Photos
Tonight is the premiere of Jersey Shore, season 2. All our old pals! Snacko and DJ Paul and Eddie. This season, of course, the gang goes down to Miami Beach. Neat! Is the show called Miami Shore now? No! It’s weird how this show out of all the shows doesn’t operate according to strict rules of logic and contextual reliability. You would think that would be really important to the producers, and REALLY important to the cast. So, here we are. How excited are you?
“Kind of excited, I guess, I’ll watch it? I don’t know, it’s weird!”
–You (1988-2012)
I already mentioned this earlier this week, but I really don’t see this show extending far beyond this season. Oh, we will watch this season (DON’T DOUBT IT) but how many years do we want to spend with these creeps? (And let’s be honest: they are creeps. Wonderful, ignorant, half-blind with self-obsession, gumball-mouthed, lovable CREEPS.) 10 years? 1,000 years? If there is one thing that television audiences appreciate, it is novelty, and if there is one group of people who have neither the intellectual capacity nor the discernible skills to do anything other than what we have already seen them do repeatedly (hit on girls, poison hot tubs) it is these goofballs. It’s true that you never know what they’re going to say next, but what they are going to say next definitely follows some pretty recognizable patterns. ANYHOW: tonight! Let’s get wasted responsibly! (This game can and should also be played with juice, which is delicious.)
Rules:
Drink if:
- Someone pumps their fist at the ceiling, the floor, or another human being’s face.
- Someone says something about themselves that differentiates wildly from the reality of them.
- A hot tub is just ruined.
- Subtitles are used because it would be impossible for Americans to understand what is being said.
- A bottle of hairspray is filmed.
- A bottle of hair gel is filmed.
- An article of clothing is removed when an article of clothing could have just as easily remained on.
- An article of clothing is worn by an adult that looks like an article of clothing intended for a child or a piece of fabric intended to clean up a small household mess.
- An otherwise normal looking meal is served with an energy drink or protein shake.
- Someone expresses an “emotion” (either in an argument, or a ruined hot tub) but you can’t for the life of you tell what that emotion is.
- Someone (non-cast) who believes that the world is made out of logic and rules has an encounter with someone who doesn’t know what either of those things are.
- Pride is expressed about something that many people might find to be a source of shame.
Good luck! Don’t play!
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Hopefully this season we find out what’s in the hatch.
SPOILER: It’s a tanning bed.
I was thinking lots of syphilis
I’m actually planning on playing this game. Hey monsters, I’ll call you if I get too drunk!
How do you play syphilis?
I imagine it’s similar to pick-up sticks, or pokemon.
Gotta catch ‘em all.
I got drunk from the trailer! This is going to be a long night (that I wont remember).
When is the hair-gel?!!!
I’m glad Comcast added MTV in HD (FINALLY!). The picture’s gonna be so clear, I’ll practically be able to smell Paulie D’s chest wax.
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Also:
Notsewfast! When you agree to sponsor someone, you must be available at any time! Now little Chuckie is off the wagon again!
Ah man, no YCMIU this week? I was looking forward to “YCMIU: Gabe Buys New Pants.”
Already got my IV drip prepped for when I collapse of alcohol poisoning and have to be taken to the hospital. Way to think ahead, champ.
OMG! If I play this drinking game, I will die of alcohol poisoning! Gabe, are you trying to kill us all?!
I believe I’ll just go ahead and swallow a pint of hair gel mixed with vodka and fall asleep in a tanning bed.
“I am so ready to pound down, bro!” – Gabe, probably
Anytime Mike uses his nickname as a pun
“We have ‘A SITUATION’ here”
-The Situation
GTL baby!
Oh, look at Mr. Cool T-Shirt.
Them?
Also drink if the cast members go to a club that looks about as fun as having carpet tacks removed from your gums.
Ahhh! That is too many rules, Gabe.
Nobody could survive this drinking game.
No one.
Awesome gif, werttrew!
Claim to fame: Pauly D is from Rhode Island, so am I, Boom.
(I believe this falls under the category of “Pride is expressed about something that many people might find to be a source of shame.”)
I was talking to my friend when the show first came out (who grew up in New York before he moved), and it turns out JWOWW is his second cousin! He’s never met her, but we all were really proud of him. I think this falls under the same category.
Did the girl in the white doily get fake boobs between seasons, or have they always been that big and cheap-looking?
I’m shocked that you’re just now noticing them! Those puppies definitely get more than the recommended daily dose of vitamin D (and UV rays).
I can’t tell whether this is going to be great or awful. I lived in a dorm last year and we all watched it together, or talked about it over the week, or put up quotes from the show in the communal bathroom, and everybody had Jersey Shore-themed parties and stuff. But now all these people are famous and Obama mentioned them in the White House Correspondent’s dinner and McCain mentioned them on his twitter page and they’ve been on The View and Pauly D has his own ice cream flavor! It feels like now they’re part of mainstream America, which is definitely not why we embraced them last year. Now it feels like if I text my roommate about tonight’s episode, I might as well be texting, “Hey, I can’t believe what happened on the news last night!”
Exactly, the only reason the show was interesting is because they were all so, so dumb, just like any non-competition reality TV show (and some of the competition ones, too). But now we’re like…treating them like real people? Like now we’re actually watching because we’re interested in their lives and care about them as people?
“Snooki’s emotional heartbreak had me in tears all night!” — An Actual Person, Probably
I am not comfortable with this.
I’ve heard a lot of stuff about how it’s ‘not as real’ and they’re all too self-aware and quasi celebrities.
Bull. Every single one of these kids grew up with the Real World and Flavor of Love and is under the impression that it’s their god-given right to be on a reality show (in fact, that may apply to half the nation’s youth). There’s no question that they’ll act as ‘naturally’ as they ever did, because to them nothing’s changed. Duh the world would find them compelling and want to listen to their singles and buy their branded steroid juice. Why wouldn’t they? Some of them are bartenders who do great things!!
Oh my God… they’ve become self-aware!
Also anytime someone says “I’m in Miami bitch!” As if we needed more rules.
Drink heavily if:
1. You are planning on watching the show.
Maybe (hopefully!) you’ll pass out before the show starts!
I’ve never watched this show and I don’t get why everyone talks about it all the time
Neat comment.
Look who is talking, you have a rad comment as well there, friend
))((
I think you are missing this
If you’re referring to poop, then no, I wasn’t missing it. I just want to touch butts with Steve.
That One, you are a total butt-touch. It is plain as day.
Total Grab Ass
Thanks to the tequila bottles over their faces, I can’t tell who is who. And they disappear for such a short time, how does one hyper-tanned face get distinguished from the rest! And why do I care!
Oh well. Cartoon Rambo muscles and fake boobs for everyone.
I don’t know how, but these knuckle draggers and dragettes somehow give cartoon Rambo muscles and fake boobs a bad name.
Ugh, that photo. It doesn’t help that RHONJ S02 has burned me out on guidos. Bad timing, MTV!
At first I was like, “will these GAP pants unzip already so I can see the picture?!” And then I was like “is there a way to put those back on?”
The tequila bottles won’t disappear long enough for me to be sure, but is that Angelina all the way on the left? Does this mean they brought her back for season 2!? She seemed to be the only somewhat reasonable one, in the sense that she got the eff out of that house after a few weeks. I also loved her shouting UMMM, HELLO!? every 10 seconds. Oh you people.
THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD!
It took me so long to actually read this post instead of replaying the sidebar Gap video again and again and again because ooommmgggg nnnNNnnNNNNNNnnNNNn birds on the cuffs SO KEWT I want them. Anyways, underage monster over here so I will be taking a shot of milk instead of alcohol. Notsewfast knows what I’m talking about. (Or does (s)he? Maybe Notsewfast is the kind of baby that drinks his/her father’s beer at a baseball game. Notsewfast, was that you? If so, update your picture, you have hair now, congrats!!)
who else that was born before 1988 now feels too old to be here?
You’re implying that kids born in the 90s are tall enough to reach the computer? Fuck, I’m going to Schnuck’s to by a titload of Fixodent and Depends because marketing demographic.
I have a feeling I know where this game is going…..
