Photos
Here is a photo of Zach Galifianakis wearing a woman’s bathing suit. It’s from a so-called “Zach Galifianakis Swimsuit Calendar” on the Vanity Fair website, although there are only five photos, and also he’s wearing the same swimsuit in all the photos, just making different poses, and actually two of the poses are BASICALLY the same poses, so SOME CALENDAR. Come on, Vanity Fair. It’s 2010. We all have come to expect certain things when you say Swimsuit Calendar. For example, a MINIMUM of 12 photos. Not trying to be a pain in the ass, I’m just saying, that’s, like, BASIC. On top of that, a little VARIETY would not hurt. Change it up! (Not quite sure why I am complaining so much about this Zach Galifianakis swimsuit calendar, since I wouldn’t actually want a Zach Galifianakis swimsuit calendar, so what do I care if it’s just five photos and they’re all the same. And yet, I continue. Actually, wait, no, I think I do know what my problem is. My problem is LIARS STINK.) Anyway, caption it. Right? Right. Caption it, you guys!
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. OOH LA LA, I’m sure.
(Click through to enlarge.)
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Mr. January 2012
This is the way the world ends; not with a bang, but with a swimsuit.
Don finds out he’s been selected for the 2013 calendar.
why are all the hot ones crazy
He’s pretty (damn funny).
Nice Legs.
can I get a galifianafuck?
upvote for referencing his joke.
Shape support for shapely men.
I’m ready for my close-up Mr. Paladino.
That’s So Raven.
I see what you did there.
“Fatso Raven.”
What’s with the downvotes on this? Is everybody on the “I hate puns” bus today? Or is it because it’s a fat joke? Speaking as a fatso, I thought this was hilarious, and I’m absolutely positive that Mr. Galifinakas would chuckle as well.
Lighten up, ya fat fucks!
That is actually a really good tuck-job. Rupaul would approve.
Don’t judge until you see him from the back.
He didn’t tuck.
For his sake, I hope he did.
“Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes…with salad tongs.”
So… maybe he didn’t tuck?
I have the most overrated boner right now.
fuck you
just kidding, whatever you think is fine.
You suck Teacherman. Some of us have followed him since Out Cold.
Jobes, commas are so important. Unless backwaxer really does suck Teacherman. In which case, he’s got some explaining to do.
Guys, relax. Jokes, amirite?
yeah, jokes, it’s cool.
(by the way, teacherman – your boner is UNDERRATED. I would know)
HA! well played, sir.
This was my favorite. Bravo teach
The (gut) Hangover (his pants).
I’d like to get between those ferns. Daaamn.
And by ferns I mean hairy, hairy man legs.
If he was going to shave, I wish he opted for his bikini line.
BLAM! I should have hit refresh. Similar ideas…
“I knew I should have shaved my legs instead of my beard today”
(meh.)
But did he shave his V for Vagina ?
“(Click through to enlarge.)”
Because it wouldn’t be Tuesday without a painfully obvious dick joke. (Of course it would)
Throw-Up model.
(?)
Like Pin-Up you guys!
He’s probably out at the beach because the hot tub is too hot.
Like Rita Hayworth but, you know, in color.
ptown bear weekend has its posters ready for 2011
HERE COMES THE CHOO CHOO!!!!!!!!
He has a six-pack of one.
Six pack? No. Box of wine? Yes.
http://www.chicompany.net/index.php?main_page=popup_image&pID=164
Suddenly, getting a table for one at Chuck E. Cheese just got that much harder.
Thus begins The Hangover 2 viral marketing…
Would you Zach me? I’d Zach me. I’d Zach me hard.
Are we sure this isn’t Seth?
Does this effectively hide my thunder?
This month’s special guest model, Jonah Hill.
This is his audition for Cocky Romano…. sorry
I don’t get it – my mom, probably.
You’re NASTY!!!
Zach GalifiaKNOCKERS
Zach GalifiaKNACKERS – may not translate across the pond.
Looks like he lost his GalifiaKNICKERS.
I found this thread very Zach GaliFUNNYkis.
In England they call “Knockers” “Lorries”.
The Todd Phillips remake of “From Here to Eternity”‘s first publicity shot.
Todd Phillips’ 10.
Somehow Bo Derek has more of a package going on than Zach.
“It would be so cool if I could breast feed.” – Zach Galifianakis
Not pictured: Dignity
You’re sweet to say that.
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Going for EGOT, bring it on please!!!
Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.
Sorry, Cultural Underpinnings Face King. I didn’t see you went there already.
Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare??
behind that picture lies andy dufresne’s tunnel to freedom.
The face that launched a 1,000 (red) rockets (because woof).
Still more attractive than Jennifer Lynn Petkov.
Look at me, now look at yourself, now back at me. Sadly, you’re looking at Zach Galifianakis in a one-piece.
Also, Bing, you a lyin homophobe robot. Can’t find any videos? Or wont?
Eddie Izzard has really let himself go.
WHAT?! He ran, like, a bajillion miles all around Great Britain! How could- oh. You’re captioning the photo. MY BAD ^_^
Phoebe Cates 2.0.
You just pulled a Judge Rheinhold maneuver aka ruining a classic vision of loveliness
Hope you had a hell of a piss, Hugh Jackman Arnold!
- Classic Judge
^ supposed to be a strikethrough on Hugh Jackman there… Zombie Shakespeare is not well versed in the Queen’s HTML English.
????????????????????????????????/?????????
If you squint your eyes and tilt your head a little he looks like Kate Moss
zach galifianakis: da original booty hitta.
It’s kind of a funny story.
Pictured: John Goodman’s Mom.
Oooohhh wooaaahhhhh AAAHHH!
I just died in your arms toniiiiight!
Must have been some kind of kiiiid
You shoulda walked awaaaayyyyy
YOU SHOULD-A WALKED A-WAY!
Red Rover, Red Rover, send some of THAT right on over.
Comedy Is Not Pretty.
So when does Glee file for copyright infringement?
The talent portion of the competition has been cancelled due to massive vomiting by the judges.
He calls his balls ‘the bush twins.’
Rosie has NEVER looked better.
Agreed. I like it when she conceals her Koosh balls.
Oprah has also sworn by the forgiving cut of the Kamali swimsuit for 10 years, and you can see why.
I’d just like to post this joke of his because I forgot about it forever ago and laughed out loud just now when I read it-
“Whenever I’m with a woman I whisper softly into her ear, “Touch my vagina,” and she’s like, “WHAT?!” and I’m like, “That’s what you’re supposed to say.”
I’m going after the Huntsville rapist undercover.
Well, his name begins with a “Gal” and ends in a “Kiss,” so basically, we can expect a kiss soon?
My Big Fat Greek Spreading.
Looks like his New Year’s resolution to stop saying “you go girl” to himself fell through, and he’s now fully embracing the encouragement.
They’ll need to add a few more pages if that’s a centerfold.
Did he get that swimsuit at the Susan B. Anthony cross-dresser store?
“ENOUGH! Let’s go have a beach party!”
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This shot makes it look like he was knocked out, thrown into a onepiece and dropped off on a beach, where he came to and found a Swiss photographer named Fritz snapping shots and yelling at him to look fiercer, and decided to play along until he could figure out what the hell was going on. It wasn’t until this shot:
that he realized he was where he belonged.
Quick, let’s remake Swept Away again. Third time’s definitely a charm.
Careful, there’s a monster at the end of that calendar.
THIS is what a feminist looks like
“Call an ambulance.”
Upvote, upvote, upvote, 8 turned 90 degrees.
A MILLION UPVOTES FOR MY FRIEND. And also, I love you.
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HURLEY.
I can totally see his GalifiaSACKis!
So hot, it makes me want to Galifiawankis.
Or maybe Galifiaspankis!
I’m just saying that it’s a flattering look.
Woops, should probably have read the other ones first. Sorry guys.
Which was supposed to be a reply to my earlier failed comment. I’m not funny and I can’t work the internet properly. I should be writing campaign ads for Christine O’Donnell.
that’s my boyfriend
sidenote: I wonder if these were photoshopped?
There’s a typo. It’s not Vanity Fair, it’s Man-Titty Fair.
It’s a sister-publication.
I like the way you think, sir!
That’s Your Girlfriend: Zach Galifianakis
The Birth of Penis
Now imagine the previous comment and the picture are a single comment. Picturing is hard. Ugh.
“Penis de Milo,” maybe?
We shouldn’t make fun. Zach has body image issues.
That one should be titled “Up and Out”
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“Haven’t I made enough money?”
Nice to see VF finally synthesizing it’s “next hot,” with its “how are they still writing articles about.” Next month, Chistopher Mintz-Plasse as Greta Garbo followed by Lady Gaga as RFK.
There is totally a market for this and I don’t care if it’s me
At least this is less humiliating than Out Cold, Corky Romano, and G-Force you guys
Not since “Silence of the Lambs” has a man’s junk been this painstakingly tucked with such professionalism. Extra marks for shaving a mere week before the shoot.
Paladino’s Wet Nightmare
Where are all the Zach GalifianaGIFs???
Still better than G-Force.
Victoria should have kept the fucking secret to herself.
Thank God it’s a one-piece.
“Vanity Fair”? More like the Swimsuit Calendar for “Valley of Humiliation!” No…no…wait…I got it…the Calendar for “House Beautiful!”
Yeah, I know.
Not pictured: Mr. Galifianakis’ self-regard.
Also not pictured: Your mom, confused by this.
“Do you know Zack Gallifigs?”
I’m not convinced this isn’t a picture of me.
Zach?
“Just think of me as a beautiful woman who happened to get pregnant in the midst of steroids addiction, and is now in her third trimester.”
It’s kind of a funny story.
Without the beard I am Artie Lange.
“Mother?”
Between two dunes.
oh you fancy huh?
“Oh, my god. Becky – look at his balls. They are so…well, they must be in there somewhere. He must be one of those rap girls’ boyfriends”…”I like implied nuts and I cannot lie”…
“Land Hoe”