Apparently this website is just going to be all Zach Galifianakis all the time? Not bad. There could be worse websites in the world. New Between Two Ferns, you guys:
On the one hand, I feel like newer guests on this “show,” post, say, Charlize, keep coming into it with their gameface on, doing this complicated triple-reverse-play where their “character” seems like they don’t want to be on this show and don’t want to have to deal with Zach, when in reality they are obviously in on the joke and are probably asking to be included at this point, because when was the last time Bruce Willis did anything cool? So it’s complicated because the artifice of not wanting to be on a show that we all know isn’t actually a show and that you do want to be on it is sort of headachey and it wouldn’t be a bad thing if someone would actually go back to the Michael Cera-era of B2F and enter into this willing to play along in the opposite direction, like willing to play along as if they were actually the professional, media-savvy celebrities that they are, and that they were going to do their best to weather the interview with a smile because that is their job, regardless of how tense the interview gets. Because the fakest thing about these at this point is that Bruce Willis and Sean Penn and Ben Stiller would be such outward dicks to someone on camera without provocation in the era of YouTube and instant-celebrity-tear-down-alert. On the other hand: BETWEEN TWO FERNS! THE BEST ALWAYS!
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Where’s his hat?
Where’s the bathing suit?
WHERE’S YOUR AVATAR?!?!?!?
Mine?
Lawblog, off topic, but you need to start campaigning for the song contest. “We Monsters” has got to win!
Yes, yours. As your internet husband I feel I deserve some answers.
In terms of the song, I wanted to keep it pretty much monsters only. I don’t really feel right campaigning to the rest of the internets.
Fair enough, hubs. I decided to get a makeover in honor of the song contest. Plus, I feel that Joy from My Name Is Earl really represents who I am. You know, on the inside.
*sigh* At least I still have “We Monsters” to jam out to on my iPod. And I will. Trust.
Thank you for your support, though. And I approve of your makeover. I was just surprised is all. Change frightens me.
Maybe he ate his hat.
Are you implying that Bruce Willis isn’t cool anymore? He was in a movie with Justin Long! He has his own brand of…I don’t know, vodka, or waffles, or something? He’s hip and trendy!
Every semi-retired celebrity has a liquor nowadays. Bruce Willis, Sammy Hagar, Sean “Puffy” Combs. Sometimes old dudes just need to diversify.
Thus we have Gabe Delahaye’s Hoverporch Brand Malt Liquor.
Should’ve been Justin Bieber, and hats.
Having your own brand of waffles actually WOULD be cool, because waffles! They have squares!
I would eat Bruce Willis brand waffles. Leggo’ my Breggos!
This special episode of Between two ferns should have been called Side by Side
Zach went to the Mad Men School For Discarding of Items.
I think my favorite B2F was with Jon Hamm. Bruce Willis isn’t Jon Hamm.
is your middle name honeybaked?
I thought you were asking about Sam Bolles, and I was like “Sam Honeybaked Bolles? I don’t get it.” And then I remembered references.
Now I’m on Between Two Ferns. Ho ho ho.
I’ve always been partial to the Bradley Cooper episode.
Seriously. It’s brilliant because Cooper plays that he knows Zach in a context where Zach is normal and friends with him, which would suggest that he would get the joke, but instead he takes it seriously, while still absolutely overplaying it.
Anyone should feel free to call me if they need jokes explained.
Is fuckin carrot top behind me?
Mr Willis Didn’t seem like that Much of a Dick. A real Dick Move would have been to just Roll Out on the Motherfucker whilst he burned.
i think you’re right gabe. once that fire broke out, this show totally jumped the ferns.
Nope, still doesn’t make up for Cop Out. #Nope
Did anyone see Bruce Willis on The Daily Show the other night? He is so akward! You would think someone who has been doing inverviews for 20+ years would be much better at it by now. He was like the Kristen Stewart of old men.
“Were you ever worried that The Whole Ten Yards would turn out TOO good?”
Now I gotta clean coffee off my monitor…..
“What you talking bout, Willis?” was the line that got me.
“under the arms?”
His little face after saying, “Look who’s talking” makes my whole day WONDERFUL.
I mostly watch those interviews to see if the ferns are healthy and whether they’ve grown at all since the last interview. I found this one very offensive.
This seems like the appropriate space to share my most recent, videogum-inspired dream: I dreamt that I went on a tour of the Videogum Campus (cause that’s a thing) and it was built into a mountain. It was an underground matrix of tunnels. To get there from the village you have to mount a tiny horse and ride up there and then the horse turns around and gets the next person. Thank god I was at the front of the line or it would have taken forever! Gabe who was actually part-donkey led the tour. All you monsters were there but you were actually children in real life. You guys were about 5 or 6 years old but spoke like old people. Some of you were married and stuff but you were 5. The main room was a movie theater/potato storage facility. The backroom had 4 robots at computers updating Videogum/their personal facebooks. This, people, is how the sausage is truly blogged.
I had the same dream.
Slightly related: Would it be inappropriate to be a Chilean miner for Halloween?
As long as there isn’t a Final Destination-style curse on them. Well, to be more accurate… Mine-al Destination 3Deep.
Are you getting a friend to go as the mine?
I don’t know what I mean.
It would be inappropriate not to be a Chilean miner for Halloween.