Photos
Oh great, just what we need, ANOTHER film about a crack-addicted raccoon who feasts on human blood in the Bronx. Krackoon trailer, you guys:
I don’t want to kick a hornets next, but this movie looks terrible! (Via TheWorldsBestEver.)
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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
I only hope “Krackoon’s” message about the drug war is as illuminating as “Birdemic’s” was about global warming.
Birdemic’s hippie in the woods is going to be Krackoon’s crackhead in the dumpster.
Fish Altieri is our generation’s Armond White
“Krackoon is an instant piece of shit.”
Everyone else — The World
Great, I’m already worried about raccoons getting into my garbage, now I have to worry about them trying to sell me a VCR?
Forget reading Harry Potter – I’m going to tell my children bedtime stories about the Krackoon, now.
Not being able to watch from the video, I will judge this solely on the partially-obscured still frame, and just say this: Brendan Fraser has really let himself go.
Once you watch it, you will have similar thoughts about Tom Colicchio
And Mario.
HEY! Be fair! That’s a Tanooki suit Mario’s got on there! Even though Tanookis are known as ‘raccoon dogs’, they’re in the canid family and aren’t really related to the raccoon as we know it.
Besides- Mario likes to do boomers, not crack.
While we’re on the subject of raccoons and Nintendo…
Quick – who’s posting the Brendan Fraser clapping gif?
Waaait, is this filmed in second person?
“…film about a crack-addicted raccoon who feasts on human blood in the Bronx…” so, it’s a documentary, then?
Close–it’s a biopic. I can’t believe they cast a weasel as the raccoon! That’s just offensive.
bio-pic or bi-opic?
I thought Gabe hated them.
Def bio-pic. The other way sounds like an eye condition.
“Oh, dude, I can’t see the menu–I’m bi-opic.”
“The Bronx Times Reporter is one of the nation’s finest newspapers” – Bob Woodward
Is this that “New Jersey Shore” show I keep hearing about?
Probably a smart idea to leave the actual Krackoon out of the trailer. I feel as though I’ve been duped and I gotta find out what this fucking thing looks like now.
Too bad this didn’t come out like 7 months ago or we could be all “Release the Krackoon,” amirite guys?
GODDAMNIT YOU BEAT ME TO IT. Good job Picasso. *applause*
so that’s where that little fucker was going when he wrote ‘i’m outta here, asshole!’ in raccoon feed and disappeared in the night.
What is most upsetting is that the Bronx is only like 12 miles from Ground Zero
We’re gonna need a bigger upvote!
More like WACKoon, amirite?
Aww I thought this was gonna be about Birdie
I know that’s not Birdie, it’s the closest I could find.
Hooray for nearly-Birdie!
Needs more Ed Hardy gear.
I’m so sick of all these based-on-a-true-story Hollywood phone ins.
I think what confuses me most is why its not spelled Crackoon.
Because ‘Krackoon’ is made-up and therefore completely trademarkable.
Just to clarify, they’re both made up words, and therefore equally trademarkable (just to clarify, ‘trademarkable’ is also not a word).
There has to be better ways of wasting money than making movies like this. Whats wrong with flushing money down the toilet or setting money on fire? I no longer recognize the world I live in.
“hide your puppies, hide your dogs! That Krackoon is Rapin everybody out here!”
- Antione Dodson
*HORRIFIED LOOK ON MY FACE*
I think he’s actually giving that dog the Heimlich Maneuver.
what’s more disturbing is that it looks like an actual photo that someone had in a photo album. Like it’s aged with the cracks on the side. WHAT THE MESS??
Listen, a picture like that isn’t something you just suddenly stop carrying around in your wallet.
with the creases, i think it’s more likely someone kept the picture in their wallet.
I think explainer guy keeps that in his wallet, but I’m not sure what he’s trying to prove.
Nine months later…
HAHA Dogs don’t stay pregnant for nine months IDIOT-Steve Winwood, Dogcoon
Patrick M., I officially award you this week’s comedy gold:
patrick M has proved to be more dependable than gold.
It’s all for you, Winwood! It’s all for you!
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It’s good to hear it’s already won some rewards.
You guys