Photos
After the jump, I’ve posted a music video for a song called “Stupid Boy” by someone named T Mills, whoever that is. Now, it is possible that teenagers don’t actually like this song, in which case, teenagers, please accept my apology. But we know for a fact that teenagers like other songs that are very similar. It is in the vein of Ke$ha, with a little bit of Cobra Starship, and the 10-gauge ear-plugs of Brokencyce. The point is: teenagers like bad stuff. In fact, I take back my proposed apology to teenagers. Even if you don’t actually like T Mills, you definitely like the people who inspired T Mills and made him think, “hey, I could do that, and I probably SHOULD do that.” A rare miss, T Mills. And an unfortunately all too common miss, today’s teenagers.
After the jump: a magical video that will turn almost anyone into a grouchy, out of touch old man who thinks the world is just noise and can’t wait to go home to heaven and see his Barbara again.
When I was your age, candy cost a nickel, people traveled by horse-drawn chariot, Coca Cola was medicine, and music wasn’t a nightmarescape of screech-filled computerized garbage smirks. (Thanks for the tip, Tim.)
 |
 |
Couldn’t get past 17 seconds. I don’t want a skinnier Mike Herrera singing that at me.
If you can make it past that, you are a braver person than I.
I can attest first hand that teenagers suck at listening to music as 18-year-old me got an MxPx tattoo. Yoops!
I just designed the album cover for their latest album, Left Coast Punk!
Touche.
22 seconds my friend. I think, though, my libido is fried, permanently.
I tried to get as far as I could, but my connection was going so slow that I couldn’t make it past 7 seconds. I think my IP is encouraging me to make the right choice.
I made it all the way through! What did I win? Please tell me I won something cause I don’t think I can face myself if I did that for nothing.
You win an overarching sense of personal satisfaction and irrelevancy! Yay!
You won the entire T Mills collection, a signed 8X10 photograph, and you get to meet T Mills himself! Lucky!
I watched the whole thing, and even paused it when I got up to let my cat in.
Don’t you think its irresponsible to post terrorist training videos on here?
44 seconds. Had to get out of bed and take a drink of cold water. Am fine again.
Yup.
I liked him a lot better in Superbad.
Glad to see I wasn’t the only one thinking “Gee, Christopher Mintz-Plasse is REEEEALLLY sick of being typecast!”
Mr. Mills, the dry cleaners called to let you know that your tail is ready
thats right, i made it to the end
WOLF TEEN GANGS ARE TAKING OVER!
He’s got the Fantastic Mr. Fox’s tail! We’ve got to get it back!
I’m a teenager, but I still hate T Mills and Ke$ha. Is that allowed?
Promotion!
but you probably love sims 3, vampire diaries, and twilight*
*data collected from the teen choice awards
Leave The Sims out of this!
You caught me. I should have said “Shut up Grandpa! TMills is my generation’s Neutral Milk Hotel, OMG grown-ups are SOOOOOO STUPID!!!!!”
Everyone knows that there is a T-Mills cover of Kesha in the related videos on You Tube, right? I am not linking to it for fear of being held responsible for spontaneous self inflicted ear drum ruptures or cornea lacerations. Thought I would just let everyone know it exists…prepare yourself accordingly. I have ordered a hazmat suit.
How about the live one, with a chorus of 12 years olds singing along with EVERY SINGLE WORD?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVxPPscsE0w&feature=related
*0:00*
“Sure, I’ll give this thing a go. Open mind and all that”
*0:09*
“
That was meant to say *0:09* *shoots laptop* but it didn’t. T Mills is making a fool of us all today
I liked the first post as is. We all knew what you were going to say anyway.
I made it to 0:25. I deserve a Purple Heart.
Here, take three:
aww!
I had to summon the strength of all my ancestors just to make it to 1:59. My family is pisssssssed.
Jack Johnston is the lead singer of Brokencyce.
Looks like we’ve got a regular Ronny Dangerfield over here.
I’m loving this by the way. Reminds of me when I was in high school, during the pleistocene era, and my dad would be all “Turn down that Crashing Pumpkins! Damn GRUDGE MUSIC!”
That was probably in response to the hand coming out of the back of Billy Corgan’s head.
When I was in high school, I would drive my mother’s car, becuse I didn’t have one. Once, I left a cassette tape in the player after I returned the car. Later, my mother brought the tape up to me in my room and said, “Here’s your tape you left in the player. It melted. I told you not to leave tapes in the car. This is what happens. You ruin your things.”
It was “Loveless” by My Bloddy Valentine. I said, “Mom, WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ME!” and then crouched in the corner to write some poetry about it.
She sighed and made scrambled eggs for dinner.
YOU MELTED “LOVELESS”? This is 100% why we can’t have nice things.
No. The tape was fine.
Mans, I love that story. Before I even saw your reply, I was like, SHOEGAZE, MANS’ MOM! SHOEGAZE! IT’S SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE THAT! JEEEZ!
“Hey, I don’t get no esteem over here.” -Ronny Dangerfield
“No regard at all!”
I love his film “Return to College.”
I wonder how much he had to pay those black guys to be in the video and to not beat the crap out of him.
Black people can have terrible taste too, man. Stupid doesn’t discriminate.
Every upvote that has ever, currently does, or will EVER exist.
Seriously.
Beautiful reply.
I wasn’t thinking about individual taste, I was only thinking about cred.
The notion that black people can’t have horrible taste is an invidious stereotype.
Invidious?
“I can read books”
-You
I totally can, too.
…Teach me?
Marry and/or babysit me!
(This is supposed to be in reply to Lysdexia but there’s no reply button?)
I didn’t want marry or babysit you anyway, mr bad feeling.
actually, THEY forced HIM to make this song AND the music video at gunpoint.
That dude wants to be cool, like, really bad.
This makes me feel so fucking old.
No point in fighting it now:
I love the subtotal.
Multiplication is hilarious!
It’s my favorite math of all the maths.
And I bet teenagers these days like geometry or some shit. Stupid no-taste-having kids.
@scotchka You know about factorials, right?
Factorials are just a series of multiplications that got too big for their britches. Exclamation marked poseurs.
Factorals are for bitches.
On the other hand, it also makes me feel like a fucking genius with a pleasant, non-autotuned voice who has made excellent life choices regarding finger tattoos and head piercings, so I think all things considered, I’m ok with feeling old. Pass me a bag of them Werthers, sonny!
That One, I just want you to know this is use of the Amazon shopping cart probably one of my favorite running jokes here, and for sure the joke you use that I love the most.
This is how old I feel after that video:
I “like” the Snoop Dogg wannabe at 00:55.
That guy is Snopp Doog. He is friends with Ronny Dangerfield.
Ugh. I just saw a video this morning for a band called “The Legit” on LATFH.com. I wonder if this kid is opening up for them, who in turn is opening up for the Antichrist.
THE LEGIT WILL MAKE YOU LACTATE! LACTATE!
Sorry, I really hate those guys. Their DJ is wearing a shirt from my favorite band in the video, and it made me really really sad.
I’m not saying every white rapper needs to live up to “Eminem” standards (should that be a standard?), but remember when the Beastie Boys did this almost 30 years ago and they were really good at it? Now we have this? I feel so old, yet so smart.
Em can be a standard of comercially viable white rappers.
I think the thing that was fun about the Beastie Boys is that
1. “Fight For Your Right” was a joke, making fun of that type of song
2. They weren’t in your face about being lame and the other songs they’ve done prove that they’ve got skills.
3. They weren’t shitty.
Jez!
I’m a teenager. I like videogum, punk rock/indie/rap, and I like kittens. Apparently, I like bad stuff.
You apparently like Brand New so you are in Advanced Placement Teenager class.
2 out of 3 ain’t bad.*
*quote from Grandpa’s favorite song. Or is it the song title itself? Memory!
I thought the whole gauging/facial piercing/tattoo overdose thing was slowing down, I guess I was just growing up.
Gabe just needs to post something about Mickey Avalon. Between that, this, and Russell Brand, today’s posts will create a trifecta of douche.
But I love Mickey Avalon! I would never want to touch him though. He’s like a shambling, sweaty, electro-zombie
Back in my day the musicians I liked would have threatened to shoot this lil’ bitch.
He’s too perfect to be our boyfriend, that’s your husband guys
The nostalgic part of me that thinks I am still 18 just shriveled up and jumped out of a window.
“I heard a song by T Mills
on August 11 right here
on the Videogum
But unfortunately
I lost my lunch”
-from the upcoming reboot of “Hair”
Step up 2 Tha Herrrr.
good lord, somebody get me my Sensodyne and non slip bath mat cause this old man needs to clean himself after that shit.
Gabe’s not too fond of this William Joel character either.
Gabe knows that a heart attackackackackackack is not something to take lightly
Unfortunately, Only the Good Die Young.
Isn’t this just Fred?
I think he and I have different definitions of what a “stupid boy” is.
He doth protest too much methinks.
Looks like somebody has turned the profits from their uncle’s marijuana dispensary into a rap video.
this made me sterile.
i’m actually pretty pleased about that.
Is this the brother Ben Kweller won’t talk about?
Is this the brother Ben Kweller won’t talk about?
I only clicked Submit once, I’m really not sure why it double posted…
It’s a weird Radish-related glitch in the Videogum code.
hmmm, is that some sort of fox pelt at the end?
That was really cool of Gabe’s mom to let T Mills video tape their little music video in her bathroom in front of the frosted shower doors.
Gabe’s mom is still alive? I don’t understand how that’s possible unless…
#jokesaboutgabebeingold
Absolutely awful.
Exactly. Is there really anything else that needs to be said ?
he takes a stap at his own Tik Tok
http://limelinx.com/files/377a6a79b6c074dcb03431ab75625a0f
very pretty
as a person with many tattoos, the question that first popped into my head was “who is signing the parental permission slips for this boy to get so many body modifications?” i remember trying to get my nose pierced at the tender age of sixteen and being told that i had to come back with my mama. of course she didn’t understand my desperate need to rebel against the system instilled by you old farts that refuse to hire me now because of my numerous body modifications and refused to sign such paperwork, but this kid looks like a zygote.
maybe i am just TOO DAMN OLD (i.e. 22) and i don’t understand how the rules work anymore, but doesn’t the law require parental consent for twelve year olds to get holes the size of softballs in their faces? also, why?
“I’m not going to change.” – Guy who’s modified his body beyond all recognition
seriously! just think of how things will sag and mesh together when he gets older.
my first tattoo was at the age of 18, and it already looks wonky. (not that it wasn’t wonky to begin with. when i got the aforementioned tattoo, the “artist” was about halfway through when he exclaimed “OHHH FFFUUUUCCCKKK.” which falls only slightly behind this asshole “singing” whatever this “song” is on my list of things i wish i never heard in my life.)
Your tattoo artist saying “Oh Fuck” halfway through working on you has to be a bad feeling.
“James Dean?!?!? Oh, I thought you said Paula Deen. My bad.”
it was a bad feeling, but at least it brought my mama the long awaited vindication she always finds entertaining. “well mija, you’re the one who wanted to mutilate your body. it’s not my fault that it’s fuck ugly, JAJAJAJAJAJAJA.”
but at least i had the good sense to put my “ink” where i can cover it with a shirt so one day i might find a real job and become a functioning member of society.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
“we promise not to listen to this”
- teenagers, who lie. all the time. straight faced, to adults who have their best interest at heart.
arg!!!
NEMESIS ENFORCER!!!!!!!!!!
Whats with the downvotes? This prince-inspired rage is hilarious!
[IMG]http://i38.tinypic.com/27ypf69.jpg[/IMG]
?
headdown
Fixed!
my heroes. im a bad interneter.
“No.”- Someone who is currently a teenager.
I guess the conservatives are right — Rachel Maddow sux.
also i like to picture Kadeem Hardison pissed as hell somewhere…
like this, where this is some kid who once listened to Stupid Boy
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
This has nothing to do with terrible music, but Gabe, if you’re around, you or some other higher-up might want to do something about the hostage situation in the chat room.
I just got banned. Is that what you mean?
It done been hacked!
Yeah, happened to me, too. I think something’s up.
You think T Mills is bad…You should really check out Blood on the Dance Floor and their hit song “Sexting!”
cannot wait for 2012.
Seriously, this picture makes my brain hurt.
Shut it down. All of it.
FOREVER
Those guys are jerks.
i just back-traced this comment and its official: U DUN GOOFED!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I listened to some of this. They actually sound even dumber than they look.
(L) Christopher Mintz Plasse, in “Kick-Ass.”
Seeing those flesh tunnels made my ears hurt… congratulations T Mills, your video gave me ear ache even though I watched it on mute.
Hey, T Mills? See this corny motherfucker?
See that old dude? He subsided off of amphetamines and peanut butter, and once wandered (unannounced, mind you) into the White House with a FUCKING GUN, and presented it to the President:
So put the Malibu back in your parent’s pantry, you unoriginal cocksucker and calm the fuck down. You’ll be much cooler.
which makes me think of my primary problem with music like this; it’s manufactured rebellion, and the youth of today buys into it as if it were crack or something. check out this fools website: http://www.myspace.com/tmills, it makes my brain hurt. don’t the youth of today care about quality? doesn’t anyone appreciate actual talent anymore? not that i remember the actual times when musicians were living off of amphetamines and whatnot, but it seems as though it should be easy to tell the difference between people who actually play by their own rules and break new ground and assholes like this. i bet his parents are getting wealthy off of this and that’s why they allowed him to destroy his body in the first place.
Corporate oversaturation has reduced or marginalized the arts so heavily that all kids today can get a pass from my curmudgeon-ing because they have only eaten what they were fed in a world that is built to make them stupid trolls who like garbage like it was their life essence.
well fuck.
yes yes yes. preach.
maybe the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse was right all along. In fact, I just poured myself a stiff drink and hit play on “It’s Prophesied (End Times Anthem).” I’m listening to it and I’m not fighting it anymore. I’m letting it wash over me with a defeated gaze on my face. I’m laughing hysterically except I might be crying. I’m not sure anymore.
Yes, manufactured and ridiculous with no self-awareness. My favorite part is that the girls who have been paid to look like they love him could all be cheerleaders in small Iowa towns. Wouldn’t such a big rebel like T Mills be into rebel chicks with equally destroyed bodies, wicked facial tattoos, maybe scarification, all kinds of pierced cheeks or eyeballs or I don’t know, stylin’ compound fractures? But no. Those girls didn’t do well in the focus group. Rock on, kids.
This is why it’s better to have been an absolute dork as a teenager. Sure, you’re way more embarrassed, all the time, then, but by the time you grow up, you aren’t left with any physical traces of the horror.
(Also, when you meet other adult friends who were also dorks, it just becomes awesome…like having a bunch of people over for a Star Trek fest…)
I had no idea I was a dork unitl my tawdry tales of playing Risk until 2:am (on a school night!!!) failed to properly impress my college friends.
Well, your college friends clearly didn’t know what they should be impressed by. I never stayed out till 2 playing Risk, but I for sure I did spend time in college sitting quietly while friends told tales of parties, drinking, whatnot from high school, thinking of nights watching geeky movies, or for god’s sake reading, or just wandering Boston getting in no trouble whatsoever, cause why not?
I played Risk until 2 a.m. on a school night WHILST AT COLLEGE! Of course, I was drunk at the time.
I played Risk until 2am like 6 months ago, and I’m a full-grown adult. It was probably on a weekend, though, because I’m old and can’t function right at work without enough sleep.
Whatevuh, Risk is awesome! (And I’m in college!)
I’m always trying to get my “learn on” (caught that little gem at the 37 sec mark), maybe you and I aren’t so different T Mills.
The closing track is so ambitiously titled: “2get 2low: The Unstoppable Flow”
Is it true he’s dating Jackie Evancho?
Does this guy know how to party or what?
What disappoints me the most about “music” that young people today listen to is how much it celebrates the status quo. Rebellion is always presented as achievable through consumption and materialism. Mass produced non-conformity will always equal conformity.
There probably should have been a fart joke in there somewhere. Now I just sound bitter.
“we understand you hate the capitalist system you’re stuck in, but here, buy these nikes. you will feel so much better…”
I see you basically said the same thing in another response. Also, nice avatar, because boobs.
i love boobs. and not in a creepy steve winwood type way either, i just think women look better with boobs.
“Well, buy these Converse All-Stars. They’re made by Nike.”
Bitter or just observant? The only thing is that there isn’t really a way out of it. Non-conformity and rebellion are factored into the structure, it’s expected and accepted. Sure people complain or fight against it, but in reality, everyone knows that it is going to happen and is going to either fade, or be brought into the larger, acceptable system.
Yeah, but it was so much cooler when it was Dean or Brando or the Ramones than this fucking jerk.
Yes. Very much so.
Also this: http://www.theawl.com/2010/08/footnotes-of-mad-men-the-youth-machine-and-godzilla-handjobs
That’s true to an extent, but technology and the overall speed at which society now moves, has turned all forms of rebellion into commercially viable products. Time was, a “scene” would form and it would take the mainstream public and advertisers a while before they caught on. Now, these companies track these scenes, sponsor them and exploit them before they have a chance to develop a counter-cultural stance. The absolute end of youth culture occurs when non-conformist tendencies are subverted and manufactured, rather than develop organically.
Yep, I didn’t feel like getting too much into it, because I seem to gather downvotes quickly whenever I write something serious…
Yeah, the speed really is the terrifying aspect of it. It actually seems to have reached the point where the scenes aren’t even tracked, but are birthed by money making schemes.
There is a specific essay/author who works really, really well on this type of stuff, but I’m blanking.
America is a country that is built upon the concept of rebellion and revolt, or at least the self-aggrandizing myth of revolution. Any rebellion, no matter how true and honest, is eventually swallowed up by the status quo because “rebellion” is what “America” is.
In the 19th C. religious groups like the Shakers sought to be apart from the world, now we make a fetish of them as quaint examples of “simple American life.” Punk bands sought to break out of the monotony of late 20th C. American overly-commercial life, only to find themselves shilling back-to-school savings. It is built into the system.
Sources Used: My wife.
Well put, Mans. I feel a thesis topic brewing here. “Stooges and Shakers: The commercialization of rebellion in American society by The Monsters”.
Also, Quakers?
Mans, will your wife go on a date with me?
I work in advertising (just like Don Draper) and one of the most interesting things I ever saw was a marketing study that broke teenage culture into 5 groups. As I recall:
1. The cutting edge kids, into stuff so out there that it will never catch on with larger groups.
2. The advance kids, who pick up on stuff that no one else (except Group 1) knows about yet, and promote it actively among themselves 6-18 months before it is “cool.”
3. The in-crowd, who ridicule Group 2 for being into XYZ but then 6-18 months later are into XYZ themselves (when Group 2 is tired of it and moving on).
4. The followers, who long to be as cool as Group 3. They come upon XYZ another 6-12 months later, and don’t always distinguish between the brand-name version and the Target knockoff of it, etc.
5. The left out kids. These kids never acquire awareness of any of the trends.
Groups 5 and 1 are the smallest groups, and because of their psychology there is no point ever in marketing to either of them. Groups 3 and 4 are huge.
So, the point of marketing to teens is ideally to hook Group 2 so that they will do the selling for you, especially if you have a high-end item that needs peer recommendation. If your product has zero ironic or hip qualities (like diet Coke), you can pretend that it does, but you better go straight to Group 3 with your strategy.
This has been today’s lesson in the destruction of all that is holy. You’re welcome.
I know what you’re saying but corporate interests using stuff like self awareness and irony and subversion for their own purposes hasn’t actually been going on forever. That stuff used to actually be useful.
This whole “Fraggle Glam” movement needs to be stopped. These kids look like transgendered muppets.
But calling it Fraggle Glam makes me want to love it. How could two of the Greatest Things Ever ™ combine so horribly??
I made it through the end of the song, but was unable to actually look at the video past 00:40 seconds. Does that count? Have I been jumped into the gang?
In what world does boy rhyme with floor and more? Am I the only one who kept expecting him to call himself a stupid whore?
Ugh, being a teenager is the worst.
Oh no, that is SO many friends.
Fortunately, I can delete them.
Unfortunately, I cannot delete Justin Bieber.
Where can i find this song on compact disk? Is this on the new Twilight: Eclipse soundtrack?
Oh, you are in a for a mindblow. The Eclipse soundtrack is frickin solid: Metric, Fanfarlo, The Black Keys, The Dead Weather, Beck and Bat for Lashes, Unkle, Band of Horses, Cee Lo.
is that the entire pitchfork fest lineup? ha
I thought this was a deleted subplot from Superbad where McLovin bumbles his way into shit popstar stardom.
I’m a teenager, I know the kids who like this. They are the worst.
“Wow, what a deep and meaningful song this is!”
-No one.
i too long for the days when real artists like lonnie donegan, jimmy durante, pattie page, bryan hyland, and their ilk were what the kids went crazy for.
i never realized how much douche bags over-enunciate when they lip sync. kesha and t mills – guilty as charged. you should never ever see that much tongue when someone is “singing”
Wow… this is actually therapeutic for my paralyzing anxiety about growing OLD and being comfortable with responsibility and the life I ended up with…not the one I wanted.
I liked music so much better when my mind was on my money and my money was on my mind.
My favorite You Tube comments
SkyValley4: “I hope he OD’s one day”
xhileno: “fuck, I will never get to take back that i know this person exists”
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
NUH NUH NUH NUH meeeet thuh meet thuh FUNKMEYERS
http://vimeo.com/2434635
I only made it 33 seconds into the video, but that 33 seconds were the worst 33 seconds of my life and ruined my birthday.
Is today your birthday, or did it just preemptively ruin all your future birthdays?
(if the former, then HAPPY BIRTHDAY!)
“I was raised right.” – T. Mills
fear and loathing in a third tier liberal arts college
Did anyone else think from the thumbnail that this guy was a lesbian mosh warrior and not a guy?
I thought that for the first 15 seconds at least.
Absolutely.
He’s on tour with Bizzy Bone and Andre Nickatina???
This isn’t going to go well.
dwayne wayne is gonna be PISSED when he finds out his glasses are missing.
Oh yes he did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ERm3EWreVI
That video gave me a reverse erection
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
the good news is that this all seems to prove a theory I have been struggling with: evil CAN produce good! because this evil (that video, OMG) produced this comment thread, which will be really useful for my LOLk and I wish I could upvote all of it. no one properly skewers a thoroughly atrocious artifact like the videogum commenting community. <3
I made it to 38 seconds! Is that what teenagers look like today? I thought only the guy from Die Antwoord looked this way. Kids today are ugly.
fuck that shit. one of the members of that blood on the dancefloor abortion come from a similar circle of friends. knew him before he hooked up with the dude with all the pedo drama. I can attest that this douche and t mills have BEEN into this fucking terrible electro/crunk/pop-puke since at least 2006. Shit has been BIG in Florida. I am SO GLAD this god-awful scene is finally being exposed to a much wider audience so it can quickly die and I can stop encountering this bullshit at every mall/club in FL.
Wait… in one of the short cut scenes is he peeing while there are girls gettin it on in the shower?
Is this what high school has become? Where is the status quo? Are those jocks and tan sluts dancing next to emo girls and guys with plugs in their ears? UGH AS IF!
I wish I knew how to attach a picture of Cher saying that.
Wait. I’m confused. I think this song fried all of my brain cells. Is that how they do it? They start off with moderately shitty songs that fry some cells and increase it from there til you reach the point where this song makes you start bobbing your head in rhythm, and going “this guyz the shitz yo!!” ?
I certainly do not consider myself a connoisseur of media, but seriously? He’s trying to say that he’s smart because he does drugs and has random sluts blow him. I will give him credit for one thing, he didn’t hold back, he went for the full trifecta- bad lyrics, bad music, bad video. Good job man.
Facepalm…..
I dont know if anyone’s said this yet but 10 gauge plugs are actually really small. This is because gauges are measured in the same way electric cabling is measured in that the larger a gauge is numbered, the smaller it is. For reference purposes, 10 gauge plugs or wires would have a 5mm diameter whereas a 0 gauge actually has a 52mm diameter! I only say this because I just installed a new stereo in my car and had to get some big fat (small numbered) cables for the ultracapacitor. Just kidding. I don’t have a car.
When did McLovin’ get all those tattoos?
I’m happy to say that when I was a teenager I listened to bands that actually know how to play instruments and don’t rely on auto-tune.