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Date: Unknown
Time: Unknown
Location: FOX News
Description: News anchor unknowingly uses TWSS to describe accident involving 18-wheel truck filled with fresh produce.
Source: FAIL Blog
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Oh great. Now I’m going to have to explain salad tossing to my mother. Wasn’t telling her about tea bagging enough, Fox News?
Sit her down with a copy of Martin Lawrence’s “You So Crazy.” It will save you the conversation and give a reason for being to Martin Lawrence’s “You So Crazy.”
I could take care of it if you want. I have a history of having to explain sex acts to people I really don’t want to be explaining sex acts to.
A history, or a penchant?
History. It’s always on accident and not by choice. Sometimes it starts because I tell a story of having stumbled into being forced to explain one, and someone listening says they don’t know it either. Then I explain again and the cycle continues.
Vicious, indeed.
ptsmith: Dang it’s hot, carl.
Carl: What’s a Hot Carl?
ptsmith: Here we go again.
me: lolz
Ptsmith, that sounds like a horror movie. Like “The Ring,” if the ring were an obscure sex act you had to explain to everyone.
Surprisingly, something as simple as the shocker has been the real culprit. It started with me walking through my common room in college, and out of the corner of my, thinking that I saw someone toss up the gesture. I reacted with shock and surprise for it’s randomness, and because the room was filled with international students, some of them stereotypically innocent. They caught onto my surprise even as I tried to cover it, realizing I was mistaken. They forced me to explain. Some of them were very upset. I told this story later in the day…and two people didn’t know it.
This story also came up someone, the first time I stayed over a lady-friend’s place. I had to explain the shocker then too. I think I’ve mentioned this here before, but the next time I saw her, I ended up having to explain the Donkey Punch. Then try to explain that I’m not a pervert.
Check urban dictionary? Like…every time you say something that sounds like it *could* be a sex act you should get your fact checkers on it?
“Naomi Campell testified about reciving a pouch of dirty rocks today….” – News Anchor
“Let me look that up before we go live” -Fact Checker
Not a bad idea, for anyone. For one thing, it will save you the embarrassment of accidentally googling furry porn at work.
Um. Not that I have had personal experience with that. Oh heavens no.
…but perhaps a bit untenable, considering that we’re about 1,000 phrases from everything that’s ever been said by anyone having a sinister or sexy urban definition. Imagine my horror the other day when I innocently tried to order an Alabama Hot Pocket for lunch at the local diner. Is nothing sacred?
Oh man, they have hot pockets at your diner? LUCKY!
Yeah, ever since that time I posted on facebook, “Will I dare to eat a peach?” and got the most embarrassing string of comments ever, I pretty much check for double entendres before putting anything in writing.
You don’t even want to know what wearing your “trousers rolled” means.
And the last time I brought up singing mermaids, I got slapped.
You know I just looked that up.
Awww, you guys sure know how to make a teacherman feel good.
Whatever you do, don’t do a Google image search for
S’io credesse che mia riposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’ i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.
Jokes on you! Italian Lit major over here. I know that you would get this:
something something Arizona something something Illegal Immigrants something something Head
“40,000 pounds of lettuce isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? 4,000,000 pounds of lettuce.” – Justin Timberlake
This isn’t as bad as that Cleveland ABC affiliate’s story on a steamroller accident.
Or an Animal Channel report I saw on someone who assaulted a donkey.
truly a shocking story.
What about the unclean Mexican gentleman that played the unshiny brass musical instrument?
Or the gentleman who introduced a 1903 Shaw play to a garden tool.
Local Atlanta weatherman Chesley McNeil recently had a graphic that warned viewers of a “hot lunch today.” Seriously.
This is not bad. Relax everyone, he was obviously referring to the literal (again with the literal?) meaning of “tossing salad” (you know when you have real, actual salad, and you use the salad tongs to toss it around), so what’s the big deal?
If for some he said to another anchor: “you’ll be tossing that salad later, won’t you?” – That might be bad. But this, come on.
I’m trying to find the TWSS in this response, as I feel like there must be something subtle thing I’m missing. Is it “come on?”
According to Urban Dictionary, “salad tongs” is now slang for “pneumatic fisting machine.” DUH.
He was literally referring to a salad.
Wasnt this on the daily show as the clip of the day thing?
I don’t know, I couldn’t get past that silly goatee
The other option, of course, is that the writers knew EXACTLY what a “tossed salad” was, and wanted to see if the anchor would react. I feel pretty certain if that were my job, the other writers and I would have competitions to get as many sexual innuendos as humanly possible onto the air.
I worked in newspapers for many years, and whenever we wrote headlines or captions we always tried to do stuff like this. It was great, and even more fun when we got caught. Editor: “So you’re telling me no one at this newsdesk knew that ‘tripping balls’ is slang for being on drugs?” Us: “No. It is?” Editor: “That’s what my son told me.” Us: “Wow, we never knew your son was a degenerate junkie.”
Hon. Sen. Tankerbell: your name/photo combo is blowing my mind.
(via)
Glad there was a … wait for it…. “happy ending” ??? ahhhh? Here eat Doritos – you know who
We used to do this at the newsradio station I worked for.
You used to eat doritos and give yourself happy endings at the radio? I hope you were fired.
Your last name’s Garelli?
That’s you down in front, innit, Godsauce?
Damnit, I should have gone with a cast photo.
“Always. Go. With. A. Cast. Photo.”- someone, probably
“ICEBERG LETTUCE, RIGHT AHEAD!” –The Titanic
“The salad is tossing and there aren’t enough butts!” – Kate Winslet, who is pretty and who keeps getting prettier the older she gets in spite of my messed up tastes.