock might be lofted and measured all day upon that slate grimalkin and could not determine its ultimate length no matter what tallystick it was that was brought to calculate it though one brought with him to that place tools that had been pillaged off a dying Masonic and one brought with him a Brannock Device.
This cat takes the cake, said Glanton.
Holden spat. This cat sits around the house.
The judge frowned and raised a large pale head that partly eclipsed the moon such that the great argent pate looked adjacently conjoined with the moon and some later on among the rear guard had blackened dreams of something callipygous and malevolent and mute that would yet bedevil them to the uttermost end of the world.
From his leather ledgerbook now the judge tore a thin ribbon of a page and in the cordon put a single twine and then cemented the two ends of the strip together with gumpaste such that the ribbon formed an oval with but one side. Then the judge seemed much satisfied and turned away from the fire and began to draft the cat.
(Apologies to Nicholas Sparks)
Also I think bing doesn’t want us to have too much of a good thing. Why do I have to choose one bing?! I want them both!
Purr-fect.
some things i just find hard to get excited about. so, you’ll have that.
There’s a TWSS in there somewhere, I just know it.
Is there no story with that video? AP really posts “raw videos” that are just shot with someone’s personal camcorder? That’s weirder to me than a long cat.
“This video is very raw.”
This guy knows what you’re talking about:
You ah going to kill someone with that video feed!!! It’s rawhr!
It’s as if these guys have never seen a Lion…
Or a Liger. I mean, look at it:
That’s a very long cat.
As a bonus: also meet the worldes lonliest ladies!*
*I own a cat named Pizza, I can judge!
I babysat a cat named Pizza once. It was the closest I’ve ever felt to another living being. Seriously, it loved me unconditionally. I would do anything for him. He understood me like no one else could…we were soul mates.
That Pizza cat is not like mine. He is a jerk. But he’s still named Pizza so it’s pretty okay.
pics you say? from last night!
Ohhhh…Pizza. Be my Valentine.
That cat looks like a pizza!
This is my cat, Timmie. He’s in the running for the fattest. He sits like people.
#SingleWithCatGum
I love this because I get too much enjoyment out of animals that think they are people and the people that treat their animals like people. but also because that is a cute cat.
I should mention that I also want Timmie to be my Valentine. Don’t tell Pizza.
“I’ve heard of felines, but that cat is fe-long” – Jay Leno, tonight
Something something the bartender says, “Why the long cat?”
What the hell are all of those spectators doing, sitting around…? Do they have nothing better to do in the middle of the day in Reno? Apparently not.
Reno: The Longest Little Mistake of Your Life.
“I stretched a cat in Reno, just to watch some white trash…”
I know someone else that only likes video skraight up drippin with blood, Off the Meat Chain Status –
I also have a Maine Coon that I think could give this guy a run for his money:
Totally want to go home and measure my cat tonight. (How do I say that without sounding dirty?)
Your cat looks dangerous. Its like a mountain cougar.
I prefer to think that that’s not your apartment and you just bring your cat with you to parties.
It’s a true Monster Cat!
Sad day, you guys. I measured my cat (yeah, that still sounds dirty) and he’s only 40″. He’s got some growing to do.
(For comparison’s sake, the World’s Longest Cat is 48.5″.)
Or a monsterpuss? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRT0R3hemzU
On a related note
God, I hope I die before I get so old that the highlight of my day is when strangers come to my nursing home and measures animals for my amusement.
I think the real question here is, What happened to Peter Gallagher’s OTHER eyebrow?
ZING!
I just invested this gem into my LOLk account!
one of the greatest youtube videos of all time.
What is this from?
I’m at work so I felt compelled to watch this with the sound off (just in case that long cat said anything dirty) and I’m just wondering if I missed the context of why the cat is being measured in a halfway house? Is this really just the longest cat in the half-way house? I mean, I’ve been to Reno, and I know most the town looks like that… so is it the longest cat in just Reno? I’m really confused. How many of those judges are wearing oxygen tanks?
All we need now is a very long dog to chase it:
Remember to vote this Nov. 2nd.
Gabe tweeted this entry 4 minutes ago and there are already 112 comments. What?
Wait I see, this was posted yesterday and Gabe was just commenting on it today in retrospect. MY BAD.
We are all prisoners of feline longitude. I grieve for the past.