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It’s the most wonderful time of the year, my ninjas.
Is it just me, or has the Gathering of the Juggalos become self-aware in a way that is alarming? Is the Gathering of the Juggalos our generation’s SkyNet? For one thing, the lineup of the musicians at this year’s event is unapproachable. There are actual rap legends performing at this thing (and also Afroman). Hannibal Buress is performing this year? Please be careful, Hannibal Buress! Moreover, they definitely seem to be in on the joke at this point in a way that takes most of the fun out of it. Oh well. But also, let’s be honest: they are not in on the joke in a way that takes ALL the fun out of it. There is so much fun in this joke still!
For example:
And also, everything that comes out of their mouths, including but not limited to:
“You’ll meet people, make future best friends, you’ll probably get laid.”
“And making her debut on the mic, the girl I actually went to high school with, no lie: Tila Tequila.”
“Fuck yeah, cuz ain’t no two juggalos alike, truthfully.”
“You know myself along with Dayton Family, and the Axe Murder Boys are throwing a hatchet house bubble foam party!”
Also:
Helicoptor rides. Sure.
And my perennial favorite:
Unfortunately, it appears that hayrides will not be available this year. That must have been a Limited Edition 10th Anniversary Special Activity. (Thanks for the tip, Austin, Jim, Tyler, SarcasticMeow, and OuestN.)
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5:00 at the Seminar tent:
Double Rainbows: How Do They Work and What Do They Mean?
5:30 — Fucking Miracles
6:45- Hatchets and Cleavers: A discussion on Identity
7:30 – Dinner & Keynote speaker: Differentiating between daytime and evening Juggalo makeup application and face-painting dessert workshop!
I’m going to save this for a later, depressing thread, but let me hint that this weekend, I found myself looking skyward, asking those very questions.
Saturday night?
Yes! I say we discuss further on a thread that drives either of us towards the precipice of madness.
Hopefully Mel will come through for us today. Or, they’ll decide to do a newer, grittier reboot of I Spit On Your Grave.
I will say, I was at Brew Fest, and the crowd’s collective reaction to said event was nothing short of spectacular.
5:05 – Dick Jokes.
I might just have to cancel my tour of medical schools for this.
You’re going to medical school? I’m not sure I want a doctor who spends all his (her?) time on Videogum.
I’m sure it’s just for informational purposes. I tour dental schools for fun all the time.
I’m not in medical school yet, but I will be. How would you feel about a pediatrician who attends the Gathering of the Juggalos?
That is my only requirement.
Fucking Gallagher, how does he (get) work?
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/gallagher-is-a-paranoid-right-wing-watermelon-smashing-maniac/Content?oid=4357855
Gallagher is there to make the Juggalos look peaceful and tolerant.
i am now concerned regarding the harmony of what i was assuming was a truly post-racial gathering, where white and black can come together and mutually enjoy all the underground music kinds, especially that sick ass rap, for what will happen when method man and redman catch gallagher’s race-baiting? stern looks, my friends. stern looks placated by fat checks.
I’ve met him and he is a MASSIVE racist.
No negro?
the man does have an overwhelming hatred of watermelons…
I started a blog called “Stuff That’s Part of the Problem” and Gallagher was the first entry that I made.
it will be ‘the gallaghering of the juggalos’ when he takes the stage.
see what i did there?
I’m doing what now?
No pitchforks this year? Damn. They best be sprayin’ viruses from out them muthafuckin’ helicopters. That’s all I’m sayin’.
RIP, ASS DAN.
#obviouscomment
Don’t forget about Ron Jeremy tellin’ jokes about slangin’ dick. He’s got the best dick jokes, yo!
it’s kind of lost the magic for me. i wonder if sugar slam has a blog?
Sadly not *that* Sugar Slam:
http://www.sugarslam.com/
for some reason i find the same “sweet sugar slam” really funny. i sort of silently laugh every time i think of it
00:26 – that guy with the bangs does not look like a Juggalo. Somebody’s infiltrated the Gathering and not told us!
I am also really disappointed that comradery is a perfectly legitimate word.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/comradery
I actually thought it was a tea-party/Obama is a socialist/juggalos can’t spell in-joke.
I shall now spell camaraderie as “comradery” from now on.
In my mind, I’m already there.
Vanilla Ice! Shaggy 2 dope old-school rap thing! babies! The Gathering 2010!
Your sitter:
I spent too long making this image not to post it whenever it’s applicable.
That is as delightful as it is terrifying.
NO HAYRIDE!
What about Violent J’s Beach Boys BBQ Blow Out Bash Blast (the fourth, my nerd)?
“Some of the performers are gonna be drunk as hell!”
I like how this is acceptable at the Gathering. Usually when I see a drunk Coolio, I give him the change I just got back from the grocery store.
Seminars AND wrestling? Sounds like grad school all over again, amirite?
They were definitely trying to make sense of last year’s video with this one. The announcer didn’t talk about what an underground you were, he talked about what a brother you were. Plus, when they started talking about the myriad activities, they didn’t just jump into it:
“no two juggalos are alike.”
“people like totally different things!”
“and as a result, we want a lot of different activities that would entertain wildly varying people.”
“ergo… helicopter rides and foam parties.”
The announcer’s voice is chock full of
.
I have been waiting for this all summer. This has made my week. It’s all downhill from here.
New Found Glory understands
Shout-out to 2002!
Juggalette’s Revenge on Tuesday night! With Tila Tequila! Woman Ninja Magnet Power!
p.s. Chrome doesn’t recognize “Juggalette” as a real word.
There’s probably already an online petition to have that corrected.
See You there Gabe and Joe Mande
#T14TT
Oh man, please make this happen. Joe Mande’s report would be amazing — that is, if he doesn’t get murdered and/or stomped to death.
Ummm Should somebody start a paypal account to get him down there? I can chip in like twenty dollars for gas.
You know, I don’t condone terrorism or acts of violence in any way, so I will not make the comment that I have in mind. Instead, let’s play madlibs!
Hey [NOUN], if you are looking for a target for your [VERB], you should consider aiming your [NOUN] at the 11th annual [PROPER NOUN] convention!
Having said that…
pfft. i hate not having sound on my work computer. sadness ensues. you’re all having such a good time at the gathering without me, aren’t you? i won’t be able to fully appreciate this until 7pm, summer bummer!!!!!!!!!!!
Ladies night is both for the Juggalettes and the horny Juggalos? So, this isn’t a female empowerment thing is it?
They probably don’t want that Men’s Rights Lawyer repeating his “ladies’ night is sexist” case against them.
But what about Juggalo Furries? The annual festival needs to except the Juggalo fringe or there will be no cultural advancement as a people!
Dude! Not first thing in the morning, please!
She really went full on with the make up there…and then got to the T-shirt….
Although on second look, it’s kind of like cat makeup right? I don’t think antelopes looks like that.
Not to get all “Professor Mythical Creatures” here, but a Jackalope is a jack rabbit with antelope horns. So a jugalope is essentially, jack rabbit, a juggalo, and an antelope. And probably some meth.
Professorship or not, it is clear to me you have pursued at least some level of post-graduate studies on mythical (meth-ical?) creatures, and I will henceforth defer to your expertise.
Nicki Minaj seethes at her first choice outfit already being taken when she headlines the 12th annual’s “Ladies’ Night”
Batting gloves?
How else is she supposed to get herself above the Mendoza Line?
For Bussin Heads in the Jugalette Mosh Pit, of Course
This is exactly what I picture “Ladies” night being like. These jugalettes are no ladies.
The harpoons. Man them.
You’re telling me Big Money Rustlas went straight to DVD!!!?????!?????
Thereby excluding itself from the hunt for the worst movie of all time!!?
me:
Well played, ICP, well played.
As long as the Psychopathic Rydas are around, the bandanna industry never has to worry.
There’s always money in the bandana stand
– Marketing Officer, speaking at Hatchetgear Quarterly Profits Meeting
Videogum Movie Club for Big Money Rustlas, yes/yes?
Has Blaze (Ya Dead Homey) not put out a new video since the last Gathering? You guys, I’m worried about our dead homey, Blaze.
The placement of the subtitles “FAMILY” and “LOVE” next to each other is an unsettling yet probably appropriate juxtaposition. Yuck.
Also, I couldn’t help but mentally tack “MICHAEL” on the end there.
Guys let’s plan our own Videogum Festival!
I’m definitely on the hayride planning committee. Also snacks. And I want a mix of comedy and music acts.
I’ll sort out the booze.
Headliners!
I wish!
i actually think that videogum should have their own party during SXSW. stereogum is already down there, why don’t they just take gabe along?
I was on the fence about attending this year but now that they’ve announced Gallagher is going to be there I can’t not go. Plus I can get my tickets at Hot Topic. Win Win.
“unfortunately, you will have to clock out to buy tickets and I will have to approve the transaction at the register”
– your hot topic manager
JuggaLOL!
Double rainbow all the way.
When did Swizz Beats gets caught up in the Juggalo scene??
There’s about to be Tila Tequilla! There’s about to be midgets! There’s about to be Ron Jeremy! He does have good dick jokes!!!!!! (Is what I hope they will say about me when i die, or perform at Gathering of the Juggalos.)
How about the rapper with the level 10 lisp that named himself Anybody Killa (“The Hatchet Man”)?
I like to imagine Anybody Killa trying to think of his name and getting nowhere…and just being sad and down on himself…crying….saying to himself….”I’m gangsta, I’m tough…I’ll kill anybody….I’m an anybody killa…….THATS IT (wipes tears from his eyes). ANYBODY KILLA…..HEAR THAT MOM? I’M GONNA BE A FAMOUS RAPPER.”
Are the hosts driving to the Jugallo Gathering in Europe, or are they driving on the wrong side of the road?
Either way, the motor home at 2:12 is not nearly as excited about seeing Tech Nine perform this year.
my actual girlfriend, no lie:
Her midwestern accent is so fucking hardcore, ninja
so you’re violent j?
how are the kids?
I hear they look just like Shaggy.
can you tell me what kind of high school she attended?
Presumably a terrible one.
No, for sure, I think I have a legit crush on Miss Sugar Slam. She is too precious.
Is it the way she is able to fit mother fucker into any sentence and make it seem so natural, making you wonder why we all as a mother fucking society don’t sprinkle random expletives into all our conversations?
My whole week is better because of this. I put that on my nuts, bitch.
corporal robinson CANNOT jump into fucking cars. magical editing at 12:31.
That Corporal Robertson bit was a total waste of time.
If only they got that redneck wrestler DJ Clay really hated and then we could have had a bit more frission.
Words cannot express the joy/sorrow upon seeing this. It’s blowing my brains.
I’m sorry, but this makes me super sad to see Slick Rick, Rob Base, and Warren G at this thing.
If Mos Def, Bun B, The RZA, and Chuck D go to the 2011 Gathering of the Juggalos, that’s it. I’m done.
KRS-One, Rakim, Ice Cube and Run DMC are performing next year because 2012.
Now I am crying real tears just IMAGINING this taking place.
waffle house background, i’m in.
guys, some of us just woke up (at noon). too early for seventeen minutes of juggalos. i’ma nap for ten hours, then i’ll have something to say about this.
Best LOL, other than “SEMINARS”,
“If you like midgets…”
Right? As if there are people who don’t like midgets!
gallagher up in this bitch
I can’t wait to see that one dude with the facepaint!!!1
Wow, the Dayton Family say “Ghetto” a lot.
Not only have I heard of 10 of the acts that are playing, I also actually like about 3 of them. Is this the point of the movie where I realize that I am Tyler Durden?
I’m a little nervous. You don’t make ten thousand friends without making a lot of enemies.
i’m in, if only to see tom green’s joke fly over the heads of college dropouts
oh and casue i gotsta get my copy of Big Money Rustlas….i’m calling it now…Best Movie of the Decade
i think my urge to go is because of the subliminal messaging when they flash that gathering logo every 30 seconds
“Juggalos are what makes in magic.”
someone PLEASE make a gif of Awesome Dre taking his shades off
I just spit out water when he did it
Okay so my friend has been ironically obsessed with ICP and juggalos for a couple of years (sooo ahead of the curve) and as soon as I read this post, this got stuck in my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDTEBBY_cgE because I know that this chant will be heard throughout the gathering, and it will be haunting.
So Ladies’ Night is pretty much just Rape Night, right?
They banned it last year but it got added back to the festival after Wes Anderson signed a petition for its return.
I’m becoming convinced that Violent J is the world’s most masterful deceiver, and he uses his powers to dupe the impressionable into juggalodom. Shaggy 2 Dope, however, is just an idiot.
“Fresh and exciting shit to do around the fuckin’ clizock.” I played that part 15 times.
You know your sporting event is going to feature some first-class athletes when the best guy in the league can’t put down his cigarette for two minutes to film a promo. Get this guy to the Olympics, stat!
“There’s a lot of everything at the gathering. And I do mean everything.
I’m kind of into this lineup… If only there was a way to go without getting herpes.
From the website:
(https://secure.juggalogathering.com/store/buy.php)
“One ticket covers all four days, and all events (except Helicopter Rides)”
“The Big Baller Campsite sticker must be on, and remain on the vehicle at all times.”
What, you mean, we have to pay an extra fee for the h-h-helicopter rides?
I don’t want to step on any Psycopathic records toes or anything, but isn’t it obvious that all of the lead singers of the clown makeup groups could easily form a supergroup. Working band name = “Council of Pudgy Clowns”
tl;dr ICP supergroup = “Council of Pudgy Clowns”
Psychopathic Rydas are actually a supergroup…icp+twiztwid+blaze+boondox….i’m not jokin’ either…terrifying stuff
any event that takes over 17 minutes to sell must be fucking epic and totally worth my time, but i have only one question after seeing this.
hey awesome dre, where is the hardcore committee?
has age made them less “hardcore?”
perhaps they have been absolved?
have they formed a co-op or collective instead?
there are a few (one) of us who must know!