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Oh great. This ought to ensure that people keep automatically posting and freaking out about anything and everything Star Wars related on the Internet for the next 300 years.
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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
My favorite part was when Darth Vader had to take the elevator. He’s just like us!
I liked when the emperor had to use a screwdriver to unjam his light saber.
Usually if you open it up, blow on it twice, tap the side and then shake, it works just fine.
Be carefull not to peer into the bit where the blade comes out though.
#twss
Beat me to it!
#twis (that’s what I said?)
That’s Luke Skywalker, not the Emperor
Nerd.
That wasn’t the Emperor, it was Luke in a cave on Tattooine putting the finishing touches on his newly constructed lightsaber. That’s the whole point of the video, his completion of Jedi training.
* Didn’t mean to sound chastizing but informative. I am the hugest SW nerd
From the mind of M Night Shyamalan…
“Who hasn’t done anything of substance in 20 years NOW Leif Garrett?”
I think Hammil hasn’t been wasted, both as The Joker and the much more kiddie-friendly Cock-Knocker.
Metalocalypse
Sooooo…they were in purgatory the whole time???
Ought. You meant to say Ought.
This ought to start another long thread about grammar.
Guys. This is Gabe. Of course he meant to say aught. He can’t help it. His memory is failing. He sometimes drifts back to nineteen aught three, when he was just a little monster, dreaming of paw’s next trip to the feed store, where mebbe he’d bring back some hard candy and a seed catalogue to read. Or mebbe there’d just be root vegetables for dinner again.
What I am trying to say is, think of the elderly, who did not have Internets or Light Sabers or deleted scenes.
Did you hear that? That was the sound of 1,000 simultaneous nerd boners popping.
“Light Saber Envy” is still a diagnosable condition according to the DSM IV. Being “Light in the Loafers” was taken out since the last version. “Light Cycle Highway Hypnosis” isn’t in there yet because Tron 2 is still in the future.
Wait, why was the emperor working on that light saber in front of R2D2 and C3PO?
The next deleted scene shows him making a young R2D2 imitate the sounds of fixing the lightsaber.
I find the lack of CGI… disturbing…
PSYCHE! Just kiddin’, I hate fucking CGI
No amount of deleted lightsaber scenes will fill the hole in your sad, sad nerd hearts.
Do you mean a gaping hole?
WHOA, I seriously thought I was posting a pic of Rep. Louie Gohmert and that pic is what came up instead!! Whoops?
Now it’s just disturbingly sexual, but in a comical way!
“Yeah! Light saber repairs! I’ve been waiting years and years to see this!”
-The people who attended this convention, and absolutely nobody else.
“This answers my remaining question!”
Finally an answer to the question of how R2D2 got the lightsaber! It seems so obvious now!
This scene was probably cut because at the time no one had seen the green lightsaber yet, and this reveal at the start of the film was lame.
In the actual film itself the reveal had much more impact due to the fact that the first time the audience sees the green blade is when Luke turns it on after it being launched over to him by R2, during the battle over the vagina-dentata-like Sarlaac pit. A green blade in the midst of all the action definitely was more exciting than Luke sitting in a cave, being mistaken for the Emperor, and turning it on to make sure the batteries were put in the right way.
If I was to keep the scene in, I would have gone for an exterior shot of the cave and just had the sound effect of the lightsaber turning on to inform the audience that Luke’s new lightsaber worked, keeping the reveal over the Sarlaac Pit unmolested.
(DISCLAIMER: I was heavily into Star Wars fifteen years ago, and in lieu of writing a snappy reply making fun of this, I chose to just address it plainly from a “DVD Extras” kind of criticism. Because my post is very nerdy, as an added bonus I will say that Lucas is one crazy mofo, and during the making of Episode I he instructed a concept artist working on aliens to make them “more ethnic-looking.”)
I remember in 1980, just before Empire Strikes Back opened in the theaters, my parents showed me a newspaper article about how they made the Hoth portion of the film. In particular, the article was about the effects used to make the tauntauns. I was five at the time and really too young to understand, and I thought that the Empire had captured the Rebellion and put them in a fake snow world with fake animals to ride and that the Rebels didn’t realize this.
Then, the day I was going to go see the movie, an older kid from up the street told me that Darth Vader was Luke’s father and laughed at me while shooting his bb gun at my bare, soft calves.
A few years later, I was at my grandparents’ house. My father told my brother and I to get into the car becuase we were going to the movies. We cheered and asked what we were going to see.
“Psycho II,” he said. I began to cry becuase I was scared of having to see “Psycho II” (and I knew what that was because our father had already let us watch “Psycho”). He kept this story up, despite my tears, until we got to the drive-in and I saw we were really going to see “Return of the Jedi.”
I enjoyed the film.
On the day Episode I came out, it was my school’s official “Senior Skip Day” that the administrators held in an attempt to dissuade the seniors from actually skipping. It was held in the town’s main park, which had a man-made pond with a fountain. I had the four tickets for my friends and I in my wallet.
Some kids were going around and grabbing other kids and throwing them into the pond. After a while I was ambushed, and as I was being carried to the water I yelled, “Stop! Wait! I have Star Wars tickets in my wallet!” So the attacking party removed my wallet and then threw me in.
Had I known what I was actually in for, I probably wouldn’t have said anything. Oh, hindsight. You are a cruel mistress.
The only time I ever skipped school was to go see Episode 1′s first showing of the day. Living where I didi at the time, it took an hour to get to the nearest theater. I had a friend write up a doctor’s note, went to the film, and came back just as lunch hour was ending. All my nerd friends crowded around me and asked how it was….I didn’t have the heart to tell them and answered with a “I’ll need to see it again.”
My friend Shawn, my brother, and myself paid to see Wing Commander just so we can see the teaser trailer for Episode I.
I think your dad had already seen Return and just wanted to soften the blow for you.
“Mans, your mother and I are getting a divorce”
(Mans sobs uncontrollably.)
“PSYCHE! We’re actually just taking you to the dentist.”
Actually:
My Mother: “Your father is going on a business trip.”
Me: “Really? Will he bring me a present back?”
My Mother. “No, because we are actually just getting divorced.”
Me: “But we get two Christmases, right?”
My Mother: “No.”
The sad part is that this SECONDS of footage is the best thing to come out of the Star Wars universe in 27 years.
Nailed it.
I concur.
The sad thing about the CGI-enhanced versions of the original trilogy is that some of the more subtle enhancements are not noticed. For instance, during the Hoth battle sequence, All the fighter pilot cockpits were re-done with CGI to make them look less like a bunch of grown men being shaken around in a Wallmart toddler ride. And in the Cloud City scenes, when they walk by windows the views were enhanced to make it look more expansive. Plus all the colors were enhanced back to their original vibrance. If Lucas had just stuck to minor tweaks like this, instead of adding Greedo shooting first, the Sarlac Pit Little Shop of Horrors monster, and the fucking abominable Jabba dance revue thing, I think the enhanced versions would have been a lot more popular. At midnight I kill George Lucas.
After you kill him (or before, doesn’t matter), can you shave off his beard and take a picture for me? I’m really curious to see what his face looks like without his beard providing the optical illusion of an actual jawline.
The plot thickens! Geek conspiracy theorists are already claiming it’s fake :
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2010/08/16/new-star-wars-deleted-scene-features-fake-luke-skywalker/
(and, possibly, gay).