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You guys, Chace Crawford was arrested last night for marijuana possession! You think you know a teen hearththrob and then they go and do something like this. Now all the kids who look up to him (so many kids, I bet) are going to try and get arrested for marijuana possession so that they can be like their favorite actor. It’s really unbelievable. Nate Archibald! Marijuana! I’m just kidding, mom. I don’t even know what marijuana is! But I definitely think that whatever it is, everyone who even knows what it is should definitely be in jail. That seems like the only reasonable and appropriate response. Luckily, none of us know what it is. But let’s have an extra safe weekend and not even look it up in the dictionary. Remember: knowledge is a gateway to prison.
After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated Comment, the winner of this week’s Hugh Jackman on a Scooter Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
duncan | Jun 2nd | Score:83 |
| Posted in: BRODYQUEST | |||
| #4 |  |
paperstreetsoap | May 28th | Score:85 |
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What homosexual would be caught dead in a “brown shirt”? |
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| Posted in: Hitler And All The Nazis Were All Homos, Says Some Fucking Asshole | |||
| #3 |  |
Notsewfast | Jun 1st | Score:86 |
| Posted in: “Who Are Your Seven Evil Exes?” — Some Other Blog | |||
| #2 |  |
werttrew | Jun 1st | Score:107 |
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“Fake and gay” –surprisingly accurate YouTube commenter |
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| Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: McDonald’s Is Bad For Gay People, Too | |||
| #1 |  |
Godzilla Got Busy | May 28th | Score:108 |
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They usually don’t. |
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| Posted in: The 16th Summer Jam Of 2010: ICP “Miracles” Performed By Look At The Fields | |||
Ed. note: You guys were commenting up a storm this week, especially considering that we are in the dog days of summer. These are the dog days of summer, right? Sure they are. The thing is, we have to stick together if we are going to make it through this miserable season that everyone hates. It’s just more important than ever that we stay in our dark, stuffy rooms staring at our computers right now. Very very important. So good work, all of us, because we definitely appear to be doing that.
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
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Hit_Girl | May 28th | Score:-33 |
| Also, Dear Gabe, I don’t believe stealing is wrong. (I’ll just leave it at that) In nature, if a cheetah is eating a dead gazelle and a lion comes along and STEALS that dead gazelle it’s not stealing it’s “life”. LIFE! Science proves it. The End. |
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| Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments | ||
Ed. note: Oof, you again? And this still? At this point it is hard to know if you are joking and fucking with me, or serious and fucking retarded. In either case, this is painfully stupid. Please get real, sir/ma’am.
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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mydaughter’sname69 | Jun 2nd | Score:67 |
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“It’s a good thing my backpack and cargo shorts pockets are stuffed with condoms, because I am going to be needing all of them.” |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Hugh Jackman On A Razor Scooter | ||
Ed. note: Congratulations, mydaughter’sname69. You earned it!
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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Steve Winwood | Jun 1st | Score:64 | |
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You think THAT’S bad!? You should have seen the earlier version of this ad with Grimace and the Hamburglar arguing about who loved the new Sex and the City movie MORE. |
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| Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: McDonald’s Is Bad For Gay People, Too | |||
Ed. note: I would just like to commend Steve Winwood on what seems to be a gradual transition towards productive and contributive commenting, rather than antagonistic trolling. I particularly enjoy the current inside joke of people saying that certain women under discussion are pretty, and Steve Winwood’s response of “NOOOOOO!” Of course, I fear that by rewarding and acknowledging Steve Winwood’s contributions to the community, it will only provoke him towards a regressive commenting attitude. But maybe not? I hope not! Hi, new Steve Winwood!
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As Videogum’s unofficial archivist/social director, let me make my monthly copy/pasted reminder of ways to learn about and connect with the Vgum community. The commenting system pretty much hates more than two links in a comment, however, so I’m going to break this up into a few comments.
1. The Twitter List
http://twitter.com/werttrew/videogum
Basically, this is a Twitter list following Videogum’s commenters, contributers, and a few celebrity Twitter accounts pertinent to Videogum. If you want to follow the list, all you need is a Twitter account and you can click on the follow option on the above link.
If you want to be added to the list, contact me via Twitter (@werttrew) or email me at werttrew99 at yahoo.com. There’s no criteria or requirements for being added, but let me request that you follow @Videogum on Twitter and that you give me your Videogum commenter name for my master list that matches commenter names with Twitter accounts: http://werttrew.tumblr.com/post/232059116/videogum-monsters-list (If there are errors with that list, please let me know.)
2. My tumblr archives, most notably the complete list of films covered for The Worst Movie of All Time and the Videogum Inside-Joke compendium.
I’m relatively new here (long(ish)time listener, first(not first)-time caller), so thank you for this, werttrew.
3. The Chatroom. http://videogum.com/chat/
The chat is always “open,” but there aren’t always necessarily people hanging out. (although lately there seems to be folks there most afternoons) There is one time for sure that folks regularly congregate there: Friday afternoons around 3:30 EST. When Mad Men starts up in July we’ll be meeting there, too.
4. Last.fm
We have about 125 Videogum monsters in a last.fm group started by Lolwut // Mjh110. http://www.last.fm/group/Videogum+Monsters
oh, and we’ll be in the chat Sunday during the mtv awards, but please be sure to comment on the live vgum thread itself, too.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
that’s his thing. and this is my sausage.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Whaaat? This is one wreckless collage of jokes.
Kids use alternate accounts to do, Da poo poo eutur suxxx buttz while ))(( (twss) the Darnest things .Clever gir
))(( Topher Grace, back and forth, forever and ever.
BOOO. I suck. Downvote away.
As an archivist, I have to say that your methodological approach to archiving Videogum and realising different approaches that make investigating the various sides of this great blog possible makes me want you to perform research on my finding aids.*
* I have no idea what that analogy means…
my ongoing list of things you cant joke about here update:
1) AIDS
2) the mentally retarded
3) wetrew and/or heath ledger=related sight-gags
Is that a joke about AIDS, though? I was thinking that finding aids were what archivists call their assistants. Either way it doesn’t really make sense to me.
Wait, I get it.
Fine. Downvote my confusion.
WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!???
Aw come on you guys, that’s not fair – PSYCHE! My bad just kiddin’. I don’t give a care, brohams and brohettes. Have a nice weekend and I’ll see you on tha …. wait for it… FLIP SIIIIIIIIIDE!
I still maintain that since Steve can now put the demons of Lost behind him, he can now blossom in to a beautiful nightmare creaturefly. But for old-time’s sake this is for you Steve:
Have a great weekend, Monsters.
Steve, I got you a little something:
Well, hey there, cutie.
man I upvote sloths no matter what the context. it’s my kryptonite
“You’re pretty.”
— Me, Who Now Loves Steve Winwood, Apparently, 1986 – 2012
Steve, sorry if this is awkward but I’ve accidentally started incorporating your Vgum quirks into my vernacular. Example: “What do you want for dinner, Carrie?” “Lasagna–PSYCHE! Just kiddin, I don’t give a care!” Everyone really loves it!
You’re alright, SW.
You can peep the okapi
I’m in LOVE!!!!! OKAPI!!!!
When I was a kid the okapi was my favorite animal.
The “liger” scene in Napoleon Dynamite kind of hit too close to home for me.
it’s the new new steve winwood
Congrats, Steve.
This one’s for you:
I’ll be on the slip n slide after a few cold ones…. because maturity.
Be careful not to set up the slip ‘n slide near hard surfaces like concrete or bricks! You never know when a less-coordinated slip-n-slider will slip/slide too far and have an accident! I say this as a survivor of slip-n-slide-related (mild) head trauma–people love fun, but people are also careless.
Also, it’s not fun to slip and/or slide over hard and jagged surfaces such as concrete or bricks or anything that has a corner. Bam. Just saved you a bleeding backside.
Hey guys, by slip n slide I meant take a nap in the shower.
Speak for yourself, old man Gabe. On my fancy new “lap top” computer, I can sip mojitos out by the pool AND comment on VG at the same time. Motherfucking miracles in the dog days of summer. This guy knows.
Gah. But I cannot, apparently, keep my identity a secret – “lap top” or otherwise.
Facebook Connect, how does it work?
It usually doesn’t.
haha, stalking you now
Let’s make this weekend a happy one, guys!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKqjIv91Zx8
Uh…won’t LeeLee be pissed about this?
Have a great weekend everyone! Even though we may be wallowing in our own crude oil poison mixture down here on Earth, it’s a party right now in heaven.
I’m starting a facebook group: “1 million strong to keep Betty White out of that .gif”
the plan involves a constant rotation of monkey heart transplants.
NEEDS MORE RUE!!!!
More upvotes, is the only thing this needs.
I love this gif but I hate this gif! It’s made my internet browser crash twice!
I can’t tell you how much I love this .gif
It really is awesome.
In honor of the dog days of summer, let’s post some pics of those adorable little guys we can go swimming with! I’ll go first
Next time use the direct link box holmes
Liz, you are always the best.
often what makes me laugh the most at VG is the progression of the threads. this is one for the books. Liz, you are perfect.
Upvote a million!
I may have just hugged my laptop
Adorable, and helpful. “You look hot, here’s some ice.”
I didn’t have to search for this because goldendoodlezone.com is my homepage.
Mine is BabyAnimalz.com
Oof.
I was at a bachelorette party last weekend, and I drunkenly asked my geologist friend at what point would the entire world’s oceans become black sludge. She told me she couldn’t do math at the moment.
I’m upvoting you because I was about to do this. Great minds post upsetting photos of birds covered in oil alike.
I’m downvoting you because I can’t downvote myself.
Just kidding! Sorry everyone! Pretend it’s chocolate!
Seriously, guys, I just got home from work and I’m tired and cranky and I was like, “I think I’ll go read some videogum and cheer up and not think about things. Oh look, monster’s ball is full of cute animal pictures! I’ll just look at this and watch this episode of Community and then maybe I’ll just go to bed happy and…right.”
Do do do… (that’s the Charlie Brown sad music played repeatedly in the Arrested Development episode “Good Grief”)
Please post the rest of the pictures from the bachelorette party!
Sorry – Mike Tyson broke all our cameras.
Thanks for indulging my zany ideas, monsters!
“Let’s post cute animal pictures” is not exactly a hard sell.
It just barely edges out “Let’s eat bacon,” because eating bacon is something to do in private.
But with a THEME!
Hey look who else was down there:
(I tried posting it before on BrodyQuest but i had just too many links. Here’s my 2nd shot!)
I had nightmares about this thread last night because I’ve been swimming in the ocean (yes, I’ve managed to leave WI) and the weirdest things brush up against you. Plus I got manawar stings in the Gulf of Mexico back when there was little to no oil in it. I think I was 15.
So this site turns trolls into productive, appreciated members.
I can’t help but think this is far more significant than we realize. This is the only website I have ever seen that defies the laws of internet animosity. Somehow, the world ended up with an irregular lumping of kind and humorous people right here at videogum.
Ladies and dudes, this is the anti-internet. And since I hardly ever get opportunities to propose new portmanteaus, we’ll go ahead and call it the anternet.
You know what they say:
when life gives you lemons, make Lemon Faygo.
Gary Busey says: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life cracks your head, use a helmet.”
http://www.youtube.com/user/garybuseyonbusiness#p/u/16/vgEwCcOMno8
Upvote for portmanteau.
p.s. SPELLING BEE TONGIHT OR SOMETHING.
Oh, irony.
Videogum is made entirely of anti-matter. And trampolines. Which sounds quite dangerous, actually.
More like an awesome party of scicence!!!!
There’s a real life pizza party next week. Sunday, June 13th. At Pequods Pizza in Chicago, to celebrate
“The Serendipitous Intersection of Werttrew and Pizza in our city and our lives”
I haven’t made a poster yet. Something tells me the almighty innernets will abide.
OH HEAR ME YE INNERNETS!!!
Ooh. I might be in.
I’ll bring the Amelia DVD?
No thanks.
I’m always so confused by her outfit in that video! You’re stranded in the desert; it looks hot. Covering your head is a smart idea, but covering your head in leopard fur?
I guess I gotta do this myself –
HAY GUYZ!!!
That chameleon(air?) looks like he needs a stained white t-shirt and a bud light to watch the game.
i enter ticket giveaways all the time here in l.a. and never win. so i entered the insane clown posse giveaway as a joke just for the fuck of it, and what happens? I FUCKING WON TICKETS. so i guess i’m down with the clown. what a fucking miracle.
Woozey and the Juggalos finna get down! You should go to HatchetSpace.net and find some people to meet up! Make your JuggaCrew Strong, Son!!
(I’m DS tha Wicked Shit, FYI)
I have actually been to an ICP concert, and I have some advice for you. Bring a like-minded friend so you don’t feel like you’re all alone on an alien planet. You will still feel like that, but at least you won’t be the only one of “your kind” there. It’s sort of like going to a foreign country, being surrounded by people with strange customs you don’t understand, and even though they may seem intimidating at times, they’re just doing their own thing and don’t mean to cause trouble. You will probably see a few other non-juggalos there, and it’s easy to connect with these people just as it’s easy to connect with other travelers when you’re abroad.
Another tip, and I cannot stress this enough: stay far away from the front of the stage. If your venue has a balcony, this is the ideal location. This is assuming you don’t want to go home soaked in Faygo. When I saw them, they had two large barrels full of 2-liter bottles, and a few stagehands whose sole job was to restock said barrels.
But you will have more fun than you expect to have. Even though their music is not “good,” ICP put on a very entertaining show, and you will not find a more enthusiastic crowd. And if you ever take an anthropology class, you can write a paper about it.
This guys knows how to be active!
(I’m pretty sure that’s a guy.)
I’ve been AWOL pretty much all week again, guys. Hope you’ve had a great week. It’s supposed to rain all weekend here in WI so I’ll be catching up on Vgum reading, but hey, if you want to give a shout (It’s been lonely in Nowhere Town) email me and let me know how you’ve been doing. I’ve got a lot of goodwill to pass around and return!
Smooches,
NP
nakedpainter74@yahoo.com
(and don’t forget the wine and cheese)
BTW, I got a “new” car this week! I feel a little undeserving since I’ve stopped looking for work this winter (what with the whole hospitialization yadda yadda yadda), but apparently God wants me to drive in an actual safe car with air conditioning and everything! YAY The engine light isn’t even on!
i like how steve winwood is our new hero, classic comeback story
How bad is Steve in the grand scheme of things?
3 pixels…? I’ve never been good at pop quizzes.
Hey monsters…. Does anyone have an animated gif of the scene from Spring Break Shark Attack where the dude surfs (windsurfs, maybe?) right into a sharks mouth? Thanks in advance.
nope.. but I can do jet ski
fuck yeah. rewarded for nazi jokes. 4th place. bam!
As much steve winwood talk as there has been, steve winwood has not spoken. are you there, steve winwood?
Steve spoke. It’s up there. Check again.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I miss you guys! I went into my first day of work a couple weeks ago excited to see the positioning of my desk. Alas, the screen faces directly into my bosses office. I shall be late to alllll the parties.
I just saw “Splice” and thought it was very good. I don’t want to spoil it, but let me say, if Adrien Brody does in “Predetors” what he did in this movie, I think it is going to be a MUST SEE.
I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see Adrien Brody and the Predator…. nevermind, I’ve said too much.
I figured he meant with Topher Grace, in which case we all want to see that
GABE! I can’t believe you of all people have already forgotten the lessons of HAWKPANTHER! Number 3: Hawkpanthers don’t steal because everything already belongs to them! COME ON!
i think its tough .But there is no word called impossible in this world to get their things done.
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