Photos
This is a repetitive point to make, so please forgive me, but I was just looking at the HuffingtonPost’s Entertainment page, and boy oh boy, you guys, this world. Obviously, it is chock full of news about Lindsay Lohan, which makes sense, but there are also two different stories about celebrities who have successfully lost 50-80 pounds (Hi, Drew Carey! Hi, Kirstie Alley!), you know, NEWS. But easily, my favorite link on that page right now is a photo gallery called “Kim Kardashian Eats a Lot of Ice Cream.” Hahahaha. I guess the point that I am trying to make is TGIF, you know? If we can’t hit the Internet’s off-switch and put it in the closet to gather dust, we can at least take a couple of days to rest our weary eyes and steel ourselves for what is to come (SPOILER ALERT: more of the same, forever). Have a great weekend, everyone!
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the “real” Simpsons Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice:
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
concert_addict | Sep 20th | Score:107 |
| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements | |||
| #6 |  |
explainer guy | Sep 21st | Score:117 |
| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: The Real Simpsons | |||
| #3 |  |
cakeordeath | Sep 22nd | Score:118 |
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Q: Gabe, where do you get your ideas? A: Max. |
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| Posted in: Hey, What’s Up With Topher Grace? | |||
| #2 |  |
werttrew | Sep 20th | Score:142 |
|
If there is anyone out there who still doubts that Videogum is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of savaging pretentious films is alive in our time, who still questions the power of one sad man’s relentless campaign, tonight is your answer. It’s the answer told by gifs that stretched around webpages in numbers this blog has never seen; by rants which went on for three or four pages, many for the very most exhausting time in readers’ lives, because we believed that this time must be different; that our upvotes could be that difference. It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, VforVgummers and not, disabled and not disabled—monsters who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of gif-lovers and gif-haters: we are, and always will be, Videogum Monsters who enjoy seeing bad movies disemboweled. It’s the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a day when Amelia will get the trouncing it deserves. It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this nomination for WMOAT, at this defining moment, justice has come at last. |
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| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements | |||
| #1 |  |
Capu Flapu And The Spasmatic Pentagrams | Sep 20th | Score:148 |
| Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements | |||
[Ed. note: OK! So, if last week was werttrew's week to shine, this week was clearly everyone else's week to congratulate werttrew on shining. So there you go. It is nice to see people being nice. Although I hope this doesn't turn into some kind of self-reflective comment cycle that ends up suffocating us all. Hi, werttrew!]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 |  |
Steve Winwood | Sep 21st | Score:-39 |
| What if while she was dancing a bloody miscarried fetus plopped out of her dress? | |||
| Posted in: Bristol Palin On Dancing With The Stars, Of Course | |||
[Ed. note: No comment at this point.]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
| #4 | |
Capu Flapu And The Spasmatic Pentagrams | Sep 21st | Score:128 |
|
‘Nam |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: The Real Simpsons | |||
[Ed. note: Congratulations, Capu Flapu and the Spasmatic Pentagrams! You earned it.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
 |
Patrick M | 1:10pm | Score:2 | |
| I liked this show the first time I saw it… when it was called The National Spelling Bee | |||
| Posted in: Dear Outsourced, Please Kill Yourself | |||
[Ed. note: It's called an homage. Look it up. (Incidentally this may be the first time in Monsters' Ball history where someone has tied THEMSELVES for Editor's Choice, because this comment from Patrick M was a very close second. Probably no need to award it, though, since it looks like it's clearly on its way to highest rated comment of the week/all time?)]
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Hey guys! Don’t forget the Videogum Song Contest, which ends a week from today!
http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/1049295909/videogum-song-contest-rules-faq
I think I’m getting the hang of this “Videogum” thing…
Give it two more weeks and you could totally beat it.
I’m still figuring it out.
i dunno, man, my topher grace comment currently sits at minus 40…
you can have my award
Hey, Steve glad to see you mellowed out a bit this week aside from the awful comment above. Anyways, I present you this week’s edition of Winwood Classics. This time we go back to 1982 with Blade runner, Ridley Scott’s interpretation of Phillip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. In this film Scott & Dick question the relationship between man & technology, corporation & consumer, paranoia & religion, genetic engineering & soul. The newly remastered Winwood version asks new questions left unanswered in the original:
I appreciate the effort there but Sean Young was a grown up in this shot so a comment about Chris Hansen wouldnt make sense in this context
Replicants were made to die at age 4. Come on Steve! Comer to Stereogum & all is forbidden.
*come on over to Stereogum & all is forgiven. Sorry, happy hour.
Ok, sorry if I’m annoying people, but I’m going to start commentating in stereogum, and I thought i could take our mascot with us. Other monsters ,come join me and such. Steve, if you ever decide to come over we can give you a quick make-over.
I’ll try to join you there, Chris. I got really depressed today when at the stereogum comments and saw how snarky our web-cousins are. They need some Monster love!
CT < SW
Wait, I don’t think I did that right.
And you can have my axe.
This did not end up as close as i thought it would.
Hey guys come see my movie this weekend
i actually totally want to see that. looks beautiful. and im a nerdy animator, so right up my alley.
I would hug the heck out of this little guy.
You’d probably hug the heck out of me then. I look like this all the time.
Absolutely I would.
happy to be here. and happy Community et. al are back. They make Fridays even Friday-ier.
I may also like monster sharks? Yes please!
Wait a minute, That’s not right at all…
Wow. This is just getting worse and worse. For a second, Bing was saying that I would also enjoy monster sharks, but now it’s not, so this comment makes no sense… Nice work, me. #itsbeenalongweekgum
I stared at that “Happy Labor Day” image for about five minutes, trying to get the joke, before I scrolled down.
But before I did, I upvoted it, because I thought it must be so clever I just couldn’t understand it.
I’ve had a long week, too.
I think we both need this:
OH MAN, the sight of guinea pigs makes me SO SAD. back when I was little my parents got my sister and I guinea pigs. Presumably both were male.I had a red one that I named Scuttle. My sister’s gray & white one was named Tusker. Turns out Scuttle was a female and BABIES! LOTS AND LOTS OF BABIES! IMMEDIATELY!!!
We were all stoked, a larger cage was built, and many salad scraps were shared with the gaggle of guinea pigs we accumulated.
Then, one turrible day, I came home from school to find Scuttle lying still in the cage surrounded by all her children. We tried to extricate her from the cage, but her teeth had a death grip BITE on the chicken wire the cages were made of. She was SO DEAD.
As it turns out, the night before my dad had gone through the usual ritual of preparing our family’s dinner vegetables, and tossed the scraps into the guinea pigs’ cage. The problem was one of the things we had for dinner was potatoes, and potato eyes are POISONOUS, and although Scuttle was the first casualty, the other 12 GUINEA PIGS quickly succumbed to the potato eye poison.
Long story short, a lot of shallow graves were dug that day, and we no longer owned any more guinea pigs.
Moral of the story- if you own a guinea pig, don’t feed it potato skins. ANY other vegetable is totally fine to feed them.
A round of Monster’s Ball for Patrick M. Dude killed it this week.
I helped with one sort of but not really….
A crown that casts no shadow. I AM INTRIGUED
(also: thanks!)
Congratulations, Patrick M. Your jokes are golden and your first name is particularly great.
Cupcakes for everyone!!!
I don’t want to eat Huckabeast’s face
Do you want to sit on it? Because I sometimes do.
#recycledjokes
Yay for cakeordeath, my internet friend! A thousand upvotes of celebration!
Yay! Finally made it to Monster’s Ball without a Keanu reference. Thanks Doggie High Fives!
Wertrew, how many times have I been given Worst Comment of the Week award by blogger-meister Gabesauce MacWeaksauce? Is it nine or ten? I have lost count and frankly I dont think it’s appropriate to constantly give me this designation. There are worse commentators.
FYI: I am boycotting the Wall Street movie that you guys are seeing and I will host my own forum about the new Catfish movie. This chat will probably take place within the videogum conversation thread about the Wall Street movie. It will be like that novel The City and The City, where two cities separated by a inter dimensional rift in the space time continuum exist side by side but pretend not to see each other because of their laws and politics. Anyway, fuck wall street and DOUBLE butt fuck that Shia Laboof boy and his sloppy milk mouth competing with John Cusack in that regard. Do not see that movie.
I hate to test your resolve, but Carey Mulligan is in 2 Wall 2 Street.
Carey Mulligan.
well I still havent seen that English Teacher Student movie that she is in or whatever it is called
she’s also in “The Greatest” which is Written & Directed by the same woman who wrote/directed the new Gwenyth Paltrow country music movie. TMYK.
So she is responsible for the The Greatest and the worst? Rad career.
She will always be Sally Sparrow to me
I’m in for the catfish discussion. Now to find a close theatre showing catfish..
CATFISH! so good. everyone go see catfish.
Ahem. Bird. You seem nice. Your avatar is really cute. Cat and a pineapple? Good stuff. Cat wearing a pineapple? Come on, that’s great!
That said, Catfish is awful terrible badness. Seriously, Catfish is the most disingenuous, self-obsessed, vain, shallow and calculated filmmaking that happened this year. If you want to see some self-important douchebag with a tramp stamp prance around in red American Apparel underoos and recount his sexting encounters with his “girlfriend,” then by all means, go see Catfish and pretend you didn’t see the “twist” coming from a mile away.
Sorry. This has been a week of rants from me with Glee, Outsourced and Catfish around all at once. I’ll be more chipper next week, ya’ll.
that was the nicest intro! i liked that. i like that your avatar is neither fozzy nor a chair.
i went to see it and was like [SPOILER ALERT, MAYBE] “cool fake movie. very fake, i enjoyed this.” however, the screening i went to had the three guys do a q&a after. and apparently it’s all very real. they mentioned trying to get angela to publish all the facebook communication as a book, as each person that is mentioned was well developed (though it wasn’t shown in the movie). it’s possible that they were punking the audience with the q&a, but i’m pretty sure it’s real, which means it can’t really be disingenuous or calculated. (when asked what they learned from the movie the one guy said, “don’t get a lower back tattoo.”)
I went to a screening at USC for Catfish a few weeks ago and you summed up my thoughts exactly, bird. Sometimes crazy things happen when people invest too much time into relationships online. I feel this happened to be one case of it, and it was filmed. I’m sure there have been WORSE cases and if those were documented people would still claim bull crap.
FOZZ, I’M with you Brotha. ANYONE who thinks CATFISH was good should go CHECK out this:
http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2010/09/catfishbullshit.html
thanks AmPat, that was a good read. i’m still pretty convinced from the q&a i saw, but who knows i’ve been gullible in the past.
Seriously, that guy would’ve had to be retarded to not even slightly suspect that the whole thing was fake. I knew she wasn’t real from the trailer, I don’t know how he could allegedly e-date her for months and not figure it out. I don’t buy any of it for a second.
but he didn’t see the trailer.
I would never wish a double butt fuck upon any man.
“I – AM – NO – MAAAAN!” Shia Laboof takes off his Lord of the Rings helmet and reveals that he’s just an ugly girl, kills the ring wraith
“Sheea LaBoooof.” Gloria from “Modern Family, best line reading ever.
I hate to say it, but when I read your Bristol Palin comment (just now because I didn’t see it in original post), I LITERALLY laughed out loud. No abbreviation necessary.
Nine times. http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/270476062/complete-list-of-videogums-monsters-ball-commenters
For what it’s worth, the designation is “lowest rated,” not “worst comment.” The week’s worst comments aren’t always the lowest rated.
Like werttrew said, Steve. LOWEST RATED, not WORST.
Gabe doesn’t control our upvotes/downvotes, the videogum monsters themselves determine the lowest-rated comment. He just chronicles what it was every Monster’s Ball.
So you claim…
It makes me happy that you question this.
Fucking Gabes, how do they Gabe?
Damnit, Winwood! I almost made it to the Monster’s ball with this one. You ruin EVERYTHING!
Explainer Guy, I just have to thank you again. This picture is really the closest I will ever come to being in Monster’s Ball!
Also, all you other Monsters out there, I just want to thank you guys for yet another great week. Reading VG posts and all of your comments make me laugh and really brighten my day.
Just of our curiosity what is the highest rated comment of all time? I feel like something recently was through the roof.
http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/998209585/all-time
Yep – Daily Show caption contest – that’s what I was thinking of. Thanks!
Werttrew to the rescue!
Hey Werttrew, I just heated up some water in the microwave, but now I can’t remember what it was for. Any thoughts?
http://videogum.com/161761/microwave-cooking-for-one/webjunk/
Hey, I just got my first TV and my first computer (I Was raised by hippies), anyway what are some good TV shows, you seem like the cool kids on the internet . What should I watch?
Dramas–The Wire, Breaking Bad, Dexter
Comedies–Arrested Development, Simpsons (Seasons 3-9), 30 Rock (especially Seasons 1-3), Community, The Office US (especially Seasons 2-4), The Office UK, Always Sunny in Philadelphia (especially Seasons 1-3)
Speaking of the UK Office, Seasons 1&2 of Extras.
Spaced, Black Books, Blackadder, Mitchell and Webb, Big Train, Rex the Runt, Kids in the Hall, Cowboy Bebop, FLCL, Wonder Showzen, Daria, Better off Ted, The Larry Sanders Show, Newsradio, Parks and Recreations, The Dana Carvey Show, Exit 57, Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, The Critic.
I am probably missing a bunch.
CBC had a really great show called The Newsroom; I can only vouch for season one, but holy cow: recommended
Mad Men, Friday Night Lights, Dollhouse, Party Down, The Venture Bros, Firefly, Archer, Frisky Dingo, This American Life, Deadwood, Veronica Mars, The Shield, Justified, Eastbound & Down, Freaks & Geeks.
Oh man, TV discussions? We’re in my wheelhouse now.
I second everything KajusX just said and add:
Sports Night, The West Wing, Futurama, Dead Like Me, Firefly, and Party Down (the last two are repeated for emphasis)
Twin Peaks and Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace!
Flight of the Conchords!
Aliens in America, The Golden Girls, Home Movies.
Set your DVR to Outsourced. Pure gold!
If gold were made of feces, that is.
Hooray! My induction into the Ball!
Thank you to my fellow monsters for your support. I am shamed to say that it took a lot of strategic downvoting of my competition, but I have learned that in the end, all that matters is your collective validation.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
mean girls gif party?
Mmmmm, Amanda Sigfried and Roy. Delicious.
she’s grrrrrrreat!
?Take two:
She can’t believe the garbage quality of Mama Mia, either!
The irony of an image labeled “GIFS”, unnecessarily being stored in jpeg format and thus exhibiting artifacts to the ugliest, is not lost on me.
You are simply the best.
What a week, you guys! I need to loosen up.
Me too! Care to join me for some dog yoga?
My computer’s been in the shop for more than a week now, and after the initial withdrawal, I’ve started to not miss it any more. Of course all the OH NO I’M MISSING OUT anxiety is flooding back now that I’m on the computer at the library looking through old posts. Walkeen Phoenix [I refuse to even try to spell his name] did something?? Keanu Reevevs has a cupcake? The Government wants me gay?? These are all things I actually am interested in and want to read more about, no sarcasmo, because I like dumb things!
So instead of doing dumb things with people that crack me up [hi monsters! I love you!] I’ve been reading Infinite Jest, which is fantastic. I think I’m missing out on discussing it with yall. I did have a great discussion with a couple of customers and my bookshop about it, which was fun.
I’m about page 350, give or take a few footnotes. Let’s talk about it! It’s really good! The descriptions of depression and addiction are gorgeously clear and the examination of the nature of entertainment is interesting and also hilarious!
The two aspects of the book that really stand out to me–and I think I can say not a week goes by that I don’t ruminate one or both of these aspects from the book–are the descriptions of depression (particularly the suicidal kind) and the descriptions of AA (or NA) and how crazy it is and yet how it works. I often bore people with DFW’s observtions w/r/t these two things.
I guess we can discuss this in more detail when Bookgum gets there, but that’s the stuff that really sticks with me, more so than tennis or the Entertainment or Canadian terrorists in wheelchairs.
Fun Fact: The government is called O.N.A.N. It’s funny because it’s a masturbation joke. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan
In the Year of the Dove Trial Size Bar, Gov. Chritine O’Donnell of Deleware vetoed her state’s inclusion in O.N.A.N. because, you know.
I love Infinite Jest. Too bad it’s not up until half a year in the Videogum book club, I really need to re-read it when I’m not so drunk.
And “Chritine” O’Donnell is of course the cousin of “Christine” O’Donnell, if you were wondering.