Photos
Over the weekend, the United States was eliminated from the World Cup. Oh boo hoo. They are not very good at soccer! That game against Ghana? That was a bad game. Even if they had managed to win, they would have gotten crushed by, I don’t know, any of the other teams? Ghana wasn’t very good either, so stop smirking Ghana. But now that we are in the quarter-finals it does seem like things are getting more interesting. That penalty shoot-out between Japan and Paraguay this morning? What an exciting penalty shoot out! Speaking of penalties, here is footage (via Dlisted) of German soccer manager Joachim Loew picking his nose and then eating it while Germany demolished England 4-1 on Sunday. VERY SUPERIOR RACE OF YOU, JOACHIM LOEW. Eye on the prize, I’m sure.
So: caption it! WHAT IS HIS BOOGERS THINKING? (Sorry.) Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!
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Perhaps he was digging for GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!
No fair! The ref only awarded him an indirect pick.
Goooooaaaal.
A-haaaa.
The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding in this case is a bogey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZhysyhUL9k
At least no Americans will see this.
Not to be toppled as the most disgusting thing at the world cup, vuvuzelas will now be powered purely by flatulence.
WHY ARE YOU EATING YOUR BOOGERS. TELL US WHY YOU’RE EATING YOUR BOOGERS.
WHY WHY WHY ARE YOU EATING YOUR BOOGERS??!!
TELL US THE REASON! WHY. WHY. WHY???
TELL US THE REASON! TELL US THE REASON! WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING PEOPLE THROUGH THIS?
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING US THROUGH THIS!
WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT! ON WHAT RIGHT DO YOU GROSS OUT THE POPULATION.
WHY. WHY. WHY. TELL US WHY. TELL US WHY.
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING US THROUGH THIS.
WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT. WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT. WHO ARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO US?
DOESN’T ANYBODY ELSE CARE?
IT’S JUST A SPECTACLE TO YOU??
IT’S JUST A SPECTACLE TO YOU??
IT’S JUST FUNNY!
HAHAHAHAHA.
LET THE POLICE CUT OFF MY BALLS. I DON’T MIND BECAUSE IT’S THE COPS AND THEY’RE ALWAYS RIGHT.
–Sincerely, England Fans
In England, they call boogers lo-(gunshot)
In Lorryland, they call boogers “Englands”.
fake and gay
@EletricKoala
Let it never be said that the English media doesn’t know how to keep things in perspective:
ENGLAND MAD.
If I do this slowly and carefully, no one in the world will notice.
In Germany, they call eating boogers “being normal.”
4-1? The German people have definitely picked a winner.
Props to Loew’s left hand for the assist on that penalty snot.
“At least I’m not murdering six million jews.” – Joachim Loew
If I hadn’t watched this match, this comment would have been the worst thing I’d seen all week.
If only I could upvote some more to counter everyone who can’t seem to appreciate a good holocaust joke.
As a Big Fat Jew, let me be the first to say that I don’t find this offensive, and I found Lady Gaga’s ‘Alejandro’ video immensely offensive.
No damage done.
Thing is, it isn’t really so much a holocaust joke as a “Hey it’s a German, so let’s associate him with Nazi atrocities” joke. Offensive in a whole different way, and pretty fucking tired.
I’m German, and even I associate Germans with the Holocaust.
Yeah, maybe a little “tired”, but this happened only about 65 years ago. And by Germans. And it was way fucking gross. So nobody’s gonna forget it, and if making jokes (even bad ones) makes it easier to deal with then so be it.
Honestly It’s not that I’m all that offended. I mean, I generally agree with what you’re getting at with making it easier to deal with, and god knows how many jokes I’ve made with friends that cross the line way way further than Steve’s. I’m not all that PC about these kinds of things.
I think more what I’m getting at is how people/this blog reacts to certain cheap jokes. I mean, Gabe makes an aside about SUPERIOR RACE, and ha it’s funny because the dude’s German. But if that video is a random Arab guy doing something embarrassing, do you think he makes a joke about KILLING THE INFIDELS? No, because he would sound like a backward redneck for associating an entire group of people with the terrible acts of a people of the same descent. Same for a joke tying a random modern Japanese guy to Pearl Harbor.
I get that most German = Nazi jokes don’t have much real hate behind them like, say, an anti-semetic joke might. It’s mostly meant to be innocuous in the same way a French joke about losing wars is. But there certainly was plenty of anti-German backlash in the states for a long time that fell back on German-americans, and I can’t help but feel there is some kind of double standard here. And so I guess I’m just wondering where people draw a line in their minds?
tl; dr
I don’t know. Nobody gets really up in arms when someone makes a joke about the French losing wars or the Finnish sitting in saunas with their cats, I guess because they’re white and therefore the joke is not racist? I really don’t know, but I guess that’s the line of thinking.
And, nyeh, I don’t have tons of sympathy for Germans [though I am one. My last name is a mile long and wholly unpronouncable]. It isn’t fair that people who were born after that whole era and have nothing to do with it get tarred with the same brush as the Nazis. But I think the important thing is that, while Germans as a whole are very apologetic about the whole Holocaust thing, and young Germans feel really bad about what their grandparents did, anti-Semitism is still alive and well.
Life! It’s complicated.
“I really miss my boyfriend. I like to pick my nose and fantasize about him. His name is Steve Winwood.”
-Joachim Loew
That’s Your Booger: Steve Winwood.
NOOOOOOO!!!!
Snot starts with an S.
the snot-berries taste like snot-berries!
My name is Bailey Muttenheimer and I approve this comment.
(aims gun at laptop)
That was close! His assistant coach almost caught him. Good thing no one else was watching.
his assistants name is Hanz Deiter Flick… its too bad he wasn’t picking his nose because his name is a booger-joke-goldmine (goldmine… hehe)
In soccer, the people own the means of booger production. This guy is clearly corrupt.
This is why FIFA doesn’t believe in instant replay.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose… actually if you’re going to eat your boogers, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about picking friends.
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You’re dead weight, Steve.
TEN upvotes is all? I think you people underestimate how funny this.
Please stop.
BOOOOOOO-urns
get off the stage!
How do you make Steve Winwood dance? Put a liitle boogie in him!
the only time i heard this was when i watched bicentennial man. not the best way to get upvote round these parts
One of them Mexicos down in Germany uses his God-given arms to pick his nose.
“This is gross, and i shouldn’t be watching this, but I’m going to watch it again and again until I can come up with a clever enough caption.” – me
Hey! No fair! He used his hands!
Dang, ya beat me to it.
Snot Slut of the Day
Michael K missed a trick there.
Bundesliga? More like Boogersliga, amirite?
Oof. At least 5:59 was money.
“yum.”
“All these McDonalds advertisements are making me really hungry for nuggets…”
-that guy
Loew scores the golden goal for Team Mucus.
If digs much deeper, that yellow card could become a red card.
as my laugh just became a barf (and quickly went back to a laugh.)
Godsauce,
This comment is equal parts disgusting AND hilarious…really my favorite kind of comedy. Well done.
“She’s pretty”
- Loew about the thing he pulled out of his nose.
“We got it. That’s a wrap.”- Director of “World Cup 2010 Blooper DVD”
I like how he fiddles around with it before putting it in his mouth. Guess his mom never told to not play with his food.
I think he was trying to be subtle. lolz
“This seems like the most productive thing I could possibly be doing right now.”
I’m surprised he didn’t go for a penalty flick.
“It snot fair.”- A booger.
Chef Joachim Loew was spotted testing out the new flavor for his Boogergarten Haus.
Wish I had a nice sausage to eat instead.
That booger was sent off on grounds of obstruction.
*frantically googling more soccer terminology*
“What? No Kleenex for me, I gotta cut down on my expenses after that truck of money I had to pay to the referee for invalidating Lampard’s legitimate goal.”
“Schwarze Milch der Frühe wir trinken dich nachts
wir trinken dich mittags der Tod ist ein Meister aus Deutschland
wir trinken dich abends und morgens wir trinken und trinken
der Tod ist ein Meister aus Deutschland sein Auge ist blau”
-Das Booger
Now take me to jail.
“I can’t wait to see Twilight this weekend.”
Sometimes, when you’re so into the moment, you have know idea what your body is doing.
This is not one of those moments.
“I can feel the spirit of the nations
and I can feel my wings ridin’ the winds, yeah
I see the finish line just up ahead
and I can pick my nose and eat it
and thats the sign of a victory” – Joachim Loew
Booger was mortified to discover that his mother’s tales of his fellow kin being consumed as the prized delicacy Schnauzersnotzel was not, in fact, simply a story told to make him behave.
South Africa is no stranger to Europeans conducting exploratory mining expeditions.
I barfed much less at this one, congrats!
Wait until you see how stupid gamers will look playing the mini-game of this when playing EA Sports’ FIFA 2011 on their Xbox Kinect.
This is not a caption, but a story I felt compelled to tell when I saw this story today. I teach high school, and this year I had a 16-year-old student who picked his nose and ate it. When I asked him to stop, he started trying to sneak and do it. This went on all year long. He sat on the front row. He was a very nice young man, but holy God was I glad to see him walk out the door on the last day. There is only so much of that a person can watch.
Teachers: making a difference, and watching you eat your boogers.
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nbd; fu
You totally fucking read that.
Perhaps this will distract from these ridiculous v-necks my coaching staff and I are wearing…
This might seem like a big deal, but it’s snot.
“More like PICK bin ein Berliner.” – JFK, surfing blogs in heaven
It’s attributing this quote that really makes it awesome.
I’m so glad you posted that! The thought had crossed my mind but I couldn’t figure out a way to run with it. Chareth Cutestory FTW!
No no, you’re thinking of the ‘Blue’ Man group. I made the same mistake. This is the ‘Ew’ Man group.
Soccer is boring.
-booger
It’s a shame because this guy is genuinely the best dressed coach at the finals. I love how him and his #2 wear the same outfit!
- what do you you mean you don’t remember me? It’s Joachim Loew from 3rd grade. Ok. How about now?
- oh yeah. the booger eater.
He was going for the left nostril, but he was offsides.
Picking and rolling – OK, but the surreptitious swallowing really crossed the line – JUST LIKE LAMPARD’S SHOT! – AMIRITE GUYS?.. GUYS ?
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That’s a TERRIBLE caption entry!
hey, don’t shoot the messenger. some of them are just so “look at me! hey! no over here!”
and I did apparently make a typo. I meant to say I don’t peruse the caption threads OFTEN. not that it makes any difference.
Joachim Loew: Putting the Germ in Germany since 1960.
Before you downvote willy nilly, keep in mind I googled him to find out what year he was born so you know…yeah.
Assistant Coach: I can tell you are picking your nose
Joachim Loew: Meh (eats booger)
NOM NOM NOM
hey!!!!!
For someone obsessed with how long his players hold onto the ball before passing, this guy hangs onto his boogie for a good 3 seconds…
I think he is trying to intimate us, guys.
I didn’t realize Scott Baio was a soccer coach!
Deutschland booger alles.
Handball.
please go somewhere else with your “where fat people go to meet” site
No German guy would ever say this. Get real, bro.
Loew intercepts it deep inside his own nostril, rolls it from one side to the other – AND IT’S STRAIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE MOUTH !!! – PICK THAT ONE OUT !!
“Put it on the pizza!”
BOOGER: Finger incoming! Finger incoming!…It’s for me! He’s picked me! I’m going on. I’m going to get to play in Germany’s most memorable world cup game since 1990! International glory!…
Wait, oh a kiss for luck, I’m sure that’s it. Thanks Joachim, love you toooAAAAAAAAAAAGH. He’s FUCKING CHEWING MEEEEEE!!!!!
Pick one for the Gipper
How about six? Six is good… You got a problem with six?
He was doing it for good luck, you guys. It worked for Argentina!
If I were one of those people who did nothing but post reactions to Youtube videos all day/night this would be mine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMf40ORFE8