Photos
After the jump, I have posted a British television commercial for potato chips (or as they are called across the pond, lorry crisps) featuring Lionel Richie singing a parody version of his hit song “Say You Say Me.” As you will discover, it is not the original lyrics about being in love, nope, now the lyrics are about CRUNCY POTATO CHIPS! Good grief. If the ad is to be believed, Lionel Richie is a total chiphead. You might be trying to have a pleasant picnic with your friends, or ride the bus to the hospital, and here he comes, singing his song. And then he SPOILER ALERT gets thrown through a window. Now, look, I’ve never had a hit single that dads across America played in their cars on a near endless loop until Sting’s Field of Gold came out, and we all have to put food on our families, but somehow there’s something about entering your golden years and finding yourself forced to parody one of the highlights of your entire life in order to pay for your upcoming pool house renovations and/or hip replacement surgery that I find almost impossibly depressing. Chips are supposed to be about HAVING FUN, not tripping our way face-first down the stairs to death’s door while children laugh at us!
Doritos would never pull something like this. They are a gentlemen’s snack. (Via AdFreak.)
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Nicole must be sooooo embarrassed right now. Parents are the worst.
When you told me he was going to get thrown though a window, I didn’t really think he would be thrown through a window. Poor Lionel.
They call them Walkers because “Lay”s means sex in Britain, guys.
I was all prepared to think this was a cute commercial where Lionel was poking fun at himself, but you were right you were right- it started out depressing and didn’t get much better.
Can’t we just stick to commercials with creepy men kissing miniature animals, advertising?
“Agreed” — Sterling Cooper Draper Price
You say that in America too. I should know.. I’ve read several books!
Leather bound books?
Your mother’s romance novels? I’m on to you, Duncan!
“Walkers: The Cure for the Common Lay” — Dick Whitman
In Britain the cure for the common lay is spelt “WaNkers.”
OH MAN!
So I work in a commercial post-production facility, and the people who edited that DirectTV ad did so here, and even while they were cutting it they assumed that it was too weird to ever get aired.
This is why, today, whenever someone at my office wants to express pleasure at something, they say, “I JUMP IN EET.”
I upvoted you because you have a job… congratulations!
“that’s all we need, another black guy telling us to share.”
– that guy in the glen beck rally video
Lionel Hussein Richie
And so Walkers snags the elusive amateur Weird Al Yankovic demographic.
I can’t see Lionel Richie without thinking of the incredibly creepy video he did for “Hello.” Hello blind lady, mind if I stalk you?
This was one of my favorite videos on VH1′s classic TV show “Pop Up Video.” Also, Rod Stewart’s “Forever Young” b/c the pop up bubbles made him look like a pedophile. And for some reason…that was really funny to me.
Awww, I miss Pop Up Video.
Wasn’t it the best? They re-air the old episodes on VH1 Classic from time to time.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
What exactly do old lesbians smell like?
I told you, Steve, I already have a date to prom. Smell some other girl’s pits.
Remind me, is that sculpture supposed to be him or her?
Its him. I wonder if Lionel was at all upset when he saw that. “Damn, is my chin really that enormous?”
Maybe this was the moment he realized he and his stalkee had the exact same hair.
Don’t joke about this, Gabe. Sting once approached me in a supermarket singing about Fields of Rold Gold and then had tantric sex with my fiance for three days. And that wasn’t even for a commercial.
I hope you thanked him before he left.
It’s better they went in this direction, as opposed to the suggested “Dancing on the Ceiling (and leaking poo upside down on you all due to the Ôlestra)”
All Night Long (Acid Reflux)
My favorite joke from 5th grade…
How long was Lionel Ritchie on the toilet?
All night long.
Hello, this video is exactly what I’ve been looking for! This is going to have me dancing on the ceiling all night long!
Godsauce is my new best friend now, dog
well at least it’s better than his last snack commercial…
You were at 0 votes when I loaded the page, and when I clicked to upvote it jumped immediately to +5 and I felt LIKE A GOD.
In Britain we call those biscuits.
MINDBLOWING
That’s just good Photoshop right there.
The most amazing thing is Layer One is a photo of ?uestlove
This is just the best thing ever EVER.
much like how dove “campaign for real beauty” and axe” wash your hair and women will sleep with you” body washes are owned by the same company, and basically the same product save fragrance, walkers and doritos are both frito-lay endeavors. open your eyes, sheeple!
But it’s hard to see the truth with rectangular pupils!
It ain’t no “Hot Drinks” but I can get with it.
Just for future reference, I will upvote anything attached to a .gif of Dule Hill.
DAMN! I was saving that gif for the perfect moment. You beat me to it.
I upvoted you for the mere idea that you would post a .gif of Dule Hill. What I am saying is, I like-a the Psyche.
Cakeordeath, this is how I know we were made for each other. Well, it’s either you and me, or me and Dule Hill. HAWT.
THIS is how you know? You had me at George Clooney.
True story: Walker’s has a flavor of chips called “Builder’s Breakfast,” which tastes like eggs and bacon. Not sure what you should do with that information, but there you have it.
Also a true story: Ruffles has a delicious flavor called “All Dressed” that is only sold in Canada. Oh sorry, I meant “flavour.”
I got into a fight with a friend recently while I was visiting Minneapolis. I was so sure they had All Dressed chips, but she just looked at me like, “you guys have what flavoured chips? what does that mean?”
cool story, bro.
“In Canada, seasonings include dill pickle, ketchup, barbecue, all dressed (a combination of those three flavors)…”
These sound kind of barf but people on the internet like them. I just got lost in like a 15 minute internet wormhole researching them.
To add to this unrelated conversation, there is no ranch dressing outside of North America, as far as I know.
The illustration on the bag of All Dressed is a red bell pepper, an onion, and vinegar. I believe the magic ingredient is MSG.
In Iceland, Cool Ranch Doritos are called Cool American:
My friend came to visit me from Germany, tasted ranch, and didn’t stop chugging it til he left a week later. Also of interest: “Vat is this soft piece off paper vith all off your clothes?”*
*Dryer sheet.
Major missed opportunity for Hot Chip.
Also, this video apparently broke bing: “Sorry, there are no Video results for this search.”
What’s up with the Snack aisle of Death? Run away from the light, Carol Ann!
When I was at University (College?!?) we did a course on advertising and had to develop a television ad pitch for Doritos.
My eventual, winning (in our imaginary classroom minds) ad consisted of men in dorito costumes jumping up and down whilst thousands of doritos rained down on them as they jumped into the screen via a trampoline effect, with the slogan “Have a bag of fun”
I miss Education….
Oh, oh, let me try: Once, twice, three times a dorito? No? Too chEasy? Sorry – Can’t Slow Down. BLAM!