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“Comedy is something that I’m definitely looking to get into. I had a little taste of it and I do intend on going to classes for it because I think it’s a different muscle, and it’s hard to find female comedians. … You’ve got, like, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz and that’s it.” —Twilight‘s Ashley Greene (Fandango via Vulture)
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I can school her in the comedic arts if she wants to hook up with me on a date. She’s pretty.
Here we go, back to hating Steve Winwood for me.
???????????????????????????
Wait, when did we stop?
Feelings, you guys. Steve Winwood has them.
I don’t know why she think she needs classes. She obviously already has comedy down pat.
“You’ve got, like, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz and that’s it.”
That right there is how you GIFBAAAAAALL!
Oh so the humor in Twilight is intentional
Can she fill post-Amanda Bynes’ retirement void?
Oh! I was so confused there for a second! I got Ashley Greene and Anna Kendrick confused, and was very sad because Anna Kendrick is so great. Phew! That was close.
Anna Kendrick is a great comedic actress and basically the only shining beacon of light in the entire Twilight cast. I hope Anna punches Ashley Greene in the mouth.
Don’t forget Peter Facinelli,
I guess you forgot: Kristen Stewart is pretty. I call her tha K-Stew
We all do, Steve. We all do.
I know! She’s actually funny in the Twilight movies! Which, given the subject and the writing, is pretty impressive.
The war against comedy continues.
Ashley Greene: 1
Comedy: 0
I hope her degree in Comedy Studies has a Women in Comedy (CMD 12 in your course catalogs) requirement.
Do they offer Intro to Pretty Women Being Clumsy during the summer session?
I think she got her comedians mixed up with her different hot sauces, because that’s what those two are! BANG!
This quote makes Ashley Greene seem ill-informed because she forgot the other female comedian, Megan Fox.
“Music is something that I’m definitely looking to get into. I had a little taste of it and I do intend on going to classes for it because I think it’s a different muscle, and it’s hard to find female musicians. … You’ve got, like, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz and that’s it.”
“Trolling is something that I’m definitely looking to get into. I had a little taste of it and I do intend on going to classes for it because I think it’s a different muscle, and it’s hard to find terrific trolls. … You’ve got, like, That One, Wertrew, Notsofast and that’s it.”
HAHA DERP DERP It’s Notsewfast, not Notsofast DERP DERP.
“Derp” is a fun word. Thank you for introducing it to me. I’ll now use it all the time.
I started saying it and I can’t stop. It’s so much fun!
Oh God, DERP has 36 definitions on Urban Dictionary… it’s like the RUN or GO of the troll dictionary.
I believe that it is worth quoting the whole exchange between Greene and the Fandango interviewer because it is horrible:
“Fandango: What sides of yourself are you looking forward to showing as an actress? Wild Apatow-style comedy, or something dramatic where you cry for half a movie?
Greene: I want to do it all! I definitely really want to do a kick-ass film. I’d love to do like a Tarantino-style film, very stylized. Comedy is something that I’m definitely looking to get into. I had a little taste of it and I do intend on going to classes for it because I think it’s a different muscle, and it’s hard to find female comedians.
Fandango: Especially beautiful ones…
Greene: You’ve got, like, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz and that’s it. There are a couple more, but that would definitely be something I’d want, to be a part of that comedy world.”
That’s great! “Especially beautiful ones…” Good job Scott Huver! You are a thoughtless asshole!
He was TOTALLY hitting on her with that “you got some beautiful ones” line
I’m confused. I have to reassess my tastes and values, because I didn’t know I was supposed to ignore funny, non-boringly-beautiful people.
When talking about how there aren’t many female comics, lamenting that most that there are aren’t also beautiful comes across to me as a stupid and sexist remark that would not be applied to male comics.
Rather than just talking about funny women, the converstaion turns to which ones are beautiful enough to be inspirational to a young actress. That seems like a jerky thing.
It isn’t wrong to think that women who are attractive to you are attractive, but in this context the interviewer came of too me as a sexist dick. There are plenty of women comics that I think are great and there are lots that I think are attractive, but when I think about who I think is funny, I don’t worry about which ones are hot. I worry about who makes me laugh.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mans, we’ve had a misunderstanding!
My comment was fake confusion, putting myself in the position of having, previous to your comment, been as sexist and assholey as douche who works for Fandango (also known as anyone who works for Fandango), but because of your comment, realized that hey, maybe non-boringly-beautiful people are funny too and should matter!
So, totally on board with your latter comment.
I silently upvoted you.
I’m sorry, I totally got confused. Please forgive me.
Pizzas for everyone!
Wait. I can’t even explain myself proper? I think what I was meaning to mean was that, prior to Fandango douching it up, I was enjoying whomever was funny, but after his interview I was made to feel that I was only supposed to enjoy beautiful people.
I think that’s what I meant?
Mans, can we still be buds and wear suits unnecessarily?
Of course:
I don’t just want to hug your comment, I want to take it to a nice restaurant and walk by the lake, introduce it to my parents, cohabitate with it, complete the necessary legal forms granting it power of attorney/legal beneficiary/etc., and grow old together. I have not decided if your comment and I will have adjoining burial plots or be cremated, however. I like to leave some surprises.
There is no better suprise than being cremated.
“Man it’s getting warm in here. I hope that guy comes back to let me out of this box soon.”
I lament that there aren’t any good-looking Fandango interviewers.
We get ignored all the time. So sad.
I only watch movies where the lead actress is crying for about half of it. My favorite actress, by default, is Julianne Moore.
Oh man, she is so good at crying.
Because Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are total uggos…
Ugh, Ashley Greene. Stop saying words.
Being genuinely funny automatically makes one beautiful or at least moderately attractive.
How old is this girl? 5? Because that’s definitely something a five year old would say.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- (gunshot)
Wow. She must not know what comedy is. She named two females who work in the Romantic Comedy genre but neither or then could possibly be considered comedians. They simply read scripts.
If she’s looking for working female comedians, maybe she could try:
Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sarah Silverman, Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr, Margaret Cho, Ellen Degeneris, Lily Tomlin, Wanda Sykes… I could go on for awhile.
i dont think we are giving enough credit to jennifer aniston’s avant garde performance piece, “lonely spinster perpetually on a diet”
Keep it up Super! and one of her 47 cats will eat your face off.
MARIA BAMFORD!!! THE BAMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She’s pretty, and funny
did you guy hear her on marc marons podcast?? it was like the best episode ever. http://wtfpod.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=614429
oh man!! you’re right, like i was trying to tell everybody i knew about it after hearing that episode!
also i overheard a guy talking about a different episode (the one where dom irerra told a story about arj barker) the other day, and i tried to join in the conversation (who am i?), but he and his date were not amused.
Dude, that was THE. BEST. When I put it on I was already excited because I just enjoy the shit out of everything both of them say individually, and then they teamed up and both get to delve into each others’ neuroses, like, SUPER-DEEP, and pull out all this love and understanding!
One of my all time favorite things ever, podcast or not. What a great conversation those two had.
Holy Crap! Didn’t even know Maron started another podcast! Thanks for the heads up!
Upvote!!
whoops…you said whoopi goldberg
ABSURD! She forgot Drew Barrymore…
and Katharine Hiegl, our generation’s one true comic genius.
Ashley Greene will be just as funny as her female comedy idols.
I wish I could take that quote and have little illegitimate quote babies with it and then systematically destroy them with awful parenting.
Fandango : Ashley Greene :: Rolling Stone : General McCrystal
Obama will be recalling her from Hollywood.
she forgot daniel songer.
Dammit, gifs, how do they work?
It is always so stressful posting images here. At any time any of us could fail!!!
Will this work?
Christopher Hitchens is rolling over in his grave.
Oh, he’s not dead? Damnit.
The demon Christopher Hitchens will never die. Sorry.
i hear christopher hitchens roams the hillsides at night, singing a lullaby his mother sang to him and feasting on the blood of small deer
Her boyfriend should direct her in a revival of the one-woman show they created: “The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe” by Nick Madson and Ashley Greene
“Jumbo lump grade crab meat is something that I’m definitely looking to get into. I had a little taste of it and I do intend on going to classes for it because I think it’s a different muscle, and it’s hard to find female jumbo lump grade crab meat. … You’ve got, like, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz and that’s it.” —Twilight’s Ashley Greene
Way to take the wind out of Lisa Lampinelli’s sails, Ashley Greene.
Cameron Diaz… The gall.
Hey Ashley Greene!
That was quite larger than I expected.
(ATGSTTS)
Ashley Greene: the future Bud Light Lime of comedy.
As a rabid comedy fan, I’d just like to say that this quote prompted my first fit of hate vomiting. What a louse!
Is there an emoticon for hate vomiting?
Is it this? >:-0<
This made me all kinds of barf. Good thing I didn’t have any respect for her in the first place!
Finally, a female Ryan Reynolds.
Maria Bamford just puked on her shoes
And Chelsea Lately just squirted her Belvedere filled water bottle all in her hair.
do any universities offer degrees in comedy arts?
if not, someone should get on that before this field explodes in popularity.
Amy Sedaris loved her in that thing she did.