Photos
Look, I’m as aware as anyone of the importance of finding something in this world that makes you happy. It’s the only way to stay afloat! And if your girlfriend wants to fill the apartment that the two of you share and are using as the foundation for the life you are trying to build together with rats, and if she wants to give them names from Pixar movies, and if she openly admits to everyone she meets including camera crews and newspapers that not only do you love rats and fill your house with rats, but that you got the idea, as an adult, from watching Ratatouille, please, tell her in the bed you share tonight to knock herself out. It is literally no skin off my back. (Note to self: look up where the expression “no skin off my back” comes from. It’s gross. And weird!) I will tell you where I start having a problem with the proclivities of this woman who you respect and like to believe you would be great friends with even if you ever stopped sleeping together: it is exactly at the point where she wraps a four-week dead rat in a napkin and keeps him in a treasure drawer. ALTHOUGH one could argue that the point at which my problem actually started before that, whenever it was exactly that she gently RUBBED BLUEBERRY YOGURT AROUND THE MOUTH OF THE DEAD RAT. Either way: tell her to knock it off. Seriously, grow some balls and tell her what’s what. Relationships are compromise but this is ridiculous. (Via Dlisted.)
 |
 |
No, you can’t see God in the eyes of rats. You see God in the noses of bunnies.
I could watch this all dayI will watch this all dayI see God in the paws of surprised kittens.
I see it riiight there on the tip of that finger…and I’m gonna nom it.
You have a great sense of humor. Very cute bunnies. The eyes are always said to be the windows to the soul. I kept Reggie in the freezer to preserve him until I went upstate. My friends own a beautiful home there in the montains. I had to wait until they went there in order to bury Reggie. He was buried Oct 9th, 2010. Right before Reggie died his little head fell into his dish of blueberry yogurt. All my ratties are littler box trained. The bed was messy because we had to move things around in order to film R & C. It’s always in order and cleanThey go in the blue cat bed which I place on the end of the bed. Remalina and Christiana are rescues. Most lab rats and feeder rats are white. I would adopt ANY color recued rat. Also if I could catch a subway rat and care for it I would. I would just keep it in a large cage until it became socialized.
i can’t wait until my girlfriend asks me to visit her in her house in the hamptons.
Be sure to wear some flea collars around your ankles!
NO, GABE. JUST NO.
We are actually fighting right now beause I think it is very un-sexy to make love with little bits of corn and cereal stuck to our bodies but the rat smell on our sheets is very comforting to her.
“I beg to differ” – plague victims
(yes, the plague was spread by fleas, but the fleas didn’t travel by moped, now did they?)
No, but the rats traveled by motorcycle.
Seriously.
– It’s this massive conspiracy by the exterminators.
– Do you think it might be that because of their lifestyle, and the food and trash they live on, plus the diseases they are able to carry without harming themselves, but which are harmful to humans, that rats have a bad reputation?
– No.
– You’re not even going to instead explain that sure rats can be clean and healthy for humans if kept proper but instead insist on stupidity?
– Yes
– Should we talk about your very, very poor understanding of the Christian faith and doctrine?
– No, I’m good.
My girls went to the vet. They are clean. The fleas would jump on people as well. Rats died as well as humans once they were bitten.The plague was originally caused by unclean conditions that people caused. The fleas would eat off of the sewerage in the streets etc. Thank you for your interest “good or bad”
Why does she only have white rats? racist
Holy fucking fuck, they’re Catholic rats?
If god had wanted us to keep four-week-dead rats as pets, he wouldn’t have given us barf.
Honestly though, he must be stuffed, right? Because there’s no way a rat that’s been dead for 4 weeks, even kept in the refrigerator wrapped in a fabric sample, would still be okay to put your face near.
Died a few weeks ago? I’m pretty sure it’s large size is gas build-up from the microbe communities still flourishing in its gut. Tell her to bury that thing QUICK.
MMMMMMM…….Plutonic Ether.
Ugh, this makes it grosser. How is that even possible???
To quote the great Dr. Ian Malcolm, “Life finds a way.”
Thank you GradStudentsAreTheWorst, that makes me feel better. I wont have nightmares now.
That rat puts the “bloated” back in “bloated rat corpse”.
Keeping rats? Still acceptable. Religious, vegetarian, blueberry-yogurt feedin’, children’s movie inspired dead rat storing ratkeeping? Now THAT’S my girlfriend!
It was really Fantastic Mr. Fox that opened her eyes.
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQnTEiVNOD3uX2ln6kJLzyAiCxtH7wKZnrS0c9WyQOMO2QhH4&t=1&usg=__zOK5jqDZCyluemScXFV8kK25W48=
Luckily dead, rotting rats don’t carry plagues or she’d be in real trouble.
I’m right there with ya, dude.
Who’s she fooling with that can of Febreze?
When that guy came on screen for a half second I screamed. And not just because I realized she was holding a FUCKING DEAD RAT IN HER ALIVE HUMAN HANDS.
Me too… I guess it was someone that was there with whoever was videoing her, but at first I didn’t realize that she was standing in front of a mirror and I thought maybe someone was coming to kill her.
The rats that were still alive looked really psyched to be there, especially with her flashing their dead comrade all over the place.
Do I keep pet rats? Yes, yes I do. And I was with her for a while, then she pulled out the dead guy. Yikes. And even though males are larger than females, that is an obese rat. Maybe if she had went with a non-fat blueberry yogurt, that rat would still be alive.
Me too! We had a pet rat when I was a kid (it was legit! We got it from an elementary school class and not a dumpster! We named her Cheddar. She was awesome!), and we totally let it run around the house. But it definitely had a cage where it lived and ate, and the cage was also not the bed where I slept.
Do rats generally die of heart attacks, or just that one (probably)?
I honestly didn’t think it was THAT strange until she took the dead one out. Was really waiting for her to start kissing it….nightmares now ftw.
My thoughts as I was watching this:
“Well, they aren’t sewer rats, and lots of people keep rats for pets. Who am I to judge? I talk to my cats like they’re children and carry them around like babies. So really, what’s the big HOLY SHIT SHE HAS A DEAD RAT WRAPPED IN FABRIC. OH MY GOD, SHE KISSES IT AND RUBS BLUEBERRY YOGURT ON ITS MOUTH. STOP TOUCHING IT!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?”
egg zactly.
I’m crying laughing! I would upvote this all day if I could. This is precisely my thought process. F’ing genius.
Anyone else think that when she said “burying them upstate” she was talking about the northern most room in her apartment?
I was thinking Arlington Cemetery.
I was thinking “upstate” like where the prisons and mental hospitals are.
Couldn’t she have just have become a huge Patton Oswalt fan instead?
It makes for some pretty wild Friday night nasty-time, how we all share the bed and such. (No Remy-o)
oh my god, i was just sitting down to eat lunch (meatloaf) when I saw this, you fucking fuck.
meatloaf? for lunch?!…..who are you? the king of england?
what do you think he is, a farmer?
yes
Yeah . . . I was eating breakfast. That breakfast is now in the garbage. Hopefully some rats at the dump will enjoy it as much as they enjoy blueberry yogurt.
I first met my girlfriend when we both reached for the last Tori Amos “God” cassingle at Best Buy.
For the record: that’s not my girlfriend. That’s my girlfriend’s owner.
“Anyway, sorry to cut filming short, but I’m off to my job at KFC.”
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
With our eyes? I don’t get it!
i thought he hated dogs and thought he could beat them? are you saying the he looked at them in horror because they pooped in his bed like it was normal? that’s how i’m looking at these rats.
So the yacht club has determined how to kick people out of their organization for wearing jeans in the clubhouse, but Jesus can’t figure out how to regulate his membership? Come on, fella.
From now on yogurt parfaits are just going to look like granola, strawberries, blueberries, and bloated dead rats.
She’s just biding her time until she gets a hold of the secret ooze and turns them into her personal ninja rat army.
Rats off to ya!
Wait a couple of years for the most horrifying episode of Hoarders yet. She leaves the city and buys a cheap house to make more room for her rats, and years go by. A HOUSE FULL OF RATS. ON PURPOSE.
I was about 14 years old and I had this hamsters. So there is this girl that I like and I ve been telling her how cute and warm and fuzzy they are and how they are going to make a wonderfull family together. I even build a badass cage for them to live with colorfoul slides and wheels and a tiny house and shit.
So, my parents are out and I get to bring that girl over, first thing we do when we get in my house is walk to the cage…
Turns out the female one gave birth. There was blood in the cage, and this tiny hairles pink shits were scattered all over the place, some of them where blue because they were dead. The mother was going apeshit insane, she is like murdering them and eating them. She was holding a headless dead baby and eating it, you could see this tiny little organs like pangreas or lungs or whatever. The problem is that this hell extented beyong the cage. I was about to nuke it from orbit but the mother is fucking throwing half dead babies out of the cage. One of them was stuck between the cage’s railings, some of them were moving their gross little pink legs. The father was ok, he was not being a part of that disgusting rampage, but he was disgusting by his nature, he had this huge balls that were bigger than mine. This poor guy was litterarly, half mouse, half balls.
I did not get laid that night.
After that , all the hamsters ever did was fuck. Fuck fuck,fuck,fuck. Non stop. He would chase her around for a while, then hold her down and get it on…violently, furiously. Chocking her and giving her bite marks. Thats all they did, all night long, getting it on 24/7.
I was 14 years old. I did not have internet. I was raised in a time where you couldn t just type asian gangbang creampie bukkake. It was an innocent time. I thought masturbation was a crime, I thought it was a sin. I asked for forgiveness after everytime. I had never seen “cock” penetrating “pussy”. I only had a VHS with girls dancing in sexy lingerie. I remember the music.
sounds like this has had a major lasting effect on you. a damaging effect.
are…
are you ok?
ps: when my friend was like 7 years old she had a hamster and she loved it so much and she took it out to “hug” it and squeezed it until it died. rodents make bad pets in many ways
Good story. I’ll be keeping my out for you in the comments section, sir.
And how does this music make you feel when you think about it now ?
Wow. Awful story. I mean, great story. But awful, awful story.
NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND US DIANNE–I LOVE YOU BABE
-This lady’s favorite book. Followed by the Bible.
I love her because she knows competing with a dead rat will give me confidence.
NOBODY has made a gif of Crispin Glover in Willard? Really? No rats pouring out of the elevator or anything?
You guys, I don’t even know how to do that because lame? But I came in here totally expecting to see one and laugh heartily and give upvotes. And that didn’t happen and now I’m almost sad enough to keep bloated rat corpses as collectibles.
(No, I’m not.)