So, when the final season of Lost is released on DVD at the end of this month, it will include an 11-minute bonus feature that explores life on the island when Hurley became the new Jacob, and will supposedly answer some of the fans’ burning questions about the roughly 17,000 loose ends left unresolved by the series finale. Sure. Although, if people were disappointed with the two-and-a-half-hour season finale, at the end of a 20 hour season (or whatever, math is for nerds) which was hyped as being the definitive resolution to a show so full of hairbrained mystery that it was never going to be resolved in a satisfactory manner in the first place, I don’t really know what people are hoping to get out of a sloppily cobbled together 11-minute DVD special feature about Hurley. Unless the DVD has managed to fracture the space-time continuum so that 11 minutes actually means 1977 years, this is obviously going to fall very, very short, like that time that airplane fell. Onto Boone’s face. And today, the first minute of the 11 has been released, and SPOILER ALERT WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO DISAPPOINTMENT ISLAND.
Incidentally, the one loose end that Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have always promised to resolve in the DVD special feature was the wonderful and fascinating mystery of the Dharma Food Drops (because that was definitely the dramatic and paranormal crux of the whole show, for sure, absolutely, and a very interesting thing that people still care very much about), and that is the one mystery that is resolved in this one minute clip, leaving the last 10 minutes for Hurley to make confused faces and hammy Star Wars references, and for Ben to adjust his glasses on his nose and ask why no one told him about something.
Neat. (Not neat.) This is the worst. It’s like a girl breaking up with you, and then drunkenly calling you in the middle of the night and EXPLAINING HOW THE DHARMA FOOD DROPS WORKED. Stay down, Lost. Don’t get up! Ref, call it. (Via iO9.)
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I heard the actual twist at the end of LOST is that everything that happened was in Terri Shiavo’s comatose dream.
I thought it ended with Bob Newhart waking up and realizing it was all a dream?
I thought the twist ending was that the producers blatantly pandered to extremist fans by giving them unecessary extras?
Wait, I’m confused about the movie… so the cops knew internal affairs were setting them up?
I thought it was that “she” was a “he.”
I thought the PSYCHE twist was that LOST was ever a good show to begin with. Move over, Kevin Spacey in Usual Suspects, turns out Gabe was just making this shit up about LOST ever being a terrific show in the first place. Chaz Palminterri’s gonna need a bigger bulletin board.
I heard that Hurley actually passes the job to Sawyer to be the new Jacob. Sawyer is left on the island alone. He is happy to be away from everyone, to have the joy of listening to his Stooges record collection for the rest of his life. Yet as he goes to sit down to listen to Search and Destroy, he accidentally knocks over the cd player, breaking it beyond repair. Sawyer looks to the sky, yelling, “That’s not fair. That’s not fair at all. There was time now. There was all the time I needed…! It’s not fair!”
I’ve always considered this to be the most satisfactory ending.
It was actually all inside an austistic kid’s snowglobe.

Who is down-voting Notsewfast? The baby is in the commenter hall of fame! Maybe it’s not his best work, but it doesn’t merit downvotes.
No St. Eslewhere fans around here, I guess I’ll just turn on some Belinda Carlisle and run away in my Air Jordans.
This post reminded me of Dharma and Greg. Is that in syndication anymore?
Actually I thought…… OMG that tops still spinning!!!
Ben Linus, the man who beat a man in the face with a ninja stick, machine-gunned another guy, shot John Locke, strangled John Locke, played badass mind-games with Sawyer, stole a horse and rode it off into the sunset, repeatedly stabbed Keamy in the motherfucking throat, has been reduced to a useless corporate gopher? OBJECTION.
This is like when they shot an entire season of That 70′s Show without Topher Grace and it was the worst because duh he was the show
Is anyone else kinda hoping Michael Emerson (Ben) replaces Steve Carell on the Office?
Great, now I am.
Me too.
And how about that pitch for Ben/Locke “hitmen in suburbia” series?
They’re closing the DHARMA Food Drop factory? But why?! I thought Hugo loved that DHARMA Ranch Composite stuff!
This clip is quite lame and bad, but to be expected after the last season and especially the finale.
And the entire series. Except for the Constant episode, and that one episode about the 16th century slave ship with the guy who doesnt age. Those are the only two good episodes.
God that Constant episode was so efffin good.
Agreed. After the Constant I was like “I finally get why people like this show now. I’m a hypocrite for having not liked it till now because now I like it and will start watching it regularly and reading the blogs.” And then… nope it went back to suckin’. Fuck that noise, brohams.
Here are some tv shows that really are terrific:
The Wire
Deadwood
The BBC version of The Office
Arrested Development
Breaking Bad
Mad Men
The Soup
The Daily Show
Notice what is not on this list? LOST. That show does not belong on this list. Take care, friends.
But what of Unsolved Mysteries? What!?!?!?
You kept reading the blogs though, didn’t you? Or did you just comment on them without reading? Classic “Steve Winwood”, classic.
Furthermore, what of Generation Kill, Battlestar Galactica (at least the first 2 seasons), Buffy, Firefly, and Mystery Science Theater 3000??
“roastgum”, I have so far only seen a couple episodes of the generation kill series, liked it okay but not enough to rent more. I will reserve judgment on that little number. Thought the first season of the battlestar galactic-cat series was okay, like a really long version of Das Boot but set in space. It was okay but that series finale ending – woof! It was all angels, Jesus did it. PSYCHE. No thanks on that tv show, guy. Buffy I liked the first two seasons but felt let down by how they handled the transition from season two to three and didnt care for it after that. Firefly has a great cast, I have an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality and yet I would hug and kiss even the bros on that show, not just the pretty girls (especially that mechanic girl who looked like the russian spy who was recently busted). However firefly had weak writing that even that terrific cast couldn’t salvage, so no thanks. Mystery science theater always struck me as kind of lame and boring. I hope I answered all your questions.
While I am not in the business of separating the Winwood chaff from the Winwood grain (It is not a very profitable business), I agree that Lost was bad and most of the shows on your list were good. Without splitting hairs about the others, I think MST3K was great. The Satellite of Love segments (the beginning of each show and the skits) were often lame, but the in-theater sections (the bulk of every episode) have a pretty universal appeal, because bitching about stupid tv/movies is sort of a national pastime? To me, MST3K was one of the most efficient LOL-delivery mechanisms of all time, and belongs with the greats like Arrested Development and Mr. Show.
Look, even this chill motherfucker has moved on
He looks kinda creepy there, he should stick to pilot’s uniforms
Agreed. He looks molestery.
It could be the way his piercing blue eyes seem to be x-raying my clothes…
I hope they finally start explaining things next season…
SPOILERS!!!! they won’t
I called this from the day that they announced that there was going to be a definitive ending. This is going to be the next Dr Who with a different Dr. Who/Jacob every few years. Hopefully the will take some time to think out the secrets more carefully so they don’t fell so tacked on next series.
As long as they finally explain that Dogen’s magic baseball was actually the “Shot Heard Round the World” baseball from Don Delillo’s Underworld, I’ll be good.
/awkward literary reference from the one book I read this year
Where was Richard Alpert when Thomson hit the homer? DUN DUN DUUUUUN
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Now?
Jay Edgar Hoover is real? Well you’ve just shattered my universe!
It really makes me happy when sports references get downvoted, and makes me want to make more, because I just imagine some Monster out there spewing with rage, snacks bursting from his mouth, “Jockkkk be gone!!”
pt: Just make sure you have on your special mask and you will be okay.
Mans,
I’m always wearing it, don’t worry. I first started because of an editing-related face injury, and I noticed I edited better with it on. I even tried taking it off when I was fully healed, but I just didn’t get the commas in, dish out those semicolons, or lock up that spelling as well as I did with the mask on, so I went back to it. Sure, some of my coworkers tease me, but who puts up the big numbers?
Fascinating.
Making sports reference does not make you this guy:

it makes you this guy
You don’t hear us movie & TV nerds calling ourselves Hollywood insiders because we make Arrested Development references.Comprehension issues, you has them? I never called myself Tom Brady, I played with the image of the type of nerd who hates people who like sports, even if that person who likes sports is also a huge dork of most every stripe. Besides, if I were imagining myself as actually impressive and talented, my relationship with sports wouldn’t make me Tom Brady, but more like this:
Oy, just because I can imagine the response. I know you didn’t say I called myself Tom Brady, you were saying I called myself a jock, but yeah, my point still holds, I never called myself that, I made up the image of a silly charicature, who through anger, disappointment, and disillusionment, called me a jock.
Sorry, I completely understand. I made up the image of a silly charicature, who through anger, disappointment, and disillusionment called himself a jock and posted repeatedly in the same post. My mistake.
Oh, rejected puppet, you are so, so one of the reasons I love bringing up sports around here. Just delightful. I was particuarly a fan of your Steve Winwood quality comment of “fascinating” and of your implication that there is no overlap between movie and TV dorks with sports dorks.
Guys, say something funny and make up or take it outside.
chris trash, I know a girl who cries every single time she tells me the story of that turtle and hippo becoming friendly after the tsunami that you have in the picture there.
I like sports and I don’t care who knows
But DeLillo’s version was so good!
Via: https://twitter.com/nedroid/status/14799359860
Man, do I ever love Nedroid. Beartato needs his own theme park.
If it weren’t for #lostcomics i woudn’t have been able to go through th final season. Bonus points also go to lostincomics.com.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitpic/photos/full/106240887.gif?AWSAccessKeyId=0ZRYP5X5F6FSMBCCSE82&Expires=1281049344&Signature=6ps1OxgCjSGm6kIaJ7nVdh3KtZk%3D
Yay!
BOO!
I actually like this because Ben was one out of the five things I liked that season.
I kind of just pretend that the island killed season 6.
Gabe is funny.
I can’t believe no one has said this yet, but,
FAKE and GAY.
everything i know about this show can be found in gabe’s finale recap and i’m totally satisfied. satiated, even. thanks lost.
Those extra 11 minutes better translate into 6 more dream years of making up my WASTED TIME. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!
LOST RULED! Who’s coming with me?
Gabe,

Man, is Videgum being written by Grumplestiltskin today?
No way, he is totes being Ontheballskins today. So to speak. It was all funny because it’s true.
That was the JJ Abrams Writers Lab and they were loading boxes of bullshit plots into rockets to blow onto the face of America.
Also, I think it’s great how Charles Widmore spent years and years trying to find the Island, yet all he had to do was show up at the Bullshit Plot Packing Factory and read some teletext about where the rocket was going, if he had really wanted to find it. Not that hard.
Oh jeez. This is making me think about Desmond’s imperviousness to radiation, and what he was on the island to do, and then I started thinking about him running over Locke in the wheelchair, and I just realized it is very, very embarrassing to remember this stuff.
I love Lost.
See, this is why they should’ve gone with my spinoff idea instead: a sitcom called Two Dudes, A Dog And An Island.
I will be the first to admit:
I FUCKING LOVE LOST (caps to emphasize how much I love it)
I even love the bad episodes. I appreciate the intentional camp and explicit apology in Expose. I even was interested in Jack’s tattoos and Bai Ling’s superior acting skills in Stranger in a Strange Land. Fuck it all to hell, I enjoyed every second of it (the variance of enjoyment obviously fluctuated episode by episode). It hurts me when I see people (i.e. my fellow gummers) speak so poorly of something I cherish (aren’t we all supposed to like the same thing you guys?). But then I realized, I never quite understood Trekkies until I watched Lost. I always saw Trekkies and thought from afar, “God. What the fuck?”. Now I see Steve Winwood watch me from afar, reading a biography of Hendric Casimir while sitting in a skinner box waiting for my unconscious to be unlocked through Hawking’s conception of spacetime so I can go back to my 1980s self and tell myself, “Don’t listen to Steve Winwood. LOST is so good”.
I don’t think anyone can encapsulate into words why this show meant so much to so many people. I have never heard a Trek or Wars fan explain it in a sufficient manner as well. It’s always, “JUST BECAUSE…IT’S SO GREAT”. And I think that’s what Darlton wanted to prey upon. Lastly, I have a gripe (just one) with the language used in criticism. I’m not sure if saying that the show was a failure because of its lack of answers is entirely fair, since, for the most part, the die hards can either explicitly state the answer (how it was answered, when it was given, and in what episode/season it was in) for most of the supposed ‘unanswered’ questions (based on that one college humor video) or, at the very least, come up with a sound proof theory based on ostensible empirical data. The one gripe I did have with the answer column is not going back to Walt’s story, I just wanted more (I hear we do get more? I didn’t watch it. I’m waiting for the Bluray. I’m that much of a chaunce). So in summary, it’s not so much we didn’t get answers, but some didn’t LIKE the answers (either the content of the answer or how it was explained).
So, yeah.
The whole 11 minutes of this much needed* closure video leaked today on the file-sharing sites, so i’m sure the less scrupulous videogummers will be able to save some money and watch it for free. It even has some really cheap and lame meta-commentary about people wanting answers, etc. I’d rather have watched something done with that Dr. Pierre Chang muppet.
*not really