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The nation roils with political unrest as frustration with our elected leaders reaches an all-time high*. The pundits debate what will happen at the polls this fall. A woman in Arkansas wanted to change her first name to “Republican” (LOL). And yet! Amidst all of this confusion and inflamed passion and distrust, our government has managed to rally together and create an historic piece of legislative progress. From the AP:
The Senate unanimously passed a bill late Wednesday to require television stations and cable companies to keep commercials at the same volume as the programs they interrupt.
The House has passed similar legislation. Before it can become law, minor differences between the two versions have to be worked out when Congress returns to Washington after the Nov. 2 election.
Now I know what Benjamin Franklin must have felt like when he got Syphilis from all of those French prostitutes swelled with syphilis pride at the future and potential of this great nation! America! Goodnight, COMMUNISTS!
*Or at least a very high? I don’t know! I’m not a herstory scientist. It’s high!
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Looks like the Peter Francis Geraci lobby dropped the ball on this one. #regionaljokes
FINALLY! my god! now if we could just do something about all the mexicans.
I don’t get that joke but I’m upvoting it anyway because ladyboner.
And they wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.
After hearing the news, the Beeper King was found soaking in a bathtub with a fully-charged 2 way pager.
I’m secretly glad about this development. I feel as old as Gabe when commercials come booming on during Mad Men and scare me. Why are they so loud?!
I jump every time!
They were my only exercise.
Me too! I’ve taken to automatically muting them b/c of this. Also, apparently I’m an old woman.
Or the ones that look like the show is back! If you wear a sharp suit in mid-century modern office, I will stop my DVR. Don Draper wins/loses again!
Those make me so angry. My husband likes them, though. I always feel so…used.
Down with Tivo tricking ads! (My slogan for Senator Tankerbell in 2012)
You’ve got my vote! As long as you also address traffic stop slavery.
Same here babby.
Don’t get your hopes up too much. Something similar was passed here in the Netherlands a few years ago, but commercials still appear loud as hell. A friend of mine who is studying studio engineering told me that if you mix out all the low frequencies, it still sounds really loud, but its actually at the same decibel level.
The media: always finding ways to screw us over.
I also heard (in college, because media studies) that ads aren’t really any louder than TV shows, it’s just that they’re “redlined” through the entire ad, while TV shows only hit that volume (or is it amplitude) a few times every few minutes so it’s not as obtrusive.
Next they will pass a law making it a crime for An American Patriot to mix all-caps with regular-volume words. Where will it end?
2012
Gabe, I hope by “Good Night, Communists,” you mean “Hello Socialist Nightmare Empire!”
This is clearly the Federal Government overstepping its limited role, unconstitutionally, and interfering with the free market!
If people don’t like the volume of commercials, they can watch other things or read books. Since people still sit and watch “Two and A Half Men”, commercials and all, while smearing their numbed lips with the powdery remains of a long since empty bag of Cheetos, it tells me that the people, and the invisible hand of the market, want this.
ANOTHER WIN FOR THE NANNY STATE!
Who said what now?
Mmmm…Cheetos.
I can only imagine the INSANE phone calls retirees bombarded Congressional offices with….
“Good morning, Congressman/Senator _____’s office.”
“STOP THESE GOD DAMNED COMMERCIALS FROM BEING SO LOUD!”
“I’m sorry sir, I can’t understand you, could you speak a little softer please?”
“I AM NOT A MAN, I AM AN 85 YEAR OLD WOMAN. I’VE RAISED 6 CHILDREN SUPPORTED WHILE THAT BASTARD DRANK AND GAMBLED ALL OUR MONEY AWAY!”
*muffled shouts from background*
“SHUT UP FRANK, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I’LL SWEAR I’LL SMOTHER YOU WITH THAT PILLOW.”
“I am SO sorry ma’am. I’m happy to hear you have such a lovely family but I really need to ask you to lower your volume.”
“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU WORK FOR ME!!! MY TAXES PAY YOUR SALARY SO YOU LISTEN TO ME! i WAS READIN’ ON THAT INTERNET ABOUT WHAT YOU WASHINGTON HOT SHOTS ARE UP TO AND I DON’T LIKE IT! SO YOU FIX THESE DAMNED COMMERCIALS OR YOU’LL BE LOOKIN’ FER A JOB IN NOVEMBER!!!!”
*click*
“You have a pleasant day too, you old bitch.”
*goes back to reading Videogum*
#FormerHillEmployeeGum
My grandpa and I can finally agree on something Congress did!
Give me your tired, your bored. Your huddled masses yearning to listen to television commercials at reasonable volumes,. The wretched refuse during the breaks of your teeming Jersey Shore.
This actually makes me really happy. In other news, I am a 73-year old trapped in a 23-year old’s body. Now if you’ll excuse me, Rite Aid has a sale for Centrum Silver multivitamin.
Now how will my wife and I continue to have these amazing conversations during commercial breaks:
Me: I love you, you are the light of my life. Each day that passes I feel grateful for having known you.
Her: WHAT?
Me: WE NEED TO BUY A MAGIC BULLET!
TV has just given up the man responsible. his defense:
“I was told to play them at a reasonable volume.”
“Thanks?” – people still without heathcare, gays, and immigrants who are discriminated against.
I want to take all of my upvotes and put them here.
I’ve never wanted to be an american more! Oh, just to imagine what it would be like, to live in a place where I don’t need to worry about the volume of my TV when the commercials start playing. Just whole hours without even reaching for the remote! I guess dreams do come true (for some, I’m still not american).
Where’s the American flag??
Now if they’ll just do something about those damn Free Credit Report.com commercials all of our problems will be solved.
Bravo! Been thumping my walking cane about this one for years. Will Europe dare to follow?
May I posit a Conspiracy Theory based on little understanding of how things work? Thanks. When shows are recorded, the recorder can tell between commercials and shows by the Sound Volume Signature. With similar Sound Volume Signatures, it will be harder for the recording machines to designate between the actual show and the commercials, thus making it more difficult to skip or fast forward through the commercials. This is Government and Big Business working together to thwart us private citizens yet again.