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e-Closing up iShop a little early today to head over to the Videogum/Stereogum ‘Gum Bowl. Neat! Hopefully, you have already RSVP’ed for the free music concert, right? Right. Good job! We did it! In honor of tonight’s event, this week’s Caption Contest is a special bowling-themed edition. Very timely. Very bowling. Look at these old people forming fun Wii Bowling leagues to pass the time! You can only knit so many scarves for your grandchildren and eat so much pudding in any given day, so you’ve got to find ways to stay busy. But while you’re staying busy, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT AND/OR SAYING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?! Either of those things for any of these people would make a great caption, I bet. (Obviously, this goes with out saying, but Videogum is Team Seniors, if you know what I mean. So play smart.)
Winner, as always, will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. STRIKE ONE! (Right? I did that right. Let’s get ready to sportsballllll!)
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I wii’d in my depends!
No, old people! The TV is BEHIND you!
Wii Bowling is one of the more popular activities at Shady Acres Retirement Community. Also, casual racism.
And Gabe, you look like you’re having a blast. Good for you.
“This is a place that you all made together so that you could find each other” — Christian Shephard, Emperor/Director of Purgatory© and the Afterlife©
Pictured: The Reapers (left) and The Kevorkians (right) vying for the Springfield Home for the Elderly Wii Bowling League Championship.
“And on Tuesdays we play we box. We be boxing? What was it again, dear?”
Betty White’s favourite game on the Wii is the one where she repeatedly smacks Gabe in the face. For not letting her be great.
Betty White actually promised to sub in on the green team, but she was busy being “great”. Now the green team has to play with one less player. Thanks a lot Betty White.
Think how worse it would be if they were playing Wii curling.
The Bowlful of Cheerios League never forgot Coach Gabe, who managed their Pee Wee League to victory in 1936, showing up to every game despite going through his third divorce and suffering from a bad back after being run over by a horseless carriage. Every Tuesday night they get together and Wii Bowl in his honor.
Now the elderly can have fun with Wii too. Presenting “Betty White Hosts SNL: The Game”
From the makers of “The Bachelor: the Game”.
Welcome to our assisted living center Mr. Delahaye. You will be on the Green team!
Purgatory: now with games!
Pictured: Betty White’s team of publicists, taking a break from making Facebook pages and infesting the minds of internet culture bloggers
One Million Strong to Get Betty White into an Elder-care Bowling League.
Somebody call my grandson, I can’t find the tv.
The on set photos from the next Star Trek movie have not inspired much enthusiasm from fans.
Will you still need mii will you still feed mii when I’m sixty four?
Now imagine this digital bowling ball is really a gallon of your feces…
I guess some people don’t appreciate old SNL jokes, battlecat. I thought it was LOLZ. Upvote City!
Thanks, k-nugget
Arriving on bookshelves in 2011: The new novel from Nicholas Sparks, “The Old Man and the Wii”
Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right A B Select Hip-replacement
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Your father and I are very disappointed in you. Or is it you’re father? (double checks the Webster’s Dictionary) Yeah, it’s your father not the other way around as you stated…so, uh…(closes dictionary smugly satisfied) you’re welcome? (Yeah, you’re welcome)
got me BIG TIME
you took a bisque, and you lost.
9 geriatric bowlers, 18 very functional, very comfortable shoes.
Hey! The team on the right have an extra player!
What kind of bizarro-bowling league is this? Sort out your rules, old people!
Who do you think is taking the picture? Green Teamer #5 (aka Gabe)
I just assumed the missing player on the right was in that wheel chair (Stroller?), for emotional support!
And yes, I HAVE been looking at this picture for a long time.
The green team member, Walter, was absent because he “Doesn’t FUCKING ROLL ON SHABBAHS”
Now you can bowl safely and securely from your Hover Round chair!
Bernice had her two boys come down all the way from the city, which is so nice for her. We understand. She says the oldest makes quite the living at those internets and the youngest’s daughter will be heading off to college in the fall. Seem like nice folks.
“I just totally PWNED you, n00b!”
-Mabel Johnson, 97
Aww. they are too brittle for real bowling balls.
Not true! My fiance’s grandma’s boyfriend (I know) still bowls almost every single day. He’s 83 and can’t remember anyone’s name but he does remember that he bowled a 228 last week.
Old people often amaze me.
(Pictured from left to right) Two pimps and seven spring chickens
In an effort to combat rampant street crime, the police have armed senior citizens with tazer guns, and a mandate to take out any suspected “whipper-snapper”.
Due to recruiting violations, the sanctions handed down by the OPBL stated that the Green GrandPs were only allowed four bowlers for the remainder of the tournament. The Green GrandPs have released the following statement: “Dagnabbit.”
You can keep these guys out of the bowling alley (so you can film bowling or something) but you can’t keep the bowling alley out of these guys.
Mark it (ninety) eight, Dude
Eighty-year-olds, dude.
This is not Wii ‘Nam. This is Wii bowling. There are rules.
I posted this way below before reading this one. But it fits better here. So yeah.
Phylis, you are entering a world of pain.
Mark it zero, Harold.
You don’t fool our Lord and Savior Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man – ha ha!
The Calm Meadows Retirement Home bowling team warms up before heading out to Lebowski Fest ’10
Are those shirts from the Charlie Sheen Collection?
Can I have a do-over?
“Shirts provided by Charlie Sheen.”
wii bowling leagues in nursing homes have become necessary to wear out old folks and in turn curb the rampant outbreaks of STDs
We officially challenge Betty White to a duel.
The wii bowling match was a light-hearted affair until someone put Call of Duty 2, a WW2 game, in the console which induced a state of confused panic in the several WW2 vets and holocaust survivors present. The police were called when the docile crowd of senior citizens turned violent as they were about to be loaded on the bus back to the retirement home.
You can tell the two guys in the back joined the team to pick up chicks. Nothing attracts the ladies like a man in a bowling uniform. Well, except tickets to see Frank Sinatra, Jr. Swoon!
Smiles courtesy of Dr. Mario:
Whee.
Dr. Mario refuses your insurance, watch out for those viruses!
Nine humans do something.
“Now that we have the Wii, and we don’t use balls anymore, I can use my old bowling-ball bag to lug around my elephantiasitic testicles,” said Bob Allison, second from left.
[DOWNVOTE AWAY!]
“HAIL SATAN!!!”
In case you guys don’t get this, it’s a reference to the old people at the end of Rosemary’s Baby, which is a Rapey MacPolanski movie hence = Videogum action
The 95th Annual Gum Bowl Finalists
This is not Wii ‘Nam. This is Wii bowling. There are rules.
I upvoted both times because it made me laugh out loud both times.
Sideways reality.
“Back in my day we played PONG.”
“I’m wearing a cup, just in case” – guy on left.
Its a scientific fact that women live longer than men. And if you do live long enough, you’ll be forced to play a game you don’t understand on a “talkie”.
…In England they call Wii Bowling “Lorries”.
“Seniors Spared by Obama Death Panels Start Rolling Strikes.”
the all girl team is the best in the world, they’re also called “the lipsticks”
Mr. Plainview, 87, (pictured far left) is no longer trusted with the wii remote after repeated attempts to use it to bash in the heads of competitors.
The next to last woman on the right looks like E.T.
Not pictured: jokes that are NOT about Gabe being an old man.
The winning team gets a handful of Werther’s Original and an extra hour on the porch swing.
“The new interactive porn video game version of Cocoon is RAD to tha HELLA!!!!!” – the old folks say this in unison
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“Are we doing this right?”
Well, no. First of all, the TV is behind you. Secondly, you know the warning the Wii displays before it lets you play, about tightening the wrist-strap? You didn’t see it? Well, clearly.
Tuesday, May 4th: Mabel and Gladdis enthusiastically kick off “Mothbowl ’10″.
When asked, contestants agreed the pace has left them breathless.
I remember when they didn’t have those newfangled ball machines and you had to crawl there yourself and get your ball, and women weren’t allowed either
This used to be fields, as far as the eye could see.
Thanks to the crippling effects of Alzheimer’s, the staff saved a bit of cash by bulk ordering bowling uniforms all embroidered with the same name, “Ethel”.
Smile as she might, Ellen couldn’t disguise her contempt for Mary.
“Thanks to Wii, racially integrated bowling lanes are a thing of the past. Thanks, Nintendo!”
Shortly after the picture was taken the gentlemen on the left wiied his pants.
The future: Allowing old people to bowl and wear orthopedic shoes.
I am way too late to make a Betty White joke, I probably would have said something about a facebook group or a snicker’s commercial
“The Dusty Muffins wii-bowling league”
Bowling for Sensodyne
While the Wii Bowling portion of the night was fun, things took a turn for the worse when the all came back for the movie portion of the night. They soon learned the hard way that “Hard Candy” was not about what they thought it was.
the = they. DAMMIT.
One staff member commented, “Anything that puts a stop to all that pervy stuff that was happening with The Sims…”
“Lemonade to be served after the game. Don’t miss the lemon party!”
ah, shoot. i’m never trying to caption a photo again. i’m much better at lurking.
*lurk lurk*
Movie: Old Nintendogs
Starring: Michael Douglas
Tagline: In their world, we are the game.
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Sir Ian McKellen Mistaken for Retired Woman Inside Nursing Home
I am the worst!
How do I work it!
those obama death panels have some entertaining notions of qualifying for that remaining health care
They might make it to the next level, But they wont make it to next year.
“Is this the button for the email?”
none of the orderlies wanted to spoil the fun and tell them the TV was actually behind them.
I think I’ve got a thumbsdowner stalking me…
“I know, let’s make him one of us! Set phasers to ‘age.’”
“No, thank YOU for being a friend!”
So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now where was I… oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn’t get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…
2 guys 7 women
“Happiness is protecting my unfortunate nickname from Edna’s backswing.” – Richard
Murder She Bowled
“It’s not just a Wii-mote, it’s a senior-friendly vibrator!”