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I’m not sure when the introduction to the Monsters’ Ball became the Huffington Post Celebrity Gossip Dumping Grounds, but as we all prepare to HACK OUT for the weekend, here’s something from the Huffington Post Entertainment Page:
Jessica Simpson is passing along some helpful information.
“This link just made my morning! RT @OMGFacts: The average person farts about 14 TIMES each day! How to fart less? –> http://bit.ly/dl3Dss,” she tweeted.
The link she refers to advises cutting down on dairy and fatty foods.
Earlier this year, Us Weekly reported that Jessica “let out a very loud fart” during a business meeting.
“The tension was extreme,” a source told the magazine.
THE TENSION WAS EXTREME, YOU GUYS. Hahaha. Honestly, I’m starting to thing this is just the way things are now. Better get used to it, I guess. (And better get those urine filtration systems ready. The water is rising. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!)
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of this week’s Bruce Willis Meat Hat Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice:
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
The New Sound | Oct 6th | Score:90 |
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Oh, Gabe. Really? How about we all stop trying to be pithy for two seconds and just think about how nice this quote is? JGL: “It’s wonderful to be mistaken for him. He taught me to question the relationships other people have with their siblings because he would be my favorite person in the world even if I wasn’t lucky enough to know him as my brother. He’s just awesome in every way that I pay attention to. I ask myself, ‘Do I love him because he’s my brother or is he really that awesome?’ He’s really, really awesome… It’s rare that I don’t feel really proud of him.” |
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| Posted in: Heaven Just Got A Little More Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt | |||
| #4 |  |
CindiLightballoon | Oct 6th | Score:96 |
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Aw, c’mon guys. This seems genuinely sad to me. He was more than a hippie lover of The Matrix — he was, for example, someone’s brother. (*I have a Coexist bumper sticker) |
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| Posted in: Heaven Just Got A Little More Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt | |||
| #3 |  |
huckabeast | Oct 4th | Score:98 |
| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Bride Wars | |||
| #2 |  |
Patrick M | Oct 1st | Score:98 |
| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | |||
| #1 | |
huckabeast | Oct 6th | Score:136 |
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Uh-Oh, Spaghetacos. |
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| Posted in: iCarly Spaghetti Tacos Remind Us That Kids Are The Worst | |||
[Ed. note: For those interested, there is an update over at the Videogum Book Club. Check it out! And stay in school!]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 |  |
Bubbles | Oct 6th | Score:-30 |
| No cause listed =
- suicide |
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| Posted in: Heaven Just Got A Little More Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt | |||
[Ed. note: OK, so, to address both this comment, and the couple of Highest Voted comments above that deal with the Burning Dan Gordon-Levitt obituary post, let's put things back into perspective everyone, please. First of all, RELAX. While one can only imagine how difficult this time is for Joseph Gordon-Levitt and his family, please do not worry that a thread of Internet comments on a small-to-medium-sized pop culture blog are having any effect. Not that I am encouraging rude or gross or insensitive comments. The opposite, in fact. Let's all be adults. But as adults, surely we can recognize that one can be respectful of death without being browbeating or pedantic. As to criticisms that my post was insensitive, I welcome your criticism but I honestly don't agree with you at all. The post was written in the standard Videogum Obituary Format, the same as anyone else who dies and gets written about, which I believe is how it should be--fair is fair--and yes, I linked back to the original post in my quicklink, and no, I did not try and sugarcoat the fact that we had teased him, because I'm not a wimp. I will take full responsibility for having teased someone who was alive, regardless of the fact that they died later. That part is sad, but it doesn't change what happened, and it doesn't make what happened any more or less respectful. It was simply a reference point. Also, let us please remember that HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE DIE EVERY SINGLE DAY IN THIS WORLD, so to some extent, the sacred hush that we all feel when we learn of someone's death who we first read about on a blog is KIND OF BULLSHIT. I'm not saying we shouldn't treat death with a heightened sensitivity because we should because death affects the living, and the living have rights in terms of decency and respect and whatever. But I guess I am just saying that we can all calm down a little bit. A man has unfortunately died, just like a million other people died this week. This one just happened to get mentioned on Twitter. (And as far as this particular comment is concerned, uh, it's true? 36 year olds don't just die for no reason. Something happened. It's perhaps a little blunt and a little on the nose, but it's pretty obvious speculation that is only encouraged by silence. If Dan Gordon-Levitt's death wasn't being talked about, then perhaps these speculations would be invasive of privacy, but I don't think that's the case here, and I hardly think Bubbles went overboard with it, so let us cut him or her a break for responding in a pretty standard way to the world we all live in.)]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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topknot | Oct 5th | Score:82 | |
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Spoiler Alert: the meat was red the whole time. |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Bruce Willis Meat Hat | |||
[Ed. note: Congratulations, topknot. You earned it!]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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wherewolf | Oct 7th | Score:15 | |
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This is without a doubt the hardest decision I will ever make. |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Song Contest: The Finalists | |||
[Ed. note: Oh man, I know, right? Seriously, you guys really killed it on the Videogum Song Contest. If you haven't already, please remember to go listen to all the finalists and vote for your favorite. And if you've already done that, then please just go listen again. Very great. Very songs. How is the pie, indeed.]
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I missed that Poochie referencing 2nd Place comment this week, well done!
It really is the gif that keeps on giving.
Note: gif will cease giving until the 17th when my Photobucket account resets.
*slow clap for Gabe*
Speaking of the song contest, can we have a videogum video contest? we can set limits on minutes, like make each short film exactly 2 minutes long or something, and/or stick to a theme, like a popular commentator meme or some such. I am not asking on my own behalf as I have no video camcorder nor do I intend to submit to your petty contests, I would just like to see what you people submit later
“Limits on minutes” is the new “kittens with mittens”
I just wanted an excuse to post this again.
I do not understand why this is not the topvoted comment of all time. DOES NOT COMPUTE.
It does make sense to have a video competition on a website called…videogum.
Hey Huck, mind if I call you Huck Mr. Beast? You killed it this week, now your best friend and my best friend are gonna dance
Set up a time for me, you, Elmo, and NPH to go party some night and you can call me anything you want.
And thanks!
Hey Huck, just in case you missed what I posted earlier this week:
You’re popular on the Cal campus.
I totally forgot about those when I went there. Omens of my future internet fiance much?
Incredible likeness.
Can we not be both Monster and Internet Commenter, Bing? Also: HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND EVERYONE!
Three Day Weekend for Orthodox Holiday Employees!!!
Fall Break for those attending the university I happen to be a student of!!!
anyone else notice how much porn-y stuff there is in gifsoup? that shit’s gunna get me in trouble one of these days….
The tension was extreme, but the smell – the smell was unapproachable.
Well said friend. I feel relaxed now. Let’s go get drunk!
I’ll be starting out at the Heidelberg if anyone wants to join me!
So as Baby Friday and were leaving town this afternoon to go to a fall fair, we definitely listened to “We Monsters” as we pulled out of the neighborhood. Baby Friday later confessed to listening to it again on her iPod as we were working out in the hotel.
So yeah. THAT is our Autumn Jam.
Um, must know now how you got it on your iPod.
Unless you’re being funny and don’t really have it on your iPod. In which case, ha ha ha! Technology!
As I typed this, a song by Eve 6 came up on my iPod shuffle songs mix. So, that should tell you about my ability to edit the songs on my iPod.
(by the way, We Monsters >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> anything by Eve 6)
helds, follow the link below and click download. It should automatically come up in your iTunes:
http://soundcloud.com/videogum/lawblog-we-monsters
The future is here, my friend, and it is hilarious.
Hey teacherman, how come I can’t download your song from Sound Cloud? I would like to listen to it while I rest my head on the tram window and pretend my life is an indie movie.
Right?
PS Teacherman has a sexy voice, like Caleb Followill yelping.
I was able to download all the other songs except for your’s, Teacherman. And I heart it so. Anyone have any tips?
I might be wrong but I think it was because it was taken from youtube instead of an MP3. Maybe when Teacherman & Babyfriday do the Video for it we can haz an mp3 as well?
So, couple of things:
1.) Thank ya….thank ya very much!
2.) Here’s the youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=Lh81je3mDoo You can go to http://www.video2mp3.net/ and convert the file to an mp3. The site is pretty safe (I have used it a few times) and the whole process takes about 2-3 minutes.
3.) Caleb Followill? *blushes*
Oh Teacherman, you live up to your name. My Sunday morning – nay, my entire autumn – is complete now.
Now, I just have to figure out how to download Lawblog so we can get married and have witty babies. (no stalko)
Although I now have to work out the placement for We Monsters on my iTunes music list because it goes straight from that into “Starving Robins” by Horse Feathers. BUZZKILL.
(still no stalko)
I want to put the top down and cruise the streets listening to ‘We Monsters’ at full volume. Except I drive a Hyundai Accent and I don’t own a hacksaw. Dreams.
I am still so impressed by all the songs. I am for sure making a mix tape with all of them on it this weekend. I think I will call it “Monster Jamz 0-10, biiiiiiiiiiiiitch.”
You guys are all my autumn jams.
Lawblog, I’d be ashamed to tell you how many times I’ve already listened to your song (I mean, it’s 70% because I got a shout-out), but it’s an awesome song, so I don’t feel like there’s any shame in it.
(I also listen to my husband’s song, okay? Don’t judge me, you guys.)
i know it’s friday, but this has been a real stressful week. i am looking forward to releasing some serious tension this weekend. don’t you just HATE white people problems?
Damn it feels good to be a monster.
I know! I feel like work really cut into my VG time this week. ugh!
i haven’t been this disoriented with an erection since i got an HJ at six flags in 9th grade.
That was you?!
Wow — this exchange made milk squirt out of my nose and I haven’t had milk in months.
On a low-fart diet, are you?
This is why i love this site.
This cracking me up big time. They have the same look on their face!
At this point The Office might as well give her a try
I’m sure it would give her plenty of friggin’ personal satisfaction.
She can be the new boss!
Hahaha nice one!
Have great weekends, everyone!! I’m going to have a dance party to the song contest nominees!!
I want to pinch that cat’s nose it is so cute.
Wow, my song made the finals and I won the caption contest! Everything’s coming up topknot!
“J.O.R.T.S.” has been on repeat in my head since last night. Masterpiece. Nobel Prize for Bodyrockin’.
Which one will I chooooooose? Bugle Boy or Anchor Bluuuuuues?
That was not my favorite song, but I really appreciate the listing of Jorts-appropriate brands. There are a lot of denim labels in the world, but only a select few cater to wearers of Jorts.
I’m truly glad you noticed that. I wish I could say my selection of brands was the result of careful sociocultural research. The reality is that I just thought back to my junior high wardrobe.
J.O.R.T.S. is stuck in my noggin like peanut butter on the roof of Mr. Ed’s mouth.
True to that. JORTS is my jam.
If I’d only had another hour I could have made it to the ball this week.
On the upside I got to leave work early today. To celebrate and console myself I’m going to share this cuteness with everyone:
That comment made the Monsters Ball of my heart, but can we all upvote this comment by DuckDuck so he can get into the Monsters Ball next week, he defiently earned it.
Fear not! DuckDuck’s fantastic comment should already be in the running for next week.
Congratulations on leaving work and I hope El Guapo notices you.
Thanks guys!! (Psst- Not that it matters, but I don’t have a penis.)
quokkas! nice!
My first Monster’s Ball! I’m a real monster now! Though I have to say, I didn’t envision my first time to be premised on a complaint. I suppose all first times are bittersweet.
Congrats, CindiLightballoon! This was my first Monster’s Ball as well! I was just scrolling along, nodding in approval and giggling at how great these top comments, when BAM! my silly little comment was listed under Editor’s Choice!
I think I got way more excited than what cool kids, with real lives, would deem appropriate.
But that’s okay– I love you guys! Group hug!
Wow. Bangs are NOT a good look for Kate Hudson.
I don’t know what you guys will be up to this weekend, but I’m going to work on my own choreography for “We Monsters” and post it on YouTube.
Thanks, Gabe. I don’t relish being the week’s lowest rated comment, especially when I didn’t mean the comment to be filled with any kind of malice towards Dan Gordon-Levitt. I’ve lost loved ones to suicide and drug overdoses, and they’ve all been younger than Dan was when he died (as am I). I was simply commenting on the obvious, which seems to have turned out to be true, that a guy who clearly traveled in hippie circles got involved in things which often lead to early death. It *is* sad, and I wish the Gordon-Levitt family well, but I thought I was simply stating the obvious there.
You don’t need to prove your tsuriss bona fides, we were going to approve of your objection without it. I agree with you a lot.*
*I’m so sorry if I’m making no sense, it’s Friday night #logic
At least you made the first step towards an EGOT.
I am just so full of Spiderman 3 pie right now, with all the AMAZINGNESS going on in the Song Contest. Like, I’ll listen to one and be like “This is the best thing that’s ever happened. No wait, this is the best thing in history. No wait I never want to stop listening to this.”
Just saying I LOVE YOU ALL you raise the quality of my life exponentially
Cool post. Seriously.
This week was the craziest week since I’ve been commentating. We had really big highs like the contest, lego sad Keannu and the return of 2 rap legends. Then we had some sads like the DAG thing, the Oxfarm thing and the crazy hearse lady thing. I have nothing to add to that I just wanted to make that observation.
EVERYTHING IS PERFECT
superbluebird, you are the MVP of Friday. Maybe the whole weekend? Eh, let’s let the weekend play out first, but I think you got it on lock.
I would love to see you in some o’ dem boots.
Best I could do.
I think that’s the best any of us could do. The Very Best.
earlier this year a friend of mine died in really bizarre circumstances. bizarre enough to be picked up by a few really high-traffic blogs. bizarre enough for seemingly straight-forward posts to be made about it, but it was pretty obvious no one would be posting about it unless they were making fun of it. and the comments on most of those blogs were ruthless.
i don’t know exactly what my point is, except i have firmly been on both sides – i’ve read posts about tragic but kinda hilarious things that i have chuckled at and then never thought of again. but the posts i read about my friends death? the ones that hundreds of people commented on and made jokes about? i will remember them forever. it will be part of my memory of her, forever. and that sucks.
It’s a truism to say that a lot of horrid stuff is written off the cuff by people who don’t recognise, or don’t care to recognise the connection between internet world and the real world. They don’t realise that it’s not just them shouting out crap into the void, but that other people are out there listening. I suppose it all comes down to the shiny flickery screen of the computer dulling their compassion.
On videogum, yes, people do occasionally say what they mean awkwardly, or maybe are a little crass in their jokes, but if it’s over the line of decency there is an intelligent and measured response to it. And lots of downvotes. Public shaming/reflection time in the stocks of the monsters ball.
I don’t know what I’m saying, just maybe trying to reach out and say I think you’re with friends in this corner of the internet, thoughtlessness of a vocal few is just that, something to be sort of pitied for its slapdash ignorance (life is lived in moments of attentiveness) and that Ihope time, and support from those closest to you, will help.
amateur psychology hour is now over. Apologies!
Agreed. The apparent lack of empathy in anonymous internet users is quite unsettling.
Are you really basing all that on about six comments that were admittedly insensitive? about 99.9% of videogum comments are civilized and friendly. If you find that ratio unsettling, you are a true pessimist.
Signed in just to upvote, Lakonislate. One of the most appealing things about this site is that people aren’t vicious, or senseless. I love me some Monsters, particularly after this week.
That blows dude im sorry
That was supposed to be a reply to above comment…
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
I think you need to look up the difference between “taking responsibility for” and “being proud of”. Gabe made fun of a famous actor’s goofy brother, that brother dies and Gabe says: “Remember that guy I once made fun of? He passed away.” That’s literally all that post was, people here need to get over themselves.
ugh
Sounds like some one didn’t get an invite into Gabe’s bouncy castle.
I’m kinda upset that no #tiredmovies made it on this week.
I am lonely. I am depressed. What friends I do have in real life are all at least an hour away from me. I literally live an empty life of meaningless work with absolutely nothing to look forward to on a regular basis.
What I do look forward to?
The Monster’s Ball.
So thank you.
I wish I could give you a hug right now.
This is for you
Make sure you reach out to those real life friends (I call them ‘huggables’) as often as you can. You’ll find an hour is not that far away!
In the meantime, people are always happy to e-talk here. It’s amazing how much talking to someone – anyone can remind you how great you (most probably) are!
And, I’d like to remind you (given your avatar) that the puppy bowl is only a few months away. That is DEFINITELY something to look forward to.