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Some new asshole (as opposed to the old asshole) tried to burn a Quaran this weekend, because it’s 2010, and the world has existed for long enough, time to tear it to the ground in a shrieking nightmare of hatred and fear. But then another guy, also kind of an asshole in his way, but also probably an American hero, who you are dating and are in love with, took the Quaran away from the first asshole and RODE AWAY ON HIS LONGBOARD. On his way to the shirt store, I’m guessing. But he didn’t leave without delivering a classic parting shot:
Hahahaha. So pitted. (Via Towleroad. Thanks for the tip, Steven.)
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Wait, we are burning Quarans? What the hell am I supposed to do with all of this Quinoa? SPELLCHECK PEOPLE!
Gabe also knows 7 foods that start with the letter Q.
Does Quaker Oats count?
Ask Rosie Perez.
Will she answer in the form of a question?
Will you? Oh.
You get an upvote! And facetaco gets an upvote! EVERYBODY gets an UPVOTE!! (no AnAmPat).
And then Oprah has to one-up me and fly everybody to Australia. Have fun down under, you guys, but don’t come crying to me when Stedman asks you to wash his undies (no harpo).
Am I making any sense anymore? That question implies that at one time I made sense. I’m deep in the wormhole now.
Perfect protein or Submission to God? YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Can we all, as Patriots and speakers of God’s English, settle on one English spelling for this holy book?
(personally I like the one with the apostrophe)
And yet my burning of Dianetics doesn’t even get me LOCAL press coverage. This shit is racist!
I walked past the Scientology church in the north side of Chicago on Saturday and anonymous was protesting outside it. It was kind of sad that this one huge policeman was lecturing them on how to properly protest and the 7 kids who showed up sounded like kids who wanted to stay up past their bedtime. …wait but I like you guyz! #don’thurtme
Dude seems pretty radical to me.
I cut my boyfriend’s hair myself. What do you think?
I like how you’re letting that dread/rattail come in real long. Smooth.
He looks like he has a Slim Jim growing out the back of his head… which he probably noshes on for breakfast, right?
Sen. Tankerbell: He’s Mr. Smooth, ya know?
Cakeordeath: That’s why it’s so shiny.
“I heard Obama made it illegal for that man to burn the Quran which is a direct contradiction of the Second Amendment. But what do expect from a Muslim?”
-America, sadly
I’m glad to see the Dude, You’re Getting the Dell Guy is doing something with his life/still saying his catchphrase.
Did your boyfriend use his 20 roll to power up and snatch that Quran?
You can tell that David Green is very devout because of his soul patch.
Good.
I keep telling my boyfriend to stop stealing my Grandma’s glasses. He never listens.
But you’re really dating him for his classic one-liners. So, compromises.
Geez, leave that guy alone. He wasn’t trying to make a religious statement – everyone knows grilled Koran is a delicacy.
He literally got all up in that extremist’ s grill.
Koran BBQ is my favorite. I love how you can grill it at the table yourself.
I used to skate. Had a Christian Hasoi (sp?) board, fish tail shaped with rail guards and a tail guard which were these little plastic things that you would screw on to the wood to keep the board from getting shredded. This was back before they made skateboards straight with flipped up tails in the front and the back. If it had been me in this video I would have held on to the back of a car as I sped away, put my walk man ear phones in to my ears in order to rock out to some Huey Lewis and the News tunes.
Have you seen the Christian Hosoi documentary, Rising Son? Pretty rough stuff. Seems like he’s doing okay now, though. I guess it depends on how you feel about his being a born again Christian, but at least he seems happy and healthy.
I did see that documentary and concur it is worthy of a recommendation. Hella rad netflix rental.
Are you Marty McFly?
OH YEAH!? Well do you remember that one videogum blog post about back to the future three, that little kid at the end making the gimme hand gesture before pointing at his dick? That kid is YOU!
I wasn’t insulting you?
But yes, that was me. Sadly, that split second lapse proved fatal to my career as a child star.
HAha you’re a failed child actor
what’s the big deal?
Big Deal? You didn’t burn one for me!
Move over, Duran Duran
You mean the All-Muslim cover band, Quran Quran?
I meant Muslim James Bond movie Quran of Solace
Win.
Someone should make a Quran out of those trick birthday candles so we can keep this thing in the news cycle FOR EVEN LONGER.
i must be the time traveler’s wife, b/c how did that guy get here from 1982?
and, yes, he’s been practicing his grab.
There, I fixed it. #shittyMSpaintskills
#shittyMSpaintkills, also.
He’s just being existential, does anyone really have a Quaran?
grad students are the worst!
“There is no Quaran.” – Morpheus
Terry Richardson’s little brother is all about religious tolerance.
Gotta love Spike Jonze and his kooky publicity stunts!
other possible suspects:
The Quarana Grabber!
This is in direct violation of Gob’s animation rights. Cease and desist immediately!
If only Unitarian/Universalist skaters could solve all of our problems.
Hey, Jacob: Emo Phillips called, he wants the top half of your head back. Oh, and Jeffrey Dahmer’s old mugshot called, it wants your lower face back.
This has potential, but you mixed up the pronouns. At least I think. Wouldn’t Emo want the top half of HIS head back? And wouldn’t Mr. Dahmer want HIS lower face back?
- Internet Grammar Inspector, Badge #54.
Do you know the pronoun “you”? As in, “Fuck you”? Not only am I a comment artist, I am a professional copyeditor by trade. I know what I’m doing. But thank you for playing.
I actually signed up to comment because yours is an explosion of wrongness and arrogance that forms a shining supernova of douchebaggerry. You have to use “his” or it doesn’t make sense. And learn how to take a joke dude. If you’re really a copyeditor you have some rules to go back over.
Why don’t you learn how to take a joke, “dude”? You and xaa over here. All I was saying was I purposely twisted the ownership in my original comment, to be a little different, and I don’t need some lunkhead unpacking my own little joke for me and then scolding me?
You should probably just delete your account here straightaway and get one at Literalgum.
GOD LONGBOARDS RULE
You mean “ALLAH LONGBOARDS RULE”.
Is that the Eye of Sauron behind the initial anchorwoman?
“He was like ‘I’m gonna burn this Quran,’ and then I was like, ‘You dick!”
Take two:
Ain’t no hipster like an Amarillo hipster, cuz an Amarillo hipster don’t let people burn the Qur’an
‘Dude, you have no Jews” – Oscar Schindler.
Too much? Eh, sue me.
Did anyone else think it was kind of weird/hilarious that he was going to burn it in one of those silly little park grills?
One of the other zealots brought the burgers and brats. They were going to tailgate for the Amarillo Gorillas hockey game after the burning. Until that dirty hippie ruined everything.
To quote the wisest sage of our time:
Homer : Well, not the Unitarians. If that’s the one true faith, I’ll eat my hat.
They should have burned Fahrenheit 451 because that’s just good clean ironic fun.
The writing in this post reminds me of Kiefer’s dialogue:
http://www.creasedcomics.com/video_page.php?id=23
I don’t know about “boyfriend,” but I’d maybe let him let me smoke all his pot.
Are you serious? Couldn’t get to see the video because the account is not longer available. Anyways, What I do know is that if you want to share HD videos while hooking up, well there’s only one app that allows you to do that. Download GuySpy and start showing off. http://guyspy.com