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There are moments in the Duh Aficionado editorial offices when the staff just runs through the halls shouting “NO DUH!” because a story is breaking that seems tailor-made for the magazine’s mission statement: to expose things that are completely obvious and already known to everyone. This is one of those moments. From the New York Times:
Casey Affleck wants to come clean.
His new movie, “I’m Still Here,” was performance. Almost every bit of it. Including Joaquin Phoenix’s disturbing appearance on David Letterman’s late-night show in 2009, Mr. Affleck said in a candid interview at a cafe here on Thursday morning.
Oh, you mean that a highly successful Hollywood actor from a showbiz family with a long and impressive career didn’t decide at the height of his fame and power to drop everything and begin a rap career while his fuckhead friend filmed the whole thing? Huh. YOU DON’T SAY. Also, this Casey Affleck guy? He is clearly your boyfriend. Listen to this guy:
“It’s a terrific performance, it’s the performance of his career,” Mr. Affleck said. He was speaking of Mr. Phoenix’s two-year portrayal of himself — on screen and off — as a bearded, drug-addled aspiring rap star, who, as Mr. Affleck tells it, put his professional life on the line to star in a bit of “gonzo filmmaking” modeled on the reality-bending journalism of Hunter S. Thompson.
The performance of his career? Sounds like someone needs to rewatch The Gladiators! Also, give me a break with this “gonzo filmmaking” and any comparisons to Hunter S. Thompson. That guy was a drug-addled mess, sure, but his work was ultimately about documenting his own personal, fractured experience of the world as he nominally went about his actual job of journalism, NOT about make believe “mockumentaries” dreamed up in some Malibu hot tub after the cocaine handjobs were finished. Ugh. I can’t believe you’re married to this Casey Affleck guy!
And also this:
Virtually none of it was real. Not even the opening shots, supposedly of Mr. Phoenix and his siblings swimming in a water hole in Panama. That, Mr. Affleck said, was actually shot in Hawaii with actors, then run back and forth on top of an old videocassette recording of “Paris, Texas” to degrade the images.
“I never intended to trick anybody,” said Mr. Affleck, an intense 35-year-old who spoke over a meat-free, cheese-free vegetable sandwich on Thursday. “The idea of a quote, hoax, unquote, never entered my mind.”
You never intended to trick anybody? With your movie in which an actor portrayed himself having a nervous break down? Which included appearances on TV that were widely discussed due to the unclear nature of whether or not the person was OK? Also what does “quote, hoax, unquote” fucking MEAN? Look, I don’t care that this movie is fake, or that it even exists. But if you’ve been lying to people and then you stop lying, don’t start lying again right away. It is, as they say in the industry, NOT A GOOD LOOK.
You know what is definitely real and not a hoaxumentary? My dislike of liars!
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Meat-free, cheese-free vegetable sandwiches are the new truffle french fries!
it’s a shame that sandwich was being so loud, causing mr.affleck to shout.
But truffle french fries certainly never intended to trick anybody!
You know what goes good with that? Heroin. Or J-Lo.
I think a vegetable sandwich is a threesome with Jaoquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck.
Wait, so Joaquin Phoenix was the one in the Melting Nun mask the whole time?
I wonder if it’s freeing for Joaquin Phoenix to do something like that–like does he just completely let himself go balls out in public? Or is it so much harder–like an actor who is a really good singer having to act like he can’t sing?
You guys, this is me right now:
I am shocked. I just…up is down, right is left….I don’t have a hold on reality anymore.
…
…
PSYCHE!
This guy knows what you’re talking about…
is that the creepy robot thing from Showbiz?
Casey Affleck wants to come clean.
There was meat and cheese in his vegetable sandwich.
I knew it. I am breaking up with Casey Affleck.
Is Donnie Wahlberg seeing anyone?
Are the vegan police coming to take his powers away? It won’t do any good. He can still destroy us with his upper class ennui zzzzzz bombs.
I’m glad that Zach Galifianiakis isn’t really that messed up
I’ve grown weary saying Zach’s last name correctly over the course of my appreciation for him. I recently decided from now on I am pronouncing his name as Zack Golfinacks.
How come nobody gave me a movie deal for my documentary about the two years I spent high on coke?
Sorry, I’m too busy finishing my documentary about my summer on Juggalo Island.
Casey Affleck is the Anti-Zmuda.
Wait gabe dislikes phoneys? I was totally sure that those were his favorite thing. I need to get to know gabe better.twss
Which is odd since Gabe thought Holden Caulfield was a snot-nosed little punk when his grandson bought Catcher In The Rye when it first came out
Why come clean? Where’s the showmanship? Why is everybody so afraid of what the film critics have to say? Andy Kaufman would have gone for the long con and let everyone just think he was insane. This guy knows what I’m talking about:
Anytime there is a picture of Sawyer….UPVOTES ALL AROUND!
Never forget.
I was really upset not only that some critics seemed to love this piece of garbage, but that pretty much every review seemed to take the “if it’s fake…” stance as if there was a good chance it might be real.
This is one of those few times I gladly screamed in my head “NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!”
For the past year plus my Facebook photo has been Joaquin Phoenix with a bunch of Miss America contestants. Now, I loathe Facebook so I purposefully had an asinine profile picture as my pathetic way of saying “fuck you” to anyone who dare look at my almost never updated profile. Every once in a while, usually when uploading photos, my girlfriend of 4 years would get cross with me over my refusal to change that terrible picture.
Two or three days ago I finally changed that picture to one of my mom’s St. Bernard. I also changed my relationship status to single.
Knowing it was all fake really makes me upset. It’s as if the last
fouryearswas just a big lie. #BummergumSo your relationship and Facebook photo went hand-in-hand? Once the photo was gone she was like, “You just aren’t the old, stubborn you anymore” and is now possibly in the wealthy, meat and dairy free arms of Casey Affleck?
No, I changed it after the end. Joke is on her though, look how much cuter I got:
How about some soft-serve?
I’m sorry Triple Dubs. Please accept this hug and upvote.
No doubt. Come here, Broseph Gordon-Levitt
I’m sure Mark Zuckerberg sees your ironic profile pictures and is really hurt. “Why does wwwest not take me seriously? Every thing I do I do for him! I try my hardest to make a good website and THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR IT?!?” – Mark Zuckerberg into his pillow every night next to a candle lit picture of wwwest
Affleck’s defense of the movie is total horseshit (OF COURSE they were trying to trick people), but I haven’t seen the movie yet and the more I read about it, the more interesting it sounds (even though the trailer made it look pretty awful, because trailers always seem to make movies look either much better or much worse they they really are).
I like David Edelstein’s explanation of why Roger Ebert was taken in by it: “I think Roger is such a big-hearted, pro-AA mensch that his first thought on watching I’m Still Here was, ‘We must get him to a meeting!’ Has a public figure ever shed so much cynicism over the course of a lifetime? ”
http://nymag.com/daily/movies/2010/09/quelle_surprise.html
THIS IS literally THE saddest fucking THING I HAVE ever read. THESE TWO guys went on A WHOLE TWO years pretending SOMETHING WAS fucking real, WHEN EVERYONE knew it was FAKE. THEY tried hyping that SHIT UP, AND NOW they are quote COMING CLEAN end quote AS IF the world actually GIVES A FLYING fuck about THAT DUMB shit. C’MON, Robert Ford. I EXPECTED BETTER of you.
Then AGAIN MAYBE no one involved EVER GOT to see this GIF:
As a self-styled expert in all things gif, I can safely say this is a grade “A” gif.
I’m sending everyone a copy of Mother Night. Everyone send me your address.
Litrally me right now
LOL… werttrew better watch out
Def logged in just to upvote this awesome gif from my favorite collaboration: Mel Gibson+Joaquin Phoenix+M. Night Shyamalan. Good thing none of them turned out to be terrible jerks or I’d have to change my “Movies” section on facebook!
Well to be honest, as a documentary it’s seems a little contrived and out there. As a piece of fiction it’s brilliant.
Pitchfork will love it.
“What if someone did something…UNEXPECTED?!?!”
Let’s all see Catfish instead!
I had a Joaquin Phoenix geocities fansite in 1997, circa Inventing the Abbotts. #confessionsgum
I had one for Dawson’s Creek.
I believe mine was just a collection of photos. Probably Devon Gummersall and Paul Rubens heavy.
Upvoted because Devon Gummersall.
I definitely frequented it #confessiongum
Hey guys. Remember the 90s?
Mine was about the X-Files. It had a “hungry mailbox” animated .gif
#nerdgum
I had a myspace group about his bizarre red carpet “frog in my hair” escapade =(
That the veracity of this movie was ever part of public discourse makes us all fake.
but what about the tumescence of the movie?
just under the trousers…firm and moving ever so slightly
Wait, if Casey Affleck’s my boyfriend, then that makes Joaquin Phoenix my…..brother? Great.
I think it means you’ve been.. dead? for almost… 17 years?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summer_Phoenix
Is it bad that, despite everything, I would still have either Casey Affleck OR Joaquin Phoenix as my boyfriend?
TWBS
(Translation: That’s What Bing Said)
Once again, Duh Aficionado Magazine has scooped Durrrrr & Doy Weekly.
Hey Gang!
I’m commenting from work for the first time! I feel so dangerous!
In other fake and gay performance news, my new boss was talking about how she was going be Prince Poppycock for Halloween. So cool!
That is all.
saw this a few weeks ago…
Nice! I took a pic of that when I walked past it too.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Of all the people in all the world, I would have pegged you to want to have 72 virgins waiting for you in Heaven.
Winwood, you constantly surprise me!
“You’ll find I’m full of surprises!” – quote from popular movie I bet you can not identify
The Empire Strikes Back.
What do I win?
The Gladiators? You mean… Gladiator?
Glad He Ate Her
I keep looking at his left eye then his right eye and feeling a bit weird. I’m sure it’s just the angle or the kohl, but…uhh, woozy…
I think this is bad form, even for you.
Crap, I knew I shouldn’t have logged in again when I was booted the first time trying to reply to Winwood. It’s like a cosmic internet sign flashing “DO NOT ENGAGE!” and I didn’t heed its warning.
HA HA HA HA HA HAH HA HAHA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Score one for “FAKE”. Somewhere a YouTube troll smiles contentedly.
So, for those keeping score at home, that’s Fake 13,246, Gay 12,460. Fake AND Gay is running a distant third, with 4,331, and Basil Marceaux dot com brings up the rear with 24.
First.
Can someone explain to me why journalists must comment on what the douchebags they interview are eating?
Oh, Casey, you have such serious indie film cred that you could never have run that tape over a DVD of “Titanic”.
They’ve made dunces…
… of us all.
I haven’t seen it, but it is still probably better than “Pauly Shore Is Dead.”
When I was 6 years old a new family moved in next door with a daughter roughly the same age as me. I decided I would tell her I’m a twin, and that my brother was inside. I then told her I was going to go get him, ran inside, changed clothes, then came back outside and tried to play it off like I was a completely different person. She didn’t buy it for a second. And yet I continued to act like the other twin for another half hour before I finally grew weary insisting i was two people, went back inside, and changed back into my regular clothes.
I don’t need to see this movie.
I actually just saw this last night… then saw the article this morning. Whoops, I totally thought at least parts of it were real (easily dupe-able, right here) but I think knowing it’s not makes it even more interesting and exciting. As an audience, we tend to be jaded with celebrity, when bigger stars make a movie, unavoidably, we bring all of this baggage about the actor to the character they’re trying to portray — which they touch on at the beginning of the film, the freedom as an actor to create realistic characters when everyone has this “character” already attached to you. So in a sense, making the character a bizarro Joaquin Pheonix, played by Joaquin Pheonix was kind of turning that on it’s head.
I love this blog (I have VIDEOGUM4EVS tattooed on my wallet) but I disagree with the bitterness that seems to be out there towards this project. When Affleck says they didn’t mean to “trick” anybody, I think he’s saying they didn’t do this with malicious intent toward the audience. I don’t get the sense that they want us to feel like idiots (which is probs why he came clean?) they were just experimenting with storytelling realism.