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There really isn’t much left to even say at this point. The fourth installment in the Mel Gibson Audio Tapes 2010 is just as incredible as the last three. Once again, he makes horrifying blowjob demands (as you may recall, a previous highlight included the sentence “YOU SHOULD JUST SMILE AND BLOW ME, BECAUSE I DESERVE IT.”) This time he suggests that he should be blown before burning the house to the ground, which, admittedly, of the options in which those two activities could occur, is probably the smartest order? Don’t get me wrong, that is a terrible thing to scream into the phone at the woman who mothered your child, but we can all agree that suggesting you are going to burn the house to the ground and THEN expect a blowjob is just ridiculous.
Also, has anyone else noticed how Mel Gibson is clearly just an emotionally-stunted 12-year-old? Like, yes, these tapes reveal the diseased mind of a hateful human being, but if you were to strip the racism and violence away, Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive style, you would have the whiniest crybaby tantrum ever. Someone shut that baby up!
It’s funny how at no point during this rant did he ever seem to stop and think to himself, “maybe I should just NOT say this insane thing. Like, I’m sure I’m not being taped and no one will ever hear this, and there’s no fear of repercussion for flying off the handle right now, but some of the things that keep popping into my head sound COMPLETELY NUTS AND ALSO CRAZY and are just very obviously NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR CHILD, so I will just take a quick second and come up with something else to say that is not the Mayor of Bonkerstown.” Or maybe he did think that, and then the very next thing he thought was “NAHHHH.” (Via Dlisted.)
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Bonehead!
Yeah, but he’s not a bonehead-bonehead.
Unless he wants her to blow him-blow him. Then he’s DEFINITElY a bonehead-bonehead.
What a jerk.
I kinda recused myself from all of the Mel Gibson crazy that’s been happening over the last few weeks, but it is on every news network. All of them. Literally, not figuratively.
I cannot run from it even when I’m in the gym, paying some idiot-company money for the privilege of walking up imaginary steps like a hamster.
I finally listened to an excerpt of the Mel Gibson crazy just now, and it is awful, but also, predictable.
“Whaaaattt?!!???!?! You are telling me that Mel Gibson, who made his hundreds of millions of dollars playing emotionally unstable and extremely violent characters, is emotionally unstable and violent, HIMSELF?!!??!??”
Boo, us. Let’s please stop paying attention to this obviously insane man. Who gives a fuck what he said? He is going to court, will plea out due to his very expensive lawyer, then his career is wrecked. Good. He is an awful human being, and deserves what he gets.
I don’t want any more of this garbage assaulting my brain. Let’s all just agree to please stop.
This is the one where Chris Rock and Jet Li showed up and ruined the whole series of tapes, right? Whatever, it’s good that this is the 4th one, because I’m running out of Lethal Weapon jokes at this point anyway. I give up. I’m too old for this shit.
i’m upvoting you because i met you IRL last night!
You, did, and I fully approve of that reasoning!
I just realized there is an accidental comma there that is REALLY bothering me. Gabe should implement a “do-over” button on these things.
also i just went to your profile and was confused, then realized you were reppin your wife’s website. good job!
I’m not going to listen to this. I’m going to scroll down and watch this dog smile because that makes me feel
while Mel Gibson demanding blowjobs makes me feel 
.
From now on, whenever there’s a Mel Gibson tape, I’m going to go back and read your Amelia requests, because those make me smile like that dog.
I am choosing to believe that Birdie will look like this in a couple of years. And that makes ME
Mel Gibson = THE WORST
Smiling dog gifs = THE BEST
I am in tears from trying to hard to not laugh out loud at this. I can’t stop! Help!
I can’t believe we’re on the third sequel. The original was bad enough.
Can’t bring myself to listen to it, so I’ll watch the sloths again.
http://www.vimeo.com/11712103
While I was fretting over word order, both facetaco and werttrew were better and funnier! Aw.
It’s okay, because I don’t think there is anything that I love as much as Meet the Sloths, and I enjoy a nice reminder of it now and then.
Just gonna take a quick post-lunch cat nap. Wake me up when the 5th tape comes out, which should be about an hour or so.
Hey Jamiroquai, cool hat.
You mean Orlando Bloom
They really should have split the fourth tape into two separate releases. That way they can release one during the Christmas season and another in the summer. You double your profit. Marketing 101, bonehead!
Mel didn’t chew that baby out of Oksana’s dying womb, did he?
FUCK, when I saw the picture of the video, I thought it was a parody. Oof.
Of course. Of course there is another tape. Why wouldn’t there be? The only thing that is surprising is my continued surprise.
Rainbows will cheer us up in these trying times.
There ya go.
After having consulted the DSM-IV I’m gonna say he has a problem with anger.
I think that was even in the DSM-I, although it would also diagnose him with possession by a fallen angel.
The treatment still holds though — drill to the forehead.
Wait, what did I say?
Are they just going to be releasing a new one every day? This is starting to remind me of those Time Life book series, where you order one and then they just keep on sending you crap. Who do I call to cancel?
I think these tapes are like the videotape in The Ring. You listen, and then you get a phone call…
Or, you know, his ex gets a phone call. People, stop listening!
He has a therapist? I like how he thinks she was asking for the therapist’s number so she could steal his therapist for herself (not to, for instance, report this insanity and ask for help controlling this rageaholic). Um, Mel, your therapist doesn’t seem to be very good. Nobody wants you to recommend your therapist to them.
His therapist must really have his hands full!
It’s this guy:
I’m telling you guys, Mel Gibson should replace Larry King. He could scream at the BP execs, demand blow jobs, and then threaten to burn down their houses! Lets use this lunatics madness for positive!
Also, he sounds really hoarse. I imagine he’s just constantly screaming.
He’s the Billy Mays, R.I.P., of troubled actors whose dads were Holocaust deniers
Of course he’s hoarse and constantly screaming. His girlfriend’s a god damned whore. HAVEN’T YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION???
I’m watching The Wire again, and just saw the episode where Weebey tells D’Angelo not to talk business in cars on on the phone. Mel Gibson clearly hasn’t watched The Wire. Which is just another reason to not like him.
He likes bjs guys, lighten up!
Scary Whoopi gif, ENGAGE
Gabe, I’m not being troll snarky or anything, I am legitimately confused by this bit:
“if you were to strip the racism and violence away, Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive style”
What does that mean? I’ve seen that movie a million times and have no clue what you are talking about. Seriously. Not “having a laff” or anything. Just curious, friend
“Merchandise Mart”
“Son of a bitch, our boy came home.”
????????????
“Next…stop…”
Sigh… I try and have a real conversation here and figure out a confusing statement by his worship and all I get is this insipid trolling. THANKS so much.
“I see racism everywhere and at all times.” – Gabe Dellawitz of Videogum.com fame
Alright, Winwood, it’s from that scene where Jones is listening to a recording of one of Kimble’s phone conversations and has his tech guys strip away all the excess background noise so that they can hear a train conductor in the background saying, “Sela Ward is pretty.”
Oh. Okay thanks, friend. Still doesn’t make sense really.
Ha ha ha ha, itsahotdog! you are my new favorite best friend
Jealous!
after work i am going to troll the streets for stray kittens and do this exact thing. for hours. omg. omg.
“NOOOOOOOO!! Oh, wait. AWWWWWWW.”
-ME
Or the George Lopez! Have you heard that guy lately? Sounds terrible! Always yelling.
Oops, meant to be a reply to Ian. I’m gonna go blow myself and burn my house down (I’m doing it right!)
UGH Encounter of the First Kind – Sighting of an UGH.
UGH Encounter of the Second Kind – Physical Evidence of UGH.
UGH Encounter of the Third Kind – Contact with UGH.
UGH Encounter of the Fourth Kind – Mel Gibson
Is that an otter?
yep
Does this mean that otters are something I can have and bring in to my home to be my friends?! Mel Gibson may be destroying my faith in humanity, but I tell you, it has been a GOOD week for new pet ideas.
Oh, you are never going to leave Burlington at this rate, and you’ve even going to become one of those people everyone casually references and talks about.
Wait, does she live in a Burlington Coat Factory? I’m so confused right now.
I do. I’ll maintain my anonymity by not revealing the exact location.
Wrong Burlington. That Burlington is from one of the Bad States.
So…you’re saying I am going to be the next Birdman? I am both flattered and frightened.
Naw, Birdman is a Major figure, you’d have to put in your time as a Minor figure, like the Singing Lady, or Accordian Playing Girl, or Pipe-Smoking Guy.
Ahh, right. Exotic Pet Girl. Maybe I could hang out with the Parrot Guy. We could walk up and down Church St. together being like “What, people are looking at me? Why would anyone look at me? I’m totally not carrying a giant bird/leading the cutest fucking otter ever along on a leash.”
Naw, don’t hang out with Parrot Guy. I saw him smoking, which means he was just blowing smoke straight into his pets. Awesome guy.
But yeah, that whole, what? What could I be doing that is drawing all this attention? bit is annoying. At least when I walk down the street with the cutest dog (stolen from my landlords) ever (and occasionally also in a tie, vest, and fedora), I know everyone is staring. (And so does the pup, it’s fantastic. Every time we turn onto Church he momentarily freaks about all the people, but then regains his composure and struts, knowing everyone is looking at him. It’s pretty much my favorite thing.)
You’d THINK that it’d be easy to figure out who you are, what with the tie/vest/fedora/dog combination. Alas, in Burlington – not the case.
Soooooo….anyone read any good books lately?
Lotsa Thomas Bernhard, and will do more, but currently taking a break to read Lord of the Rings.
You?
White Teeth. I know, a little behind the curve, but holy crap is it good! Also just finished Stumbling on Happiness which is totes interesting…and funny!
I liked White Teeth. I had some issues/frustrations with it, but overall it was good, and since Zadie Smith has made the same criticisms of it that I had, I look forward to eventually getting around to her other stuff.
I’m reading all of the Sherlock Holmes stories and novellas, in completion and in order. It’s a slog, but also really fun in its own way. #bibliogum
I’m reading “Dead Aid” and it’s fantastic. Informative, inspiring, and engaging. And it includes some snide burns at Bono.
Mira Grant’s “Feed”, which is pretty much the only zombie novel besides “World War Z” worth reading. Also a bunch of Murakami, why did no one tell me this guy was awesome?
I only haven’t told you cause I haven’t met you in real life (probably). Murakami is the man. Give Kobo Abe a try also; he’s another Japanese author very much influenced by Western writing, though he is more accepted by the traditional Japanese literati.
World War Z is phenomonal. I expected it to be entertaining and probably well-plotted, but was surprised how good it was on a sentence-by-sentence level. Feed is good too?
I love Murakami! “Sputnik sweetheart” is my favourite of the short novels, and I think “Kafka On The Shore” is my fave of the long ones.
Augh, saw this comment late so I don’t know if you’re still reading, but thanks for the Kobo Abe rec! I’m trying hard to read more authors from outside the US these days. And yeah, Feed is pretty good (disclosure: the author is a friend of a friend). It’s the first in a forthcoming trilogy and is full of very clever ideas I haven’t seen in zombie fiction before.
I think I am going to trust my instincts this time and stay away from this one. I want this to be a happy Wednesday, dammit! Where are all the pictures of silly animals riding unicycles?
(Really, Google images? Not even one picture of an animal on a unicycle?)
This is more terrifying than adorable, but:
Happy Wednesday!
You really pulled through for me, lilbobbytables! I am pleased with your offering.
At this point all we can do is hope youtube enables closed caption on these videos asap.
Mel Gibson’s next phone call tape better just be him screaming “AM I BEING RECORDED??”
he’s still got it.
There it is.
“And they make their goddamned bed, WHICH YOU DID NOT!”
I refuse to acknowledge this post and instead say,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Joshisgermany. I got you a cake.
Mmmmmm…… super anal rape, my favorite flavor.
Move over, Orlando Bloom. Mel Gibson is graduating Magna Cum Loud from Crazygonuts U! He is, in fact, the valedictorian!
Um… At least he thinks his daughter is beautiful…? :/
Is it crazy that I almost (>i<almost) pity him? This isn’t just him being a colossal asshole or a spoiled child having a tantrum. He’s really, really disturbed. It’s probably going to end tragically one way or another, and I can’t really take fuck-that-guy pleasure in this anymore.
Once again, I am thankful for the monsters and their ability to turn my Mel Gibson-induced frown upside down.
My roommate last night said “I don’t understand why everyone is so upset with Mel Gibson, he just seems to be expressing an opinion.” My eyeballs fell out of my head.
Don’t worry, I’m moving out in a month.
And this is how you tell me?
It seemed more appropriate than a facebook status update.
I’m not on facebook. Don’t go in for any of that social networking noise.
see, i had no other options.
you can have the couches.
i’m keeping the cast iron pan.
mel gibson imploding —>
^gabe
Is that a still from a Linkin Park video?? Hahahaha.
I think that we need to go back in time, and on our way back from killing hitler, we need to punch mel gibson’s dad in the face. That guy was not good at raising humans.
It would probably be more productive to hit him in the ballsack, then.
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Naw, you’ve just never been exposed to raw, unadulterated crazypants before.
You mean “You Should Blow Me Pt 4″ has been released?
ENOUGH OF THIS! ENOUGH OF THIS! ENOUGH OF THIS!
Don’t worry, it’s racist but it’s not racist-racist.
Sorry.
This series of angry, racist, misogynistic rants just proves what I’ve said all along: Australian-American expatriates and Russian-American expatriates just don’t get along!
“You’re a pain in my ass! You’re a pain in my ass! STOP. BEING. THAT!”
It’s a pretty fair request.
Seriously, Mel. Now how am I supposed to watch Maverick without picturing you screaming to Jodie Foster that she should blow you because you deserve it and and that you’ll burn her horse and buggy down? And, more importantly, why has Maverick been on TV like EVERY DAY since this whole mess started? Because about a week and a half ago I would have watched it as it is a completely suitable film to watch when there is nothing else on!
Also, you’re an abusive nightmare who is clearly seriously ill. To be clear.
You guys, give my dad, Mel GIbson, a break.
(But seriously, he sounds just like my dad.)
Yeah, me, too. Perhaps we have the same dad.
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I have been reading Videogum since 2008. I just now created this account so I could downvote this comment.
What a coincidence, i’ve created accounts just to upvote comments! Mine mostly.
… or she knows that by staying calm on tape, she can maybe get some type of tangible benefit (like, say, a restraining order and/or full custody of their child) out of it. JUST SAYIN’.
And what, exactly, would be horrible about that, considering what good ole Mel would be teaching their poor daughter?
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I’m just hoping he will say something about gingers because, you know, that could turn out pretty awesome since there’s someone that just wouldn’t take that crap.
Ugh, see this is why I’d never subject a girl to something as degrading as a blowjob…it would make me like him.
I would also never subject a girl to something as degrading as watching one of his movies.