Photos
Don is trying to have a business meeting in his office about the big shoe polish account when he gets a phone call from the New York Times. The reporter wants to know how he feels about another advertising firm taking over for the Clearasil account, the same firm that took over the jai alai account. Uh, I can answer this one: HE FEELS CALM AND COLLECTED, AS USUAL. These reporters with their GOTCHA journalism. The more things change the more they stay gotcha journalism. Although, you can tell that Don is a little annoyed because he puts one extra ice cube in his pre-lunch glass of gin. Truth be told, I don’t really understand why he would be bothered about the Clearasil thing. He had to give up the account because he got a bigger account, so who cares. That’s like the New York Times calling to ask him how he feels about someone taking over his sloppy seconds. (In this metaphor, Clearasil is an emotionally detached sexual partner rather than a facial cleanser.) Also, this show might need to relax a little bit with all of the reporters always trying to get the scoop on the latest advertising industry gossip. We’ve all read newspapers. THOSE ARE NOT IMPORTANT ARTICLES THEY ARE WRITING.
Now, if you will excuse him, Don has a date at Benihana.
A couple of months ago, I went to Benihana for the first time with some friends. It was in a strip mall in Long Island. Most of the people there were teenagers on dates, and people who liked their cocktails very SWEET. There was one group of people dining at one of the horseshoe dining corrals across from ours where one of the men refused to take out his BLUETOOTH EARPIECE. We had a really fun time, and we ate a lot of food cooked right in front of us, but it wasn’t that fancy or anything, is my point, it kind of felt like Epcot Center, and also I couldn’t help feeling upset the whole time that my hard-earned money (the hardest earned in the world?) was going straight into Steve Aoki’s DJ Boyz slush fund. But look at Don sitting there! He looks great!
Up walks this young hotshot from another advertising agency, you know, the one everyone can’t wait to read about in the New York Times?! He gives Don a hard time. Even his wife is like “Whoa.” Don seems a little ruffled by it, but it’s probably just the overhead lighting at Benihana. It really can be garish. I suppose it keeps the focus on the food? When he gets home, the babysitter from down the hall who Don is definitely going to KABANG later this season (don’t doubt it) tells him not to get mad (uh oh) but Sally cut her hair. Don doesn’t get mad. He gets VERY mad. He gives her severance and also says the word “shit”! Language Don! You are in mixed company, not joking around with the boys down at the racist, anti-Semitic Country Club, sir! He is mostly mad because Betty is going to be mad. And she is! Don is like “You need to CHILL.”
She sends Sally up to her room. Henry suggests that she is mad at Don, not Sally. Henry says he understands, because in the early days of his divorce, his time with his children was precious, and it makes him so mad that Don hired a sitter instead of spending time with Sally and the other one who doesn’t even have a storyline about being troubled. For a second I was like, he has a point, Don should have stayed home. But then I was also like, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, HENRY. It seems to me that when you break up a marriage, regardless of the other person’s willingness, unhappiness, or collusion, then you have ceded your ability to give MORAL SPEECHES about ANYTHING. Aren’t you going to be late to the clearance sale at the J. Crew Sweater Outlet, Henry?
And then, of course, this:
MAKE HER FEEL GOOOOOOOOOOOD.
Alternately:
GO TO JAILLLLLLLLLLLL.
Meanwhile, Roger is so mad about the Honda account, because his friend died in World War II. It’s basically as if Honda was trying to open a Mosque Dealership at Ground Zero. At first he just tells everyone they are not doing business with Honda. But then, when everyone is like “hush, Roger,” he interrupts their meeting and insults Honda right to their faces. Yikes. On a sidenote: at some point during this episode I actually did the math for the first time, and figured out that Sally Draper is about my parents age, which would make Don Draper and Betty Henry about my grandparents age. And that is when things really started to feel weird in my thoughts! Anyway, I’m kind of on Team Roger on this one, actually. I mean, it’s not fair to make an entire nation of people suffer in perpetuity for the nation’s role in a multi-national violent conflict (the same way that I do feel that Americans should be able to travel on vacation in foreign countries without being spit upon, for example, because that’s no fun) but you certainly can hold their multi-million dollar corporations responsible at least inasmuch as you can choose not to have dealings with them. “Some of us are trying to build something here,” Pete says. Sure, Pete. Like when you tried to BUILD A BABY IN PEGGY’S TUMMY?
So they lost the Honda account, just like they lost all the accounts. Except that Don read a book called The Art of War The Chrysanthemum and the Sword and came up with a scheme. He’s a regular Ocean’s 12, he is. They will simply get the other advertising guy, Mr. New York Times Top Story, to THINK that they are breaking the rules and spending all their money on an ad, even though that is expressly forbidden in the rules laid out by Honda. Then, in order to beat him at his own game, Mr. News will do the same thing. Except his own game isn’t that game at all, it’s another game. And when Don shows up, he explains that Honda didn’t honor its own rules, and he resigns the company from the competition. And that is how they WIN the competition.
DING DONG. This guy knows what Don’s talking about:
Roger apologizes to everyone for having principles and promises never to have principles again. Yay!
Henry talks Betty into thinking Sally needs to go to therapy. Don is not happy about it. He knows that nothing good ever comes from talking about your feelings, or even having feelings in the first place. He knows that all Sally really needs is a bunch of whiskey and a cigarette. Betty goes to the therapist to see if she will be a good therapist for Sally. The therapist is like “You know who I would REALLY like to give some therapy to? You, you coconut.” Don will probably fuck the therapist before the season is over.
Gotta land the big Child Therapy account somehow. Some people are trying to build something here.
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Hahahaha! How long have you been sitting on this little gem?
ALL FUCKING DAY! Seriously! I found that last night (with the one m) while i was watching Mad Men for only the second time in my life…and then there was all this talk about masturbating and anti-Semitism and a few minutes in Photoshop later and *BAM*
You’re welcome.
Well, it sounds like you truly earned it.
Don’t you mean *HAMM*? Booyah and thank you!
If masturbating whilst looking at David McCallum is wrong then I’m going to have to stop watching NCIS.
I love how Betty kept saying that Sally was caught masturbating “in public.” It’s not like she did it at a Bodeans concert, Bets.
I hope the filming of that 10 year old masturbating was less awkward then the watching of that 10 year-old masturbating.
BFD -Todd Solondz
I like how Gabe magically made it even more awkward. Great job!
I was like nah, they’re not gonna go there. NO. NOOOOOOOO they did! GROSS. And then all I could think about was all the inappropriate comments that were to be on videogum.
Really? The masturbation scene wasn’t dirty or over the top, it was just an actress playing a little girl discovering her self. I was more shocked by the hitting (because I don’t watch this show enough) and more upset by the fictitious mom fictitiously adding shame, guilt and confusion to her fictional daughters burgeoning sexuality.
The grossest thing I thought was despite the rest of that scene her haircut turned out really cute (no pedo). And the most inappropriate thing I posted was that picture of ham.
But, if you want I could post something grosser.
As usual, we want.
I thought it was done really well. In fact I didn’t even know what was going on until that wet blanket of a mom came in and flipped out.
I can assure you it was not.
I’ve been waiting all morning for this! YAAAAAAAAAAAY. Thanks for sending Benji to his appropriate bedtime – it would’ve been too much of a weird moment with Sally because kids these days.
Looks like somebody graduated from the Kristen Stewart school of “acting”
“We’re dead in the water!” — Pete
“Oof.” — Me
Also, 5 down and no sight of the teacher. This truly is a wonderful season.
No teacher, but we’re stuck with the nurse:
“Christ on a cracker!” – Pete
I wonder what Glenn has to say about this.
Who do you think told Sally that sex was peeing inside someone? She said it was her friend, but it was totally Glenn. He was wearing this shirt when he told her.
Kid is fuckin’ Ron Jeremy, waiting to happen…
Ew.
Obvs, it was lil’ Hugh Jackman.
Christ, it looks like Iwo Jima out there
gif request of Peggy driving the motorcycle around in the empty set
Also, I’m very afraid of where all of this is leading with Sally. If they bring professional creep boy wonder Glenn back into the picture, I foresee very bad things happening.
I don’t have much to say about Sally, but I agree that somebody needs to get that gif pronto.
Your .gif is my command. (Also someone posted on the True Blood thread.)
Oh really? Guess I should start browsing the True Blood threads then. I usually skip them.
Thanks though!
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Well shit, Steve. That’s why I gave credit.
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I think she was just driving round to see if she could last as long the drinking bird…
“Don’t touch it. I want to see how long it goes.” – Peggy
ATGSTTS
New guy: “We’re trying to figure out what makes it work.”
Don: “We’re still trying to figure out what makes YOU work.”
Sally is not “fast!” It’s frustrating watching her be ruined by everyone around her. I will even contend that she had no idea what she was doing in the masturbation scene. Betty continues to be the worst, and I swear to God if Glenn comes back… is this how people who watch soap operas talk about their shows? I feel funny.
Are you out of gas? Because you’ve been riding a little red Honda motorcycle through my mind all day.
C’mon Sally, get with the therapy program:
Boo. Picture fail.
“To alcohol–the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” Except, it would seem, the ability to properly post a picture.
Not to be professor True Blood here, but didn’t this lady cut her fingers off at the Bon Temps orgy last season?
That’s Your Future Therapist, baby Notsewfast.
That’s your Future Face, Joan
Well, if it is, she can counsel herself about it.
Sally’s therapist knows crazy:
Speaking of Professor True Blood, maybe (s)he can help me with this:
If Don Draper plays his cards right, he may just get a bathtub handjob.
Loved Roger’s jokes about how the Japanese like to sneak up on you and they won’t get the message until you drop the big one … wait for it… twice! Jap crap.
You probably LOVED Gran Torino.
Only the racist parts. Clint Eastwood as angry racist old guy = funny. Cheesy drama with cheesy singing at the end = GARBAGE!!!
I had major LOLs at the “We know you love surprises!” line. Then I felt really bad about myself.
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Caring about political correctness is also known as not being a racist.
I think we’re just clashing today, Steve.
Caring about Trolls is also known as being crazy bdub23231. You just got served.
I know there is a clever way to link Roger being chastised by Pete and Don for not letting WWII go after 20 years and much of our current nation’s inability to let 9/11 go after 10 years but I am unable to make it at this time.
What’s that? That war is still going on? Oh.
“Letting go” of 9/11 isn’t necessary with the Muslim center in lower manhattan because the Cordoba dudes are no more related to Al Qaeda than your typcial YMCA is related to the KKK.
Wheras the Honda Motorcycle Company (est. 1948) was integral to the war strategies of Imperial Japan.
“The Japanese don’t fix the blame, they fix the problem, Kohai.” – Sean Connery
I wasn’t referring to community center, Steve-o. However, your attempt to troll highlights precisely why people haven;t let go of 9/11. The now extremely vague reasons for even being in Afghanistan, combined with the economic difficulties of the past few years have led all kinds of bat-shittery from the American public. They can’t identify the true enemies of culprits so they have blamed Islam as a whole. A fucking immaterial set of beliefs and cultures.
No, the community center has nothing to with Al Qaeda. that’s why so many people peeved about the vitriol spilling from middle America about this.
I guess in the end, my joke was a poor one b/c there really isn’t much correlation. In WWII, we were fighting a Imperialistic force with clear goals of world domination and after we were victorious our country experienced its greatest period of prosperity whereas this whole War on Terror (more fighting with idea, not people) has only lightly related enemy forces from all corners of the globe acting independently and for different purposes yet we relate it back to the events of 9/11 and the current 10 YEAR war in Afghanistan. Oh and we’re all broke, only adding to the anger and confusion.
tl;dr
… what do you mean by “middle America” …
I think he means Queens and Staten Island.
Professor Let Go over here…
Also, can we just say Delocated is the best? Meat suite!
I think we need to go on a laycation. (gross)
GRIEF JERKY!
Gabe, are you just mad because you didn’t win the VW Dharma van at the LOST auction this weekend because you have now managed to mention Sawyer in both of your recaps today.
And talking about Volkswagen, did everybody love how Roger said volkswagen?
And of course by Roger, I mean Pete. Whoops.
Hooray! Best mad men review to date.
Except for that part where you are being all neo-con! I kid…
Rad gif.
I have a DVD player (true story) and just rewatched Happiness and can now confirm that Jared Harris does a mean Russian accent.
Pryce sure knows his way around an awkwardly placed column.
I could literally watch this all day long. Literally.
“How does she not fall over?” — Honda Executive
“Not very subtle, are they?” — Joan
“No they are not!” – Japanese Interpreter
“You think that’s bad, wait till you check out their anime tentacle rape.” – Japanophile creepy perv in the background.
“I have no idea what this room is for.” — Japanese interpreter
I think that was my favorite part of the episode.
Could someone make a gif of Don’s sassy “goodbye” to his kids when he dropped them off at Betty’s? it was my second favorite moment after Peggy’s sexy motorbiking.
I miss Fun Roger the Racist!
Don’s secretary is my favorite character right now.
“MR. COOPER AND MR. STERLING!”
“Did I receive any packages today?”
“YES.”
“Can you bring them in, please?”
tussle tussle tussle
“IT SAYS DON ON IT.”
i believe that’s gabe’s girfriend.
That’s the Karate Kid’s mom. Related: If Sterling wanted to get past Don and fight Pete, he should have gone with the crane kick.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA hold up a second. Ms. Blankenship is played by Lucille Larusso?! This explains so much!
MISTERS Cooper and Sterling!
What about when she called both phones in Don’s office and then ended up just yelling over the intercom? I love her so much.
And did I hear her say “Mr. Peters & Mr. Pryce are here) when Pete and Lane rolled up? She’s the best.
“It is true. 10-year-old girls cannot resist me.” – Illya Kuryakin
I guess they didn’t have Cinemax back then.
I think we’ve all forgotten the most important question raised by this episode: Who is Dr. Lyle Evans???
I believe he is both FAKE and GAY.
It’s an anagram for “Let’s crash Google.”
it only makes sense when combined with “DID YOU GET PEARS?” and other cryptic remarks from this season.
The whole pears thing was representative of how Don used to be able to keep his private life uh… private, when in that episode it was put on display for everyone after his secretary lost her shit.
And I’m pretty sure Dr. Lyle Evans is just a name they made up to troll the people who only watch the show for the historical references.
(insert humorous comment here, i guess)
I thought the “did you get pears” thing was just about how Don realized he was never going to grow old with anyone. It seemed like marriage was the big theme of the episode.
Dr. Lyle Evans is probably a retard who works at McCann Erickson.
Possibly this person: http://books.google.com/books?id=czD4RQAACAAJ&dq=%22lyle+evans+mahan%22&hl=en&ei=FbpyTKfMGYaisAPY1vXRCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CDAQ6AEwAQ
According to Metafilter, Lyle Evans Mahan “wrote an anti-German pamphlet for the Society to Prevent WWIII which appears to have argued that Germany would still pose a potential threat to the US after it was defeated.”
This person, from the old movie The Hucksters (1947?) – http://www.tcm.com/video/videoPlayer/?cid=241436&titleId=2236
Two things,
One: They need to kill off, or just remove, Don’s secretary. I don’t watch “Mad Men” for “Golden Girls” style jokes about old people.
Two: Roger is a racist, even for that time period (especially because it’s that time period). Nobody had any compunction about doing business with Germany by the sixties.
Was it the secretary or Roger that got me downvoted? I’ll contend that the Roger thing might be up for debate, but really… the secretary’s gotta go.
I didn’t downvote you (sure, I didn’t), but I think it was the secretary. I will take as many Golden Girls-style jokes as I can get. How can you hate such a lovely woman?
I just feel like she’s a caricature in a drama filled with well drawn characters.
I agree with krasdale – she’s a poor character.
she was cute, not for this show though =/
why are you downvoted?, i completely agree and thought everyone else would too. I could handle it maybe once, like comic relief for a split second, but not as a character, even a small one.
Chris Hansen led FBI raid in 3…2…1…
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AMC does a thing where curse words are written in closed captioning with question marks, like Shit = S??? I would anticipate lots of confused deaf people wondering why characters are forcefully questioning a letter in the middle of a sentence. “Do you know the river of S??? I will get from my ex-wife?” Those are two very confusing sentences.
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/viafizzlefazzlewhipwhop.gif?w=200&h=250
Blargh. Fail. Let’s try again.
Christ on a cracker!
Another great Peteism.
One of my true inspirations in life always said, “Christ on a bike!” That made me happy.
I say that one from time to time and I was surprised to hear it was a real expression. I’m glad it was Pete, he’s my fav.
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