Photos
The TCAs are this week, whatever those are, and today NBC announced that 30 Rock would be doing a live episode this season, which is neat enough, I guess. At the very least it will be something to watch, you know what I mean? We are in the hot depths of the summer doldrums now. Don’t get me wrong, summer is great. One of the best. Easily Top 4 Seasons of All Time. But in terms of day-to-day Internet-related business-to-discuss, summer is the pits. THE PITS! The fact that my ears perk up when there is even 30 Rock NEWS much less an actual 30 Rock EPISODE suggests that this is a moment of DESPAIR. If you think about it, a slow Internet summer is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in the history of the entire world. Oh well. At least Comic-Con is over.
After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated Comment, the winner of this week’s Cast of Jersey Shore at the New York Stock Exchange Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice:
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
Apartment Tiger | Jul 27th | Score:105 |
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Symbols of America’s cultural decline at the epicenter of America’s economic decline. |
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| Posted in: The Videogum “Why Don’t YOU Caption It?” Contest: Jersey Shore Cast At The New York Stock Exchange | |||
| #4 |  |
whoa! | Jul 27th | Score:105 |
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The 563rd, 564th, 565th, 566th, 567th, 568th, 569th and 570th most douchey people in the room. |
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| Posted in: The Videogum “Why Don’t YOU Caption It?” Contest: Jersey Shore Cast At The New York Stock Exchange | |||
| #3 |  |
Dinger | Jul 28th | Score:112 |
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“I’m getting too old for this ship!” |
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| Posted in: Titanic II Trailer And IMDB Memorable Quotes | |||
| #2 | Chris Trash | Jul 29th | Score:117 | |
| Posted in: The Return Of Sad Keanu, Now With Protective Helmet | |||
| #1 |  |
khrushchev | Jul 25th | Score:130 |
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Whatever, Gabe, you still shouldn’t have stabbed him. |
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| Posted in: Comic-Con 2010: An Exercise In Total Failure | |||
[Ed. note: Oh man, you guys, how happy is everyone to be home from Comic-Con?! It's like I need a miserable, over-crowded convention full of nerds and publicists just to get over my miserable, over-crowded convention full of nerds and publicists! Have a great weekend, everyone. We really did it this time.]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
 |
laughcamp | Jul 27th | Score:-74 |
| there was a grand opening of a popeyes? | ||
| Posted in: We All Win This Dance Battle | ||
[Ed. note: This is easily the worst comment in Videogum history.]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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Patrick M | Jul 27th | Score:133 |
| Posted in: The Videogum “Why Don’t YOU Caption It?” Contest: Jersey Shore Cast At The New York Stock Exchange | ||
[Ed. note: Congratulations, Patrick M! You earned it.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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Hi There (face here) | Jul 27th | Score:23 | |
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My grandpa went through a lot of the same things as Amanda Bynes. He didn’t LOVE fighting WWII, and decided he was going to retire at the age of 18 (you can’t keep doing something you don’t love). Then he remembered that that was not actually an option and went on to kill Hitler. |
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| Posted in: Amanda Bynes: UNRETIRED! | |||
[Ed. note: Highlighting this comment is quite literally the least that I can do to honor your grandfather's noble and historic service to our country, while also honoring the noble and historic service of actress Amanda Bynes. R.I.P. everyone.]
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“Imma let you finish Gabe, but Spring was one of the best seasons of ALL TIME”
~ Your Grandparents (get with the times, old people!)
When my Bubbie and Zaydie start making Interrupting Kanye jokes, I will know it is time to become a hermit.
It is true there are some angels in this city!
Patrick M’s comment still has me in awe.
Truly it is the greatest comment. I only made my first monster’s ball because it was so awesome that it got removed from the “top 5″ and given its own spot.
That’s kind, but the real thanks should go to Banco Santander’s American Depositary Receipts.
I really don’t understand the comment? Please don’t make fun of me.
“HA Ha! You’re dumb, ‘Napoleon Complex’.” – Steve Winwood, the birth of mankind – 2012
You have to look closely where it says “STD” in the graph. I nearly didn’t read that. You probably didn’t get it because you’re a virgin LOL!!!!!
I’m sixteen.
And a virgin, right? Don’t just give that away. Wait until you are ready. (and use protection)
And, for goodness sakes, stay away from Showbiz Pizza!
MMMOOOOOOOMMMMMMM YOU’RE EMBARRASSING MEEEEEEEEE
SO, the last time I was at the barber (because I got to a barber), she (because my barber is a lady) and I had a frank discussion with a young man of 18 who declared he was waiting until he gets married to have sex (I don’t know what brought this up. He apparently has a girlfriend and they plan to get married after college…so at least 4 more years before sexing.)
We were all, ‘That is a noble goal but sometimes hormones make poor choices” and blah, blah, wear condoms and blah, blah the pill and most importantly HAVE FUN! She had started a conversation about some awkward sex, but the poor boy was just mortified! He said the only sex advice he needed was to wait.
SO, since HE didn’t want to talk sex, she and I had our own conversation: It turns out HER parents had some “utility drawers” that contained condoms. They were adamant that IF their children were to have sex they should do so ONLY with protection and not to worry because “we don’t count condoms in this household.” She had three older brothers and none had a baby out of wedlock…BUT she said in Jr. High she lived in fear that one of her friends would open the drawers and ask “what are these??” just as she had done and then get the honest answer, just as her parents had given her.
When she turned me around in the chair I could see the boy’s bright red ears peeking out from behind a National Geographic.
-The End-
At least Mad Men is back on.
Indeed. Looking forward to that little number.
Maybe next week…
Damn, now I am doing the sad walk because I accidentally downvoted you, downvoted arrested development, when that is something that should never, ever be done.
I just got paid!
My boss is taking Monday off, so we’re getting paid early!
I just got Made!
I just got mad!
(that that pic turned out waaay too big.)
whooo!
It’s Friday! Spend it with someone you love.
It’s a picture of a mama koala kissing a baby koala. So, pretty great. Whatever.
That’s my wife and children,
Honestly!
Is this the animal kisses thread? If so, here we goes:
My heart just exploded.
Can it also be the rare hybrid animal kisses thread? Because Zedonk!
Thanks for the silver guys.
Also, Gabe you don’t have to travel across the country to find awesome, interesting people to hang out with.
“she’s pretty” -Steve Winwood
ME??? I’m pretty? *blush*
Steve’s eyeing up your crotch.
Well, it’s lovely. Everyone says so.
Rad!
C. Trash, you are truly the Michelangelo of photoshop.
I think angizzle deserves an honorable mention for the sheer volume (and quality) of work in the Sad Keanu post
here goes…
Oh, wow. It’s an honor to even be mentioned.
Thanks for making me feel like my time and effort on that project was appreciated (even if my boss would disagree).
the alien keanu in the theater made my spit out my drink as i scrolled down and saw his face on the floor.
“Score: 105″
So, all I have to do to be in the Monsters’ Ball is be at least twice as funny as the funniest I have ever been on this site?
You’re on!
I’ll take a quiet summer over another Summer of Death any time. Summer of Death ’09 was the pits.
I’m offended that no one voted for me for best commentator of the week.
PSYCHE! Just kiddin’!
New Mad Men this weekend. More like RAD Men, am I right, kids?
Don’t worry, Steve, you’re always the worst commenter all the time.
Upvotes to infinity.
I only regret that I had but one downvote to give to that awful, awful Popeye’s comment.
I just went back to the post to make sure that I’d downvoted it first time around. I had, but clicked the little grayed out thumb just for good measure.
I’m just glad unionman didn’t win for his comments in the Top Chef thread
Unionman’s was way worse. Truth be told, I (white dude!) would also dance in the streets if a Popeye’s opened near my apartment. Racist intent is awful, but god damn I love Popeye’s. Just reading the word is magical.
Speaking of racism, is anyone else bummed that Jeff Dunham is at the David Hasslehoff roast on the comedy central channel next month? I feel like I’m not going to be able to watch it. I liked the Norm Macdonald one with Bob Saggot. It’s not that I can’t handle political incorrectness, it’s just that Jeff Dunham isn’t funny at all. He skeeves me out like the way Seth MacFarlane of Family Guy skeeves me out. I think this is one of those areas of common cause I have with you people.
speaking of awkwardly homophobic misspellings of dudes’ names.
Also: “you people”
Ugh, God. I just saw this comment thread. What ugliness this week despite such lovely Keanu photoshopping.
I feel really stupid, but I didn’t understand that comment. What’s Popeye? Is that something related to the cartoon or something? I don’t get it
I totally missed out on the Titanic BNPG!
Great job this week everyone. I heard the producers of the view were so moved by our outrage they have replaced Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
Obama looks weird in that shot
#goingmetaalltheway
i just peed my pants.
Oh, dang I am no Werttrew, I nearly forgot: illegal monster after-show in Chicago next week http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=147927091888802
Any monsters going to Lolla/aftershows this year? I’ll seeing Walkmen and The National aftershows Fri and Sat evening And actual Lolla on Sunday. Never been before, I’ve heard horror stories, but I’m still excited.
sometimes it takes a horrendously racist comment on an internet website to expose me to something amazing and beautiful that happened, and hopefully continues to happen, a mere 40 blocks from my home. so, uh, thanks laughcamp?
You have a Popeyes Chicken 40 blocks from your home? That’s rad. Thanks for sharing, brohams.
i would never live that far from a popeye’s.
RACIST!!!!!!!!
Popeye’s grand opening?
That’s what I said.
Bill Simmons recently had a very interesting idea: Comedy MVPs by year. http://kottke.org/10/07/comedy-mvps Who was the key comic in any given year? For instance, Chris Farley is 1995’s MVP; last year belong to Zach Galifianiakis.
So, naturally, given my propensity to quantify all things Videogum, I began to think about Monthly Monster MVPs. This year, as I see it:
January: Tie: Dance Contest Winner & Patrick M. DCW had back to back #1 comments; Patrick M had two Editor’s choice comments.
February, March, and April: Notsewfast. Is there anybody who’s ever hit the funny so good so consistently for so long? In the span of 10 weeks, Notsewfast knocked everything down. Seven #1 comments (six of them in a row). Thirteen Top Five comments. Three-time Caption Winner. (Bizarrely, though, Notsewfast has never won Editor’s Choice! Whaddup with that, Gabe?)
May: Mans. His really great comments in the Machete trailer, counseling a commenter who was coping with enormous depression, proved you don’t need to be in the Monsters’ Ball to be a Monster Best.
June: Steve Winwood. Steve went a remarkable turn-around in the last few months, culminating in this month when he became the first commenter ever to win the Videogum EGOT: caption winner, lowest voted, editor’s choice, and Top Five with a #1 comment.
So the question is, who’s MVP for July? I see four clear candidates: Topknot, who’s hit the top five three times this month, including a #1; Godsauce, who did amazing things in last week’s Nerd Movies BNPG and has hit top five three times this month; Patrick M, whose won Caption Winner two weeks in a row with great comments; or Chareth Cutestory, who had the #1 comment EVER in Videogum history three weeks ago?
I love all 4 semifinalists, but didn’t Cutestory get something like 300+ up-votes? I say we have a clear champion.
How about Werttrew for coming through while Gabe was at ComicCon and compiling the Monster’s Ball in his absence? I’d say that gets a vote or two.
Other than that, I’d put my vote in for Cutestory as well. Honorable monster mentions should go out to Caseante and Chris Trash though as well. And Guided by Vodka. And Mr. Hausfrau. Oh hell, you’re all marvelous (except for Windwood, natch).
Werttrew could you supply us loser monsters who missed out on the #1 comment with a link to it?
http://videogum.com/198561/the-videogum-why-dont-you-caption-it-contest-the-ladies-of-the-daily-show/franchises/why-dont-you-caption-it/
Oh that was awesome.
Wertrew, who here among us has the most votes for worst commentator of all time? Just curious, guy. Not trying to make a federal case out of it.
Speaking of the hunt for the worst of all time, when will the next season of thftwmoat premier? That’s my favorite blog series.
The complete Monsters’ Ball stats are here: http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/270476062/complete-list-of-videogums-monsters-ball-commenters
Steve, you’ve gotten Lowest Voted more time than anyone else, but that wouldn’t make you “worst commentator of all time.”
Gabe hasn’t stated when exactly when the WMOAT would return. At the end of Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist WMOAT, he wrote: “Thus ends the latest round of nominees. And now, the Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time is going on Spring Hiatus. What with the Videogum Movie Club season kicking into high gear, and also my eyes suffering from poison-exhaustion, I’m going to take a short break from watching really awful things all the time. I hope you, as fellow HUMAN BEINGS, will understand. But, in the meantime, we have some other fun things planned for the next couple months (TBA!), and the Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time will be back before you know it.”
I take it that means we have to wait at least till the end of the summer movie season. My guess would be mid-September, after Labor Day, but that’s just my best guess.
I don’t want to get too mushy and “everyone-gets-a-candy-because-it-is-Sunday-School”, but:
I think that everyone here is pretty much MVP. I know that sounds weak, but really, I think that the generally positive, even when teasing one another, atmosphere elevates everyone. It is nice that here everyone is competing to say the most clever, most interesting, most insightful possible thing, rather than to make the youngest child cry.
I don’t want to sound like the conductor on the last train to BoringDadTown, but I started reading Videogum because it was funny, and I kept reading because I appreciated the moral and intellectual judgments being made by Gabe, but I started commenting because of the thoughtful and funny community I found inside. Basically, I guess the Videogum comments are a magic, sidways-world multi-faith church where everyone is hanging out, looking at photoshopped pictures of baby animals flying kites until we are ready to move on becuase community.
All I’m trying to say is: I don’t disagree with the individual greatness of any of the above mentioned folks, but just also: Hooray for everyone.
MVP of the Year
2008: Werttrew
2009: Notsewfast
2010: Mans
agreed. kadooz to everyone.
Hooray!