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On last night’s episode of Modern Family, the gay couple, Mitchell and Cameron had a very brief and understated homosexual kiss. THAT’S RIGHT. Two dudes kissed each other ON TELEVISION. The issue of Mitchell and Cameron’s sexless relationship was a hotbed of blogtroversy last season because people were outraged that a gay couple would be shown to live together and be raising a child together and yet never engage in any kind of outward affection. Fair enough! That’s a totally reasonable thing to be kind of bothered by! The furor was pretty short lived as hints of “the kiss episode” started appearing as early as last May. And now it is here and people are working very hard to figure out what it all MEANS.
The truth is, it probably doesn’t mean that much, and it probably shouldn’t mean that much?
One has to give Modern Family credit for downplaying the kiss, which appears in the background, and is insubstantial and inconsequential. Yes! Because that is what kissing between two long-term domestic partners is: insubstantial and inconsequential. And it is a mark of the world we live in that an insubstantial, inconsequential kiss on a sitcom is a THING that people REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT. It is certainly a good thing, it seems, to have three dimensional gay characters on a TV show who represent an aspect of gay life that isn’t all horse tranquilizers and “manscaping” jokes (although I do think we as a culture can move past the homosexual-obsession-with-Liza thing as “sophisticated-gay” humor touchstone). But, personally, I always get a little weirded out when a lot of noise is made about a thing that we all agree shouldn’t be a big deal in the first place. Do you know what I mean? Like, if we’re all on Team Who Cares when it comes to honest depictions of homosexuals in popular culture, then it feels like planting the Victory Flag in the Morality Dirt (this metaphor is getting VERY good) actually sort of makes the other side’s point. Everything that is triumphed as a win becomes the opposition’s loss (and every loss makes one wish to fight harder). (And it should be noted that subtle background kisses in third-act scenes on primetime sitcoms rarely move the needle in terms of Actual Bigotry.)
Look, I’m not saying that we don’t live in a nightmare world of unfounded and indefensible hatred borne of the fear that we’re all going to die EVEN IF WE ARE STRAIGHT. We do live in that world. (Especially lately, unfortunately.) And I don’t mean to suggest that there are not very real triumphs to be had in the eternal war between good and evil. There are! And maybe I’m wrong (JUST KIDDING, NOT POSSIBLE), and maybe this is one of those incredible things that we’re going to tell our grandchildren about, right after the story of how Barack Obama came to be the first disappointing black president. I’m just saying that we should be careful! Of granting too much power to a thing that ultimately is just correct. Because that’s what the gay kiss on Modern Family is. It’s not actually a brave step from a forward-thinking show (I mean, it is, but also:) as much as it is just THE RIGHT FUCKING WAY TO DEPICT HUMAN LIFE ON THIS PLANET, KIND OF, I MEAN, I ALSO KNOW WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT AN ABC SITCOM SO LET’S NOT GET TOO CARRIED AWAY. If you believe that equality is simply the way that things must be (MUST, not SHOULD), then it is clear that gestures towards equality don’t need a pat on the back. A pat on the back is insulting to the very notion of real equality. Just saying.
On a somewhat separate note: now that Modern Family has won Emmy Awards for Excellence and is getting incredibly high ratings, can we stop pretending that a prime time sitcom full of veteran comic actors on a fucking Big Three Network is an “underdog.” I don’t know what that was all about, but enough of that.
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How about a spoiler alert next time? DVR status: tainted.
amen
To quote much of America:
To Reply (to much of America. Not to you, Werttrew. Never you):
Shuuuuuuuuut Uuuuuuuuup.
Seriously, America. Please shut the fuck up.
Fake gays.
Maybe I have been living under a rock, but I didn’t even realize that Cam and Mitchell having not kissed was “a thing.” I hadn’t even realized that had never kissed. So last night when they did kiss, it wasn’t a big deal to me (not that it should be).
I never realized they hadn’t kissed, either. I suppose I just never thought their relationship needed some sort of “validation” or whatever. I mean, do people need to be kissing on our faces all the time for us to believe they are a “real” couple?
I know! It’s not like they show the hetero-married couple having sloppy makeouts all the time. And they definitely don’t show Al Bundy and the hot Colombian licking each other’s ear lobes, so who really gives a shit?
I thought they dealt with it fairly, and without knowing anything about this CONTROVERSY, I just thought it was a good episode.
It’s funny that you mention that, because Jay and Gloria had not had an on-screen kiss until that episode, but no one noticed.
I say we stage a kiss in.
i would watch the shit outta this movie!
I broke my finger with upvoting.
Also, Gabe you’re my fave, and we as a people are terrible about changing up the terminology every couple years, but ‘homosexual’ is an adjective. Tea Party Activists and people from the American Family Association call individual people ‘homosexuals.’
It is hard to keep up with the terminology. I just found out that, as a mostly straight girl/gay rights activist, that I would actually identify as queer. Which is fun. I had no idea that “homosexual” didn’t describe individual people. Duly noted.
So does this mean Jodie gets to go into the UFO with Burt?
I’m so old.
andrew shirvell just started a new blog.
Unfortunately for him, when people google “Modern Family Watch,” they end up on Hulu.
not that there’s anything wrong with that. ZING!
After all, It’s Modern Family.. not Bigoted and Outdated Family
Why shouldn’t a gay kiss mean that much? Why do men ride horses?
Maybe we should kiss again to teach them a lesson about obvious.
You know they never changed Lily’s diapers on the show, she obviously just walks around covered in feces all the time since what isn’t shown directly never happens right
That just reminds of people (nerds) complaining about how Harry Potter never goes to the bathroom or how he never showers or whatever.
People… people actually complain about that? The Real World: Hogwarts? I mean– What?!?
I’m sure there’s a spell for that. He’ll be fine.
At the risk of becoming the person whose sole form of communication is posting Mitchell and Webb sketches that are fairly relevant, here is a Mitchell and Webb sketch that is fairly relevant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtQNULEudss
The main thing I took from the episode is that Alex is adorable and needs to be featured more heavily. Preferably (spoiler)quoting more Hugh Grant movies.
She’s been my favorite from the start. I hope that actress gets mature work as she gets older because I think she’s got some serious potential to become a fantastic actress.
I agree with everything Gabe said. Sometimes it’s only a big deal if everyone makes it a big deal.
That said, if they wanted to pull a Torchwood (which is my new obsession) and have boys making out all the time, I’d totally be okay with it.
I’m against this, because it will lead straight to a sitcom where a man kisses a dog.
#santorumgum
(santorumgum — ew?)
Yes. Ew.
This is giving me vertigo.
Every slope is a slippery slope when you don’t have feet.
Or a leg to stand on?
I was just glad that, instead of doing an episode building up to a big kiss, it was in the background while the larger issue actually had more to do with Jay.
When it comes to portrayals of gays on TV comedies, we’ll always have Glee to completely nullify all the great subtlety this show offers.
When I think back, it seems that the adult relationships on this show are pretty much sexless (except for the awesome episode where Claire and Phil go out on Valentines Day). I can’t remember Gloria or Jay kissing. And yet we still consider them a valid, loving couple. It just proves how good the writing on this show is – we don’t need to see them making out in order to believe they love each other. It shows in their conversations and interactions.
When my mother (bless her) watches this show, she always without fail will say: “Oh, I just LOVE Cam and Mitchell. I hate that I love the gay couple.”
And like, I don’t mean to bash my mother here, because I love the shit out of her… she’s not awful, I promise, just religious. (Kind of the same? Eh..)
But, like, the portrayal of Mitchell and Cam being this very real, very relatable relationship is pretty much fucking fantastic on its own… kiss or no. For a very conservative evangelical Christian woman in her 50s, who believes homosexual relationships and murder are on the same “sin scale”, to claim that she loves these characters and recognizes how fucking NORMAL and OKAY their relationship and family are… I dunno, it’s just nice.
Aaaaaand end KindaSeriousBriRantgum
I remember watching the news with my mother once, when a story about the gay marriage issue came up. Of course there was the obligatory footage of gay couples kissing on courthouse steps and all that. My mom’s response? “Gross.” and then to herself, “Whoops, my gay son is standing right next to me.” followed by my ice cold stare down and “Gurl no you di-in’t”
Parentsgum
Also pleased that the producers listened to the fans and gave us more of Gloria stirring things while wearing a low cut top.
I personally never understand what’s happening on sitcoms. Like, sometimes there’s stuff happening, and then all of the sudden time has passed and people are in other places. Too confusing.
The blogosphere should be less concerned with the gay kiss and more concerned with how great the lesbian sandal joke was.
“Needed more killshot.”- Joss Whedon
TV is special, but it tries so hard you have to root for it.
It’s not technically a homosexual kiss when both people engaged in the kiss are straight…
But they are not–the actor who plays Mitchell is gay.
I’ll take “Things I didn’t know for a thousand, Alex.”
Maybe I should be leaving this comment on the SNL post but in the words of Bonanza City’s BEST mayor, 9-year-old pageant contestant, Taylor DePriest, “DEAL WITH IT!” Come to think of it I don’t know why I’m not writing this on over there since scavenging 4-day-old-blog posts so I can pick fights with people *is* my hobby. But whatever. I want to talk about the Liza thing. Last week one of Amy Poehler’s Weekend Update jokes banked on the hope that there was STILL gold in the “gay dudes like Liza Minelli a LOT” mine. The mayor of Hollywood needs to outlaw that mess. And the law needs to extend to the satellite offices at Rockafeller Center. That joke is tired. (Half of my homo friends don’t know who she even IS. Sorry, “homo-y friends.” It will take a few days for me to remember that it’s an adjective. Please respect my privacy as I make this difficult transition.) Between this and Outsourced, NBC clearly demonstrates that they ain’t care about broadcasting fresh, creative programming. Not only did SNL’s Liza “joke” reinforce a dumb, broad, stereotype, but it confirms that Lorne Michaels has given up all ambition to make SNL the ivy league of the North American comedy circuit. Not that NBC should really care since enrollment is up at Greendale Community College.
If this is getting downvoted because I’m complaining the Liza joke from SNL – - don’t look at me. Gabe brought it up. But if I’m getting thumbs downs because of the “(h)alf of my…” line, then that that’s cool. I’m fine with that. Like most of the stuff I say, it was out out of line AND unnecessary.
omg, after skimming this post, I am disappointed because I can’t find the best part: the part where the men kiss!
I have to say this is pretty much my favorite article you’ve written, Gabe. Your thoughts on gay issues are always extremely well-presented and as a gay man I feel like you’re understanding and supportive in a way that most straight people usually aren’t, even the ones who are in favor of gay rights. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you argue like a gay guy? I don’t know.
Wait, are you say Gabe is NOT gay? If so, you just made this little ladies day. Umm year.
Gabe is not gay.
I love Modern Family, best show ABC has had for a while (ever?). But I’m still waiting for an article talking about how awful ‘My Generation’ is. I mean it really really sucks.
I had no idea this had caused such a stir.
Also, I can’t be the only 29-year-old who watches “Greek” on ABC Family, and that series has shown two gay dudes kissing each other, on the lips, front and center (not in the background) several times. Also, the show is about college students and is directed toward young people (and it’s on ABC FAMILY), which makes this all the more interesting and kinda impressive, In My Humble Opinion.
That show also does really well with making the main gay kid a character first and a gay character second, if that makes sense. Like, he’s got his own stuff going on and he’s a frat brother and he’s also gay, as opposed to ol’ Kurt, Mayor of All Gay Stereotypes Ever on “Glee”. It seems like Kurt’s character is ONLY about being gay, all the time.