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Things were definitely looking a little sticky there for awhile when the 900 year old woman called in to a television show to give some kind of nightmarishly backwards assessment of modern race relations in which she explained that black people need to start being more grateful for “all the things” that white people have done for them, and they really need to let go of the whole “slavery” thing, especially considering that WASN’T EVEN THE TOPIC. Yikes. I was pretty sure the jury was going to deliver a straight-forward guilty verdict after zero hours of deliberation. But then, right at the end, like some kind of Alan Dershowitz, she explained that she was not racist. So. Obviously, if this were a REAL court of law, she would have had to amend the phrase “I rest my case, your honor,” for the case to be fully rested, but considering this was just C-SPAN, she basically rested her case like a Legal Eagle. (Via BuzzFeed.)
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They really shouldn’t let Betty Draper make her own phone calls anymore.
We gave them a free shack to live in while they were picking our cotton
That guy needs a hug so bad.
His face around 27 seconds in (where he briefly considers unleashing hell) is priceless.
She SAID “colored.” Isn’t that what They want to be called now? And do we have to mention the vote? In her day, “colored” people certainly weren’t voting.
That kid sitting behind him must have asked the same question.
I have watched C-Span on several occasions and I can say with 100% certainty they do not hire anyone to screen the calls. One morning I was watching a man talk about Mitch McConnell and more than one call-in asked about Ted Kennedy and his support for eugenics.
Well, who else would I ask about that? Google? Pfft, Mans, you mad.
“Ask not what white people can do for you, but what you can do for white people.”
I am not a witch.
Oh god, she’s me!
I’m not a racist! I keep food stamps in my wallet!
That woman’s 73-yr-old daughter is going to spend her Saturday driving up to mom’s house, dropping off a frozen pork pie and unplugging all of the phones. Her Sunday will be spent in the garden, planting crocuses and tulips and such, to forget.
Snapple Real Fact #45: Leni Riefenstahl’s ghost can use a phone.
“I had nothing to do with the content of the call. I only dialed the number, held up the receiver and spoke into it.” –Leni
I’m not an ageist, but shouldn’t old people be grateful for all we do for them? We put them in a nice home, we visit them occasionally, we put up with their batshit crazy racist comments. I mean c’mon lady
We also let them endanger our lives by allowing them to drive their ridiculously over-sized vehicles until they inevitably end up plowing through a crowded farmers market or driving off the 2nd story of a parking garage.
Traffic laws were invented by a black man.
that’s your embarassing racist grandma.
or in gabe’s case….embarassing racist ex-girlfriend.
I hate it when my grandma calls my boyfriend’s television program to ask him racist questions and claim that they are non-racist comments. On the plus side my boyfriend is well restrained and handsome!
She probably left him for a bla–never mind.
“Your honor, may it please the Court, I think the essential issue here is the fact that all night long I have to sit up in my house watching out the windows, armed for my safety, as these black and Mexicans and Irish run around in my yard, blowing on their novelty horns and flashing bright orange lights. Sometimes they ride around on small ponies or maybe even a very fast turtle. In the morning, my grass is all tore up and there are potatoes everywhere. Now, I am asking this court to enter an order stopping these invasions and also finding that I have done so much for these folks, some of which are Mormon, that they should be thanking me.”
“Counselor, what does that have to do with whether or not your client installed the garage door properly?”
“I rest my case your honor.”
“I rest my case.”
“You rest your case?!”
“What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.”
Those scientists conducting the Tuskegee Experiment did not give those men syphilis. But, bright side, they did give some of them penicillin! That’s like, doubleplusgood.
My mouth was LITERALLY hanging open!
wasityournightmare?
she probably thought she was actually being sensitive.
also. one time i was driving through alabama and i stopped by a cotton field and got out and picked a piece, then drove off…wasn’t that bad…
I know that I, for one, wake up each and every day thanking our government for having the restraint not to enslave me. Because I know how to be grateful, unlike a certain C-Span host.
We need to get her to sign on here at VG as a Monster. Her comments would bring a fresh new voice.
“Why aren’t you colored people grateful for all my upvotes?”
“I’ve given you free upvotes, free gifs, free everything.”
Somebody disconnect Ann Coulter’s phone please.
I think she meant to say, “How was your flight?”
Would’ve been better if she’d said, “I’d like to ask the colored man a question (no racist).”
Oh come on guys, the callers aren’t that bad. This guy knows:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YRQlUsdA3U
“You should change you name from C-SPAN to Black-SPAN!”
C-Span was the only place left for white people. Now where will we go? C-Span 2? HELL NO!
“There are so many black people on TV!” -direct quote, I kid you not, from my paternal grandmother at age 76. (And by the exclamation point I mean to indicate a tone of shock and contempt that only extreme racists seem able to pull off.)
I had to quell my desire to impale myself with one of her Royal Doulton figurines. Does anyone else feel tempted to strongly associate the c-word with their elderly relatives?
I once found the use of “colored” confusing. I worked at a movie theater, and an old woman called and asked what time the movies I played. I told her, because I had nothing better to do with my day. Each movie, she asked what it was about. When I started to describe Stomp the Yard, she asked “Is that that colored one?” I almost told her it with confusion, “Uh, ma’am, they are all in color.” But then I figured it out, and I was sad.
“If the whie man wiggles the knife out only six inches, thank him forever and never ask him for anything again” -Malcolm X, if Malcolm X was This Lady
I racist my case.
I think that the main issue is timing. Now had the african americans been given welfare and medicine FIRST, and then been subjugated to 400 hundred years of slavery and oppression, it’d probably be like, “well, before we get mad at those white people, lets not forget about all that nice welfare and delicious medicine that they were so nice to begrudgingly give us.” Old people say the darnedest things
I know a lot of old people. Most old people don’t have awesome speaking voices like the lady in this clip. Unfortunately, I’ve met lots of old people who still don’t know the difference between Asian and Oriental, but I have yet to meet some old person who still refers to African Americans as “colored”. Kinda thinking this is a fake call.
It looks as if he is feeling sleepy, I mean that is why he has closed this eyes…
Mojoblast