Photos
Why Single Girls Want To Meet European Men, a Recap:
• Because they are point-guards?
• A characteristic of guys from the region is hot, maybe just a little
• They shower
• Romantic
• French Albert Einsteins in Lance Armstrong bodies
• Because we are Italian Stallion you know what I am mean?
• Bartolemeo
• BECAUSE APPARENTLY SINGLE GIRLS ARE FUCKING COCONUTS!
UPDATE: Also, WOWOWOWOOWOW! (Thanks for the tip, Dan.)
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When did Cher from Clueless and Rumer Willis have a baby?
She is definitely Buzz Lightyear in a wig.
More like Snickers Halloween Grocery Store Lady. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgSv1SKCteQ
Or Jeff Goldblum’s wife in Igby Goes Down? Eh?
Celia Weston? This is a mean game! But a fun game! Nothing tops Buzz Lightyear in a wig, though.
My upvotes do. ZING!
J/k much love to batteredgnome and you!
Kristen Wiig I know that’s you
How many Xanax did she actually take?
Well, she was still standing, and speaking, so I’d say not enough. Substantial damage done though.
Maybe just a little!
Amy Adams over there is hurtin for work.
“Generally, we European men are looking for women with slight brain damage. A woman such as yourself. Here, let me wipe that drool off your lip for you.” –Romantic European Point Guards.
mans! i used to date this guy who was super super weird, but kind of hot, so whatever, but i was still pretty ashamed to be dating him. he moved to germany and now he is like a “ladies man.” i think it is the language difference that keeps people from perceiving him as anything other than “charming american” even though an american would obviously recognize him as “creepy dude.” i think this woman has figured out how to get around the fact that she is an MRF by moving to europe. the wee britain effect!
First off: “issue” 1:24
second, jokes on us, right?
#1 Secret to Picking Up European Men:
Dress like a Las Vegas Hooker….’s Mom.
#2 Move as mechanically as possible. Looking comfortable and at ease is a major turnoff.
Speaking as a single woman of the non coconut breed…….WTF.
Kathrine’s got the screen presence of a scarecrow michael jackson.
Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith are gonna write SO many movies about this girl.
Ah, so this is explains all of the “Mail Order Point Guard” spam I’ve been getting.
“I could go on and on about why I like European men… and I will do so now.”
hi there!
I thought the UK was quite standoffish when it came to your European identity, Mister hi there.
I’d much rather identify as European than I do British.. I don’t actually fully understand what British means even! I know I’m in the minority.. but…
For the purposes of this video, it makes perfect sense. No one ever extols the sensual curve of a stiff upper lip.
Katherine Chloe Cahoon: “Why European Men Want to Avoid American Women”
Bartolemeo: “Why I Want to Meet European Men”
I think Sally Draper turned out pretty well, all things considered.
That fake Estonian accent of hers/his isn’t fooling anyone.
My first response to pretty much all of this:
My second response:
how the eff did she get my diary?
Clearly the Italian Stallion was too much for me.
Take 2!
It’s embarrassing that I know this image is from the Hark, A Vagrant! (James Joyce Letter)
That is nothing to be embarrassed about. That is something to put on your tombstone, in pride.
Kate Beaton made me laugh the ninth hardest I’ve ever laughed with this:
(I was sort of having an emotional breakdown at the time)
Anyway, Kate Beaton/Hark A Vagrant is the best thing, no embarrasso.
I just got LOL’s all over the place. I think they’re inside the keyboard now.
Kate Beaton is the best. I bought her book at the Montreal Expozine last year ( she signed it for me and everything ! She is nice and also very funny in person ). My greatest loves are history and comics so I’m a real sucker for her jokes.
I play Small Forward actually..
“Im-p-or-t-an-t is a six syllable word. You can trust me, I have my hand on my hip. Totally casual genius at work.”
Props to the American dude defending the honor of non-european men everywhere.
That guy was such a puppet. All I could think about every time he showed his face was: “what a traitor.” It’s perhaps the closest I’ve ever come to feeling like Bill OReily (other than my whole shower implement fetish phase.) I was in my office mouthing the phrase “love it or leave it you fucking sell out,” as I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth.
He just finished playing a rapist in a film.
This girl is spot on. My wife is always going ON AND ON about Vlade Divac. “Oh, he’s soooooo taaaaaalllll. I just love his passing skills! He’s got great mobility for a big man. I wouldn’t mind running a little three-man-weave with him and Nikola Pekovic!”
You guys been watching 30 for 30, too?
Definitely viral marketing for UnderArmour.
Did I say “UnderArmour”? I meant “going gay”.
She seems legitimately horny throughout this entire thing.
Also, wouldn’t the first “great place to meet European men” be, you know, Europe?
I can come to you, ladies!
You misspelled “on”*
*sorry**
**not really
***neither am I
I can’t wait to meet the European man of my dreams!
hey there!
Heeeeeyyyyy! I like your accent…even though I never heard you speak. But I always imagine what it would be like when I read your comments, and It’s very nice….(Don’t tell my Canadian lover Ryan)
“How could you do this to me.”
RYAN! I am so sorry! I kid, I kid! I love your Canadian ass!
#canadagum
You know what they say about Italian Stallions, right?
Upvotes forever!
Can you lend me your copy after? I want to know what she meant by “true stories”…
Wait! Nevermind! Bookgum anyone?!
“Cahoon is currently working with producers on the screenplay of the book, which they refer to as Sex and the City meets Love Actually in the hot spots of Europe.”
That’s how it ends, not with a whimper but with a bang
I nominate Kimmie Gibbler to play our dead Kathrine.
New drinking game:
Drink every time she says “European men.” Then pick up the loaded handgun you keep under your mattress and kill yourself.
Oh man, I’m still laughing as I type this…
… and upvote you.
… and go about the rest of my day.
“A good place to find European men is” – Europe?
“in their sports” – like rugby, soccer, cycling, cricket, field hockey?
-cue basketball court-
Derp.
How awesome would it have been if Tommy Wiseau just showed up in the middle of this video.
“YOU’RE TEARING ME APART CATHERINE!”
“YOU’RE TEARING ME APART HORSES TIED TO MY LIMBS!”
–from Cormac McCarthy’s “The Room”
*slow clap* Bravo!
Ugly American.
Ladies:
“I am looking for a woman with a nice long neck and a cool, dry basement.” –Count Orlok.
Welcome to Swoon City,
population: me
You know you’re a pretty popular monster when you post a broken image and get a handful of upvotes.
That girl is a nightmare women.
So of course I subscribed to her You Tube page and liked her on facebook.
I have to use that pick-up line whenever I’m in America (next week! So excited! Please have a Monster Party next week Gabe, it will probably be the last time I’ll be in New York before 2012):
“I’m from Europe. LADIES?”
“Help, I’ve fallen into a well…ladies.”
“It’s like a jacuzzi with really high walls, you know you wanna”
That was an awful lot of wardrobe changes for getting across zero information. I suspect this video is a ruse for getting the chance to break out her 50′s wiggle dress collection.
I’m not trying to be an asshole here, but she never told me how to pick any of those dudes up. Had she called it: “I am into European men,” I wouldn’t feel the need to say anything, but come on. It’s like someone telling me they’d teach me how to fix my car and just going on and on about how awesome cars are.
C’mon, Whoa!. Don’t be such an American.
maybe you can’t see the detailing on my unbuttoned sleeveless baseball jersey?
I’m from Canada… And they think I’m slow… Eh…
Seriously I hit play on that video thinking it was some kind of joke. She has this kind of deer-in-the-headlights look on her face constantly as if shes wearing an animatronic mask or something…
This video is AWKWARD. And she speaks English as if she’s from Europe.
She speaks English like Mandy Moore on MTV’s The Mandy Moore Show in 2000. That is to say, an inexplicable and hypnotic combination of overenunciating and slurring.
retainersssssss?
No bookgum tag?
This was funny.
when did Joan Cusack have a stroke?
“This festival should be called ‘ManFest’.”
I see a lot of botox, Pomeranians, being married to a gay dude, chardonnay, and quaaludes in this girl’s future…
I’d also like to add, that my dad is from “Europe” and my mom met him during FLEET WEEK. They’re divorced now, and I can’t remember what year they got married, but I know I was either on my way or in action.
A fleet week romance?! That’s amazing.
Yeah, like three of my mom’s friends also married British Royal Navy/Greek Navy dudes because she and her ho-bag friends went to the harbor to troll for skank.
I CAN NEVER TELL IF I’M BEING TROLLED ANYMORE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD ANYMORE. OH WELL. ONLY 2 YEARS LEFT.
maybe this is viral marketing for being responsible, getting an education and a job, and not acting like the kind of person who has taxidermist of all their past cats posed next to their fireplace.
*taxidermies
I’m struggling to come to terms with how this woman is single!
She’s a classy lady, what’s not to love?
She legitimately scares me.
Dear God, she also went to (one of my) hometowns: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilTu2cJEKio&feature=related
I LOVE how she says how difficult it is to understand artists. Big words, tricky. All a girl wants to hear is ‘hey, wanna go for a ride?” Thanks for that. Edinburgh (Eh-diin-buuuurow)is known for its scenic highways. Yes.
When this translates on the screen as a key moment in Eat, Pray, Love: Risk Addiction, I am totally going to protest outside the UK Premiere.
And I’m a Glaswegian McLorry – this romanticisation of Edinborrow’s culturedness should be hilarious.
Gabe, the “update” deserves its own post. It’s an unwitting journey into the topic of “how to get raped in Europe.” I can only assume her next piece of advice is to track down some British Stag parties and tag along.
Interviewed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvz8u4NXHVs&feature=related
I like how her book contains “Lots of true man meeting (meating?) stories.”
She seriously said this when asked how she celebrate her book deal on the “My Reading Room” blog (You CAN’T make it up)
“I vividly remember the day I received my book deal. I was in LA juggling what seemed like a kazillion meetings…some were at studios and some at production companies. Because my meetings were back-to-back and I had to dress more formally at certain places, I was literally changing en route. It was crazy! When I got the news, I absolutely wanted to celebrate, so I went to Crumbs Cupcakes. If you have never been there, it’s a must-go! This is cupcake heaven. Seriously, I can’t think of what better celebration a girl could have…well maybe she could add an appealing man to share her cupcake.”
High heels and cupcakes – right, ladies!?
It’s quite amazing, actually. She delves in to other awesome ‘chick topics’ like how she loves the kitchen, reads Gone With the Wind, takes bubble baths, eats ice cream and goes to the salon. I’m really not making this up.
http://myreadingroom-crystal.blogspot.com/2010/09/author-interview-katherine-chloe-cahoon.html
This week’s YCMIU: Katherine Heigl executive produces “The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men”
0:36 – “Oh shit, she wants me to say MORE things about my book?”
– Katherine Chloe Cahoon’s brain
tip on picking up [european] men: don’t talk like a robot. don’t let on that you’re a robot until at least the third date.
oooo! “subtle” fat shaming: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2KHI_JQo5Q
(video about katherine’s friend feeling fat in her bathing suit, and how that won’t get you european men)
Wait wait wait wait, the second video… OktoberFest = MANFEST. So she doesn’t drink and puts herself in the same category as Jennifer Lopez (crazy bitch), Blake Livey (I have no problem with her really), and Jennifer Love Hewitt (the girl who’s dated every douche under the sun (John Mayer, Carson Daly, Eric Matthews from BMW, dude from LFO (rip) and also dressed up like Audrey Hepburn on her 30th birthday and stood outside of Tiffanys… There we go.) THEN: She says that when men find out you don’t drink, that they’re eager to give you beer (DUH) but that you can politely thank them and then REGIFT those beers to other dudes. WHAT?
I’m waiting for the video on how to meet the uncircumsized man of your dreams. “Some of the uncut hotspots are Romanian bathouses and Greek beaches. Try and become a towel girl at a resort and watch your dreams unsheath.”
Katherine: “Francois, what are you training for?”
Francois: “I am training for (garbled) Germany, in August.
Katherine: “…and I’m chilling by my bike.”
She should teach at interviewing school!
This made me laugh so hard.
DROP EVERYTHING THIS ONE HAS DANCE MOVE DEMOS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohwmOUFN-Ko
THANKS A LOT I WAS HOLDING A BABY!
Good God.
I don’t wanna be that guy but is this fake? No one can be this retarded. And by retarded I mean retarded.
I can’t believe the lobotomy didn’t ruin her Sparkle Motion dance moves.
holy shit. she flipped her hair and shook her ass. i’m even more scared now than i was before.
She is your second favorite author, behind this guy:
My name is So And So!
Pretty sure this video wins the internet this week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l58Vk7B43dg
“There are so many ways to wear a sarong dress! And if it falls off, you have your bathing suit on underneath.”
Yes, she may have trouble spitting words out, but I’m still impressed that a senior photo can talk in the first place.
This one’s better, actually:
It’s hard to choose one. She has approximately a kazillion more poses in her repertoire.
What do you call a “Manchild” if it’s a girl? Girlwoman?
Basically what I’m saying here is that if she had worn Pigtails at one point my surprise-o-meter would be at zero.
Why is she using that Shake Weight as a microphone?
Currency isn’t the only thing in America that gains value overseas.
Nice try monsters:
CAN SOME PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE. I AM READING THE EXCERPT OF HER BOOK ON AMAZON AND I AM REALLY LOSING FAITH IN EVERYTHING. THERE ARE SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH HER PROSE AND THE MESSAGE AND THE UGNHGUNGHGH THAT I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW.
“Then she went on a love-provoking weekend to Sweden and ran into the man of her dreams. When I say “ran into” i mean that literally.”
CAN ANYBODY GUESS WHAT SHE DESCRIBES IN THE NEXT SENTENCE. DO YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE HOW HER FRIEND FUCKING RAN INTO A SWEDISH MAN WHILE SHE WAS ON A “LOVE -PROVOKING” WEEKEND?
what does it all mean
“She stays in close contact with Mr. European Love of Her Life and they are actively planning to live together forever.”
i feel so demoralized and empty.
i know that nobody is out there anymore… but this is for ME.
i’m here. i think i’ll go back to bed. this is all too depressing.
Hey, my name’s spelled “Kathleeny” not “Dan”, Gabe. I sent you the tip for this last Friday.
Dude was neither European, nor Macedonian.
Didn’t they make her book into a movie with Liam Neeson and Maggie Grace?