Photos
You know what? He’s probably not even sad. This is probably some kind of long con. He gets us all to feel bad for him, and to invite him into our homes for a cup of hot soup and some friendly conversation, and the next thing you know, he has moved into the guest bedroom. At first we just tell our friends that it’s because he’s so sad, and that he just needs a place to recharge his batteries. But then our friends start pointing out that he sure doesn’t seem sad when they hear him laughing into his cell phone with the door closed, or sitting on our couch eating all our food and shouting at the television. But so then we explain that if anything, this is just a sign that we’ve done the right thing. Wasn’t the whole point of inviting Keanu inside to cheer him up? So it’s working! Good for us! Great for him! A few months go by, and now we are starting to think that maybe our friends had a point. Is he ever going to leave? And now when he makes his sad face it feels fake somehow. Is he faking his sad face? But you don’t want to tell someone that you think they’re faking their sad face. That’s a pretty intense thing to say to someone, and if they aren’t faking their sad face, then you’ll just make them sadder, and if you just make them sadder than maybe they really won’t ever leave. And then one day you wake up, and you’re lying in a bathtub of ice, and Sad Keanu is gone, along with all of your furniture, the contents of your bank account, and your kidney. CLASSIC LONG CON.
Click through to enlarge. (Photo via Dlisted.)
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When you think about it, Keanu Reeves’ whole career has been a long con.
So sad Keanu got to you, too, huh?
I miss my kidney every day. I mean, I still have lefty, but lefty sucks.
How can I upvote this post?
DIGG IT!
Sad Keanu? More like SEXY Keanu!
More like Sexy Kea-yes!
More like Sexy KeanBLAM!
he’s setting up a huge blam on all of us right now.
RIGHT?! He doesn’t look sad so much as exhausted from all the super satisfying, athletic, sexual healing I’ve been giving him as part of his Cheer Up Therapy. He barely cries at all anymore when we’re necking! (Mr. Kira wasn’t thrilled about it but when I explained the situation he said that it was okay because it was charity.)
He doesn’t really look sad in this one, even. In fact, if this picture were isolated from all the other sad Keanu photos, I’d probably think he just got laid. He just looks bed-rumpled and drowsy.
Sad Keanu is dead. Long live Sad Don Draper!
AVATAR LOVE! Empire Records was the shit!
you don’t know anything about avatar love. THIS is avatar love:
Oops — the guy on the right just ate my soul with his eyes.
“navii will do that in the sequel” [scribbles something on a notepad]
– james cameron
Oops – now the gnashing teeth of Chthulu will torment you for all eternity in glorious 3D.
I felt this Sunday’s Mad Men did what many shows try on television and actually succeeded, so I’m a little frustrated that this is becoming a thing. (http://saddondraper.tumblr.com/)
That’s what we call it here, right? A thing?
Not if fourisfive catches you.
Hear that fourisfive?!! YA BURNT!!!
The whole “Thing” of making tumblrs for something that’s only entertaining in it’s first two iterations is getting old.
Once again… The Sad KeDonu.
You never accepted my wedding proposal.
Weddingcakeordeath, I’m putting that 24-karat diamond upvote on your finger right this moment! May we argue about who picks up the kids from soccer practice until cake (or death) do us part.
How dare you, cakeordeath?! Are you cheating on me with dollartheater.tv? Heartless!
why can I only upvote this once
Don. Don. Listen, bro, you got…a little…something…you know what, nevermind.
OOH THIS IS SO NOT GOOD
I am literally powerless when it comes to tough bad guys breaking down and crying HE’S JUST A SICK PUPPY YOU GUYS LOOK AT HIM COME HERE I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU
Have you noticed that we never saw Sad Keanu before Patrick Swayze died? He really just can’t get over the fact that the Point Break sequel is never going to happen now. We should ALL be sad about that.
Maybe Kurt Russell could step in and do a Darrin Stephens-type deal.
Kurt Russel is the best.
I found out two things by looking at that picture:
1) Keanu Reeves looks like Josh Groban in that picture.
2) I apparently not only know who Josh Groban is, but what he looks like as well.
Huh, you learn something new everyday.
and here come the photoshops….
YAYY For No Photoshop (And TOO Much Free Time) At Work!
And Yay For No Good Ideas of My Own for this Meme!
We share MS Paint skills;
That took me over half an hour!
He’s not sad. He just really wanted to loiter.
Sad Keanu = Happy Headlight
Time for sad Keenan instead!
We need to bring in Sawyer to determine if this is really a long con or just a sad face. He would know. He’s got both.
I’m beginning to think I shouldn’t have invested all my money with this guy.
I just want to give sad puppy a hug!
faced with the choice between sad keanu or sad puppy, i’m really stumped. can i chose both or is that creepy? OR maybe their sads cancel each other out?
You’re not having good luck with your pics today. Here you go, friend. I’ll give it a shot.
Thanks for the try thisismynightmare. Thisisnotmyday.
He could afford nicer shoes than that.
I think it’s Less Sad Keanu in a Long Con and more, “are You Fucking Serious. I walked into this alley with my coffee to avoid you papparazzi fucks. And I can’t. Are You Seriously Popping out of a Dumpster, dude?”
Yes? No?
To be fair, the paparazzi probably thought he was a hungover Justin Long.
That, or he just hasn’t started on his coffee yet. I suspect I look more like that in the morning than I am entirely comfortable with, sans beard.
Because you shave at night?
I suspect he may be modeling Derelicte. Damn you, Mugatu!
Is it me or is sad Keanu slowly morphing into a quasi older Julian Casablancas?
The hair is totes Julian.
[IMG]http://i53.tinypic.com/2d0c56q.jpg[/IMG]
But he’s really just the poor man’s Adam Green.
Suite jackets and coiffed white guy hair. Is this a club or something? And if so were do I sign up?
Yeahyouright!
You may be eating too many Multiviatmins, IPG, or not drinking enough water. WATCH OUT FOR KIDNEY STONES
Kidney stones are no joke! I had my first when I was 9, youngest person in Florida to ever have one! #knowyourmonsters
I’m sure it’ll work itself out. I hear its good luck in Bangladesh!
loving the “Sad Keanu OR Human Emotions”
stay golden, Bing
Dogstar lyrics.
Wyld Stallyn lyrics
Did somebody make a ‘YOU SAD’ jpg yet? If not somebody should maybe make a ‘YOU SAD’ jpg. If so, please disregard this comment. No loitering.
THIS ONE WORKS!
Oops! Looks like you got it!
Thanks anyway, web bff.
I think he just needs a vacation. On JUGGALO ISLAND!
He sure knows how to have fun! (I did not make this)
That dog on the left is so enthusiastic about that contraption. Either that or he’s taunting those dogs that actually have a job to do.
I see your fun you didn’t make are raise you something i didnt make!
Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!
We might as well pack up the internet because we are NEVER going to beat this. I may have cracked a rib I laughed so damn hard.
Tayne you are the Prometheus of Videogum: you stole a joke from the internet gods (wherever you got this from) and gave it to the mortals.
OMFG. I had to log in just to upvote this. FTW, man! ROFL!
Poor Sad Charlemagne. I mean Paul Mounet. I MEAN KEANU REEVES.
He saved us all from the Matrix; show some goddamn respect.
All Keanu Reeves wants is a homemade pie. SOMEBODY JUST GIVE HIM A DAMN PIE!
Holy shit, I guess he really WASN”T fucking with us…
Also… NEW PARTY GAME! Photoshop Keanu’s Suicide Note! (Clean version below)
Shame on us all.
“Whoa is me.”
-Keanu
“Both pills.”
- Keanu.
“vaya con dios, brah.”
- Keanu
“San Dimas High School Football Sucks!”
A round of upvotes for everyone! You’re ALL WINNERS!
I’m still taller
god it’s just stupid how gorgeous he is. STUPID.
Funny how we could rearrange those words and it would be equally true as in, “god it’s just gorgeous how stupid he is. GORGEOUS.”
I scanned this into tumblr about a month ago from my personal collection of teen magazines. This is proof that Sad Keanu has been around since at least 1991
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6rghgLFcV1qbm4e0o1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1284064445&Signature=nMQw8S1THn%2BGyhjhs4d80bVZ%2BXA%3D
That may not work, so here’s the other url. http://pollyannapositive.tumblr.com/post/915483171/sad-keanu-circa-1991-proof-that-keanu-isnt
More like piss-ass wasted Keanu if you ask me…
rb, you have no upvote button. This is a problem for me…
Wha happened?
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100907/REVIEWS/100909992
When I was in Prague this summer I had to cringingly endure a couple from Texas laugh hysterically at fact that our waiter used phrases from the movie Borat. And while Borat was clearly making fun of these people, the couple seemed to think they were the ones with the upper-hand, meaning every time Borat walked away they would crack up hysterically and say funny Borat things and get quiet only when Borat would come back with a Budveiser or Stroganoff or whatever. Point is, Joaquin Phoenix’s new movie, “I’m Not Really Me and Where the Fuck is Casey Affleck’s Fucking Double Burger?” is a poor man’s version of that couple.
Now, Keanu Reeves is making sad faces around town in an attempt to fuck with us squares? Where is the connection? I got my eye on you, Gus Van Sant.
And at the lowest end of all this awesome postmodernity, Weezer’s new album “Hurley” with the pic of Hurley from Lost on the cover. What are you trying to communicate RIVER(S) (head explodes)?
I guess what I’m trying to say is fuck everyone involved in the fucking face for forcing Joaquin’s to make this movie. Also, fuck Steve Winwood.
Also zis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvWh6PMi9Ek
You NEVER invite Keanu inside. Bad things can happen, Like this: