Photos
This morning, the cast of Jersey Shore rang the bell at the New York Stock Exchange. Sure. You know how it is when you’re conducting high-volume complex financial trades with shockwave ramifications for the global economy and you look up and it’s like, heyoooooooh! The new season, of course, premieres this Thursday, and the cast has already signed on for a third season, which means that we will get to see the passion play of their struggles with newfound fame acted out in full followed by the passion play of their struggles with the inevitable decline of public interest unfolding in real time! Seriously, I’m as interested in seeing our old pals get up to some of their Classic Garbage Shenanigans as much as anyone, but this show/cast can’t possibly have that much steam left once the novelty wears off. I really liked the first season of the Real World, too, but I wouldn’t have wanted to follow the Adventures of Eric Nies for years either. Anyway, better caption this photo now while it still makes sense to do so.
The winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball, or as DJ Pauly D would say, “winner will receive special placement in huh I forgot what another Vodka Red Bull please.” (Photo via BestWeekEver.)
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GTL is up sharply at the opening bell.
Give me 2000 shares of Wonka! He’s juicing the slave labor!
What?
The loompa on the right looks pretty sad, I think Wonka should put him into the Employee Counseling Machine (formerly the butterscotch smelt).
“Bro, I should have pounded out Viacom months ago.”
“Being up here makes my stock rise, know what I mean, bra?” -DJ Pauly D
Sorry.
Time to smash the bell, homie.
Symbols of America’s cultural decline at the epicenter of America’s economic decline.
Crash.
Wall Street 3: Greed, Tanning, and Launderingry
This year orange is the new green
What an odd-looking shore.
no THIS is an odd-looking shore…
That’s not a knife.
I see you’ve played Knifey-Pauly before.
Pobody’s Nerfect in Australia.
*Pauly Shore makes sassy pose at organisers who snubbed him for the 11th Gathering*
the site organizers have a special unit to clear out the weasels before the juggalos arrive.
What a weird looking tanning salon.
Yo, I thought you couldn’t bring no grenade up in here, but Snickers came along anyway.
NASDAQ gains.
“3 seasons of Jersey Shore isn’t cool.
You know what’s cool?
3 BILLION seasons of Jersey Shore.”
“We have cornered the market in Orange Juice Futures!”
The Jersey Shore cast refused some passing Juggalos entry to their exclsuive party. No Faygo
I’ll take all my money in shares of 2012 please.
“Grease is Good”
I prefer “Guid’ is good”, but I upvoted you anyway.
Well I upvoted both of you so everybody wins!
I upvoted all three of you. But as we go deeper into layers of upvoting, the commenting becomes more unstable.
If I reply on the next level, will I get into Commenting Limbo so I can upvote you forever?
Snooki down 90% in after hours hot tub trading
http://fourfour.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b8c369e20120a70bb39a970b-800wi
Oof. Fail X 2. I’m so sorry guys.
The Lawnmower man hates us both.
and Snooki bathes in your tears
Viacom presents the winners of the Jersey Shore/The Hills Challenge.
Credit Default Wops
Conflicted upvote for late grandfather being quite active in the Italian American Anti-Defamation League, but an upvote nevertheless.
Racism is evil, bra.
PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYCHE!!!!!!!!!!!
The Situation discovers where to find the best cocaine.
I heard it through the grapevine that the Jersey Shore’s Situation is starting to look like a California Situ-Raisin.
Tony Hayward finds a new gig.
everything IS terrible.
“What is dis? what are we doin’ he-ah? We gettin’ paid for dis right?” – Orange Girl.
“Shit, you bets we gettin’ paid” – some douche.
One of them lifts up his shirt and points to his abs for no reason and I, I die a little inside.
Hall H, Comic-Con 2012.
Don’t cry DJ Pauly D, 2012 will be here soon enough.
The Situation points out all the hot stock-trading babes to Ronnie.
The 563rd, 564th, 565th, 566th, 567th, 568th, 569th and 570th most douchey people in the room.
Red Bull Market
The Cast of Jersey Shore: Giving a new meaning to the phrase “‘Dirty Money.”
Diversify this, oohhhhhhhh.
“Why you takin’ me to a bear market? I only smoosh with gorillas.” -J Wow
I believe that’s a Snooki quotation
Yes, this is classic Snookie, but I upvoted for the pun.
Beat the Street!
JWoWW’s smile momentarily fades as she remembers her Wharton MBA and a dream left behind.
Gosh, wouldn’t that be something.
She’s pretty.
Mr. Cool Shades, Steroids Balls, Mrs. Steroids Balls, Blowout LaDouche, The Most Unattractive Woman in the World, Male Cast Member of Unknown Handle, Corporate Guido, and Female Cast Member of Unknown Handle do a menial task that could have been done by any old schmuck but is instead covered by media members who then go home and drown their sorrows in whiskey and tears over wasting their life covering “celebrities” who have no more talent and purpose than the most useless overboozed college VD factories they truly are.
[Citation needed]
This is what capitalism is for.
Someone downvoted me for THAT? I’m going home.
It’s the downvote trolls, they come out for every recurring feature, for some reason.
“Forget it, ohthehorrorofitall, it’s Trolltown”.
Don’t go home! We’ve (I’ve) missed you.
Great, now all my stocks have herpes.
I like all the captions, but this is the only one that actually caused me to LOL.
“It only takes a 9/5 stock split to break the market right open.”
‘senient oil spill takes over stock exchange’
Not very good at high school, really good at business.
“How’s my stock taste, bro?”
BOO-YEAH!!! Clearly brilliant and it’s weird you don’t have way more up-votes. This is like the Dawes of comments.
The good news is that Snookie gave the DOW a much needed bump.
Meanwhile, back at the shore:
Behind the scenes the ultimate “Who’s On First” type routine breaks out with a simple “We have a Situation up here”.
AMERICA!
FUCK YEAH!
*fist pump*
Sell your shares in MTV in 2 weeks, because this peak in viewership is gonna end after episode 3 of season 2!
“No, we cannot rename it the ‘NASDAGO’.”
Which one is the “Stimulus Package”?
LOL?
Perfect.
Amazing. I’m assuming since this doesn’t have all the upvotes ever, people aren’t looking closely enough.
Thanks for this response. Patrick M’s comment did, in fact, take me a minute, but it is genius.
This graph is the best graph.
Always Be (getting) Chlamydia
Something something something bare market
“Where Gordon Gekko at? My scruples be itching!”
“Y’all are ‘committing the robbery’ every day and I gotta give you props for that,” The Situation.
Vasoline
Indatub
Always
Clothing
Optional
Ma?
“They just ganking the ‘sloppy seconds” of the middle class,” Vinny.
Black Tuesday.
Orange Tuesday.
Touche!
DING DING DING
I can’t stop watching it.
TomatoBank goes public
Can I still make that joke if I’m partly Italian? Marinara sauce runs through our veins.
“It does not have to be a joke about how they are Italian. It could actually be a joke about how they look like tomatoes. So it’s fine.”- Silvio Berlusconi
“America”
World’s Respect: Not Pictured.
I’m like a prison jumpsuit. Because I’m bright orange and once I’m on you, you’ll really start to question the life decisions that led you to this point.
(Wallstreet gets it.)
Like the market itself, Ronnie’s weight is subject to unpredictable fluctuations.
Four months later, the American economy was cancelled.
Awwww…they think they’re people!
“Orange went up 364 points today.” – The Local 6:00 News
“I hope we’re getting paid for this because those tanning taxes have depleted my entire Jersey Shore earnings.” — Snookie (Just kidding, she’d never use the word “depleted.”)
Snooki visits stock exchange, offers evidence the U.S. is moving towards a scenario of severe hairpoof deflation.
WHY IS THIS DOWNVOTED
I DEMAND ANSWERS
I deserve that.
The reaction on the floor:
“So I guess Wall Street had a real SITUATION on their hands the other day… yeah, The Situation rang the bell at Wall Street. Get it? Haha.” -Jay Leno
It’s funny and sad because it’s true.
In room full of people the sit still found the camera. They must be trained.
ugh
“Are those guys down there supposed to be fist pumping?” -Snooki
It’s amazing. The economy has been hit in all areas.
July 27, 2010: Orange Tuesday.
AHAHAHA…I love this.
The cast of “Jersey Shore.” Not pictured: anyone with discernible talent.
2010 official Al Qaeda recruitment poster
I believe they thought they were Armani Exchange.
how is it that JWOWW looks the most professional and businesslike in this picture?
Viacom? More like Viabus. (Oof, someone is late to the party).
SELL! SELL! SELL!
Quick,look like you smell like money.
“NYSE Executive Vice President Ronald Kent Wakes Up on the Jersey Shore of His Own Subconsciousness After Improperly Incepting a “Ring His Bell” Euphemism in the Mind of Snooki Polizzi”
“In a daring cross-promotion by MTV Networks, the Jersey Shore invades the Real World.”
“NJSE”
Blech. THUMB DOWN, E’ERYBODY.
No, Gabe: Why Don’t Yous Guys Caption It?
In America’s darkest economic hour, 8 great heroes rise to save a nation.
America… Fist pumping our way out of the recession!
Pretty woman X’s 8
cleavage and Randolph don’t mix
Turn those machines back on. TURN THOSE MACHINES BACK OOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!!
Also, JWOWW loves this movie, obvi:
Orangebank executives officially announce the floating of their stock.Tomatobank shares rise by proxy.
GTLNYSE
[IMG]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y276/grendelzero/whosawesome.jpg[/IMG]
hope i used the right “gabe transparent red text overlay” font
srsly videogum the time i spend figuring out how to post an image is twice as long as i spent in photoshop.
here:
For future reference, just drop the [IMG] tags
This is why we can’t have nice things.
“Big dips in the Stock Market today.”