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I wish there were a machine that could replace all of the blood in my nervous system with barbecue sauce. Admittedly, that would almost certainly kill me. If it wasn’t barbecue sauce’s inability to transport oxygen to my vital organs, then at the very least, I do not trust barbecue sauce as an effective immune system against disease. The T-cell counts in barbecue sauce are EMBARRASSINGLY LOW. But what a delicious death, am I right, you guys? Since the technology simply isn’t there yet for my blood to be replaced with sauce, I am going to have to do my best the old fashioned way this weekend: by eating all of the barbecue. It takes longer than the machine I just made up, but the result is the same. R.I.P. me. At least I died doing what I loved.
After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated Comment, the winner of this week’s World Cup Nose Pick Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice:
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
topknot | Jun 28th | Score:85 |
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Looks like this trailer is having troubles uploading pictures too. |
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| Posted in: Facebook: The Movie Trailer, You Guys | |||
| #4 |  |
Max the King of All Wild Things | Jun 25th | Score:92 |
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Yeah. Like the guy in the 700 dollar jeans is going to wait in line with the people who don’t make that in two weeks? C’MON! |
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| Posted in: In Defense Of Jason Bateman | |||
| #3 | Lauren Matson | Jun 25th | Score:97 | |
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I don’t know how to make photoshopped images/gifs of things, but if I did, right here I would put a gif of Jason Bateman with his head down while the Charlie Brown song played, and you would all give me about +7 upvotes for the Arrested Development reference. |
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| Posted in: In Defense Of Jason Bateman | |||
| #2 |  |
Bookface | Jul 1st | Score:115 |
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Forgetting Sarah Palin |
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| Posted in: Best New Party Game 27: Patriotic Movies | |||
| #1 |  |
duncan | Jun 25th | Score:163 |
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I hadn’t realised this before but ‘Wise Downvote’ is an anagram of ‘Steve Winwood’… |
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| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | |||
[Ed. note: Good week. Have a great weekend, everyone.]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 |  |
Gabe | Jun 29th | Score:-53 |
| If it makes you feel any better, I have actually read all of the Harry Potter books (as an adult!) but I will never read any of the Twilight books. Because give me a break. Incidentally, I really like books four and five, but then the series went down hill for me. I just stopped caring, and also JK Rowling’s attempts to make you feel like you were part of an entire universe, but a universe that still only consisted of, like, half a dozen characters, did not work for me (as an adult!). And the movies honestly stink. They are bad movies. Except for the third one, which was great. Alfonso Cuarón should have directed all of them. | |||
| Posted in: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1 Is Our Generation’s Bethenny Getting Married? | |||
[Ed. note: You guys mad!]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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Godsauce | Jun 29th | Score:82 |
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Hey! No fair! He used his hands! |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: German Soccer Manager Joachim Loew Picking His Nose During A Game | ||
[Ed. note: Congratulations, Godsauce. You earned it!]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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That One | Jul 1st | Score:34 | |
| Posted in: Someone Finally Beats The Crap Out Of The Maroon 5 Dude | |||
[Ed. note: This is just very well done. Solid craftsmanship. SEE YOU GUYS NEXT TUESDAY!]
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You just wait Gabe, today lowest voted comment, tomorrow we stage a coup!
Also, enjoy World America Day you crazy Americans. Imma sit here in BritainLand, sipping a cup of lorries and playing a light game of Whiff-Whaff with my butler Gerald. Tally-ho!
Pimm’s cup. You are sipping Pimm’s cup, crafted by your gentleman’s gentleman. Later, you’ll take supper at your club with your fellows. And I am dashed jealous.
I love Pimm’s cup! #yaycucumbers
Pimp’s cup?
With your butler Gerald, not to be confused with Gerald Butler. Right?
WHAT!?? Aw come on you guys my name isn’t an anagram for worst downvote or whatever. Geez…. I’m really upset about this…
…wait for it…
PSYCHE! Just kiddin’! See yall on tha flip side, brohams, brohettes and anonymous e-friends. Cue the kidd videogum music video sequence and tune out for the weekend…
It’s also an anagram for Wet Swoon Vid, but I’m not sure what that’s even supposed to mean…. :/
I don’t really know how else to say this besides
At first, I read this as a reply to MY comment and was a little confused (and hurt, so hurt).
Okay, so now I need to get the #4 spot. Everybody upvote this comment, but not too much.
Good Job, Godsauce! We were so close, but you won. I hope you’re doing well. What’s that? Why am I stroking this gun? What gun? I don’t know what you’re talking about! I resent the implication! Also, you should look over there RIGHT NOW!
You’re on fire, Godsauce!
Of all your Soccer Booger caption contributions the winner was the worst. But most of your others were great, so I guess there’s still some justice in these caption contests.
I cannot disagree with that assessment. Often my favorites are the least popular. In the BNPG, I’m pretty sure my favorite entry is still at zero. :-/
This is how Herman Melville felt. People won’t upvote your best comments until 30 years after you die.
Vuvuzela
>: (
racist
Whoops, I missed the upvote button and hit downvote by mistake. Still luv u, winwood <3<3
Care to guess how much that upsets me, “obryan”?
Care to guess exactly how much we all care about your personal opinions on EVERYTHING?
For the record, I have a picture of a Vuvuzela in my wallet
Off the record, I have an actual vuvuzela in my wallet. It’s about the size of a paperclip.
Your mother has a vuvuzela in her uterus
Steve, YOU have a vuvuzela in your uterus.
Thats silly. Only Na’vies have that.
i have a picture of a vuvuzela in your mother’s uterus in my wallet
Am I the only person here that can’t read the word “Vuvuzela” without having the term “Zuzu’s Petals” stuck in his head for the rest of the day?
Oh wow! I made it? I have never done this before and do not know what to do next. Maybe I’ll buy a ballpark!
Hooray Arrested Development references, I knew you were my only hope!
As Videogum’s unofficial archivist/social director, let me make my monthly reminder of ways to learn about and connect with the monster community. Due to the fact that Vgum’s commenting system will put a comment with more than two links in it into administrator approval limbo, I’m breaking this up with a few replies.
1. The Twitter List
http://twitter.com/werttrew/videogum
Basically, this is a Twitter list following Videogum’s commenters, contributers, and a few celebrity Twitter accounts pertinent to Videogum. If you want to follow the list, all you need is a Twitter account and you can click on the follow option on the above link.
If you want to be added to the list, contact me via Twitter (@werttrew) or email me at werttrew99 at yahoo.com. There’s no criteria or requirements for being added, but let me request that you follow @Videogum on Twitter and that you give me your Videogum commenter name for my master list that matches commenter names with Twitter accounts: http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/232059116/videogum-monsters-list (If there are errors with that list, please let me know.)
2. The archives on http://werttrew.tumblr.com/ I’ve got on there:
Monsters’ Ball Stats
Inside Jokes List (updated for this month!)
List of all films in the Worst Movie of All Time feature
The Complete List of the Worst Movies of All Time
A Guide for Posting Images in the Comments
And new this month is a Videogum Monsters’ tumblrs and blogs:
http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/731411103/videogum-tumblrs-and-blogs
Have an addition? Please email (werttrew99 at yahoo.com) or @werttrew on Twitter with your name on Videogum, the link, and a one-to-five word description.
werrtrew….i mean this in the nicest way possible. you remind me of jay baruschel’s character in Almost Famous.
it is a compliment.
Wertrew, I appreciate the validation and attention you have bestowed upon me in the inside jokes section but I have to correct you, the actual lines are “Plagiarist commentator” “That’s not your commentator meme”, “PSYCHE! My bad just kiddin’!” and “I don’t give a care”. You can either update the copy you wrote in this special web section or not, doesn’t really matter. What matters in this short life is being happy about the friends and family that you have and the time that you spend with them.
corrected!
THANKS FOR THE LIFE LESSON, WE ALL REALLY NEEDED THAT.
You are worse than Emily in the Unwarranted Self-Importance Department. In fact, she is your girlfriend, and you go to protests on the weekends with signs that say “PSYCHE! We ain’t care. All that matters in this life is being happy. War is over. If you want it. Namaste.” Because you are Partners in Worst.
Prediction for next week’s Balls: Steve Winwood will A) Get Lowest vote or B) Someone talking about Steve will make the Top Five. Either way I’m happy.
Also I present another episode of Steve Winwood Classics:
Impressive… MOST impressive!
“Chris Trash! What have you done to my film!”
~ George Lucas
“I have altered your screencap. Pray I don’t alter it further”
~ Chris Trash
HA ha ha ha, good one, Capu Flaps
I love this so very much. You have made my Millenium Falcon. Feel free to do more! You have at least two Star Wars freaks that get it!!!
What’s a Cugnt?
Norwegian vagina. #rejectedtonightshowjokes
The Chatroom. http://videogum.com/chat/
The chat is always “open,” but there aren’t always necessarily people hanging out. It seems like most afternoons, however, you’ll find a small group. Friday afternoons (3:30ish EST) tends to be the designated “chat time” of the week.
And hey, we’re in there right now! Eat your lunch from your desk and join us!
4. Last.fm. We have Videogum monsters in a last.fm group started by Lolwut // Mjh110. http://www.last.fm/group/Videogum+Monsters Listen to the hip music enjoyed by your fellow monsters! I pretty much stick to 60’s garage rock but you can listen to your fancy new Radioshead or whatnot.
5. I had a lot of fun meeting some fellow monsters this summer in Chicago. If you’d like to see about arranging a Monster Mash in your neck of the woods, I suggest posting something on the Dave Delahaye Facebook group page: http://www.facebook.com/werttrew?v=wall&story_fbid=133989133292133#!/group.php?gid=105547626135055&ref=ts
And that’s it! Sorry for the multiple posts.
I am completely in love with that hamburger .gif. I just wish she would take a bigger bite.*
*Not in a sexual way, weirdos. It’s just a really teeny tiny baby bite and it’s weird and what’s even the point.
ITS A PARTY IN THERE!
who’s the cheeseburger girl in that animated gif? she’s pretty
That’s just a waste of hamburger. Bitch, gimme that hamburger!
If it’s any consolation, I don’t think she actually ever takes a bite out of it.
It would be more of a consolation if she could take a bite out of ME
so i topped out at 26 upvotes on one comment…
1. i am not goo at this
2. most people are better at this then me
3. duh
i’ll just leave the light on then.
ps. gabe is proud to announce (via me) that he will be attending the gathering this year. because, come on gabe!
Man, this is some garbage! I long ago gave up on having highest-rated comment, but I figured my anti-Gabe, pro-BP comment would have gotten me recognized as the LOWEST. But nope! I’m not even the best at being the worst! Not cool!
Here’s a photo of me, with user “Mufasa”, right before he STOLE MY LIFE (No, I’m still not over it, YOU GET OVER IT)
Also, I was on holidays this week and I just got back and you guys were on fire this week, spending the night catching up on the week’s videogumming!!
I have a feeling Impostor Mufasa is becoming the next Amelia-for-WMOAT and I think this is great!
Said it last Friday and I’ll say it again: fight, fight, fight!
I like his hair/beard/shirt/being indian combination.
God, they’re pretty.
Total disclosure: I hate Harry Potter as much as I hate Twilight, but I downvoted Gabe once I saw all the downvotes just to see if he would take the lowest rated ball.
HA HA HA! I know right, Gabe’s now a troll on his own blog! LOL!
Tables turned
Lessons learned
You get BURNED
For playing by the rules
Yeah, I’m pretty sure Gabe is doing just fine, but I appreciate your enthusiasm, broham.
No I’m pretty sure you’re wrong and Gabe is pretty upset about it because nothing in this life is more important…
…wait for it….
…wwwwwwwwwwwwwait for it….
I want to post a picture of a penis here so bad.
Gaysauce.
What did you say about Harry Potter? I think I misunderstood
This picture raises so many questions…
I know someone with the answers. Well not “know” he’s a busy dude
That just raises further questions!
Is J. Christo riding that dinosaur side-saddle?
I think this is an exhibit from the Creation Museum in Kentucky, right?
this picture answer so many questions.
I never thought it was as bad as Twilight, but the series was just spinning its wheels after the second (and best) book. Gabe is right about the movies, all but one were awful.
happy 4th
That’s pretty.
I almost replied to this with the gif of the ginger kid blowing up in MIA’s “Born Free” video to make some stupid social commentary, but I abstained, just for you guys. Happy 4th.
I thank you for the abstention. There’s enough ugly in the world without dynamiting children to pop songs.
Born Free is a pop song?
I better head over to the 7-11 and pick myself up a pair of 99¢ FIreworks 3-D glasses so I can appreciate this gif.
Have a ball this weekend, you guys!
Good Work Everyone!
Let’s All Have a Relaxing 4th, and May No One Blow Off any Extremities nor Burn Down their Homes!
Agree! I don’t quite know what a Sparkler Bomb is, but PLAY SAFE WITH FIREWORKS NERDS!!*
http://www.examiner.net/newsnow/x41610609/Blue-Springs-man-loses-eye-hand-in-fireworks-accident
Have a great Weekend Monsters!
*i realize the article is kind of how-to for sparkler bombs…and this is the internet for crap’s sake so you can google bombs for morons or what have you, but for the love of America Make Good Choices! ♥ – Your Mom.
My first Monsters’ Ball! Thank you everyone! And I have a 3-day weekend to celebrate!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Thanks Steve! Have a great weekend!
Aww, come on, Steve. I get that you’re acrimonious, but…I mean c’mon, dude.
Topknot. You have my favorite avatar. Sometimes I lie awake at night trying to figure out what is stuck in that poor man/woman’s head.
Anyway. High-five.
I’m convinced it’s a tiny subway car. Don’t ask why or how it got there. The universe isn’t ready for the answer.
Thanks Zayin_451! I could tell you what my avatar’s from, but I don’t want to ruin your fun.
I don’t want to spoil it either but I really really love that movie.
Happy 4th of July, you American Monsters!
Freedom isn’t free.
It costs a buck o’five.
ROCK, FLAG, AND EAGLE, YOU GUYS.
I’m going to rise up
Gonna kick a little ass
Gonna kick some ass in the USA
Gonna climb a mountain
Gonna sew a flag
Gonna fly on an eagle
I’m gonna kick some butt
I’m gonna drive a big truck
I’m gonna rule this world
I’m gonna kick some ass
I’m gonna rise up
I’m gonna kick a little ass
ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!!!
!!!!
I used to enjoy reading these comment portions of Videogum. They were amusing and clever. But lately, it seems everyone is just talking about this Steve Winwood person, which I don’t really get…or care about.
You have out Winwooded Winwood, good sir. Now, I propose a backyard fight to see who cares about things the least.
THIS Comment Deserves All of the Upvotes Forever.
Should have gone to Specsavers.
Holy Christ, I give, I give!
OMG you guys, how did this happen? I love how you only have to explain gifs and they still get monster upvotes around here. That’s why this place is the best.
Here I would put a gif of fireworks, and it would say: “You like me! You really like me!” (Sally Field references – still cool, right?)
she’s like “i live alone”
YIKES
Now that’s what I call Spirit Fingers!
(pause for laughs)
HA!
My real cat jumped infront of this gif and I was so mad. Box-cat is who I truly love.
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