This is a photo of Jay-Z hugging Gwyneth Paltrow. I’m not sure when it was taken, where it was taken, or why they are hugging. Obviously, they’re somewhere nice, which is almost always the case when two incredibly rich and famous people meet. “Jay-Z hugs Gwyneth Paltrow on the oil-stained lot of an abandoned gas station four miles outside of Cincinnati, Ohio.” No. Nice places, only. Of course, we already know that Gwyneth Paltrow is friends with him. Her kids call him “Uncle Jay”! (GROSS!) (At the very least, it is gross that I know that!) But seeing this incontrovertible proof of the warm and friendly bond that one of the greatest rappers of all time shares with one of the most insufferable women on the planet, it’s just too much. It is like seeing a dear, close friend HUG GWYNETH PALTROW. I mean, I know as well as anyone that the wealthy and famous enjoy the company of people who understand both of those things, but also: yuck. There is literally only one thing left to do: caption this photo. Sorry guys, we have to!
Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. AWWWWWW! (Image via David Cho.)