Photos
Here is a photo of Hugh Jackman, a world-famous celebrity, the international spokesperson for Lipton brand iced tea, and star of such films as Australia, and Kate and Leopold, but most importantly, A GROWN UP ADULT MAN, peeing his pants riding a scooter through the streets of New York City as if that’s just a thing that grown up adult men do. And what I would like is for you to caption this photo.
Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball and a lifetime supply of Lipton brand iced tea*. (Image via Epicponyz.)
*We reserve the right to change the rules and/or cancel the prize-packaging for this contest at any time without acknowledgement.
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“Whoopee!!!!”
or: WEEEEEEEEEE!
I could really go for some Lipton Iced Tea right now.
I could really go for some Lipton Iced Pee right now.
Now it’s right
My segway is in the repair shop.
I pee my pants, wear CARGO SHORTS and ride a scooter! I’m an adult!
He only rides the scooter when he lets the actor in him take over his transportation needs.
I was all ready to hate his childish ways…and then I saw his backpack:
http://i46.tinypic.com/2s9tz45.jpg
these khaki shorts will really bring out the colour of my thighs.
“I’m the best there is at what I do and what I do is pee on my scooter.”
“if a straight guy can give barbera walters a lapdance, a straight guy can ride a scooter.”
Out-of-the-know pedestrians wondered how a scooter could be leaking brake fluid.
A dingo ate my vespa
Hugh Jackman shoots for the perfect combination of pee volume and speed to make the urine trail behind him stretch a full city block.
A Hugh Jackman imposter. You can tell by the dry pants. The REAL PRESTIGE, indeed.
“It’s a good thing my backpack and cargo shorts pockets are stuffed with condoms, because I am going to be needing all of them.”
don’t have a water balloon fight with wolverine!
Pictured: Hugh Jackman rides a scooter through New York in cargo shorts. Not pictured: dignity
Not pictured: the headphones blasting his scootering playlist (it’s all Jet and Nickleback).
If we’re talking sound tracks to shameless douchery, it’s definitely Creed. “Can you take me HIGHER?!”
You guys, this is actually an on-set pic from an upcoming film entitled “The Wackiest of Wednesdays” where Jackman plays Tom Wednesday, a working class Father who accidentally (and hilariously, as it turns out) switches bodies with his 14 year old, cargo short wearing, slacker son, Reginald (Beiber). This pic is from the climactic scene in which Tom has to somehow, without a license or money for public transportation, get to a board meeting which is son is sure to somehow ruin with his flippant ‘tude.
…I would watch that movie.
Damn it, H that sticks on my keyboard! You will be the death of me. “which is son” = “which his son”
Don’t worry, Ghostdad, in my head you said it in a charming cockney accent
Seen in this photo: Hugh Jackman doing NOTHING to help with the oil spill in the Gulf.
“Hugh Jackman preparing the ‘Where to Find Hugh Walking Tour’, where for the low price of $24.99, you can follow Hugh Jackman’s trail of pee and see which local hotspots he likes to frequent.”
As Jackman rides away with a pained expression, a mysterious hand works its way out of his buttocks.
Either that or he grew a small, hand-like tail.
Crap Your Hands Say Yeah
(If I did that right, you just exhaled sharply through your nose. Let me know.)
After multiple DUIs and now being banned from the subway Hugh Jackman does whatever it takes to get to the audition for Iron Man 3.
Hugh Jackman’s ploy to go incognito in pee-colored shorts as Uri N. McTurate was foiled by the paps spotting him on his trademark PeePee Scoot- Scoot.
Also: Pee.
This is what happens when you are banned from all NYC taxis.
“oh, back to school, back to school, to prove to dad that i’m not a fool”
The puddles behind him are about five feet apart and we’ll estimate that the scooter is traveling approximately 7 mph. With that information, we can infer that Hugh Jackman pees more than twice in one second.
But at least he’s learning to not do it in his pants! Seriously, why does he even wear pants?
The great thing about this is that here, in New York (and probably other places) you still see grown men, often in suits, riding these scooters. Just valiantly plugging along, like it is a thing people should do.
Hugh Jackman takes a ride through the late ’90s. Not pictured: dry pants.
“It’s too bad Al Gore and Tipper broke up. I guess that means: no more Off Gore Drilling. GET IT!? AHHHHHH????” – Jay Leno with a mouth full of Doritos
This is some post modern shit, Bro.
Not everybody can travel like Adrian Brody.
Hugh Jackman’s new mode of transportation after being banned from the subway.
Regular-Sized Ackman couldn’t pull this off.
“My sneakers are the best.”
(If you had to scroll up, I get an upvote.)
fiiiiiine…….(reluctantly clicks the up-vote icon)
Spencer Breslin Looks Fantastic
“I have a picture of a straight guy in my wallet.”
“Lookin’ good, bro!”
- Kevin Smith
“Can’t wait to get home to play some videogames!”
Look, mom! No splash guard!
this feels more natural than riding a bike
“What? 41′s the new 12.”- Hugh Jackman.
“Have you guys seen the urinals at Radio City Music Hall? They are RAD!” – Hugh Jackman on his skooter
Hugh Jackman has never used a urinal in his life, Steve.
Exactly. That’s why he loves the Radio City Music Hall urinals because you can’t use them…? I got nothin’.
“all I hear these days is ‘poo poo this and poo poo that.’ What about the pee pee? What about the PEE PEE??!”
Hugh Jackman tries to become a respectable adult.
Tomorrow.
I did a little research and he was actually on his way to meet his friend Liam Neeson.
more like Liam PEEson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Celebrities peeing their pants thread!.
She’s peety
-Steve Winwood
PEEve Wizzwood
“Could you please direct me to summer of 1999? I have a Len concert to get to.”
I can’t wait to sing about this.
“SNIKT! I did it again!” – Hugh Jackman
In a subtle tribute to the late Dennis Hopper, Jackman participates in the easiest of easy riding.
Hugh Jackman let the actor in him take over when, in the middle of singing a high note while busking on 5th Street, he could no longer contain himself and stole a nine-year-old’s scooter.
“Jockin my fresh” – Matthew Broderick
Note: this isn’t really a submission for the caption contest. I’m just commenting on Matthew Broderick’s behalf because HEY – scooters were his thing first.
Usually I ride a horse
I’m sorry that was terrible
No, that was fantastic.
Mathew Broderick’s poor little girl has two right legs and no left.
I think that is their son…maybe…hmmm…
Now let’s all take a moment of silence to realize that someone willingly made a child with Sarah Jessica Parker.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop an ride a scooter every once and while, you could pee your pants. meh.
Pictured: Razor scooter and friend.
I just saw this guy on campus today. HONEST.
holdonholdonholdonholdon. play it cool, you’re fucking WOLVERINE! holdonholdonholdonholdonholdonholdon…
*Hugh Jackman sings after peeing himself to hit the high notes*
“A British tar is a soaring soul,
As free as a mountain bird,
His energetic fist should be ready to resist
A dictatorial word.
His nose should pant
and his lip should curl,
His cheeks should flame
and his brow should furl,
His bosom should heave
and his heart should glow,
And his fist be ever ready
for a knock-down blow.
His eyes should flash with an inborn fire,
His brow with scorn be wrung;
He never should bow down
to a domineering frown,
Or the tang of a tyrant tongue.
His foot should stamp, and his throat should growl,
His hair should twirl, and his face should scowl;
His eyes should flash, and his breast protrude,
And this should be his customary attitude.”
*Pees a little more*
tl;dr
I like Hugh Wolverine. I mean, I do think he has the intelligence of my foot but still he looks like he’s having a good time while being totally un-self-aware of what he’s doing. Which is clearly the best way to have a good time.
Marty McFly is about to come out of nowhere and just wreck his whole day.
OCEANOFPEEQUEST
“Wolverine is seen here on a secret mission to deliver the adamantium scooter from the clutches of the evil…aw, fuck it. What is this, 1998?”
Context: http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/K9jEAAL8gmQ/Hugh+Ava+Jackman+Ride+Scooters/eP-GZluQWhh/Hugh+Jackman
What a stupid idiot, riding scooters with his daughter! A GROWN UP ADULT MAN spending time with his daughter, as if that’s just a thing that grown up adult men do. This is totally normal. (This is not totally normal.)
Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now! Gotta go! Gotta go! GOTTA GO!
[In his head] “Breath in, flex….hold it….hooooooold it….exhale”
Hugh Jackman finds a magic dragon and plays surfing. Potatoes.
The Feeble, the Harley, the 180, the Bronco— Sccoter tricks for amateurs. Feast your eyes on the Soggy Jackman Pisswhip.
What do razors and Hugh Jackman have in common? They should both be left in the 00′s
“The city may be able to keep me off the subway, but they can’t keep me from peeing on my scooter! RIDING, I meant riding on my scooter. Come on.”
(In Australian accent)
“You lock the wey I push my boobs tohgethah”
“There’s a lot of ground to cover…in pee!!!!”
“Ding ding! All aboard the Pee Pants Express! Next stop: Mississipee!”
Hugh Jackman stole a scooter from a little girl, mere minutes before this photograph was taken. When asked why he had done such a devious thing, he said “Well, I’m not about to walk through miles of my own pee. My shoes will get all dirty.” A reporter then asked Jackman why he doesn’t just quickly stop at a bathroom, to which Hugh replied “A what?”
I’m confused. Which picture are we supposed to caption?
This is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Thank you, thank you. A million times, thank you. LOLOL.
THAT ONE’S PREVIOUSLY SLEEPING FIANCE: “Jesus, what the are you laughing at?”
THAT ONE: “HAHAHA sorry… Hugh Jackman… haha… pee… scooters… heh… I’m an idiot. Sorry.”
I’d like to believe that when she falls back asleep, she’ll dream of this image. I just hope she doesn’t pee her pants. Giving the dog a bath is a pain in the ass as it is.
“Yo that Jack Hughman’s got a FINE ass scoots-mobile. He’s got even brakes on that mo’fucka fo’ the safety and shit!” -Tracy Morgan
“Hey yo, Hugh Jackman! Here’s a little tip for you. If you use the handlebars of that scooter to pleasure a woman, her orgasm will sound like the dying breath of a West Indian hyena. You’re welcome.” -Tracy Morgan
I hope he went for the rust-proofing option.
I don’t care if he wets the bed, I still wouldn’t kick him out of it.
i couldn’t agree with hugh more:
He’s even TOO HOT FOR TINY PIC!!
“Pee Over Me”
honestly, not related but have you seen this:
http://bit.ly/a2BGxM
o man yes please
“Pictured above: Douche.”
“Look what I can do!”
Irony – Riding a product called a RAZOR when you have never had a clean shave in your life.
“What are you LOLing about Bub”
Wolverine – 6/2010
NYPD are on the lookout for a scooter w/ vanity lic plates “URNTRBL” — which is either a cry for help or thinly veiled threat.