Photos
I’m not sure if you guys have noticed this or not, but we have entered a sad new phase of the BP oil spill, which is the phase where there is literally nothing much to say about it and yet it continues. Like, it has been bumped from the front page of the New York Times every day this week, and I am not saying that General Stanley McChrystal giving an untoward interview to Rolling Stone isn’t important news (also news: Rolling Stone still relevant?), or that the House of Representatives passage of a finance overhaul package does not merit some discussion. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that hole in the ocean is still there, and that gusher of black death continues to gush, and there’s just nothing to report. No progress. No end. A quietly accepted fact at this point. Like I said: sad new phase. And yet here we are on a bright sunny day, somehow feeling like making it all the way to another Friday is an actual accomplishment. The world is a big place, it’s hard to wrap your mind all around it at once.
After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated Comment, the winner of this week’s Burger King Twilight Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
teacherman | Jun 22nd | Score:110 |
|
“Girls, I am the same ACTUAL age of Edward and you are the same age as Bella. Now how do you like your precious pedophiliac vampire trash?” |
|||
| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Burger King Twilight Campaign | |||
| #4 |  |
ghostdad | Jun 18th | Score:110 |
|
I desperately care about upvotes and have never been in any monster’s balls (ATGSTTS). I’m like the opposite of Steve Winwood. A “Losewood”, if you will. |
|||
| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | |||
| #3 |  |
Kateness | Jun 23rd | Score:138 |
|
What’s that one where Jennifer Anniston gives an incredible comedic performance? |
|||
| Posted in: Best New Party Game 26: Do You Mean The One Where… | |||
| #2 |  |
shellbomber | Jun 18th | Score:142 |
|
I can’t wait for the new Steve Winwood album. These songs are already classics! She’s Pretty Psyche Lost Sucks Lowest Rated Comment Plagarist Commenter I Don’t Even Care You Can’t Spell If That’s Your Name Noooooooo! Godsauce (Is the Worst) feat. Gabe Trollin’ That’s Not Your Meme Dated References Give My Age Away (bonus track) |
|||
| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | |||
| #1 |  |
wrj713 | Jun 23rd | Score:165 |
|
What’s that one movie when Harrison Ford has to save his family? |
|||
| Posted in: Best New Party Game 26: Do You Mean The One Where… | |||
Ed. note: Seriously, does anyone own or manage a pizza parlor in San Diego?
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
 |
MikeyObviously | Jun 18th | Score:-57 |
| Upon reviewing your comments I have determined that you are most likely an American. Therefore, I have logged in specifically to downvote you because Americans calling soccer “football” is overt and pretentious. | ||
| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | ||
Ed. note: Whoa! Relax, MikeyObviously! I agree with you that Americans calling soccer “football” is kind of pretentious (not sure what you mean by overt, though) but also who cares?! It’s not that big of a deal, ESPECIALLY not in a comment on a blog post. AND, thee fact that you seem to have done some research on the commenter’s past comments to determine whether or not they were American and therefore whether or not they being pretentious suggests that there was nothing actually pretentious about the comment itself, so now you are the one who is actually being pretentious (and overt? Huh?).
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
 |
torgothewhite | Jun 22nd | Score:134 |
|
In my day, we weren’t Team Edward or Team Jacob! We were Team White or Team Black and we liked it! |
||
| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Burger King Twilight Campaign | ||
Ed. note: Congratulations, torgothewhite. You earned it!
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
 |
Godsauce | Jun 21st | Score:82 | |
| Posted in: This Is Your Pizza | |||
Ed. note: “This is your jail” is really funny.
 |
 |
Make up editor’s choice! Somebody’s feeling guilty…
I honestly thought that this would never happen.
I can’t believe there is no VMC for Grown Ups this week! What am I going to do this week (from the front of the twilight line)?
Also pretentious: Mark E. Smith avatars.
Hey don’t hate on The Fall!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!? I didn’t win a nomination for most important comment of the week!?? Aw man come on guys that’s not fair! That totally ruins my week completely because my entire life revolves around caring about how anonymous commentators get themselves “ranked” on a pop culture goofball blog and I have absolutely nothing else to look forward to in my life ….
PSYCHE! MY BAD JUST KIDDIN’! You people are crazy how you obsess over these things. Frankly, I prefer to just live in the moment. Enjoy the jokey commentating and seize the humor and joy out of those moments while you have them in this life. Like Bob Dylan once famously wrote, “You shouldn’t let other people get your kicks for you.” He was right. I think that this week everyone wins the coveted “Steve Winwood’s Choice of Best Comment” award because you all crack me up so much. You are all my precious. Have a delightful weekend and I’ll see all yall on tha FLIP SIDE… where I will make you my musical slaves… FOREVAHHH!!!!!!!!
Fake and gay
I hadn’t realised this before but ‘Wise Downvote’ is an anagram of ‘Steve Winwood’…
I just spent a whole minute confirming that what you say is true.
HAT TIP.
Second that. More upvotes please!
Now that’s what I call great detective work!
I miss LOST =(
Speaking of LOST, I was watching some Sarah Silverman Program season 2 episodes on Netflix, where Laura and Jay sit down for brunch and explain to Sarah that they’re late because Jay had to stop a bank robbery and then everyone went to the hospital to have their bullet wounds and injuries taken care of by Laura.
Sarah goes on to try and say her life is exciting too, they tell her she doesn’t need to compete- they happen to have exciting jobs is all. Sarah says exciting stuff happens to people all the time and that jobs have nothing to do with it, just look at LOST!
Laura and Jay are quick to point out that Jack is a doctor and Ana Lucia is a cop. Sarah storms off in a huff. I laughed because I thoroughly enjoyed that nod to the show.
How come even when I kind of agree with you, you’re still such a dick?
You…you wrote a paragraph, just so you could say “PSYCHE! MY BAD JUST KIDDIN’”?
You got me into the Monster’s Ball this week, Steve. Thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go live in the moment while not letting anyone get my kicks for… PSYCHE! I’m going to obsess over being ranked on a goofball pop culture blog!
It’s like Bob Dylan used to say, “Shhhh, Steve Winwood.”
i am super sad that i did not get into the monster’s ball this week, as i am definitely the most hilarious person ever made. ever.
PSYCHE! MY BAD JUST KIDDING! AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?!
That’s why you’re here, posting the fourth comment minutes after Monsters’ Ball goes live. Because you don’t care.
That one week of Steve Winwood being nice is gone, it must be the lack of Kate in his life now that Lost is over.
apropos of not much of this i always thought that psych was spelled psych and that psyche was, you know, like the id, the ego and the super-ego. maybe it’s a regional thing? if so i’m gonna have to take back all the times i made fun of the guy i know who got a homemade tattoo that said “psyche” just so he could say, “oh my god, i have that same tattoo,” and then lift up his shirt to reveal the joke. i always thought the joke was on him…
If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure when we were kids we spelled it, “sike”
…I want to take this time to inform you guys that I was the runner-up in a K-8 spelling bee.
I still spell it “sike.” I kind of just think it’s funnier that way.
You know what, I got into Monster’s Ball and I am super fucking psyched about it, and I don’t care what that says about me. Also, don’t you comment, like, the most of anyone?
OH MY GOD I just realized that you somehow remind me of the “Call Me Old Fashioned” guy from the state. Naturally, everyone needed to find that out.
Call me old fashioned, but I believe trolls should stay under bridges.
Steve, when everyone can see through your thinly veiled, sweaty, nauseous pleas for attention and acceptance on every post, in every comment, all the time, it’s time to put down the keyboard and walk away.
Walk. Away. Steve Winwood.
My drama teacher says people/nightmares like you are broken inside.
Steve, I think you’re my favorite regular commenter. <3
tl;dr
i confess i’ve been on a vgum hiatus so this is new to me but “GODSAUCE (IS THE WORST) FEAT. GABE” is lolololz to the most extreme degree. infinity lols? amazing.
Who cares?? San Diego Comic-Con pizza party! Pfft. Don’t make me laugh. Hahahaha. Blog readers/tweens/pogs these days don’t care about comics or movies or movies based on comics. It’s about OLD SCHOOL. It’s RETRO, yo. It’s about BRANSON, MISSOURI. You’ve got your Andy Williams Moon River Theater and your Yakov Smirnoff Russian Circus plus Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede (she’s never there though) and your Liverpool Legends, a Beatles tribute band! Bet they don’t have one of those in CaliBORINGia!
Come to southwest Missouri and you and me and Max Silvestri can HANG at the trendy local pizza joint (Domino’s) and get the SCOOP in Branson on what’s HIP and HOT.
This reads like one of those interracial dating posts
I’m gonna stay here in Georgia and visit the swimmin’ hole!
What color do tanned/sunburn smurfs turn?
Aloe helps
Asked and answered.
Enough!
Purple?
nurple!
Fo reals? I want a San Diego Comic-Con pizza party? My hopes are up!
The next Videogum Pizza Party needs to be at a Showbiz Pizza. Any Monsters in Phenix City, Alabama? Or Lebanon?
Showbiz Pizza? You know this guy will be there:
And this guy.
HAHAHAHAHA…well played.
At what point does someone post an adorable animal picture?
Its even better when you play to music
Apparently you and I are thinking in parallel. I just wish I’d checked to see if anyone else had posted this same random picture before I did.
#RforRetirementGum is going well, obvs
Lets say SforSemiRetirementGum
I want to always be looking at this.
Hellooooo there Mr. Bear, you come here often?
So wait, you’re saying that even with Emily’s song, the oil is still spilling? Well, I’m out of ideas then.
You upvote me, you REALLY upvote me!
Thanks, you guys.
So good.
Also, whenever I read your username I get “Son Of A Preacherman” stuck in my head, because my brain is a bad DJ.
Hay guyz.
ribbited for her pleasure…
Am-phebian you need to grab a hold of my (tad)pole. (sexually harassing someone via the voice of a internet pic of a frog – new low).
So I learnt earlier today that there is another commenter here by the name of Mufasa (even though I was TOTALLY here first) who even has a similar picture to mine and a penchant for witty remarks. As you can imagine, I was irked. IRKED.
I would like to take this opportunity publicly via the Monster’s Ball to challenge this imposter to a martial arts showdown challenge spectacular, a la Jet Li’s The One, and have the loser shackled and placed into an Iron Mask, doomed forever more to mumble witty comments about pop culture, webjunk and Topher Grace where none may hear, forevermore. DOOMED.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE, I’M-A COMIN’ FOR YA MUFASA.
GAMEFACE!!!!
Fight, Fight, Fight!
OMG this is so awesome, too!
…….me, in one weeks time
So irked!
AWESOME
Don’t forget to watch Grown Ups this weekend, it’s gotten great reviews from the people who matter
“This movie was so good I had to retire from acting since anything I have done or will ever do pales in comparison” Amanda Bynes
“Some dude kidnapped me then got me tickets to see this movie, it was good even though there were black people in it” Jeremy London
“Maria Bello and Salma Hayek are pretty. Also Rob Schneider is hilarious, psyche just kidding” Steve Winwood
“I want to watch this movie first!” Jason Bateman
I just finished The Wire. My life is complete.
But probably a little bit empty too, am I right? I had serious Wire withdrawals for about a month and everything on TV seemed so shitty and Wire-less.
Well, I would love it if there was more, but I’m really REALLY satisfied with the way it wrapped up. Seeing how types of characters introduced from the very beginning grew and matured and newer characters fell into and/or avoided the pitfalls that gave birth to their predecessors, it was just tops.
I agree that all the other shows are “Wire-less” now. I’m not saying I’m watching bad shows, but now when I get the next disc of Mad Men in, or I watch Friday Night Lights like I did tonight, I cathc myself thinking, “What’s that Tim Riggins? You can’t get a job and need money? Well maybe if you were Omar you wouldn’t be having these problems. LEARN THE GAME, dumb-ass.”
It’s like having the best relationship of your life that unfortunately ended but was on good terms, and now I can’t help but compare my newer, less-interesting relationship to that previous benchmark.
The Shield comes close though, but I’m glad I watched all of it before I started The Wire. Back to back was the way to go.
Unrelated. Is Cyrus just like Man of the House 2: Book of Men of Houses? (Or 2 Man 2 House or whatever).
Also unrelated. I think Marisa Tomei deserves an Oscar for continuing to willingly play the love interest of THE MOST heinously unattractive men in Hollywood
That was a pretty accurate comment about Marisa Tomei. Going all the way back to My Cousin Vinny. I don’t even want to think about what they showed her doing with Philip Seymour Hoffman in the opening scene to Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead.
And when does she get to play opposite Matt Dillon? When he’s playing Charles Bukowski (Chinaski).
Get a room, you two!
VICTORY IS MINE First, I would like to thank my brain for being so smart and funny. I would next like to thank Gabe for his awesome writing on my favorite website, and lastly I would like to thank the awesome monsters who voted me to the top.
P.S. Shout out to Steve Winwood keep being awesome, some people should really just relax!
torgothewhite – you’re my new fave!
I am really wishing I knew what ATGSTTS stands for.
As The Girl Said To The Soldier.
You should check out the TWSS Archives (that’s what she said).
That’s very polite to provide the link there, Dish. What a gentleman.
and Traffic!
Gabe. Let’s get serious. I think you need to do a Teen Korner or like a WTVSOAT feature on ABC Family’s Pretty Little Liars. I *happened* to catch episode 3 the other day…on Hulu…well anyways, it actually contains lines such as “Yeah, I’m checking my KIN.” and “We were never close, but…now it’s like The Hurt Locker.” and “Heads up BFFs. It’s open season on liars and I’m going hunting…”
Wait, “We were never close, but…now it’s like The Hurt Locker”?!?! What does that even MEAN?!?! No, like, I’m seriously asking what that’s supposed to mean. It’s like a Buddhist Koan or something!
Well, I’m kind of sad that Winwood appreciation week is over, but I will always love you Stevie. Anyways, i am proud to present “Winwood Movie Classics”:
Dr. Zaius: This is the planet of the apes.
Steve Winwood: I don’t give a care.
Dr. Zaius: PSYCHE!!!! JUST KIDDIN’!!!! It’s Earth, broham.
Steve Winwood: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you look at that? Sympathy votes work. What a time to be alive!
Is it something I said?
What is so pretentious about Americans calling Soccer “Football”. The rest of the world does. The rest of the world is also where “Football” is popular. The term “Soccer” is a slang nickname for the sport that originated in the UK anyway.