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Boy, it turns out that “everything” I need to know about Def Jam Rapstar is A LOT. Should I set up my on-line profile now? Let me know when I need to set up my on-line profile so that I can find out who is the best on my block at Def Jam Rapstar. (I wonder if it is the divorced father of two college-age children who lives downstairs!) Of course, Def Jam Rapstar isn’t just a videogame that offers people like you and me (let’s be honest, white people) HOURS of unlimited embarrassment and humiliation. It’s also a great way to meet that special someone! This is easily my favorite part of the whole commercial:
Man, that part was so intense. JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL, BUDDY! But it was nice to see that it all worked out in the end, and they were finally able to take their relationship to the next level. Literally. The Freestyle Level.
I CAN’T WAIT TO GET THIS GAME AND FALL IN LOVE!
It is a little surprising how nervous Method Man and Redman seem about this game. All the shouting and the boasting and the swear words. At first I thought the suggestion that you could use this game as your personal recording studio, and post your tracks on-line to build a fan base seemed like one of the most ridiculous lies an advertisement for a thing had ever told me, but then you have to admit that Method Man and Redman got REALLLLL nervous. Watch your back, Method Man and Redman. Streets is gaming.
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Nothing says current like a Lebron James Cleveland Cavaliers jersey hanging in the background.
That and a pair of 40 year old rappers.
Someone say 40 year old British rapper? Of course in England rappers are called…rappers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAeMU9V7W9o
I’ll put on my “rap clothes” and we can get started:
(Disturbing sidenote: this image came from “ratemygrandma dot com”. Ew. Why?)
I wonder what criteria one uses to rate Grandma? Firmness? Clarity of grandmotherly advice? Pies? I give the above grandma six out of ten Werther’s Originals.
Maybe glasses level? Lack of “with-it-ness”? Quantity of hunched over background guys?
Pie-itude? The grandma pictured is rocking sonic levels of pie-itude.
I rate grandmas on ability to not say racist things.
Always a bridesmaid:
You guys remember the tv show Electric Grandmother? The kids were like, “I dont want a grandma android who is too boney, I want one that is mushy”.
I’m intimidated by the commercial. I’m going to hold out for Def Jam PolkaStar
or the pitchfork produced Def Jam Avant-Garde Post-Rock(Hero)
Rap OR Salad?
Salad wrap,,, hoho!
For some reason I’m now picturing Method Man quietly eating a salad.
I would play that game.
“That honey was fine, yo.” – MC Steve Winwood
I’m imagining the kind of girl who would fall in love with me because of my dope rap skills and I’m thinking she is not the girl for me.
But she looks like so much fun!
So forcing me to imagine spending my life with a whiskey-riddled nightmare goblin is what passes for humor on the Internet now?
I didn’t know you were Snooki’s life partner!:
I’m actually just going to go ahead and BLAM myself now, thanks.
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This is for ruining Ellen Page for me
who is the sweaty looking blonder girl on the left of john travolta?
How long before the Juggalo virus spreads on this thing?
Just as soon as one of them drinks too much Faygo and tries to fuck their Playstation.
“But I love her.” –MC LugNutz 6969 (aka Darin Wayne Forbes from New Albany, IN)
chlamydia?
I am just hoping that Def Jam Rapstar is equipped with some sort of “clown face-paint recognition technology,” à la Chatroulette’s “dick recognition technology,” thereby immediately kicking said Juggalo off and terminating his membership.
When did Meth morph into Cutty from The Wire?
He ate too much Cheese. #Wirejokesthatdon’treallywork
Rad joke, topknot. I just watched all five seasons of the wire again and just finished last night. Poor Cheese, I hated him so. “That’s for Joe!”
Time for a freestyle party, y’all!
If Def Jam Rapstar has some Snow hits, ima kill it, son.
Hits, plural?
Honestly, this video was made extremely tolerable by the overall attractiveness of one KidMilli. He’s pretty.
Say what you want Gabe, but I’m sure I’m pretty sure I’m making it to the NFL once the scouts see how much time I’ve been putting into Madden.
I wanna be the Ma$e avatar. I can probably rap as fast as he can.
Ma$e references are still culturally relevant, right? Good.
Yup, It’s always July 1997 to January 1998 in here.
“Young, black, and famous
with money hanging out the anus.”
Oops, that’s your couplet!
guys ever read snacks and shit? funny stuff on that little number
Too many of the lyrics on snacks and shit are ingenious faux-retarded lines that the writers of that blog fail to understand. Even the “snacks and shit” line itself is sort of an interesting detail, which the komedy professionals on that blog think is stupid because it sounds unusual within a standard rap narrative.
but are you ordained?
#ma$ejokes
Pressing questions for Ma$e
1.Now what the hell is you lookin’ for?
2.Can’t a young man get money anymore?
3.Let my pants sag down to the floor?
4.Really do it matter as long as I score?
5.Can’t my car look better than yours?
6.Can I have a bad bitch without no flaws?
7.Come to see me without no drawers?
8.In a stretch Lex with about ten doors?
“OK, good. Now act like you’re clicking away to check the rating of your online rap performance. Now, take another sip of that orange drink. Man, you guys really like your orange drink.” -Your Director
Why don’t they just call it “Make your own Drake?”
Sometimes I wonder which mode I want to play, then I remember the obvious choice.
is it party time? http://nedroid.com/2009/05/party-cat-full-series/
these guys know what you’re talking about.
do you guys think that there is something kind of infantalizing about the rappers? the over sized clothes and deliberately bad grammar and english language skillz [sic]? Like they’re all, “Look at me I’m a big baby who cant talk or dress himself.”
Yeah, we could get into a big sociological discussion over this, or we could all sit down and enjoy a viewing of the movie Baby Boy, or even just read Stanley Crouch’s essay on the importance of that film, or, we could all just realize that “popular rap” is just as ridiculous as “popular (insert genre here)”.
My favourite (Queen’s English!) thing (read: least favourite thing) is telling people that I’m a rapper, because I get the “What do you rap about? Bitches, bling?” complete with the head-movement-arm-straight-out, other-arm-pretending-to-be-holding-a-mic response, and giggles and awkward. Then I just go home and think of something witty I should have said two hours after the fact.
So, long answer, but, yes and no. It just depends on where you look.
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If you look at a few rappers/songs in particular you see a lot of it, though. “Hey Ma” is surely among the most Freudian of rap songs, with Juelz Santana referred to as a “baby,” the girls he and Cam’ron pick up as “ma” and “momma,” etc. Also most of the songs on 50 Cent’s atrocious album The Massacre seem like a child’s ideas of what it means to be a cool adult — “Piggy Bank” about how fitty made more money than his rivals, “Candy Shop” with those oh-so-original sex-as-candy metaphors, “Gatman and Robbin” about fitty and eminem killing people who talk shit, and “My Toy Soldier.”
Also Stanley Crouch is basically trolling when it comes to rap…he has a lot of theories about how rap postures are bad for America or something, but he isn’t really interested in debating the merits of particular songs/artists. He’s pretty much an old media dude hating on new media because it’s new (although rap isn’t that new anymore), kind of like Ebert hating video games. He never manages a close read on any rap songs, just disses the (purely theoretical) social implications of those songs.
I feel like people are just down voting Steve now automatically, without regard for his actual posts. These are reasonable questions to ask.
This game pretty much just guaranteed that Videogum will have enough content to last until the end of the world, whenever that may be.
http://www.2012supplies.com/countdown.html
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I think I speak for everyone when I say…um, what?
“I’m afraid I can’t open Freestyle Mode, KidMilli.”