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Remember back in late April or early May when day after day they kept increasing the estimates of how much oil was spewing from the hole in the ocean, and at a certain point you were like, “Holy Shit, that is so much oil. It is basically the most oil,” and then right around the same time you realized that, you also realized that there was no real hope of anyone STOPPING the oil any time soon, and it started to seem like at a certain point in the not so distant future, the ocean itself would just be thick, black, waveless sludge covering the earth, dotted with dead animals. And then Cillian Murphy would have to fly the Icarus II into the sun, or whatever.
This Mel Gibson scandal is basically the “human” (more like human garbage, am I right?) version of the BP oil spill. WHEN WILL IT END? AND AT WHAT COST? The Mel Gibson scandal, like the BP oil spill, is a demonstration of mankind’s rampant greed and callous disregard. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that if Mel Gibson’s audio rants get into the loop current, we will see the near extinction of most shellfish. Just how much hatred is inside that thing? Unfortunately, the relief wells being dug into Mel Gibson’s heart won’t be done until August, and every attempt to cut off the broken riser pipe that is is face with a diamond-tipped saw has failed. WE’RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER DIAMOND-TIPPED SAW!
The third leaked tape of Mel Gibson being just one of the worst people you have ever heard in your entire life, after the jump:
I know God don’t make no junk, but he kind of made some junk. (Via Dlisted.)
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He does come from the land of Iocaine powder.
Poor everyone.
Transcription, please?
As if I haven’t had enough fun with Feminism in the “I Spit on Your Grave” post.
Wait, what? I really hope I am misinterpreting your comment, because it kindof seems like you are pro-this rant. Which, for the record, is not cool.
Looking at you, here, Whoopi.
Haha, no no. I don’t have speakers at work so I have no idea what he’s saying in this one.
Was hazarding a guess that it was terribly misogynistic, though.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-13-worst-mel-gibson-rant-quotes-presented-by/
“Google.com” — Steve Winwood
“Shut up, Steve Winwood!” — Me
This is a somewhat disingenuous display, friend. You get to enjoy the thrill of being me but with none of the stigma and loss of popularity. Move over, junior high school lunchroom, this here videogum commentator forum just got all “Lord of the Flies” and shit up in this piece, bro!
Concise.
I still don’t understand how this woman sounds so calm while being berated like this. It’s like all that plastic surgery went to her brain too
“you control me like marionette” 
oh lady, you make me sad
ALSO:
I think it’s fantastic she is able to stay relatively calm. I hope she is not defeated, but instead doing that thing where you lower your voice to make the angry person yell even louder.
no, i know. i guess it sounds to me like she is defeated and that gives me a case of the sads. i hope you’re right and she’s just standing strong
Someone made the comment that she’s probably used to this treatment by now, so he’s beaten her will to death.
Which is entirely frightening in itself.
She’s calm because she’s recording the call….
Possibly. There are a number of explanations.
Because she’s the one who knows it’s being taped.
Ha.
Isn’t she the one recording these? So if she knows they are being recorded, that’s serious motivation to stay calm so that it can be seen how nuts he is when no one is even being angry back at him.
Go Team!
I think she remained calm because she was recording the call. By staying level-headed, she was able to make Gibson look like the insane, manipulative prick he is.
I think she remained calm because she was trying to be like her favorite Star Trek Next Generation character, Guinan the stoic therapist magic space negress played by Whoopi Goldberg GET IT!???
Negress?
Look, I know Showtime Pizzas are ancient, but good grief. Even stationary robotic animals can pick up a book every now and again.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_Negro
This is the tape that brought Renee Russo into the mix, right? Can’t wait until the next one, where he is racist towards Chris Rock.
(Note: the Lethal Weapon jokes will continue until they cease to amuse me, or until we reach a 5th tape. Dear god, I hope we do not reach a 5th tape.)
In the fifth tape, Joe Pesci asks, “Do I get a gun?”
there won’t be a fifth tape, b/c after the 4th, the tape recorder got drunk, broke, and started blaming the jews for everything.
Oh, Explainer Guy, you minx.
I hate when they force in new characters at the end of a trilogy. It didn’t work when Coppola tried it and now we’re stuck with Andy Garcia.
did I do it right?
It worked for the ocean, it worked for the future ocean, it’ll work for Mel. Bring in the Ringer:
Waterworld 2: Oilworld
You’d think, as a psychic, she could have predicted that her own future comments would be considered entirely retarded.
YOU IN DANGER GURL
I have officially reached the point where I am too sad to try and make snarky comments.
Sounds like someone could use a little bit of this:
Is that the rare and majestic catgaroo?
YES. When I leave work I’m walking up and down the street finding dogs to pet.
teacherman, bless your cotton socks.
ALL OF THE UPVOTES!!! ALL OF THEM!
After listening to the first two, I sorta feel like I listened to everything that is wrong and horrible about mel gibson. I mean, it can’t get much worse than the first two, right? Right?
Agreed. At this point I’m just sort of like, “oh yeah, Mel Gibson saying horrible things to the mother of his children. Well, ya know, that’ll happen.”
“Well, it takes 2 to fight.” -Ghoopi Woldberg
Mel Gibson certainly does not know what Jesus would do.
http://youtubedoubler.com/IbGg
much better
ALEX MACK REFERENCE
heard my name?
Judges?
well done, hot dog.
visual pun!
I haven’t been in the comments lately, so when I saw this and the minithread above it took me like four seconds to understand. But it was amazing when I did. I think you could have watched it happen on my face. Which of course is what she (not Alex Mack! I don’t mean Alex Mack!) said.
So we all know he is an awful nightmare made of sexism, racism, violence, and crazy, so that’s out of the way. But, what the hell did she say about him possessing her liver and kidneys?!
Also, “you control me like marionette” is pretty good. She shouldn’t have to worry about where her next paycheck will come from, because she is going to be hired to play every female Russian role on radio, films, and the TV.
In Soviet Russia, Oksana control YOU like marionette. Okay, that didn’t work at all.
I dunno, I think you kind of had it there.
Oh man, WHAT A BONEHEAD!!!
Maybe this is a dumb question, but when did he lose his Australian accent? Did that contribute to the crazy?
he’s still got it.
Just goofing off guys, lighten up! Be more like Whoopers!
What a bonehead.
Maybe we can lock Mel Gibson in his cryogenic freezer from “Forever Young” and unfreeze him when they figure out how to cure awful.
Can we all just get together, have a few drinks and fight Mel Gibson? Can we just do that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWFp6sesrBg