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Seems to me like someone needs to look up the definitions of the following words: “tricky,” “sneaky,” and “booby traps.” Because what I am seeing here are more like “sad pointless indulgences of paranoia.” I do like to imagine what happens when someone sets these tricky sneaky booby traps (which, again, are neither tricky, nor sneaky, nor booby traps) and finds their booby trap (not a booby trap) triggered. Sample:
Trapper: HEY! DID YOU GO IN THIS CLOSET?
Trappee: Yeah, I was looking for a towel.
Trapper: AHA! I THOUGHT SO. NAY, I KNEW SO. YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE PAINSTAKINGLY MADE SURE THAT THIS CLOSET DOOR WAS EXACTLY ONE QUARTER’S-WIDTH OPEN, BUT I DID, AND NOW THE CLOSET DOOR IS CLOSED, PROVIDING ME WITH THE INFORMATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE CLOSET.
Trappee: Yeah, I was in the closet.
Trapper: I KNOW!
Trappee: Now what?
Trapper: I’M NOT SURE. BUT YOU BETTER NOT HAVE ALSO TAKEN 45 CENTS OUT OF MY TERMINATOR 2 COMMEMORATIVE TRAVEL MUG.
Of course, the real tricky sneaky booby trap of this video is how they promise to provide a very clever way to prevent people from taking one dollar (ONE DOLLAR!) out of your wallet, only to not provide a clever way at all. Put it in your pocket or “lock it up.” Right. You got me. Uncle. (Thanks for the tip, Brian.)
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Well, this guy is screwed:
His roommate is gonna be pissed
They’re both pointing at Topher Grace!
Yikes! They always gotta make it difficult
They caught him taking cat hair off their burgers.
This guy is gonna be pissed when he finds out his mom has been going through his sock drawer while he’s out LARPing.
I love how you tagged Terminator 2 Mugs
I don’t know why I bothered to do this
So I could sign in just to upvote it, obviously.
I’m inclined to believe that Christian Bale/John Connor was actually broadcasting Tricky Sneaky Boobie Traps to the human resistance instead of Tricky Sneaky T-800 Traps.
Best part of this video at 1:50.
Pffft. I learned the hair trick from Misery. I also learned the kidnap-and-torture-a-famous-author trick from Misery. Luckily, I doubt anyone will miss Nicholas Sparks.
“Okay, I’ll keep writing.” -Nicholas Sparks
“Oh, I’m sorry. You totally misunderstand why I’ve kidnapped you and have you tied down.” –Lil Bobby Tables
And broke your hands.
and 007
I learned these tricks, and more!, from James Bond novels, and the Hardy Boys.
The Hardy Boys also taught me that if you are being tied up, you flex your muscles and expand your body so as to make yourself bigger and then more able to slip out of the rope.
The counter to this is when you are trying someone up, you punch them in the gut to make them exhale and cripple up, then tie them. This I learned from experience.
“No body best take my change. It’s all I have. And whose been looking at my Kraft Singles?”
The level of unspoken paranoia here is making me sad.
This video is also inaccurate, because obviously that T2 mug should be full of pennies.
Honestquestiongum: who is this guy trying to catch? Is it people who live with him? Because maybe you shouldn’t live with people who you feel the need to booby trap against. Just sayin’.
Maybe this video is for bald, aging, panhandling, alcoholics who are forced to have roommates. Don’t judge!
…and who obviously have cats.
Actually that was his roommate’s cat. Fortunately, his roommate had his cat boobytrapped, so he’ll be able to tell the cat’s been tampered with.
Who could easily trip all of the booby traps.
Lady Glittermittens really needs to lay off the vodka.
Thank god I have never had to deal with an alcoholic pet. The dog who I am the godfather of used to be a fiend for weed, before he realized that 1) I wasn’t letting him get any and 2) I would pet him nonstop if he hung out with me afterwards, so there was no need for him to have any anyways.
She is the first thing that came to mind when I read “booby traps.”
Pictured: Notsewfast’s buffet*
*Apologies
They certainly have me ensnared.
I’m at work, so I don’t have speakers on my computer, or else people would know I never do ANYTHING. But watching this without sound is the greatest art video ever. Going from the Vodka bottle, to pulling out his own hair, to brushing his cat. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
yeah, i do that too
Seriously, can someone tell us what we are supposed to do with the vodka bottle? 2 lines? and that will stop someone from replacing the vodka with water? I won’t be able to listen until 6 PM and IT WILL BE TOO LATE BY THEN.
You mark your vodka right side up and vodka thieves might catch on and fill it up to the line with water!
So you turn it upside down and make a line, so when the vodka thieves show up and steal your vodka then want to fill it with water to make it seem like no one has touched the vodka, they’ll fill most of the bottle with water and ruin all your vodka! Boobytrapped!
Tricky Sneaky Rooneytrap!
“Now, if you are worried about people opening up your drawers and trying on your socks, get a strong spring, a sawed off shotgun and a piece of string. Make sure you don’t aim the shotgun at the face. Don’t want to kill the, just ruin their hands so they learn to never get in your clothing again.”
I thought Katko v. Briney 183 N.W.2d 657 (1971) was the first and last time I would ever hear about a spring-loaded shotgun. I was wrong….so wrong.
It’s times like these I wish I still had my student LexisNexis account.
Psssh, WestLaw 4evah.
I knew there was a good reason to hang on to my hole-punched paper circle collection.
” and if you find that some one is drinking your milk…..”
You’re the best.
ahhh shucks. thanks
Oh darn. I wish I saw this an hour earlier. I just got home (it’s night time in Melbourne – where everything is topsy-turvy and we’re 10 hours in the FUUUTUUURE) and caught a dude trying to break into my car (this is true). Called the police and he’s in a cell for a whole bunch of other shit he stole tonight. What makes this better (not better) is that it’s my birthday today (also true).
Anyway, my point is I bet Mr Tricky Sticky Booby traps or whatever could have some pointers. What bait should you use on a heroin addict with a coathanger?
Thanks Huckabeast. You’re the Huckabest.
Smack and a coat obviously.
Fellow Melbourne monster!
Hooray. I’m not the only one.
So this is what it feels like when doves cry.
It’d have to be at least 4 people (you, me, Le Fou, one other person for optimism’s sake) which is totally a good size for a Monster Meet Up, right?
Also, props for Bayifying Flinders St station! (Props? Who am I?)
me too! represent!
Huzzah for not being the only one whose Summer Jams are actually going to be Videogum’s Winter Jams!
So hey, as much as I feel weird about trying to move the blog-world to the real world, do you think there’s scope for a Melbourne Monster’s Ball at some point in the future?
There have to be some others. Surely. Videogum can go international.
This way, it’s not only the NYC and Chicago Monsters who get all the non-interwebs fun.
Whaddyu think?
So I can’t photoshop but I used this piece of shit:
On the Matt Damon scale of tricky-sneakiness, this is much more Stuck on You than Jason Bourne.
I’ve been worried someone’s been snooping in my email, so I took his advice and taped a hair between the “Username” and “Password” fields. It’s fool-proof!
This video make me think of my friend who quit his job because he thought his bosses were poisoning his sodas (I wish it stopped there, that was one of the less paranoid things he’s done recently don’t do drugs kids.)
So do you think if I sent him this video, he’d be insulted or grateful?
I was thinking my sister’s husband might actually like this too, but he is so paranoid, I think it might insult him. He thinks that the NFL is a government plot to keep our mind’s off of our money so that the government can steal it from us. As with your friend, this is only the tip of the iceberg of his paranoia.
Your sister’s husband needs to take a lesson from Dr. Dre and Snoop.
Are you saying he needs to smoke weed??? Because, if you are, he’s way ahead of you.
Hmm, paranoid.
Back in 2000, I was moving out of town but had a lag time of a month between my lease ending and my departure. So I moved in with a guy I knew from work who I didn’t know very well, but seemed cool.
The first night, we’re sitting around having a few and he asks me what I think about the new world order.
I say it’s not Ministry’s best song, but it’s cool if he wants to put it on.
“That’s not what I mean,” he says.
“Oh, I get you. I don’t really watch wrestling,” I say.
Nope.
20 minutes later, I have the tequila bottle sitting in my lap as I listen to something about black helicopters and while he seems to think he’s found a kindred spirit, I’m just taking slugs and thinking, “it’s just a month. It’s only one month…”
I was moving to rural Alabama. The year before 9/11.
Was your friend Bobby Fischer?
Think your teenager may be sneaking out at night? Dig a pit in front of their bedroom window, and fill it with sharpened bamboo sticks! Cover that hole with branches and leaves. If you wake to their mangled corpse, you know they’ve been sneaking out! TRICKY and SNEAKY!
Yeesh! Couldn’t we start a little less harsh, like maybe just one of those tension-loaded rope leg snares or whatever. “If you wake up to your teenager hanging upside down outside his room, you know they’ve been sneaking out! STICKY!”
Are you a paranoid jack-ass that loathes and distrusts your room-mate(s)? Do you bogart your small change, clothes, and groceries? Are you bald, but have a cat , a hole punch, and scotch tape? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this video is for you!
And PS. You have no sex life!
He put an end to it after a hole punch fell out this one time…
Oh Internet, always with the teaching me mad skillz that would’ve come in handy a couple of decades too late.
“What’s for dinner Mom? The confetti on the floor tells me you’ve been opening the fridge, when the ingredients for spaghetti tacos are located entirely within the pantry”. – Eight year old me of the future (huh?), about to put an end to the reign of broccoli and fucking brussel sprouts once and for all.
I can’t really keep my wallet in my pocket if it’s already inside this giant fake rock, LOL
Ah, but then you’d have a rock(et) in your pocket.
Yeah, I know. But I tried.
Keeping your wallet in your pocket really doesn’t seem like it goes far enough. I would recommend keeping your wallet in your pocket AND taping cat hair all over your pants. Just to be sure.
That’s why there’s cat hair all over MY pants. I’m not a sad weird gay man who talks to his cat. I’m a SECURITY EXPERT.
To be fair, I would have been totally into these tricks when I was eight. Does this gentleman provide a video of hilarious knock-knock jokes as well? Because my eight-year-old self is totally there. Rad!
I’m pretty sure I saw Kevin use all these tricks on the Wet Bandits in Home Alone
No, the system is flawed! They tried the cat hair trick in 1984, but Big Brother just replaced the cat hair! What you have to do is tape a second cat hair perpendicular to the first cat hair, and tuck it under the first cat hair! Then you will know FOR SURE if the first cat hair was tampered with!
This guy could learn a thing or two from General Akbar. If I were a better man, I would put up a pic of the good general to go along with this but…..
I’m an Admiral!!!
It’s like the highest ranking thing you can be!!!
I would take his change & leave the marked quarter in the T2 cup. Then blame it on Cybernetics or Skynet